From aboard the IMDboat at San Diego Comic-Con, Kevin Smith talks to the cast of "Teen Wolf" about the solemn yet celebratory panel for the upcoming season. This news and more in our Guide to Comic-Con.
A flickering fire in a pit casts shadows on a cave wall of a couple, half-human, half-animal, engaged in sex. The shadows have tails and small horns. There's a sense of something strangely ... See full summary »
Jenna's dream is to become a top Hollywood model, but her refusal to "play the game" isn't working. She's about to pack it in and take the bus back to Iowa, but her agent talks her into giving it a few more weeks.
Fred J. Lincoln
She's a fashionable photographer with a good career and a bad boyfriend. How bad? When he leaves, he takes all her money and all her chromes! Leaving her without a relationship and without ... See full summary »
Two people with lots of G's in their names directed this wannabe film noir together: Geraldine Greystroke and Greg Steelberg. My guess is one of them concentrated on story part, the other on the sex scenes. Steven St. Croix opens and closes the film, narrating the story from jail as it evolves in flashback. His character, Derek Parker, used to be a bartender at Colin Hamilton's Titty club, where he fell under the spell of the bosses wife, Charlotte. She is played by Tiffany Million in typical bitchy mode. E.Z. Rider is the boss himself, who for reasons that will soon become obvious dresses like a bum in a black raincoat and a baseball cap that fails to control his wild mane of curly hair. Colin orders waitresses Tracy & Suzanne (Tiffany Minx & Jenna Jameson) to perform for him upstairs. He watches them from up close, but never gets involved, unlike Charlotte, who is busy seducing Derek in the back room simultaneously.
Colin is up to something with his bookie Kirk (Tom Byron) - who not coincidentally dresses in the same hobo fashions. Before their meeting, Kirk takes the time to flash some diamonds in the face of a fancy hooker in the back of a limo. After Kirk hands the boss a plane ticket, a fake birth certificate and a passport, we see one of them firing a shotgun, causing the other to fly out of the first floor window. This is inter-cut with the climax of a sex act on stage so as to make it unclear which one of the men just got killed (though it's safe to say nobody watching will have any trouble figuring out the truth). Now it has to be noted that you don't often see stunts like this in an adult feature, so kudos to Greystoke and Steelberg for that. However, the murder victim is not so much catapulted out of the window but performing some sort of swan dive, kind of ruining the effect by revealing it to be an obvious stunt. Despite being shot in the head, the man is identified as Colin Hamilton. Even stranger is that the death is classified a suicide owing to a large gambling debt.
Steve Drake & Bobby Vitale are O'Donovan & Spencer, the two cops investigating the case. Their first order of business is to question the hooker Kurt was with in the limo. Spencer the rookie gets a free ride from her after some feeble objections, leaving the more experienced O'Donovan to sneak around her apartment for a while. All he comes up with is a cellular phone number. Just after they leave, the hooker is killed by a man who could be either Colin, Kurt or a third member of the black trench coat, cap and curly pony tail club. Meanwhile Charlotte is already making plans to go to Paris with Derek when Detective O Donovan visits unexpectedly. Since he's about the only person in the film who hasn't had sex yet, Charlotte seduces him, thereby convincing the lame brained detective of her innocence.
Det. Spencer returns to the club to question Suzanne the waitress who gives him a little preview of the kind of show she gave for Colin the night he died. This time Spencer takes the place of Tracy and finds out that Colin has a safe to keep his secrets in. When the only man who knows the combination to this safe turns out to be the same guy who owns the cellular phone, the two cops turn up on Derek's doorstep and arrest him. It's funny that for a plot that's so full of holes you could shoot a guy through the head and have him dive through a window, it takes almost ten minutes of sex-free screen time to resolve the story. Don't read on if you want the ending spoiled - but hey, if you've gotten this far, you'll probably have figured it out for yourself already.
Of course Charlotte and Colin were in it together. He's cut off his hair and gone to another county to escape his debtors. When she joins him there, he uses all sorts of fancy talk on her that unfortunately E.Z. Ryder is incapable of delivering. Then the two of them try to double cross each other once more, but Charlotte has one last ace up her sleeve in the form of another accomplice: Suzanne. It's good to see that even in pornographic film noir, Femme Fatale's still come out on top. Sure, the ending was predictable and the entire plot too contrived, but who watches these kinds of pictures for that anyway?
6 out of 10
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