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Fallout: A Post-Nuclear Role-Playing Game (Video Game 1997) Poster

Quotes

Narrator: War... War never changes.

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Harold: Where were the mutants coming from?

Vault Dweller: Everywhere! Hell, seemed like you couldn't fart without hitting one. But mostly in the northwest.

Vault Dweller: You farted Northwest?

Harold: [laughs] Pretty good... Noo...

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Set: Your presence means?

Vault Dweller: Ran out of butt to kick and thought of your face.

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Kane: I've heard of you. You're the one that took out Gizmo over in Junktown. Killian must have paid you a good sum for that job. Are you here for some work, maybe?

Vault Dweller: Work for this dump? You've got to be joking.

Kane: I hope for your sake that was an attempt at humor. Do not cross us, you will regret it.

Vault Dweller: Yeah, Whatever, tough guy.

Kane: I don't think you understood me. Let me clarify. If you don't watch your manners, you'll find yourself dead, tough guy.

Vault Dweller: No, let me clarify - if you don't watch it, I'll be wearing your ass for a shoe.

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Thug: Ever dance with the devil in the pail moonlight?

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Thug: What do you want?

Vault Dweller: To see a valley filled with my enemies' heads mounted on spears. A silent valley, except for the wind whistling through their ears.

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The Master: The Unity will bring above the master race. Master Master! One able to survive, or even thrive, in the wasteland. As long as there will be differences, we will tear ourselves apart fighting each other. We need one race! Race! Race! One goal! Goal! Goal! One people... to move forward to our destiny. Destiny.

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Vault Dweller: How did you survive?

Harold: Didn't. Got killed...

[laughs then coughs]

Harold: God, I love that joke.

Vault Dweller: Yeah, I can tell.

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The Master: You think you can destroy me destroy me?

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Mayor Killian Darkwater: Now what the Uncle Sam-hell do you think you're doing here?

Vault Dweller: Oh, this is your place?

Mayor Killian Darkwater: You're damn straight this is my place! Now get the hell out before I make your head a wall decoration!

Vault Dweller: You? Wake up, pal, you're still dreaming.

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The Lieutenant: Oh this is excellent you know I actually doubted my officers when they said they'd captured a prime normal it is so nice to see you.

Vault Dweller: Go to hell!

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Set: There better be a killer reason for you standing in my shadow normie does next on the menu ring a bell?

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Mayor Killian Darkwater: The name's Killian. Killian Darkwater. I'm the mayor of this fine town. And who might you be?

Vault Dweller: What's it to you?

Mayor Killian Darkwater: Oh, you obviously have me confused with someone who has to take your lip. Why don't you come back when your mama teaches you some manners.

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Vault Dweller: You mean kill them?

Decker: All a matter of semantics, but yes kill them.

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Vault Dweller: Wow, you're pretty smart for a ghoul.

Set: What is that? Sucking up? Listen, walker, I don't do the deal with norms, so blowing smoke up the tail ain't going to get you head seat at the table.

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Brotherhood Paladin: I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum I'm all out of gum.

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Gizmo: Get your butt in here and sit down. We have some buisness to discuss

Vault Dweller: Looks like there's enough butt in here already...

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Vinne: We are the one and only Junktown gang. We have the run of the streets, and we rule the streets at night.

Vault Dweller: You couldn't run the schoolyard, Chromo

Vinne: What? You'll pay for that remark!

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Vault Dweller: Who are doing here? And what is this place?

Kalnor: What does it look like? I'm a guard and I'm keeping an eye out for strangers like you. And this place is called Junktown. Hey dont laugh. I happen to like the name myself. We mostly do trading. Sometimes we trade with those stuck up bastards from the Hub. Hey, you're not from the Hub are you?

Vault Dweller: What? The Hub? Sure I am!

Kalnor: Then you must know most of the rules. Have a good day. And I'm sorry about the bastards past,OK.

Vault Dweller: It's gonna cause me some severe mental trauma. Later.

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Father Lasher: I know who you are. You are walking death, a plague in human form. Where you step, blood flows like a river. But such iniquities can be ended by a righteous soul!

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Father Lasher: How dare you enter my sanctuary with a weapon in your hand! Oaf! Get out!

Vault Dweller: You don't like drawn weapons? You're gonna hate what I do with it next!

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Leon: I don't like your attitude. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Vault Dweller: Attitude? I'l show you attitude!

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Lorenzo: Well, if it isn't a potential customer! I'm Lorenzo the Munificent, at your service. I give out loans. Only ten percent daily interest, a maximum of ten days to repay. You won't find a more generous lending institution anywhere in the Hub!

Vault Dweller: You sound like a rip-off artist to me!

Lorenzo: Guido, Leone, why don't you show him what ripping off really means. Start with his arms.

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Gretch: Me have trouble thinking, too... what we talk about?

Vault Dweller: We were talking about how stupid you are.

