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7 out of 7 people found the following comment useful :-
Possibly the greatest B-movie ever, 24 February 2002
Author: Sir Weeze

This has everything you could ever want in a horrible movie: awful dialogue, atrotious acting, zero story, gigantic breasts, explosions, a villian in a Phantom of the Opera mask, and Buff Bagwell! Great to watch with a group of people with a sense of humor.

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5 out of 5 people found the following comment useful :-
the best Sidaris film, at least girl-wise, 2 September 2006
Author: noworneverprod from United States

okay, forget that the entire cast makes Shatner look like Orson Welles, this flick rocks! I love it! One of my faves. The horrible acting actually makes it more fun IMHO. The awful acting of the 2 male leads is laughable and totally funny. And then there's the girls: seeing Julie K. Smith and Shae Marks in those white tops toward the end are amazing. Also Shae in that white 'business outfit earlier in the film at their HQ is not to be missed! What I love about Sidaris films is that they're fun. If they didn't have the giant silicone breasts, they would not be. All hail Andy Sidaris! Nice to see Kevin Eastman, the guy from Heavy Metal magazine making a cameo. The only other Sidaris film that possibly beats this one as far as breast-size is Do Or Die.

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5 out of 6 people found the following comment useful :-
Can you believe it? It was watchable!, 14 September 1999
7/10
Author: Hermit C-2 from Marietta, GA, USA

I hadn't seen an Andy Sidaris film in years (not with the sound turned up, anyway) and I had no reason to believe this one would be any different from his others. Those always had the same elements. First it would have a totally uninvolving action story full of explosions and martial arts. Second, it would have a script that was stilted and pedestrian. Third, it would feature almost uniformly wooden acting. I'm talkin' sequoia here. Last, it would be full of bodacious babes who were always clad in one of two ways: scantily or un-. Only one of these elements interested me (take a guess) and the others made his movies all but unwatchable.

Well maybe I'm getting mellow in my old age or possibly Sidaris learned something from his other films because I could actually enjoy this one as simple dumb fun. The main factor here is a switch in emphasis to flesh over fireworks and fighting. The story is still the same non-entity, the acting is as bad as ever (does Sidaris want it that way?) but the women are a softcore voyeur's delight, though if you prefer nature's bounty over the wonders of cosmetic surgery, you may not appreciate them. The way is led in this film by the udderly amazing duo of Julie K. Smith and Shae Marks, with Julie Strain also on hand and Playboy alumnus Carrie Wescott as the nominal villainess. Marks was also a Playboy centerfold model and one would have thought she wouldn't have needed to augment her considerable natural charms, but I guess that was a career decision.

This movie is not headed for the National Film Registry but I was able to enjoy it on some level and considering Sidaris' previous output, that surprised me.

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3 out of 3 people found the following comment useful :-
Bigger is better, 9 July 2005
Author: Dr. Gore (drgore@hotmail.com) from Los Angeles, California

*** This comment may contain spoilers ***

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

Master filmmaker Andy Sidaris likes his movies big. "Return to Savage Beach" is no exception. Big explosions! Big, hunky men! Big, fast cars! Big breasted women! In the case of Shae Marks, REALLY big breasted women! Sidaris also likes to shoot his movies in the most exotic locations. Nothing ugly would dare show its face in one of his movies. This adventure has the Lethal Ladies running around all the tropical beaches they can find. It's a tough life.

Sidaris is in complete control of his movies. He knows exactly what he wants to see. Well, there are two things out of his control: The quality of the acting and the plot. These two items are of secondary concern. What's important here is that the Lethal Ladies bounce around the globe fighting terrorists. Thank God they are here to protect us. "Return to Savage Beach" has the ladies going after a treasure so that the bad guys don't get it. That's enough plot for me.

So what about those Lethal Ladies? Let's see, we've got Julie Strain, Julie Smith, Shae Marks and Carrie Westcott. It's a gold mine. Once again, Strain and Smith make all my dreams come true. Smith has a couple of turns as a stripper and Strain jumps in a pool with Buff Bagwell! Shae Marks plays Tiger. Grrrrrr!!! She even has leopard skin outfits. Her breasts are truly amazing. Marks breasts manage to surpass both Strain's and Smith's impressive displays. Westcott is good as the red leather wearing, roller blading, pizza delivery girl. She has very large breasts as well. No surprise there.

If you want to watch large breasted women save the world, pick up a Sidaris flick today. "Return to Savage Beach" is just what you would expect. Think big.

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3 out of 3 people found the following comment useful :-
Shae at her biggest, 29 September 1999
Author: knockers from Pittsburgh

Similar to Acalpuco HEAT, the syndicated TV show, this is a secret service agency that fights terrorists. The notable exception of this movie is that every female character has enormous boobs. Most of the women easily surpass Double D cup sizes. Every female character is matched with a studly male coagent who has to have sex with their respective costar during the movie at least once. This doesn't leave much time for a realistic plot scene, but hey, if you are watching this, you weren't really expecting much but Tits and Ass were you? Of note, this is when Shae Marks breasts were at her biggest before she had some of the silicone taken out. They are impressive to say the least

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2 out of 2 people found the following comment useful :-
Now this is a man's movie.....women, guns and explosions! A-, 9 August 2000
Author: Smooth B from Somewhere In Illinois

An Andy Sidaris classic, folks. For those of you who have never seen any of this guy's movies, check this one out.....it'll tell you all you need to know. "Hard Hunted", "Hard Ticket To Hawaii", "Day of the Warrior", etc., and this movie are all about the same. Beautiful, busty secret agent women and burly dudes blowing up stuff and having sex in Hawaii.

