| Christian Malcolm | ... | Troy McGreggor | |
| Bruce J. Mitchell | ... | Zap Rowsdower | |
| Shane Marceau | ... | Satoris | |
| Ron Anderson | ... | Mike Pipper | |
| Bharbara Egan | ... | Aunt Betty | |
| Randy Vasseur | ... | Thomas McGreggor, Troy's Father | |
| Bryan C. Knight | ... | Gas Attendant (as Bryan Knight) | |
| Catherine O'Connel | ... | Operator #1 | |
| Felice Wills | ... | Radio Announcer | |
| John Soldan | ... | Cultist | |
| Aus Greidanus | ... | Cultist | |
| Frank Paynter | ... | Cultist | |
| Dean Hinche | ... | Cultist | |
| Cris Wiseman | ... | Cultist | |
| Paul McKay | ... | Cultist | |
| Robert Bjornson | ... | Cultist | |
| Jason Mauza | ... | Cultist | |
| Brock Jones | ... | Cultist | |
| Rick Robbins | ... | Cultist | |
| Wayne Leppar | ... | Cultist | |
| Brad Wroblesky | ... | Cultist | |
| Adrian Mckechnie | ... | Cultist | |
| Matthew Chipera | ... | Cultist (as Matt Chipera) | |
| Ken Yakiwchuk | ... | Cultist | |
| Sean Jensen | ... | Cultist |
Directed by | |||
| Tjardus Greidanus | |||
Writing credits | ||
| Tjardus Greidanus | (written by) | |
| Christian Malcolm | uncredited | |
| Bruce J. Mitchell | uncredited | |
Original Music by | |||
| Robert Skeet | |||
Cinematography by | |||
| Jim Stacy | |||
Film Editing by | |||
| Tjardus Greidanus | (as The Flying Dutchman) | ||
| Glen Ludlow | |||
Makeup Department | |||
| David Trainor | .... | makeup designer: Satoris | |
Production Management | |||
| Per Asplund | .... | post-production supervisor | |
Art Department | |||
| Bryan Pfahl | .... | production designer: City of Ziox (creator: City of Ziox) | |
Sound Department | |||
| Sean Bjornson | .... | sound | |
| Michael Cox | .... | foley artist | |
| Tjardus Greidanus | .... | sound editor | |
| David Griffith | .... | foley artist | |
| David Griffith | .... | sound mixer: additional photography | |
| Darin Wilson | .... | sound re-recording mixer | |
| Rick Youck | .... | foley artist | |
| Kelly Zombor | .... | sound | |
Special Effects by | |||
| Philip Letourneau | .... | additional special effects photographer | |
Stunts | |||
| Dean Hinche | .... | stunts | |
| Wayne Leppar | .... | stunts | |
| Frank Paynter | .... | stunts | |
| Cris Wiseman | .... | stunts | |
Editorial Department | |||
| Mark Dobrescu | .... | assistant editor | |
| Wayne Little | .... | assistant editor | |
| Cherene O'Shea | .... | assistant editor | |
| Darin Wilson | .... | negative cutter | |
Music Department | |||
| Robert Skeet | .... | musician | |
Other crew | |||
| Rick Doe | .... | crew member: "The Local Lab" | |
| Nancy Marano | .... | financial consultant | |
| Shona C. Rossel | .... | crew member: "The Local Lab" | |
| Roy Sallows | .... | script consultant | |
| Glynis Whiting | .... | script consultant | |
| Felice Wills | .... | market researcher (as Fe Wills) | |
Thanks | |||
| Helene Caryk | .... | special thanks | |
| Michael Cox | .... | special thanks | |
| Robert Cuffley | .... | special thanks (as Robert Cufley) | |
| Scott Davidson | .... | special thanks | |
| Diane DeWick | .... | special thanks | |
| Richard Galley | .... | special thanks | |
| Aus Greidanus | .... | special thanks | |
| John Greidanus | .... | special thanks | |
| Lyke Greidanus | .... | special thanks | |
| Muriel Hamilton | .... | special thanks | |
| Micheal Hamm | .... | special thanks | |
| Catherine Hannis | .... | special thanks | |
| Chuck Kenny | .... | special thanks | |
| Terry King | .... | special thanks | |
| George Koller | .... | special thanks | |
| Anisa Lalani | .... | special thanks | |
| Philip Letourneau | .... | special thanks | |
| Dave Meuser | .... | special thanks | |
| Brad Moerke | .... | special thanks | |
| James Rasmussen | .... | special thanks | |
| Frank Russo | .... | special thanks | |
| Eddy Stair | .... | special thanks | |
| Grant Vetters | .... | special thanks | |
| Joyce Visscher | .... | special thanks | |
| Brian Whittred | .... | special thanks | |
| Rick Youck | .... | special thanks | |
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| IMDb Canada section |
"Quest for the Lost City" (or "The Final Sacrifice" as it is more commonly known) features a paper thin plot apparently thought up by a third grader, stunningly icky and sometimes downright ugly characters, and not much else.
This is the story of geeky little Troy, whose dad was an amateur archaeologist who disappeared a few years back whilst seeking The Lost City! Troy finds a map to The Lost City that his dad left behind and soon, ski-mask wearing moose hunters in black tank tops and sweat pants are chasing after him with machetes. We're never really quite sure exactly why these bodybuilders don't want anyone to find out about them, but their boss Satoris - a greasy, creepy looking guy with an impossibly deep voice and a penchant for black trenchcoats and kinky riding crops - gives the orders and no one questions him. Troy hooks up with a lumpy loser name of - get this - Zap Rowsdower. What the hell kind of a name is Zap Rowsdower? I mean, if you were Mrs. Rowsdower, why would you want to curse your son further by naming him Zap, for crying out loud? But, I digress...
Zap used to be a member of the bodybuilders cult, but was tossed out by Satoris, apparently for having a stupider name than him. Zap might also know more about the death of Troy's father than he's willing to admit, but there's no time for that as Troy and Zap meet Mike Pipper, Troy's dad's old partner. Mike is a strange combination of Yosemite Sam and Jethro Tull, and although I suspect he was supposed to be the wise man of the film, filling in plot holes and offering Yoda-like advice, I couldn't stop laughing at him long enough to take him or anything he said seriously. Apparently, while I was laughing, I missed something important, because Troy is kidnapped by Satoris and prepared for The Final Sacrifice! It is now up to Zap to save him and clear his own name in the process.
Yeah, whatever.
This film might have worked better if Troy had instead been an attractive young girl and Zap had been a handsome young man with a less stupid name... and less facial hair and a better wardrobe and less body odor and...well, it would have been predictable as hell, but it would have been more interesting. I mean, wouldn't the gods that Satoris worships be a little cheesed off at being offered such a goofy sacrifice? This is clearly a family project, with the directors close friends and distant cousins trying to pass themselves off as actors, and the director himself trying to pass himself off as a director. Good gods, a full cast and crew actually wasted an entire sunny weekend making this pile of moose dung. And yet, I found myself rather amused by it all. It's one of my favorite MST3K episodes and I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's the silly names, maybe it's the simplicity of the plot (which reminded me of stories I wrote when I was a dumb kid) maybe I'm secretly attracted to guys with cavernous noses and really stupid names, I don't know. But I liked it. It was just bad enough to be somewhat amusing and was kind of like watching a wrestling match filmed outdoors. I give it a 3 on a scale of 10, and I'm feeling generous today.
Watch the MST3K version if you must watch it at all.