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Father Lasher: I instruct the children. It is my duty. All children are wicked beasts. It is my duty to force them into evolve into human beings. Perhaps you have heard that I do not tolerate frivolity. This is true. I want my charges to suffer as much as possible.

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Vault Dweller: Once more into the breach, my friend.

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Ian: Hello, stranger. You look like you're new here. What's your name?

Vault Dweller: My name's not important.

Ian: Well, then, neither are you.

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Gizmo: What the hell do you think you're doing? Izo tear his arms off!

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Narrator: Life in the vault is about to change.

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Vinne: You want to join us, huh? How do we know you're tough enough to be a Skul?

Vault Dweller: Trust me, I'm tough enough.

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Butch: What do you want?

Vault Dweller: I need to ask you a few questions.

Butch: Time is money. Chit-chat is not money. You here about the job or what?

Vault Dweller: Here for the what or the money?

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Tandi: Hi! I was afraid that you were gone and I wasn't going to get a chance to thank you for rescuing me. Aw! That was great! Action, adventure... Anyway, if there's anything that I can do for you, you just ask.

Vault Dweller: How about you and I... well, you know... get together.

Tandi: I'm not that kind of girl, mister. Go find a Brahma or something.

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Thug: Ride my bullet son!

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Child with an attitude: What in the hell do you want?

Vault Dweller: Who's in charge here!

Child with an attitude: Sure as hell ain't you punk.

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Child with an attitude: What in the hell do you want?

Vault Dweller: Where might I find the master?

Child with an attitude: In hell loser.

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Harold: Spare change, old friend, old pal? Can you help a poor mutant down on his luck?

[cough]

Vault Dweller: Keep away from me!

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Harold: Well, I was a trader. Did pretty good making a circuit between survivors. Lost a lotta good people, though.

[coughs]

Vault Dweller: How?

Harold: Gangers got'em. Scavengers attacking the caravans. And mutants, son of a dog, if they weren't springing up like rabbits with a mission.

[cough]

Harold: Had to have an army of guards with, just to do a deal.

Vault Dweller: Didn't the guards help?

Harold: Course they helped, ya bonehead! Just too damn many to handle!

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Loxley: Quite pleased to make your acquaintance actually... for now. Let's get the other bit of politeness taken care of, shall we? What the bloody, bloody, bloody hell are you doing here!

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Vault Dweller: You talk like an idiot.

Loxley: It's a little gift from me Da and Mum. Actually, a few generations before that. Do you like it?

Vault Dweller: No, it hurts my ears

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Nightkin: Leave me or die!

Vault Dweller: I just wanted to compliment you on the great looking hump on your back. Your breath could use some work, though...

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Child with an attitude: Get out of my face, you son of a bitch!

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Vault Dweller: So what do you want me to do?

Butch: Simple. Find out who's doing it, and tell me. Or take 'em out. It makes no damn difference to me. Just get that job done!

Vault Dweller: Any clues on who's doing this?

Butch: Well there's uh... something, but I never listen to those rumors.

Vault Dweller: Well, I do. What is it?

Butch: You uh... you really want to hear it, huh? Well, some say it's the Death Claw, but... but I don't know nothin' about that.

Vault Dweller: You sound scared.

Butch: Listen you, I ain't scared. I'm... cautious. You'd be stupid not to be, with the Death Claw. Go talk to Beth, she'll tell ya more.

Vault Dweller: Yep, you're as scared as a whipped dog.

Butch: I'm tired of your insults you... you pinhead! Don't come back! Rutger, take this annoying bug away!

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Vault Dweller: Well, I found out who's taking the caravans.

Butch: Really? Who?

Vault Dweller: It's these big mutant guys.

Butch: What, do I look a crate shy of a load? Did you even see the Death Claw?

Vault Dweller: Been there, saw that, killed it.

Butch: You... you killed it? Well... I uh... um... uh, where did these mutants come from?

Vault Dweller: I don't know yet. But they have an outpost in the mountains.

Butch: An outpost? Well... um... well uh. I'll have to talk to the Committee. Yeah... yeah, they'll know what to do. Done and done. Get out, 'cause I got stuff to do... okay?

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Vault Dweller: What do you want with me?

The Lieutenant: The mind simply boggles at your intellect. Why the legions haven't bowed down at your feet by now, I'll never understand. Guards, take this idiot away!

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The Lieutenant: Ah, I feel much better. And you?... Now, be a good little human and tell me where your Vault is. This is getting most tedious.

Vault Dweller: Go to hell.

The Lieutenant: I do so admire your will. Guards, take him back to his cell and get him ready for dipping. He'll tell us where his Vault is when he is one of us.

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Brahmin: Moo, I say.

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Harry: Hey! You not look like ghoul. How come?

Vault Dweller: Let me guess... because I'm not a ghoul?

Harry: You not ghoul! I knew, I knew! Not fool Harry!

Vault Dweller: You're right. And now that you know, I'll have to kill you.

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Harry: Lou tell me watch place. Not let no one in. Not normals most. Take normals to the Lou. Hey...

