Lord of Misrule (1996 TV Movie)
Emma: Get someone else to make your mind up for you and you'll know at once if you're right or wrong.
[Emma has just arrived in an open-top yellow VW Beetle; Bill looks out of the window at it]
Bill Webster: Is that your car out there? You look like something out of a tampon ad.
[Bill looks at a framed photograph of himself in ceremonial regalia standing next to the Queen]
Bill Webster: I rather think I had the nicer frock, don't you?
Ethel: [to Emma] One more year as Lord Chancellor and he'd have got to keep the wig.
[Arthur and Tim are in their fishing boat]
Tim: We've got something all snarled up in the nets.
Arthur: If it's another of those damn tourists, we're throwing the bugger back - too much bloody paperwork.
[Bill is phoning his friends, begging to borrow some money from them; they all come up with excuses or tell him to sod off]
Bill Webster: [to Emma] If you want to get rid of someone, d'you know what you do? Lend them some money and you'll never ever hear from them again.
[the Prime Minister and a journalist are wrestling in a duckpond in Bill Webster's garden, fighting each other to take possession of a briefcase containing a bribe. Shirley appears at Bill's side]
Bill Webster: Shirley!
Emma: Aren't you...?
Shirley: I'll kiss babies for my party. I'll admire pigs. I'll even be nice to Michael Portillo. But I draw the line at mud wrestling.
Bill Webster: Do you remember, during the Thatcher-Heath contest, when we were in bed, back at your place, with a magnum of champagne, going at it hammer and tongs, when who should ring but dear old Brian Redhead to do your radio interview. You did very well, considering.
Shirley: Probably the only in-flagrante radio interview in the history of politics.
Bill Webster: Actually no. *I* did one during the Callaghan vote of confidence. I came like the clappers just as I was saying the words "Margaret Thatcher". Wrecked my sex-life for years.