Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987–1996)
Leonardo: We turtles don't know the meaning of the word 'defeat'.
Michaelangelo: That's right. We never bothered to look it up in the dictionary.
[Raphael and Michaelangelo are tied up back-to-back in chairs with a bomb next to them]
Raphael: We're Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! We oughta be able to escape from a cornball setup like this!
[Raphael notices Michaelangelo rocking side to side]
Raphael: What are you doing?
Michaelangelo: Well, I once saw this movie where this dude was tied up and he just kept rocking back and forth 'til he fell over.
Raphael: It's worth a try.
[Raphael rocks side to side with Michaelangelo and they soon fall over]
Raphael: Great! Then what did he do?
Michaelangelo: I dunno. I went into the kitchen for some popcorn.
Raphael: Okay, April, where you hiding?
Leonardo: Hey, it's April's wallet.
Raphael: And over there.
Donatello: April's press pass.
Raphael: Yeah, I'd know that wad of used chewing gum anywhere.
Michaelangelo: Uh, you get the feeling April's in trouble?
Donatello: Well, either that, or she's got a big hole in her purse.
[they discover it on a landing]
Donatello: April's purse. Come on.
Donatello: Hang on, April! You wouldn't last five minutes in a Ninja pizzaria! I love saying lines like that.
April O'Neil: This is great. I must really be on to something hot if they're trying to kill me.
Rocksteady: Ooooh yuck! It looks like what the water looks like after my bath!
Shredder: Hey. When was the las time THAT happened?
Rocksteady: Ooh what year is this?
Rocksteady: I think it's the year my bath is due!
Donatello: Lady, would you please leave?
Maid: Now, I won't be any bother to you.
Donatello: Let me put it this way.
[lifts the mask to reveal his turtle face]
Maid: Mr. Baxter, you've been working too hard. You look kinda green.
Donatello: Boy, this guy's more into pizza than we are.
Raphael: Yeah. What's he gonna do next?
Raphael: spray us with tomato sauce?
Raphael: [sprayed with tomato sauce] I had to ask.
[Shredder points a mutation reversal ray at the Turtles]
Michaelangelo: Whuh-oh! It's that retro-muto-thingamabob!
Donatello: He's gonna use it to turn us back into ordinary turtles!
Raphael: Well, gang, looks like it's back to the ol' pet shop for us!
Shredder: Far from it. Tonight, I dine on turtle soup!
Michaelangelo: April sure was mad.
Donatello: Ah well, you know women.
Raphael: No we don't. She's the first one we ever met.
Leonardo: [Turtle Tips on organic gardens] Even small gardens help to refurbish the soil.
Donatello: Yeah and these plants will help clean the air we breathe.
Raphael: And it makes great organic pizza, if you're into that kind of thing.
April O'Neil: Who ordered the tomato, asparagus and kiwi special?
Michaelangelo: Oh yuck. Dudes, if we're growing pizza toppings, how about organic marshmallows?
Bebop: [a Roadkill Rodney just broke them out of their cage] What took you so long?
Roadkill Rodney: The Shredder wants to have a talk with you.
Rocksteady: Um, you couldn't maybe put us back in the cage, could you?
Donatello: But us, turtles, why must we stand alone against the forces of evil?
Michaelangelo: Face it, man, it's the only job we're qualified for.
Donatello: Oh yeah, you're right.
[series theme song]
Chorus: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Heroes in a half-shell! Turtle power! They're the world's most fearsome fighting team! We're really hip! / They're heroes in a half-shell and they're green! Hey, get a grip! / When the evil Shredder attack, These turtle boys don't cut him no slack! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Splinter taught them to be ninja teens! He's a radical rat! / Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines! That's a fact, jack! / Raphael is cool but crude! Gimme a break! / Michelangelo is a party dude! Party! / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Heroes in a half-shell! Turtle power!
Sgt. Sean O'Tharity: And I couldn't have captured these crooks without the help of Teenage Mutant Ninja Leprechauns.