Vault Dweller: But I'm not a normal!

Harry: Ooo... Harry confused. You not ghoul. You not normal. Hmm, what you?

[Mumbling]

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Lars: Can I help you stranger?

Vault Dweller: Can you give me the big picture on Junktown?

Lars: Me and my men work for Killian Darkwater. We keep some order in this town, dealing with all kinds of the murderers, thieves, and other scumbags who come in from the desert. If you want my advice, you'll also stay away from Gizmo. That fathead runs a crooked operation, but we just haven't been able to prove anything. He and his lockeyes the Skulz, are going to take the fall sometime soon, if Killian has anything to say about it.

Vault Dweller: What a bummer, No fun here at all.

Lars: Look, buddy my job here is to keep the peace, and if I have to break a few heads to do it, then a few people are going to be hurting. So just watch it.

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Mayor Killian Darkwater: Listen thanks for saving my life. It's a mighty brave thing to do. Looks like we got ourselves a situation here. I know Gizmo's behind this, but I need proof. You interested in helpin'?

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Gizmo: What do you want? I'm a busy man.

Vault Dweller: I'm here to talk about the attempt on Killian's life.

Gizmo: I don't know what you're talking about.

Vault Dweller: You're a liar!

Gizmo: You know

[Gizmo Sighs]

Gizmo: I don't like it when people insult me in my own place. Izo, escort our guest out... through the window.

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Harry: Harry think he beat your head now.

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Flower Child: Would you like a flower mister?

Vault Dweller: Sure, I could get off on stomping it to pieces!

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Kane: Yeah, what do you want? It better be good.

Vault Dweller: Do you run this joint?

Kane: No.

Vault Dweller: Nice answer moron. Who's in charge?

Kane: Do you have any idea who you are talking to? For your sake I hope not, I don't 'run' the Maltese Falcon but I AM the one in charge. What do you want before I lose my temper?

Vault Dweller: I know who you are and trust me, you 'are' a moron.

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Vault Dweller: Sir, you are injured. I can treat you if you wish. I am a healer

Vault Dweller: How Much?

Thorndyke: I am a healer, not a money lender. The cathedral sees to my needs. So I might see to the needs of others. Now let me see your injury, shall we?

Vault Dweller: Forget it. If you were any more of a quack, you'd be swimming in a pond.

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Darren Hightower: Who are you? And who let you in?

Vault Dweller: I have a message from a friend.

Darren Hightower: I have no friends. What is your message?

Vault Dweller: Um... Bob sent me... oh... he said you overpaid him 100 caps and sent me to give it to you.

Darren Hightower: I don't know any Bob, but I'll take the 100 caps and you can leave.

Vault Dweller: Uhh... That *bastard* Bob didn't give me enough caps! I'll get 'em for you Mr. Hightower, honest I will!

Darren Hightower: Leon, show this fool the door! Come back again, and my guards will have your head!

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Katja: You're not from around here. Who're you?

Vault Dweller: I might ask the same of you.

Katja: You might, but you're on my home turf, not vice-versa. So put up or shut up.

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Ian: I may not be a very good fighter any more, but I'm good enough to best the likes of you!

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Tycho: Whoa, not so fast. We never finished introductions, remember? What's your name, stranger?

Vault Dweller: None of your business, you nut.

Tycho: Now, now, no need to get impolite. But with that attitude you'd best be on your way.

Vault Dweller: Bite me.

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Gizmo: Thousand caps. No more, no less.

Vault Dweller: You call that a reward? If I'm to whack the guy, I'm going to need more than that.

Gizmo: [Gizmo laughs and coughs] Maybe you're right. I think you're worth more. 1500.

Vault Dweller: That's about what, a dollar a pound for you? Forget it.

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Gizmo: You don't leave town, you end up under it. You got me?

Vault Dweller: Who's going to do that? You? You couldn't get off your fat butt to get a sandwich, much less kill me.

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Mayor Killian Darkwater: So, did you get the evidence?

Vault Dweller: I sure did.

Mayor Killian Darkwater: Which, bug or tape?

Mayor Killian Darkwater: That's the first time I've been happy to hear his voice. Thanks, friend. Now, time for you and me to take care of the other business.

Mayor Killian Darkwater: Well, thanks again. Oh, listen, I'm gonna take the guards and run Gizmo and his cronies out of town. I could use another gun. You up for it? Might be good for a laugh.

Vault Dweller: Sure. It'll be worth it just to see him try to walk more than ten feet.

Mayor Killian Darkwater: Go to Lars at the guard station. He'll fill you in. And listen, this town owes you... a lot.

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Overseer: Ahh, you're here. Good. We've got a problem. A big one. The controller chip for our water purification system has given up the ghost. Can't make another one and the process is too complicated for a work around system. Simply put, we're running out of drinking water. No water, no Vault. This is crucial to our survival. And frankly, I... I think you're the only hope we have. You need to go find us another controller chip. We estimate we have four to five months before the Vault runs out of water. We need that chip. We marked your map with the location of another Vault. Not a bad place to start I think. Look, just be safe, OK?

