Its original title TALE OF BEARDED CLAM is smuttily intriguing, but this desultory XXX film is very poorly slapped together. It's been reissued by Something Weird with a generic moniker MINI SKIRT HEIST as part of an extremely obscure "tribute" to stars Keith Erickson & Nancy Martin of both this and the HYPNO SEX co-feature on Vol. 139 of SWV's Dragon Art Theatre series.
The "heist" of the re-title hardly lives up to that promise of action, as the anonymous filmmakers make zero effort at credible plot or believability -it's "strip and hump" time folks.
Ostensible narrative has Erickson as Jack and his pal Bill given $20,000 by their boss to deposit in the bank. He pulls up in his Imperial next to their Cadillac to give them the bread in an awkward scene that telegraphs how random & pointless the hour of porn will be.
MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD:
On the way to the bank they're diverted by two female hitchhikers (yes, they're wearing miniskirts) Cindy (Becky Sharpe) and Brenda (Nancy Martin). The gals easily convince them to take them to their motel where the implication of sex comes true.
Meanwhile the boss Wendel Short is humping his pretty wife Evelyn (Bea Moore), telling her (and the audience) the film's plot. Evelyn has maxed out on credit cards putting Wendel in financial straits, so he's concocted a plan to have the gals steal his $20,000 for him from the hapless Jack & Bill, so that he can double it by getting it back in insurance. No, this "script" is not in the league of Raymond Chandler and Billy Wilder's for James M. Cain's DOUBLE INDEMNITY.
More interesting than the token attempts at plot is a subliminal device that probably worked well in the quickie's early '70s play dates. Becky and Nancy finish off their men with energetic hand jobs that sequentially deliver impressive money shots in succession, timed to induce a Pavlovian response in the male viewer.
Not so fortunate is Wendel, who humps wifey without being able to achieve an erection, and fails to deliver in the ejaculation department. He is totally miscast as the "boss" in the person of an underage-looking anonymous porn creep, who I most recently saw taking up space in the minor Becky Sharpe movie JEANIE'S MAGIC BOX.
Both Sharpe and Martin look drug-dazed in the dialog/action scene after getting Jack & Bill off, forcing the men to strip at gunpoint and stealing not only the $20,000 but their clothes. Not to worry, with zero continuity the boys show up at Short's pad for an orgy and truly idiotic ending. Such endings were a standard way of insulting the audience back in the day, especially with "NO REFUNDS" signs prominently displayed in the theaters.
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