Memorable quotes for
Election (1999) More at IMDbPro »

[all praying to God]
Tracy Flick: Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with you and ask for things, but now, I really must insist that you help me win the election tomorrow because I deserve it and Paul Metzler doesn't, as you well know. I realize that it was your divine hand that disqualified Tammy Metzler and now I'm asking that you go that one last mile and make sure to put me in office where I belong so that I may carry out your will on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.
Tammy Metzler: Dear God, I know I don't believe in you, but since I'll be starting catholic school soon, I though I should at least practice. Let's see. What do I want? I want Lisa to realize what a bitch she is and feel really bad and apologize for how she hurt me and know how much I still love her. In spite of everything, I still want Paul to win the election tomorrow, not that cunt Tracy. Oh, and I also want a really expensive pair of leather pants and someday, I wanna be really good friends with Madonna. Love, Tammy.
Paul Metzler: Dear God, than you for all your blessings. You've given me so many things, like good health, nice parents, a nice truck, and what I'm told is a large penis, and I'm very grateful, but I sure am worried about Tammy. In my heart, I still can't believe she tore down my posters, but sometimes, she does get so weird and angry. Please help her be a happier person because she's so smart and sensitive and I love her so much. Also, I'm nervous about the election tomorrow and I guess I want to win and all, but I know that's totally up to you. You'll decide who the best person is and I'll accept it. And forgive me for my sins, whatever they may be. Amen.

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Tammy Metzler: It's not like I'm a lesbian or anything. I'm attracted to the person. It's just that all the people I've been attracted to happen to be girls.

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[brainstorming campaign slogans]
Paul Metzler: Paul Power... Paul for President... Paul... Promise... Progress... Peanut...

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Tammy Metzler: If you died right now, I would throw myself under one of my Dad's cement trucks so I could be poured into your tomb.

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Paul Metzler: My leg wasn't bugging me too much, and the weather was so nice, and every day after school Lisa and I would go to her house to fuck and have a hot tub.

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Tammy Metzler: Sometimes when I'm sad, I sit and watch the power station. They say if you lie between two of the main wires, your body just evaporates... you become a gas. I wonder what that would feel like.

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Tracy Flick: [narrating] None of this would have happened if Mr. McAllister hadn't meddled the way he did. He should have just accepted things as they are instead of trying to interfere with destiny. You see, you can't interfere with destiny. That's why it's destiny. And if you try to interfere, the same thing's going to happen anyway, and you'll just suffer.

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Tammy Metzler: [her campaign speech] Who cares about this stupid election? We all know it doesn't matter who gets elected president of Carver. Do you really think it's going to change anything around here; make one single person smarter or happier or nicer? The only person it does matter to is the one who gets elected. The same pathetic charade happens every year, and everyone makes the same pathetic promises just so they can put it on their transcripts to get into college. So vote for me, because I don't even want to go to college, and I don't care, and as president I won't do anything. The only promise I will make is that if elected I will immediately dismantle the student government, so that none of us will ever have to sit through one of these stupid assemblies again!
[Student body erupts in huge cheers]
Tammy Metzler: Or don't vote for me... who cares? Don't vote at all!
[more cheers]

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Paul Metzler: I sure was surprised the day Lisa Flanagan asked me for a ride home and ended up blowing me.

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Tracy Flick: It's like my mom says, "The weak are always trying to sabatoge the strong."

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Tammy Metzler: [narrating] Being suspended is like getting a paid vacation. Why do they think it's a punishment? It's like your dog pees on the carpet and you give him a treat. Then you get in trouble for skipping school, it's sooo stupid! Hendricks told me, "One more time" and I'd be expelled. Sounded good to me.

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Jim McAllister: Dave, I'm just saying this as your friend: What you're doing is really, really wrong... and you've gotta stop. The line you've crossed is... it's immoral... and it's illegal.
Dave Novotny: Jim, come on, I don't need a lecture on ethics.
Jim McAllister: I'm not talking about ethics, I'm talking about morals.
Dave Novotny: What's the difference?

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[Jim McAllister watches porn in his basement]
Adult Video Actor: Crystal! What are you doing here in the boy's locker room?
Adult Video Actress: Come to see the star quarterback before the big game.
Adult Video Actor: But what if Coach Henderson walks in?
Adult Video Actress: Oh, that's okay, I took care of him. So, uh, whatya reading?
Adult Video Actor: Oh, I'm just reviewing my playbook.
Adult Video Actress: I know a play we can practice: You be quarterback, I'll be tight-end.

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[during sex with Jim]
Diane McAllister: You gonna do it? Come on. Fill me up! Come on! Fill me up! Yeah! Good job!

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Jim McAllister: Larry, we're not electing the fucking Pope here. Just tell me who won.

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[narrating]
Tracy Flick: When I think back on my relationship with Mr. Novotny, what I miss most... is our talks.

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Jim McAllister: Who the fuck does she think she is?

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Jim McAllister: Paul, what is your favorite fruit?
Paul Metzler: Pears.
Jim McAllister: Okay, now...
Paul Metzler: No wait! Apples.
Jim McAllister: Great, now say that everyday you had an apple. An apple, an apple and more apples. You probably thought that apples were pretty good, even if you got a rotten one every once in awhile. Then one day there was an orange. Now you can choose, do you want an apple or do you want an orange? That's democracy.
Paul Metzler: I also like bananas.
Jim McAllister: Exactly!

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Tracy Flick: Good morning, Mr. M. Looks like you could use a CUPCAKE!

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Jim McAllister: Linda never came home. I know, because I waited 10 hours outside her house.

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[last lines]
Jim McAllister: Anybody?

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Jim McAllister: [while counting the votes, he sees Tracy in the hall looking into the room] The sight of Tracy at that moment affected me in a way I can't fully explain. Part of it was that she was spying; but mostly it was her face. Who knew how high she would climb in life? How many people would suffer because of her? I had to stop her... now!

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Jim McAllister: [narrating] What happens to a man when he loses everything? Everything he's worked for... everything he believes in? Driven from his home... cast out of society... how can he survive? Where can he go? New York City! For centuries people have come to New York seeking refuge from their troubled lives. Now I am one of them.

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Dave Novotny: [in reference to Tracy] Her pussy gets so wet you can't believe it.

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Tracy Flick: You might think it upset me that Paul Metzler had decided to run against me but nothing could be further from the truth. He was no competition for me; it was like apples and oranges. I had to work a little harder, that's all, see I believe in the voters; they understand that elections aren't just popularity contests, they know this country was built by people just like me who work very hard and don't have everything handed to them on a silver spoon. Not like some rich kids who everybody likes because their fathers owns Metzlers cement and give them trucks on their 16th birthday and throw them big parties all the time. No, they don't ever have to work for anything. They think they can just all of a sudden one day out of the blue waltz right in with no qualifications what's so ever and try to take away what other people have worked very, very hard for their entire lives. No, it didn't bother me at all.

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Tracy Flick: I don't know what you're referring to, but maybe if certain older, wiser people hadn't acted like such little babies, and gotten so mushy, then everything would be ok... and I think certain older people, like you, and your colleague, shouldn't be leching after their students, especially when some of them can't even get their own wives pregnant... and they certainly shouldn't be making slanderous accusations, especially when certain young, naive peoples' mothers are paralegal secretaries at the cities biggest law firm, and have won many successful law suits, and if you want to keep questioning me like this, I won't continue without my attorney present.

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Jim McAllister: [mocking the students] Mr.McAllister. Mr.McAllister. Somebody's torn down my poster. It's not fair. Can I get an A? Can I get a recommendation? Can I? Can I? Fuck them.

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