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Children of the Cathedral Guard: What do you want?

Vault Dweller: What's this place about?

Children of the Cathedral Guard: Something called a Holy Flame. Don't listen to this bullshit it will rot your brain!

Vault Dweller: Man, are these people ever stupid!

Children of the Cathedral Guard: Yeah. It's a good thing they aren't paying me to agree with them Holy Flame. My ass!

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Harold: Spare change, old friend, old pal? Can you help a poor mutant down on his luck?

[cough]

Vault Dweller: Yeah, here's a $25. Good luck to you

Harold: Oh, kind of ya friend. Very kind. You know, if I could clear the gunk out of there, you just might find a tear in Old Harold's eye.

Vault Dweller: Why is that?

Harold: [cough] Rest of the Hubber's been picking on me like a bad booger since I came to town. I can't leave, though. When the deals are done

[wheez]

Harold: it's still my home.

Vault Dweller: Who are the Hubbers?

Harold: You're in the Hub, right? People who live in the Hub? Hubbers. Get it?

[cough]

Harold: Sheesh! Thanks for the help and good luck... think you're gonna need it.

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Kalnor: You'd better put that away. Junktown is a friendly place, friend, and we want to keep it that way.

Vault Dweller: Put what away?

Kalnor: Your weapon, idiot. Killian won't take your arms away, but you'd better damn well keep them in your holster.

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Kalnor: This is Junktown. Nice place to live, as long as you stay on our good side.

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Vault Dweller: You seem well educated. What are you doing here?

Razlo: Doc Morbid in Junktown taught me some. And just because we live in stone huts, does not mean we are less intelligent or educated. Have a nice day.

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Vault Dweller: So where is this Master?

The Lieutenant: He's busy with the Children of the Cathedral. They actually consider us gods. But then, who can blame them.

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Vault Dweller: So what's the quest?

Cabbot: You have to go to the ruins of the Ancient Order. That's south of here. Uh, you've gotta go inside and bring back something that proves that you were there.

Vault Dweller: No way in hell.

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The Lieutenant: Now what do we have here? I've been told you wish to divulge information of the utmost importance. I do hope so.

Vault Dweller: On one condition.

The Lieutenant: Conditions? How delightful. Go ahead, amuse me with your... condition.

Vault Dweller: Put a bag over your head so I can stand being in your presence.

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Vault Dweller: I can't win. I'll join you.

The Master: Excellent. Your talents will be useful. But first, you must tell me everything about your Vault.

Vault Dweller: Why?

The Master: I will conquer it and turn all those pure strain humans into mutants. They will give me the army I need to bring peace to the entire wasteland.

Vault Dweller: Sorry, I don't like that plan much.

The Master: So be it. You've dug your own grave. Grave! Grave!

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Dane: Master! I shouldn't have said anything. I heard the Nightkin crying an felt sorry for it.

Dane: What is evil? Evil is when good gets completely screwed up! Evil is when brave people can't be brave anymore! Evil is an anagram of vile! There's got to be a moral standard somewhere!

Dane: Shut up, asshole! Moral standards? It sure as hell ain't here!

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Vault Dweller: Who is the master?

Dane: You know, the Nightkin say that he is uglier than they are. That must mean he is one hideous son of a bitch

Dane: He's the man! The man with the plan! He plans because he loves us! And if the world gets his way, screw it! Because that's what love is all about.

Dane: Love is what makes the Cactus grow! Love is what makes the brahmin moo! Love is screwing, it's screwing your life! I hate love, I love hate! If the Master hated us, we'd be allright!

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Vault Dweller: I would like to give your master a bit of information about my vault.

Morpheus: I do not have a master, you imbecile!

Vault Dweller: Then what do you call the master? Doesn't he control you?

Morpheus: No one controls me. He and I are... partners.

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Set: I am Set. Why do you tread my shadow?

Vault Dweller: I am the bringer of death. Fall to your knees and beg for mercy... Or give me a sandwich, I'm pretty hungry.

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Tandi: Well... how do you like our little town? Bored yet?

Vault Dweller: Hell yes, there's nothing to do here but watch the brahmin mate.

Tandi: Finally! Someone else who sees! Of course, you've probably been everywhere, so this must be hell for you.

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Harold: A robot crane crashed into us. Last I saw of Grey, he was flying through the air into some sort of acid bath. I was in bad shape and... well I passed out.

Vault Dweller: And you never saw Grey again?

Harold: No, you idiot. I just told you I never saw him again didn't I?

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Jain: Why do you disturb an elder of the cathedral?

Vault Dweller: I'm interested in your church, and I want some information. Do you have any pamphlets?

Jain: Continue to mock me and I will have you thrown out.

Vault Dweller: It's obvious that kindness and good temper aren't part of this religion.

