Patch Adams (1998)
Hunter Patch Adams: You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.
Hunter Patch Adams: Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.
Arthur Mendelson: You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem!
Hunter Patch Adams: I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride. I love you because I know no other way then this. So close that your hand, on my chest, is my hand. So close, that when you close your eyes, I fall asleep.
Hunter Patch Adams: [standing on the edge of a cliff contemplating suicide. He talks to God... ] So what now, huh? What do you want from me?
Hunter Patch Adams: [looks down over cliff, a rock tumbles off] Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. So answer me please. Tell me what you're doing. Okay, let's look at the logic. You create man. Man suffers enormous amounts of pain. Man dies. Maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to creation. You rested on the seventh day. Maybe you should've spent that day on compassion.
Hunter Patch Adams: [looks down over the cliff again] You know what? You're not worth it.
[walks away from the cliff]
Hunter Patch Adams: We can head on down to the maternity ward. You know those chicks put out.
[while Patch is driving]
Corinne Fisher: When can I open my eyes?
Hunter Patch Adams: As soon as I open mine.
Hunter Patch Adams: I'm really starting to love the back of your head.
Hunter Patch Adams: All of life is a coming home. Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home. It's hard to describe what I felt like then. Picture yourself walking for days in the driving snow; you don't even know you're walking in circles. The heaviness of your legs in the drifts, your shouts disappearing into the wind. How small you can feel, and how far away home can be. Home. The dictionary defines it as both a place of origin and a goal or destination. And the storm? The storm was all in my mind. Or as the poet Dante put it: In the middle of the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood, for I had lost the right path. Eventually I would find the right path, but in the most unlikely place.
Hunter Patch Adams: We need to start treating the patient as well as the disease.
Arthur Mendelson: How many fingers do you see?
Hunter Patch Adams: Four.
Arthur Mendelson: No no! Look beyond the fingers! Now tell me how many you see.
Dean Walcott: ...you are not cut out to be a physician, and it is my responsibility...
Hunter Patch Adams: Responsibility? You have one responsibility: to be a dickhead. How hard can that be? All you have to do is make sure your head is a dick, and it's attached to your neck.
Hunter Patch Adams: What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.
Hunter Patch Adams: Death. To die. To expire. To pass on. To perish. To peg out. To push up daisies. To push up posies. To become extinct. Curtains, deceased, Demised, departed And defunct. Dead as a doornail. Dead as a herring. Dead as a mutton. Dead as nits. The last breath. Paying a debt to nature. The big sleep. God's way of saying, "Slow down."
Bill Davis: To check out.
Hunter Patch Adams: To shuffle off this mortal coil.
Bill Davis: To head for the happy hunting ground.
Hunter Patch Adams: To blink for an exceptionally long period of time.
Bill Davis: To find oneself without breath.
Hunter Patch Adams: To be the incredible decaying man.
Bill Davis: Worm buffet.
Hunter Patch Adams: Kick the bucket.
Bill Davis: Buy the farm.
Hunter Patch Adams: Take the cab.
Bill Davis: Cash in your chips.
Hunter Patch Adams: And if we bury you ass up, I have got a place to park my bike.
Hunter Patch Adams: Hi. Patch Adams.
Mitch Roman: Mitch Roman. Georgetown University. I was awarded the William F. Thompson Scientific Achievement Award.
Hunter Patch Adams: Mmm. Emerson Elementary. I once drew a picture of a rabbit that got me two gold stars.
Mitch Roman: I don't like you!
Hunter Patch Adams: Why don't you like me? You're a prick and I like you.
Hunter Patch Adams: Sir, I want to be a doctor will all my heart.
Hunter Patch Adams: Now you have the ability to keep me from graduating. You can keep me from getting the title and the white coat. But you can't control my spirit, gentlemen. You can't keep me from learning, you can't keep me from studying. So you have a choice: you can have me as a professional colleague, passionate, or you can have me as an outspoken outsider, still adament. Either way I'll probably still be viewed as a thorn. But I promise you one thing: I am a thorn that will not go away
Charlie: Is that all?
Hunter Patch Adams: I hope not, sir.
Hunter Patch Adams: I wanted to become a doctor so I could serve others. And because of that, I've lost everything. But I've also gained everything.
Hunter Patch Adams: [Patch stands on a cliff, contemplating suicide] So what now, huh? What do you want from me? Yea, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. So answer me, please. Tell me what you're doing. Okay, let's look at the logic. You create man. Man suffers enormous amounts of pain. Man dies. Maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to creation. You rested on the seventh day, maybe you should have spent that day on compassion.
[a rock tumbles down the cliff]
Hunter Patch Adams: You know what? You're not worth it.
[he walks away]
Hunter Patch Adams: Last night with Rudy, I connected to another human being. I want more of that. I want to learn about people, help them with their troubles.
Dr. Prack: That's what I do.
Hunter Patch Adams: But you suck at it.
Joletta: [Joletta has just met Patch] Look here, Judy, another future boss.
Hunter Patch Adams: Oh, I wouldn't look at it like that.
Joletta: You may think I'm exaggerating, but in another five years you'll be so full of yourself you'll have to hang a cup out your ass just to catch the excess.
Hunter Patch Adams: You don't understand, I'm leaving
Dr. Titan: Hunter, if you leave my records will say AMA, you left against medical advice.
Hunter Patch Adams: And Mine will say IDGARA, I don't give a rat's ass. And my name is Patch.
Truman: I thought only I could repel women with that kind of raw efficiency.
Arthur Mendelson: You learn anything about proctology yet Patch? Good, take care of this asshole for me, will ya?
Dean Walcott: Our job is to rigorously and ruthlessly train the humanity out of you and make you into something better. We're gonna make doctors out of you.
Arthur Mendelson: See what no one else sees. See what everyone chooses not to see... out of fear, conformity or laziness. See the whole world anew each day!
Corinne Fisher: Lesbian, airhead, ballbuster, whichever one of these disgusts you the most, take your pick. Please spread the word: I'm not here to date. I'm not here to flirt. I'm here to study.
Hunter Patch Adams: Who likes to masturbate?
[Everyone in room raises their hands]
Hunter Patch Adams: [to Carin] I love you not knowing how, why, or even from where.
Corinne Fisher: When I was a girl I would look out my bedroom window at the caterpillars; I envied them so much. No matter what they were before, no matter what happened to them, they could just hide away and turn into these beautiful creatures that could fly away completely untouched.
Hunter Patch Adams: [imitating a skeleton] I have a boner. Wait, I am a boner.
Arthur Mendelson: [Mr. Mendelson's attorney is expressing concern over him using his land for Patch's free medical clinic] You learn anything about proctology yet?
Hunter Patch Adams: A little.
Arthur Mendelson: Good, take care of this asshole for me, will you?
Hunter Patch Adams: [Patch is trying to convince Rudy not to be afraid of squirrels] What could they want? Your nuts?