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Quotes

Baldrick: I have a cunning plan to save the king.

Edmund Blackadder: Ha! Well forgive me if a don't do a cartwheel of joy; your family's history in the department of cunning planning is about as impressive as Stumpy O'Leg McNolegs' personal best in the Market Harborough marathon.

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Edmund Blackadder: Baldrick, your brain is like the four-headed, man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen.

Baldrick: In what way?

Edmund Blackadder: It doesn't exist.

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Edmund Blackadder: Oh damn! One measly civil war in the entire history of England and I'm on the wrong bloody side!

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Edmund Blackadder: We will enter a hideous age of Puritanism. They'll close all the theaters... lace handkerchiefs for men will be illegal... and I won't be able to find a friendly face to sit on this side of Boulogne!

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Edmund Blackadder: Shut up, with the greatest respect, your Majesty.

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Edmund Blackadder: Shut up, with the deepest respect, your Highness!

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Edmund Blackadder: The Earl he had a thousand sovereigns, hey-nonny-no / He gave them all to the man with the ax-oh...

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King Charles I: Wait a minute - that voice has a familiar ring! And so does that finger!

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Edmund Blackadder: Sire, this is a matter of life and death!

King Charles I: Nonsense Blackadder, I don't think there is a jury in England that would bring in a verdict of guilty against me.

[knocking, a guard enters]

Guard: Your majesty, the verdict of the jury.

[hands Blackadder a document and exits]

King Charles I: So, what does it say? Guilty or not guilty?

Edmund Blackadder: [reads the document] I'll give you two guesses.

King Charles I: Not guilty.

Edmund Blackadder: One more guess.

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[a man concealed in a brown robe reveals himself]

King Charles I: Blackadder, you're disguised as a priest! How dangerously stupid and perverted. It's just like school!

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Edmund Blackadder: Your head is as empty as a eunuch's underpants.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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