Jain: You will pay for those heretical words.

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Jain: Are you a child?

Vault Dweller: Lady, do I look that young to you?

Jain: Mocking our holy cause is not appreciated. You will be punished if you continue.

Vault Dweller: And who's going to do the punishing? Ooh, I'd like to request the extra hard whip, if you don't mind.

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Vault Dweller: I'm cleansing the world of all that is evil!

Kane: That's quite nice of you, but 'evil' is very subjective. What or who you might consider to be evil could very well be the opposite to someone else.

Vault Dweller: That's ridiculous. What's evil is evil. Anyone who says otherwise is just stupid.

Kane: A blind fanatic is a dangerous person indeed. I hope your stay here in the hub is not long. We don't take kindly to murders that aren't auth... to murders of any sort. Good day.

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Vault Dweller: What's up with these cathedral guys?

Children of the Cathedral Guard: I been trying to get a good read on these guys for weeks. At first I thought they were fools, but now... I ain't so sure. They're organized, and they've got a plan. I can smell it!

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Children of the Cathedral Guard: What do you want?

Vault Dweller: You wouldn't know where I could find a water chip?

Children of the Cathedral Guard: Water chip? Do you mean like ice chips? Up in the mountains, maybe.

Vault Dweller: Not that kind of chip, you moron!

Children of the Cathedral Guard: Watch your mouth, asshole. These people may believe in peace and love, but I don't.

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Vault Dweller: Are you the leader of this gang?

Razor: Gang? We're hardly a gang. But I am the leader here.

Vault Dweller: Well, you look like a gang to me.

Razor: I wish we were a gang. At least then we'd have decent weapons to defend ourselves with.

Vault Dweller: Well, you're not foolin' me. You're all just a bunch of degenerates and I think you're up to no good.

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Avellone: What do you want?

Vault Dweller: A doughnut.

Avellone: We don't appreciate wise guys here. Buzz off

Avellone: What do you want?

Vault Dweller: A doughnut.

Avellone: That joke wasn't even funny the first time. You're about to discover why I'm one of the most fearsome bounty hunters in the wasteland. And I won't even get paid for it.

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Vault Dweller: I don't like your attitude, old man

Jon: I might just ignore that remark if you've come here to solve my problem for me.

Vault Dweller: What, that you're old and stupid?

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Vault Dweller: What is the Brotherhood of Steel all about anyway?

Darrel: The Brotherhood is a collective if men and women who have dedicated their lives to the preservation of technology.

Vault Dweller: I've heard that you people sacrifice puppies.

Darrel: Sacrifice puppies! Where the hell did you hear that one? Don't believe everything you hear in the wastes they're all a bunch of pathetic lunatics.

Vault Dweller: Everyone is a lunatic outside the Brotherhood of Steel?

Darrel: Yes... a... well... a... No. It's just people don't even try to understand what we're all about.

Vault Dweller: Well?... I think you guys might be a little kookie myself.

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Nichole: Greetings. Hey! We're very glad you could join us. We hope that you have found our humble abode to your satisfaction.

Vault Dweller: 'Humble' is a good word. 'Dump' would be better.

Nichole: Hey! I don't appreciate that, but I'll overlook it if you apologize.

Vault Dweller: I'm sorry I ever talked to you.

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Ian: [On vault 13] Heard about some of these places before, but never been in one. Seems nice and clean... a little too clean for my taste.

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Vault Dweller: You don't look like much of a fighter.

Rhombus: Insolent pup. Apologize now and you'll not be hurt.

Vault Dweller: What, by you?

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Leon: Each one of these marks is for a past attempt on Hightower's life. I bagged each and ever one of them. Tell me... do you know what this fool Decker hired looks like?

Vault Dweller: No

Leon: Thank you for the advance warning, but Mr. Hightower dosen't like strangers hangin' around. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Vault Dweller: That's it? No reward? What the hell is wrong with you people?

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Gizmo: So it comes down to this, Killian. Well, I never could put up with your stink, and now I'm gonna put an end to it!

Mayor Killian Darkwater: I'm here to take you in, Gizmo. This time, I've got the proof I need.

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Decker: So. You're looking for a job. How fortunate, I have one that needs doing. Ahh, but where are my manners? Whats your name?

Vault Dweller: What buisness is it of yours?

Decker: Everything is my buisness in the Hub. Either tell me, or you may leave.

Vault Dweller: I'm not telling you anything.

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Vault Dweller: Your life is in danger, and I need to speak with you.

Darren Hightower: Tell me something I don't know , you moron!

Vault Dweller: Moron? I was trying to help you. You can go to Hell.

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Vault Dweller: Of course. But fist I need to know why you want him dead.

Gizmo: Huh. That's easy. I want him dead because he cramps my buisness. So, will you do him for me?

Vault Dweller: Could you say that again please... this time in my coat pocket?

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Vault Dweller: What's there to do around here?

