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Roberta Findlay (screenplay)
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Got a Problem? Ask Pam Slanders, America's Sexiest Advice Columnist. But Remember, Do As She Says Not As She Does!
The Decency and Morality League is about to award Pam Slanders, advice columnist, the "Most Moral Woman of the Year" award. She tells them about her toughest "case", a man whose stepdaughter, secretary and other women trouble him. | Add synopsis »
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Unfunny but sexy porn comedy from Roberta Findlay See more (1 total) »


  (in credits order)
Crystal Sync ... Pam Slanders
Jennifer Jordan ... Rose Cumming
C.J. Laing ... Gladys Mygrain
Lorraine Alraune ... Jean Kumkwik (as Beverly Bovy)
Ginger Snaps ... Sandy Phallis
Roberta Findlay ... Miss Klug (as Anna Riva)

John Holmes ... Richard Grandik (as John Holmes/Johnny Wadd)
Tony Perez ... Barton Fartblow
Eric Edwards ... Harry Phallis
Howard Humper ... Karl - a Waiter
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Jeffrey Hurst ... Chef/Waiter at Party (uncredited)
Slim Pickins ... Themselves (uncredited)
Marlene Willoughby ... Girl at Party (archive footage) (uncredited)

Directed by
Roberta Findlay  (as Harold Hindgrind)
Writing credits
Roberta Findlay (screenplay) (as Harold Hindgrind)

Original Music by
Slim Pickins 
Cinematography by
Roberta Findlay (director of photography) (as Anna Riva)
Film Editing by
Roberta Findlay  (as Robby Chipitoff)
Sound Department
David Hill .... sound (as Alex Feedbak)
Special Effects by
Bobby Blowout .... special effects
Camera and Electrical Department
Tony Charles .... electrician (as Harry Spargap)
Doug Miles .... lighting (as Larry Thunderfart)
Zinzy Pullertit .... key grip
Other crew
Harmon Killacunt .... security
Crew believed to be complete

Production CompaniesDistributorsOther Companies

Additional Details

84 min | 78 min (DVD-R edition)
Sound Mix:
Finland:(Banned) (1986) | USA:X (self applied)

Did You Know?

This film is half of Bucky Beaver's Dragon Art Theatre Triple XXX-Rated Double Feature Volume 205 (2006) DVD-R from Something Weird Video.See more »
Miscellaneous: Jennifer Jordan's character is listed as "Rose Cumming" in the film's credits. In fact, Jordan's character name is "Rose Cummings" (with an "s").See more »
Barton Fartblow:After all, children do need their rest!See more »


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3 out of 3 people found the following review useful.
Unfunny but sexy porn comedy from Roberta Findlay, 6 December 2010
Author: lor_ from New York, New York

DEAR PAM fits historically as one of Roberta Findlay's "big-dick" films, to locate its filing bin in today's virtual porn store. Tony (The Hook) Perez, so memorable in Findlay's hit ANYONE BUT MY HUSBAND, is back, with John Holmes as his inevitable penile rival. They also teamed up in another Findlay hit, SWEET PUNKIN.

Trying way too hard for laughs (they're aren't any to be found), one-woman filmmaker Findlay has Crystal Sync starring as advice columnist Pam Slanders, first seen masturbating with a dildo under desk (which "comically" pops out of her vagina suddenly during a later meeting, hardy-har-har). A delegation from the Decency & Morality League (made up of Perez, Holmes and Findlay regular Jennifer Jordan) tells Pam they've nominated her for the "Most Moral Woman of the Year" award.

To secure the award win, she gives them a just-received letter from a reader, which Jordan reads aloud, cueing a series of vignettes illustrating its contents. It was sent in by Harry Phallis (wait for the laugh), played by Eric Edwards, whose misadventures spur the action. To confirm that this goof-ball letter is authentic, each of the 3 Decency folks seeks out Edwards and the personages he wrote about, cueing some fun sexual romps.

Perhaps controversial, though I doubt it, is the film's emphasis on pedophilia. Edwards' 14-year-old stepdaughter Sandy (played by Ginger Snaps, who looks pretty young) is sleeping when he "accidentally" (see the movie) gets into her bed, and he ends up making love to her, with the excuses from the letter of "I better do what she wants - a child needs her sleep - I mustn't wake her up". Turns out she was fooling him all along.

When Perez shows up, Sandy seduces him too with a very silly and infantile approach, pulling out his 13-inch Johnson after wondering if it's a "broken limb" and then confusing it with a banana that she wants to taste. It's all in bad taste, but fodder for porn fans.

Film ends up in a lengthy orgy scene where Findlay pulls out all the stops, having Holmes deep throated by two different women, including C.J. Laing, cast as Edwards' new secretary.

By the way, I recently watched the Mitchell Bros.' quality Victorian porn opus AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FLEA, touted as the first porn film directed by a woman (Sharon McNight). Sorry, Findlay went hardcore two years earlier.

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