Michaelangelo: Begora! That's us, me boys!
[begins dancing Irish jig on coffee table]
Rocksteady: You sure this gonna give us them powers?
Shredder: Of course. Although you may have a little trouble getting a date on Saturday night.
Shredder: Forward March! YOUR LEFT/YOUR LEFT/Ya' left your wife and fourty-eight kids!
Michaelangelo: [they're pushing a van up the stairs] Couldn't we have maybe taken the elevator?
Leonardo: Where's the Shredder?
Baxter Stockman: I'll never talk.
Raphael: You'd better, or else I'm gonna get... Sarcastic.
Leonardo: I think they're starting to tire.
Raphael: Great. In a few more hours, they'll barely be able to throw a car at us.
Michaelangelo: So, like, why don't we throw some trucks at them?
Rocksteady: [throws Leo and Raph against the wall] Aw, did I hurt youse? This'll make it better!
[fires his gun at them]
Rupert The Turtle: When that thing gets close to capacity... Kabloo-hoo-hoo-hooey!
Exterminator: Get rid of all rats, eh? What are you, crazy? You wanna drive me out of business?
[Raphael knocks down Bebop and Rocksteady during a fight]
Raphael: Ha! You idiots couldn't hit me with...
[we see Bebop and Rocksteady picking up]
Raphael: ...a big rubber tyre!
[Bebop and Rocksteady throw the tyre at Raphael and knock him down]
Raphael: Ever get that rundown feeling?
Donatello: What kind of idiot puts his name on a death machine?
Raphael: An idiot with an ego problem.
Shredder: Come along, you two.
Rocksteady: Oh, all we ever do is go up and down, up and down!
Krang: Sounds like the perfect job for a couple of yo-yos. I made a funny.
Shredder: Destroy them all! Ha ha. Aw it feels so good to be so bad.
Sgt. Sean O'Tharity: Come quietly, my green lads.
[stares at the turtles shocked]
Michaelangelo: What's the matter, dude? Haven't you seen four foot tall turtles before?
Sgt. Sean O'Tharity: Faith and Begorah! The wee ones! The little people!
Raphael: Hey, hey, Sean, I know we're short. But not *that* short.
Sgt. Sean O'Tharity: You've got the wrong people here, Lieutenant. They don't have the emerald. They've got pots of gold.
Lt. Bronski: What are you talking about, O'Tharity?
Sgt. Sean O'Tharity: They're leprechauns!
Lt. Bronski: You're nuts!
Krang: Great shooting, Tragg. I'm gonna pin a metal on you as soon as I get a pair of hands.
Burne Thompson: [standing on a stack of chairs, reaching for a television set]
Burne Thompson: Hey mister help me change this channel! I wanna watch cartoons.
Shredder: No! I am the master, you are the slave, and I say no cartoons!
Burne Thompson: I wanna watch cartoons! I wanna watch cartoons!
[the chairs fall down and Burne topples on Shredder]
Burne Thompson: Now look watcha did! You gave me a boo-boo! Aaaaaahhh!
Dask: They're Krang's Stone Warriors from Dimension X. They're bad.
Raphael: Uh yeah, I guessed that. You got any weapons on those hot rods?
Dask: Of course, they're required by law.
April O'Neil: Who are they? Let's interrogate them.
Michaelangelo: Relax, April, they're cool.
Dask: Cool? Daddy-O, we are frozen.
April O'Neil: Why is it I never understand what's going on?
Raphael: [all the Turtles are tied up]
Raphael: C'mon, figure a way out of this.
Donatello: Are you kidding? Only the most skilled Ninja Master could get out these knots!
[Leonardo frees himself, then starts to cut Donatello loose]
Donatello: Oh, hi, Leonardo.
Raphael: Gee Michaelangelo, I didn't know you could drive.
Michaelangelo: Well, I can't. Cowabunga!