Mayor Killian Darkwater: Oh, we go tons to do. The Skum Pitt's on the east side, by the enterance. Great drinkin' place. Gizmo's is near there. And if your hurtin', Doc Morbid's your man.

Vault Dweller: That's all there is to do around here?

Mayor Killian Darkwater: Well, if we're too fast for ya, just pass on by, pal. It is pal, ain't it?

Vault Dweller: Then there won't be anything exciting in town.

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Overseer: You're back! And in one piece! How goes the search?

Vault Dweller: Not good, but I noticed the radiation count is low. Why don't we just move the people out of the vault?

Overseer: We've debated this before. You ought to know now, after being out there! You think the rest of us could survive that? Besides, I'd be out of a job! I'm management! It's not like I know how to do anything useful!

Vault Dweller: We agree on that.

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Vault Dweller: Who are the Elders?

Maxson: Well you see there's four of them and that's about all they can ever agree on. They can't even agree if they want to piss, much less pick a pot to piss in.

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Vault Dweller: Could you tell me about the Brotherhood's history.

Sophia: Well, it's good to see someone interested in our great history. Unlike other around here. Here you go. This is a disk of some of our earliest writings.

Vault Dweller: I don't care about this crap. Thank's for nothing.

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Billy: Brahmin sure do shi... uh, poop a lot.

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Vault Dweller: Heard any good rumors?

Rhombus: I do not put stock in rumors?

Vault Dweller: Oh, come on, just one? Please?

Rhombus: No.

Vault Dweller: Oh come on, pretty please?

Rhombus: o you not hear? I will not say it again!

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Paladin: Some members of the Brotherhood might be offended if a stranger... I mean, a new Initiate... approaches them with a weapon.

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George: Can I help you?

Vault Dweller: Yes. I'm here to see Mr. Hightower.

George: Mr. Hightower dosen't see just anyone.

Vault Dweller: I'm not just anyone, you idiot!

George: Ok. Go on in.

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Vault Dweller: What do you do here?

Saul: [Saul laughs heartily] . Why, I am a boxer!

Vault Dweller: Ah, I could kick your ass.

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Shark: You again? Geez, some people just don't learn!

Vault Dweller: Just stopped in for a quick drink.

Shark: Not a bad idea. Think I'll have one myself. OF course, you always have to wash a beer down with some bloodshed!

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The Lieutenant: Ah, I feel muh better. And you?... Now, be a good little human and tell me where your Vault is. This is getting most tedious.

Vault Dweller: Go to hell.

The Lieutenant: I do so admire your will. Guards, take him to his cell and prepare him for the dipping. He'll tell us where his Vault is when he is one of us.

Vault Dweller: If you're so sure I'll tell after dipping, then why all of this?

The Lieutenant: Well, you see, there is this minor drawback. Sometimes, not always, a person's memory is, um... how shall we say, interrupted by dipping. SO there is a small chance you'll forget the location.

Vault Dweller: Looks like we're both screwed.

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Crazed Raider: That's it! Don't come any closer. I'll off her. I swear.

Vault Dweller: There is no need for violence. Let's talk about this.

Crazed Raider: What world do you live in? Out here in the real would, blood flows, man. Blood flows, and it's gonna spill all over this room if you don't get out of here.

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Leon: Mr. Hightower is not taking any visitors. Now leave!

Vault Dweller: I really need to speak to Mr. Hightower.

Leon: Whatever it is, you can tell me. Mr. H is busy right now.

Vault Dweller: I would much rather tell him in person. It's a matter of life and death.

Leon: You can tell me, or you can leave.

Vault Dweller: Look, I'm not tellin' you a damn thing!

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Shark: Hey, fresh bait! So, what brings you in to our territory, chum? Here for a little fun? At your expense, of course.

Vault Dweller: Just stopped by for a drink and some... entertainment.

Shark: Well, fo this evening's entertainment, we've decided to thrash this place! Heh. Grab what you can carry and let's see some blood run, eh?

Vault Dweller: Nah, I'd rather have something to eat... perhaps grilled shark!

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Sinthia: Thank you for what you did. No one ever took care of me like that before.

Vault Dweller: I can really take care of you later.

Sinthia: Is that all you can think about? Geez. Some people.

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Vault Dweller: Who's in charge of this hole?

Paladin: Hole? How dare you talk like that about the Brotherhood. You are a member of our order now, and should be proud to be a member of the Brotherhood of Steel.

Vault Dweller: Proud? Why? You're all just a bunch of robotic hop-heads, hiding from the real world. There's nothing to be pround of there.

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Sophia: I have not seen you around here before, are you lost? May I be of service?

Vault Dweller: If I was lost I would' be asking an idiot like you for help!

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Skul Gang Member: You bitch!

[Punches Trish she falls to the ground]

Skul Gang Member: .

Trish: [Gets up and runs] Oh! Saul, where are you?

Neal: [Pulls out gun and shoots and kills Skul Gang Member] Get the hell outta here you goddamn punks! If any of ya ever touch her again I'll kill the whole lot o' ya!

