[
In an English restaurant in India. Ordering some food]
Indian man 1:
. For starter we shall have 6... no 12 bread rolls. For main course everybody?
Indian Man 2:
What's the blandest thing on the menu?
James the Waiter:
The scampi's our specialty sir.
Indian Man 2:
I'll have that.
Aubergine-Woman:
I can make it at home for nothing!
Resturant-guy:
Check please...
Hip Hop geezer 1:
Kiss my chuddies, man!
Dennis Cooper:
I knew that!
[
a Buddhist, from Rat Killing Company, comes home to a woman to get rid of her mice, but instead he sits down on the floor and closes his eyes]
Woman:
So what do you use then; poison?
Buddhist:
Poison - no poison.
Woman:
Oh, you are going to smoke them out.
Buddhist:
Smoke - no smoke.
Woman:
Then how are you going to kill them?
Biddhist:
Kill? Buddha teaches us, that we are all clever human beings. We don't have to kill.
Woman:
Well, how are you going to get rid of them then?
Buddhist:
I intend to make them think about their actions.
[
Rings on a door]
The Guru Maharishi Yogi:
Hello, do you want to be a Hindu?
Woman:
Yes, I have always wanted to become a Hindu.
The Guru Maharishi Yogi:
Well, you can't! Have a nice day!
Dennis Cooper:
Oyeeeee Surjeeeeet!
Butler:
May I take your hat, sir?
Dennis Cooper:
No, buy your own.
[
talking to an elderly, ethnic man in a crowded place outdoors]
Reporter:
How would you describe the condition in the refugee camp?
Mr. Isaq:
What refugee camp?
Reporter:
Well, *this* refugee camp.
Mr. Isaq:
This is my family picnic.
Meena, Beena:
In your dreams, Buddy!
Meena, Beena:
As if!
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