The Other Sister (1999)
Carla Tate: I wonder who thought up sex in the first place, Danny?
Daniel McMann: I-I think it was Madonna, actually.
Daniel McMann: Look at the buses, watch 'em.
Carla Tate: Why, what are they gonna do?
Daniel McMann: They pull in, and then they pull out, and they turn, and they back up.
[after watching a couple do a body shot in a bar]
Carla Tate: Normal couples don't do that. They're from college.
Carla Tate: No matter how long I wait I can't be a painter, and I can't play tennis, and I'm not an artist. But I know how to do something, and I can love.
[to his wife about their daughters]
Dr. Radley Tate: Honey, you're doing fine. They're not drug addicts; they're not axe murderers. ...They're not *Democrats*.
Daniel McMann: I love you every minute. I love you more than band music and cookie-making.
Daniel McMann: I love to drink, Ernie.
Daniel McMann: Yeah, it makes ya feel good. Is that why people drink?
Ernie: Some to be happy, some to forget, some to be brave.
Daniel McMann: Ya know, I feel really brave, Ernie.
Ernie: No, only cowards get brave that way.
Carla Tate: [quoting one of her teachers] Yeah, and she also told me that people like us, they - boys can try to take advantage and that they'll try to coitus us. So if that should ever happen, to say, "No!"
Elizabeth: Oh. Okay.
Carla Tate: "Stop right there!"
Elizabeth: Good. That's excellent advice. What else did she say to you?
Carla Tate: "Don't put gum under the cafeteria table! How many times do I have to tell you?"
Carla Tate: Have you ever done it before?
Daniel McMann: Well, yeah, kind of. You see the guys at work, they chipped in and they found this girl and she had a reputation. There was a lot of kissing and hugging and a lot of rubbing, and I kind of finished before I was supposed to. You have to be a guy to understand that.
Daniel McMann: Are you ready? Cause I'm ready!
Carla Tate: No Daniel, uh, I'm not ready.
Daniel McMann: Ohh
Carla Tate: I was thinking we could wait 'til the next holiday cause holidays are special.
Daniel McMann: oh cause I feel special right now Carla.
Heather: Mother, being gay is not a diagnosis. It's not a disease I'm going to recover from, or a phase I'm going to outgrow.
Elizabeth: I know what being gay is, okay? I give to gay causes. I support gay parades. They even gave me a plaque.
Heather: Yes! So why support them and not me?
Elizabeth: I feel like I'm the mother of a dedicated underachiever, a gay workaholic, and Carla, who thinks she can conquer this whole terrifying world that we live in.
Dr. Radley Tate: Honey, you're doing fine. They're not drug addicts. They're not axe murderers. They're not *Democrats.*
Elizabeth: I also enrolled her in a calligraphy class, an origami class. I even got her into that...
Dr. Johnson: She doesn't want to do those things. They don't interest her. They don't work for her.
Elizabeth: Maybe Carla doesn't know what works for her.
Dr. Johnson: And you do.
Elizabeth: I think so. I'm her mother.
Dr. Johnson: That's why she tried to hitchhike over 200 miles to get back here?
Elizabeth: [getting emotional] I didn't want to put her in that place! But I had to. I had no other choice. She needed professional help. Now it is Carla turn, and I am going to protect her! And nobody's going to tell me how to do it, not even you, Radley. No!
Shoe Salesman: [whispering to Carla about Elizabeth] She's a little uptight.
Shoe Salesman: It-it's tight. This shoe's a little tight.
[Danny, dressed in a dog costume, is introducing himself to Elizabeth]
Daniel McMann: Don't worry, 'cause I've been house trained.
Daniel McMann: A-Another reason I got mad is 'cause I didn't want you to think I was dumb.
Carla Tate: I could never think that.
[Danny is proposing to Carla, right in the middle of Caroline's wedding]
Dr. Radley Tate: You know, I thought our worst problem was gonna be parking.