Shark: We'll be back, old man. This isn't over.

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Vault Dweller: New blood. Heh. Heh Heh.

Vault Dweller: You're not a very happy person, are you?

Victor: Why do you say that? I'm quite happy. I'm very happy because there are lots of things that bleed.

Vault Dweller: You're a real sicko, you know that?

Victor: Don't say that! My mother said that! I'll make you pay! I'm a good boy, right mommy?

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Demetre: Hey there! How are you doin'? The name's Demetre, Demetre Romara, head of the best damn caravan in the wastes. Are you lookin' for a job? Damn! You look like you could lift a mountain!

Vault Dweller: What's it to you?

Demetre: That's just what we're lookin' for! You like the thrill and excitement of battle don't you? Bullets flying everywhere, whippin' by your head, blowin' your enemy in two, seein' the fear in their eyes! Ahhhh, that's the life! You look like the kind of person that could serve us well, and we pay well! Oh yes, we do! We've just had a few new openin's, if you are interested; but of course you are, right?

Vault Dweller: What's the pay?

Demetre: We pay 600 hub bucks a job! That's each way! Hell, people say we take all the dangerous routes but I say they're the most excitiin'! You need a little excitement in your life, am I right? Of course I am!

Vault Dweller: Do you always talk so loud?

Demetre: What, are you afraid of loud noises or somethin'?

Vault Dweller: No, but my ears were getting a little sore.

Demetre: You're a smart little ass, are you? Well, it dosen't matter to me! Just as long as you defend the caravans I'll be satisfied. Go talk to Keri in the next room if you want a job.

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Guido: I say you just use brute force. It don't take that much to bust a knee cap.

Leone: Give me a break. Anyone can bust a knee or break fingers. It just don't have the shock people like is used to.

Guido: Who cares about shock value? We ain't artists we're professionals. Uh, Leone, someone's trying to talk to us. Aren't we supposed to kill them if they do that?

Leone: Not until the boss says so. Just ignore him and he'll go away.

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Gwen: I am Gwen. I'm one of Garl's advisors. Who are you?

Vault Dweller: I am the one who will sweep you off your feet, honey.

Gwen: If that is the best you can do, then I will be doing the world a favor by killing you.

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Vault Dweller: Uh, what service's do you offer, exactly?

Dan: Why, I manage the care for perddy much all of the Caravan's wagons and Brahmin in these parts. If they ever need anything for their caravans, I'm the one they talk to. Hell, the Big Three Deal with me exclusively.

Vault Dweller: Who are the Big Three?

Dan: Damn, son. Have ya' been locked up all yer life in a cave or somethin'? The Big Three are the three largest Merchant groups in the world. Well, okay, maybe not the world, but they sure as hell cover a large portion; 'bout as far as yer eye can see.

Vault Dweller: Damn yourself, you brahmin freak.

Dan: Brahmin freak? Is that an attempt at insult'n me? I would be a little more polite to he people ya' meet stranger. I could care less, but this city is filled with all sorts of cutthroats that wouldn't hesitate to slit yer throat if ya look at'm wrong.

Vault Dweller: Damn, you're one ugly son of a bitch!

Dan: Well at least I don't have a mutated hind for a face. Yer mother must have been a brahmin and yer daddy a ra; that's the only way ya' could have come out so damn ugly. Hell yer uglier than me!

Vault Dweller: No one talks about my mother like that! Prepare to die!

Dan: Yeah right, that's an okay line, but everyone uses it. Yer kiddin' right? Ya' wouldn't lay a hand on poor ol' Dan.

Vault Dweller: Line? Hand? You wish. I'll lay much more than my hand on your soon to be dead carcass.

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Vault Dweller: I have a crime to report!

Deputy Fry: Really? I, uh, you should talk to the Sheriff. I can't leave my post right now. I've got to... uh, fend off raiders that might come. Plus, I'm not very good with reports.

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Vault Dweller: Does the Master really want peace or does he just want killing?

Ton: Who cares? I get to eat well, sleep in peace and kill some of the people who used to screw me over. You want something more from life?

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Vault Dweller: I want sex and violence, without the sex. You know where I can get it?

Ton: You talk to Morpheus or to Lasher, or you can bother Ton, and Ton give you more violence than you can handle.

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Vault Dweller: What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

Laura: Uh heh... Waiting desperately for someone to use that pathetic line on me.

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Sinthia: Hey darling, how are you doing?

Vault Dweller: Just fine, but I could be better.

Sinthia: Maybe I can help you with that.

Vault Dweller: I woudn't let my dog touch you.

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Vault Dweller: I am looking for a water chip.

Miss Stapelton: Well, in my studies I have come across some references to such things. Actually I have in my possession a Holodisk that contains a certain amount of information that you might find useful.

Vault Dweller: Can I have the Holodisk?

Miss Stapelton: Information is hard to come by in this day and age. I will need to charge you 750 Hub bucks for the disk.