This one involves the recovery of a box of goodies that was buried on an island somewhere in the South Pacific by the Philippine government. "Tiger" and "Cobra" are the secret agents to look out for. Look at their chests and you'll know why. As a long-time wrestling fan, I was suprised to see Marcus "Buff" Bagwell have a prominent role in this one. He even got down and dirty with Julie Strain....lucky guy! Oh yeah, did I mention she's in this, too? She's in a lot of these, but she's in this flick as the leader of the L.E.T.H.A.L. Force (Legion to Enforce Total Harmony And Law). Ava, the big-chested "sextrologist" is back, sending secret messages to operatives over the airwaves.

One agent (the one who dresses in the red leather outfit and hands out the poison pizza) appears later on in the movie during the resolution scenes with what sounds like a poorly-done Russian accent. Don't forget the villain, dressed in an outfit straight out of "Phantom of the Opera".

I'd recommend this movie to anyone who's a fan of the B-movie/soft-core genre....sure, it's not "A" quality, but there's lots of skin and explosions to make up for that!

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1 out of 1 people found the following comment useful :-
the magic's gone, 12 May 2008
2/10
Author: movieman_kev from United States

The last of Andy Sidaris's 'bullets and boobs' flicks is sadly the least accomplished, whereas the others had reasonably fun plots (threadbare as they were) to go along with the copious amounts of nudity on display, this one was just dreary & lifeless a mere shell of what these films were in their heyday (from 1985-1994) Very sad to say that the fun and magic of those films just isn't present in this one.

Eye Candy: Julie K. Smith, Julie Strain, & Carrie Westcott provide ample T&A; Shae Marks shows everything

My Grade: D

DVD Extras: Introduction with Andy and Julie Strain; Director's Commantery; 37 minute Behind the scenes featurette (featuring abundant nudity); Production Stills; Andy Sidaris filmography; web-links; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for 11 other Sidaris films (all with abundant nudity)

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The big guns are back... one last time (#12), 28 May 2008
4/10
Author: sheenafilm from Hamburg, Germany

With the tagline „The big guns are back", director Andy Sidaris returned to Savage Beach, almost a decade after the original „Savage Beach" movie. The title song is played while we watch the ladies swimming - pretty well aiming at the style of a Bond title sequence. Shae Marks looks like Lara Croft in her early (oversized) days when she enters Savage Beach in a tank top. Such elements of pop culture are nicely used again for an action flick that seems a bit confused in its first half, and sometimes uses annoying flashbacks, but later the loose ends are tied successfully, while another song named „Which ending does this story have?" ironically explains that confusing the audience needs to be a part of the show. Marcus Bagwell, the Warrior from „Day of the Warrior", helps the good guys this time, and Julie K. Smith gets the funniest scene when she can demonstrate her idea of punishing „bad boys". This is the last one out of 12 Andy Sidaris movies I reviewed, certainly not the best among them because it's a bit of a patchwork and lacks new ideas (well, there was a submarine at least), but I have to congratulate the ensemble since they never put out a real bore in all these years - and that, by the way, was the strong point: ensemble. With the exception of "Malibu Express", there was never only one star, it's always about team-play.

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like Magnum PI meets VIP, 17 November 2007
10/10
Author: hillbillyfromhell from United States

*** This comment may contain spoilers ***

I love Andy Sidaris films and this is one of my favorite. Why? Because it's ridiculous. None of the 'actors' can act, they're all looks. This is the world of sexy espionage where all the secret agents are smokin hot. Shae Marks and Julie K. SMith have some of the largest implanted boobs you'll see in a non-adult type movie. And ladies, don't think this is sexist either as Sidaris has you covered with muscular slick studs as the big-boobed women's counterparts.

Oh yes, this one has it all, folks.

Yeah, I know they hype Julie Strain as the star but most of the film she just sits around at their beach-front(?!??) HQ and reads lines with such lack of enthusiasm you can almost see the cue cards. But she's great compared to Paul Logan, the studly muscle-guy who obviously is cast because of his great acting ability....yeah, sure....I commend Sidaris for always having guys like this in his films because he's not neglecting any female viewers.

Did I mention Shae Marks and Julie K. Smith's massive mammaries? The scene at the end when they finally get to savage beach and are both in matching outfits, hubba hubba!!!! Likewise, the scene with Shae in a business suit early on is quite sexy, too. I've heard she got her implants removed- what a shame.

Andy Sidaris passed away this year. He got his start doing NFL football as well as the Olympics. His producer was his wife. His dvds were packed with all kinds of great extras and he came across as just a great guy who enjoyed making action-packed movies filled with attractive casts, and filmed in exotic locations.

RIP, Andy

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Joyless and unexciting, 31 December 2006
4/10
Author: gridoon

"Return to Savage Beach" inevitably draws comparisons with its predecessor, "Savage Beach" (1989), and these comparisons aren't favorable: for one thing, the exotic locations are captured with much less flair this time around, and for another, Shae Marks and Julie K. Smith are no Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton. With those two, you could almost forget that they were former Playboy Playmates and accept them as B-movie actresses; with these two, you can never do that (also, this film proves that there is such a thing as "too much silicon"). Everything here is recycled: the jokes, the weapons, the actors, even footage from "Savage Beach". Julie Strain looks bored, and Christian Letelier wins the "so bad it's funny" award for his line-reading. Carrie Westcott is marginally hotter than the other girls, due to the perpetual look of contempt on her face. You know something is wrong when a pro-wrestler (Marcus "Buff" Bagwell) actually does the most enjoyable acting in the movie! (*1/2)

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