Dr. Seuss on the Loose (1973 TV Short)
Cat in the Hat: [singing] Oh, I frequently think / every now and then / of the glorious fruit / of the noble hen / Eggs, eggs, E, double-G, S-eggs / My knowledge of eggs / is tremendously wide / I've eaten them boiled, / I've eaten them fried / Poached and shirred / and deviled and scrambled / Hummeled, shmummeled, / cuddled, and frammeled / I've eaten them beaten / and swizzled and swuzzled / Frizzled, cadizzled, bamboozled, and fuzzled / I know every way / that an egg can be guzzled / And thinking of eggs / reminds me of Sam / Whose favorite dish / Is green eggs and ham.
Sneetch: Ronald, remember, when you are out walking, you walk past a Sneetch of that type without talking. Keep your snoot in the air, and remember to snort. We have no truck whatever with the plain-bellied sort.
Sneetch Choir: [singing] Twink, twink, twinkle, twinkle lovely little star...
Young Sneetch: [singing] Twink, twink, twinkle, twinkle stupid little star.
Sneetch Choir: If there's one upon your tummy, that's just yummy; you're a chummy/If there isn't you're a crummy, slummy, gummy, bummy dummy/That applies likewise to your daddy and your mommy/Twink, twink, twinkle, twinkle lovely little star...
Young Sneetch: Twink, twink, twinkle, twinkle stupid little star!
Sylvester McMonkey McBean: I've heard of your troubles. I've heard you're unhappy. But I can fix that. I'm the Fix-It-Up Chappie. I've come here to help you. I have what you need. And my prices are low. And I work with great speed. And my work is one hundred per cent guaranteed!
Sneetch: We're the true star-bellies! We had them first! We're still the best Sneetches, and they're still the worst!
Narrator: All the rest of that day, on those wild screaming beaches, the Fix-It-Up Chappie kept fixing up Sneetches. Off again! On again! In again! Out again! Through the machines they raced round and about again, changing their stars every minute or two. They kept paying money. They kept running through until the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew whether this one was that one or that one was this one or which one was what one... or what one was who.
Narrator: Then, when every last cent of their money was spent, the Fix-It-Up Chappie packed up. And he went. And he laughed as he drove in his car up the beach...
Sylvester McMonkey McBean: They never will learn. No. You can't teach a Sneetch!
Narrator: But McBean was quite wrong. I'm quite happy to say that the Sneetches got really quite smart on that day. The day they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches, and no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches. That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars and whether they had one, or not, upon thars.
Joey: I do not like green eggs and ham! I do not like them, Sam-I-Am!
Sam-I-Am: Would you like them here or there?
Joey: I do not like them here or there! I would not like them anywhere! I do not like green eggs and ham! I do not like them, Sam-I-Am!
Sam-I-Am: You may not like them, so you say. Try them. Try them and you may. Try them and you may, I say.
Joey: Sam, if you would let me be, I will try them, and you will see.
Narrator: Then, the North-Going Zax said with North-Going pride...
North-Going Zax: I never have taken a step to one side, and I'll prove to you that I won't change my ways if I have to keep standing here 59 days!
South-Going Zax: And I'll prove to *you*...
Narrator: Yelled the South-Going Zax...
South-Going Zax: That I can stand here in the Prairie of Prax for 59 years! For I lived by a rule, that I learned as a boy back in South-Going School, "Never budge." That's my rule. "Never budge in the least. Not an inch to the west, not an inch to the east." I'll stand here not budging. I can, and I will, if it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!
Sneetch Choir: [singing] Now, we know who is who, / and there isn't a doubt. / The best kind of sneetches / are sneetches without. / The old-fashioned custom / of walking about / with stars on your belly / is O-U-T, out! / Abdominal stars / we cannot obide. / Abdominal stars / are abominable. / Abdominal... abominable... / Abdominal stars / are abominable. O-U-T, out! / O-U-T, out! / That old-status symbol / is O-U-T, out!
Cat in the Hat: [singing] Oh, at the edge of each ocean, / you'll always find beaches. / Beautiful, glorious, / florious beaches. / When I meander / on peacefulish beaches, I frequently find myself / thinking of Sneetches.
Sneetch Choir: [singing] Snee... snee... / Did you say sneetches?
Cat in the Hat: [singing] Yes! S, N, double-E, T, C, H, E, S- sneetches!
Sneetch Choir: [singing] S, N, double-E, T, C, H, E, S- sneetches!
Narrator: One day, making tracks in the prairie of Prax, came a North-Going Zax. A North-Going Zax and a South-Going Zax. A North-Going Zax and a South-Going Zax. And it happened that both of them came to a place where they bumped. There they stood. Foot to foot. Face to face.
North-Going Zax: Look here now!
Narrator: ...the North-Going Zax said.
North-Going Zax: Hey, say! You are blocking my path. You are right in my way. I'm a North-Going Zax and I always go north. Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!
South-Going Zax: Who's in whose way?
Narrator: ...snapped the South-Going Zax.
South-Going Zax: I always go south, making south-going tracks. So you're in MY way! And I ask you to move and let me go south in my south-going groove.
Narrator: But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches would brag...
Sneetch: We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.
Narrator: With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort. They'd have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!
Sneetch Choir: [singing] From the heights of Muba Muba to the gullies of Gazoo/There is nobody else who has one; we're the favorite few who do... /And so a toast!/Raise your marshmallow stick/A toast!/Raise your good fellow stick/A toast to the glorious gimmick-ick that makes us what we are/Sound off and let the welcome ring/In praise of our exclusive thing/A toast!/Raise your marshmallow stick/A toast!/Raise your good fellow stick/A toast to your belly star!
Cat in the Hat: [singing] Oh, beyond the last mountain, / the very last mountain, / beyond the last Zinniga-Zanniga tree, / beyond the last woomf bush, / the very last woomf bush, / there is a vaculous, vacant prarie. / The Prarie of Prax, / and the tale of the Zax.