This MOS porn film, with overly cutesy narration, doesn't amount to much but does deliver the requisite XXX footage. Authorship is in question.
Credited to one "L. Wilson", it has voice-over for the title character by Anthony Spinelli, but no other clues to indicate that he also directed it. Opening credits list it as a "Brass release", nothing to do with Tinto, and another dead end.
Format is familiar, a bed telling its history as a structure for sex vignettes, identical to the later German film THE SINFUL BED. Gimmick here is that a female mattress delivered to the bed's room listens to his tales, and treats him to one of her own.
First sex vignette is a romantic period piece from the Civil War in which a buxom blonde is serviced by a Johnny Reb, as harpsichord music plays. Notable here is her sexy (and anachronistic) lingerie, and the soldier's amazing money shot in a Peter North mode.
Next bed tale is set in NYC during Prohibition with newlyweds having sex. Groom resembles Franklin Anthony (who I recently saw starring in AVALON CALLING). He next is serviced by a mature maid making up the bed, whose pantyhose are another anachronism. The bride joins in later for a threesome. This lengthy middle section of the film plays strictly like stag loops rather than a real porn movie.
Finale is related by the mattress, noting that while still at the warehouse a couple made love atop her. They're played by Nina Fause and Paul Scharf, who also co-star in another feature (DIARY OF A SCHIZO) packaged on the same DVD release as BED. Fause is just too pretty for porn -it's hard to imagine why she needed the (meager) bread so bad.
With copious money shots and a decent cast, DIARY OF A BED is slightly better than the mediocre standard of early '70s porn. It's extremely silly ending has the voice-over bed (named John) and mattress (named Mary) falling in love. Disney was often criticized for anthropomorphizing its animated critters, but here a porn maven goes Walt one better with inanimate objects.