The three unsuspecting beauties are saved when the luxury yacht rescues them from their sinking boat... See full synopsis »
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Adult | Comedy | Fantasy
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  

Two guys fall asleep in front of a porn video, and dream of becoming owners of a luxury bordello.

Director: Gregory Dark
Stars: Jack Baker, Jamie Gillis, Traci Lords
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 -/10 X  
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Adult
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  

It's Friday and Californians want to get it on. Luckily for them, Tony's call-girls are ready to please.

Director: Mark Carriere
Stars: Beverly Bliss, Ron Jeremy, Traci Lords
Sex Fifth Avenue (Video 1985)
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7/10 X  
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Passion Pit (1986)
Adult
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Saturday night at the drive-in theater features sex. A couple on a date; the three young car hops (Jan, Judy, and Annina); the boss, Ilsa, has a sexy dream; and the projectionist has sex during the movie.

Directors: Duck Dumont, Charles Webb
Stars: Traci Lords, Stacey Donovan, John Holmes
Young & Restless II (Video 1985)
Adult
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
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Adult
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
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Adult
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
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Sport | Adult
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5/10 X  
Director: Stewart Dell
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Cast

Uncredited cast:
Lois Ayres ...
Kim (uncredited)
Pierre Banus ...
The Boss (uncredited)
...
Third Pony Girl (uncredited)
Crystal Breeze ...
Marilyn (uncredited)
Tani England ...
Wilma (uncredited)
Desiree Foxx ...
Girl in Rubber Suit (uncredited)
John Graham ...
Jay (uncredited)
Marcella Johns ...
Carol the Maid (uncredited)
...
Daphne (uncredited)
Bunnie White ...
Mitzi the Trainer (uncredited)
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The three unsuspecting beauties are saved when the luxury yacht rescues them from their sinking boat... See full synopsis »

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Michelle Bauer is credited as Pia Sands and Lois Ayres is credited as Lana Alberts on the video's box cover. See more »

Connections

Followed by Pony Girl Number Two (1985) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Lord, some of the things I watch...
29 March 2009 | by (Ohio, USA) – See all my reviews

I'm a fan of both Traci Lords and Michelle Bauer, but did I really need to see the two of them gallop around a dirt track for 60-minutes? Not really, but what's done is done. Lords actually briefly discussed this film in her autobiography "Underneath It All," and mentioned it being a strange and amusing job she did, and I'm sure it was. It's also one of only a handful of non-pornographic films she did before the underage porn scandal hit the news. Though this (a specialty BDSM tape) caters to a similar adult audience, there's nothing hardcore about it and it pretty much fits in with all the R-rated exploitation films both Lords and Bauer would later make. Bauer herself was one of the top bondage models of the 1980s (under the names Pia Sands, Kim Bittner and other aliases) and was even crowned "Miss Bondage World" a number of years, so what goes on in this film is certainly nothing new for her.

So how's THIS for a plot... Wealthy flagrant line-flubber Boris (Pierre Banus) and his cowboy-hat-wearing colleague Jay (John Graham) run a profitable business kidnapping random women and then turning them into horses! Well, they're not literally turned into horses, they're just shipped off to a farm where whip-wielding Mitzi (Bunnie White) forces the girls to dress in bondage gear, fastens them to a horse walker and makes them walk or run circles around a track as she barks out various orders ("prance!" "gallop!"). Vicki (Bauer), Daphne (Lords) and Kim (porno actress Lois Ayres) aren't having it though and quietly plot their escape. Maybe they're sick of being walked around on leashes and having to sleep on the barn floor.

Secret cameras are apparently everywhere and the footage from the farm is being sent to a yacht where Boris and Jay are breaking in a few new girls so they'll be ready for their strenuous new lives as ponies. One girl dressed is a full-body leather outfit and breathing apparatus is shown numerous times whining and squirming on a bed. They also find Marilyn (Crystal Breeze) stranded at sea, invite her on-board, drug her drink and then tie her up after she passes out. When she comes to she learns what they plan on doing with her and hilariously screams "I'm gonna be a horse?!" Meanwhile, Bauer, Lords and the other girl manage to untie themselves and escape, but they're found and brought back to the farm just as the scuba girl and Breeze are brought in. The video then abruptly ends, but don't worry, there's a sequel - PONY GIRL TWO: THE STORY CONTINUES!

To some this might be degrading in the extreme, but it's so badly acted and silly I seriously couldn't see anyone really being offended by it. I didn't find it the least bit erotic either, but I'm sure some people out there would. Many of the takes are extremely long and the film has the expected camcorder production values and terrible acting. Bauer is pretty funny at times though, and even lets out an audible laugh when she's forced to "canter." She and Lords don't have much dialogue, but I guess it's hard to talk when you spend half your scenes with a steel bar in your mouth.


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