Vault Dweller: How about I take a blowtorch to this whole place instead! Huh lady?

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Gizmo: Did ya finish the job yet?

Vault Dweller: Yep, sure did.

Gizmo: Then give me the dog tags.

Vault Dweller: What if I don't want to give them to you?

Gizmo: No problem, I take them off your dead body.

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Vault Dweller: Anything you know about Water Chips that you can tell me?

Lemmy: So, you think I might know a little more about those Water Chip things huh? Well, you might be right. It's gonna' cost you, though. I think 500 bottle caps oughta' do it.

Vault Dweller: I think you need to tell me, right now, and without the freakin' caps!

Lemmy: Ok, Ok, Ok, see I was just kidding about paying for the info. Good joke, huh?

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Ian: [On Seth] Seth is the captain of the guards. Between you and me, he couldn't guard a fruit if it was nailed to his leg.

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Ian: [On Necropolis] This place gives me the creeps.

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Vault Dweller: Excuse me while I gloat...

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Overseer: There is a bad place where the bad mutants come from. It is bad. Vault is good. Please, go destroy bad place.

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Alya: I am Alya of the Khans. How might I help you today?

Vault Dweller: Why has your band of raiders attacked Shady Sands?

Alya: We do not attack those of Shady Sands. We are from the same place they are. It is only right that they share with us!

Vault Dweller: But you are hurting their livestock and terrifying them.

Alya: You sound just as wimpy as they are. Look, if they were in any trouble of starvation, then it is their fault for not planning ahead. Consider what we do a trade in talents.

Vault Dweller: A trade in talents? How can this be a trade in talents? You don't give them anything.

Vault Dweller: We give them the most important thing possible. We give their dreary lives excitement.

Vault Dweller: I think I will make their lives boring again. I'll start with you!

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Katja: [on The Glow] Wow. I wish I had a hot dog and a really long stick.

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Darrel: Greetings, and welcome to the Brotherhood of Steel.

Vault Dweller: Do you know where I can find a Water Chip?

Darrel: No... I never even heard of one of those. One of our head scribes may know. Maybe you can ask one of them. That is if you join us.

Vault Dweller: You guys don't know jack.

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Zark: You got something to say, say it fast.

Vault Dweller: I want to speak with whoever's in charge here.

Zark: That's Morpheus. Our Leader. He's up in the tower, I think.

Vault Dweller: C'mon, man. That tells me nothing. Share some of the dirt!

Zark: The guy dresses in black, he does his preacher act, then he goes upstairs and counts his scripts. Man, I wish I had it that easy! But I better stop talking about him behind his back, or the nightkin might here.

Vault Dweller: What are you afraid of?

Zark: You gotta be joking. The Nightkin are killers. You look at them the wrong way, and they'll cut off your body parts, cook 'em, and feed them to you a piece at a time. They can't be killed. They're the Master's enforcers and they're gonna tear apart the world for him. And I ain't saying nothing else!

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Dr. Wu: What is your problem, asshole? Maybe I put you to sleep, shithead!

Vault Dweller: I snooze, you lose, asshole!

Dr. Wu: I'm shaking, asshole! Now, you wanna get well or not?

Vault Dweller: Damn straight I do. There's gotta be a real doctor around this place.

Dr. Wu: You little asshole! Who do you think you are to bother Dr. Wu? Stupid shithead!

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Set: You. Vanished our water processor chip. Exchanged it... for your life!

Vault Dweller: Want it back?

Set: For the chip, you may walk.

Vault Dweller: Gotcha! I don't have it anymore!

Set: Your price is to belong to Necropolis forever.

Vault Dweller: King of expensive. How 'bout I remove you from office instead?

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Garl: I killed you!

Vault Dweller: Yes, you did. I've come back to haunt you.

Garl: I don't believe it! I can't believe it!

Vault Dweller: Believe this buddy, and you're about to join me in Hell!

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Loxley: What the hell do you want?

Vault Dweller: To be away from you.

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Vault Dweller: Is there a shorter version of this story?

Harold: I like telling it my way. Short version will cost you 25 extra, friend. Which will it be?

Vault Dweller: How about neither, you old fart?

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Butch: Well, whatta'ya got for me?

Vault Dweller: What was I supposed to do again?

Butch: Well, you're a bright one, ain't you? Here's the job: Find out who's stealing my caravans. Money, big. You fail, hurt, big. Understand? Now get outta here!

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Jake: I don't want any trouble. If you want to do business then let's do it. If not, get out.

Vault Dweller: You can go to hell. I go where I want, when I want!

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Katrina: Hello again. I hope you are doing well. Is there anything I can help you with?

Vault Dweller: Don't you ever go to sleep?

Katrina: Well, I take catnaps when you are not around. Besides, I find the desert air very invigorating and healthy. And I never tire of looking at the stars. Can you imagine never seeing the night sky for you entire life?

[She pauses and looks at you]

Katrina: Oh, I guess you can.

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