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A hive of South American, killer ants has been lying dormant in Alaska for ten years until seismic activity causes subterranean warming, awakening the ants. While many residents of Burley Pines, Alaska are being eaten alive, a small group races to survive and to find a way to stop the ruthless ants. Written by
Greg W. Anderson
Well this movie was completely insane. Where to begin? I won't bore you with any details because its not worth me typing any of the names of characters and only there is an "famous entomologist from LA", a teacher, a kid and a cop who we will refer to as xfiles since he played Asst. Dep. Skinner on the show.
Well now, shall we begin with the Oscar worthy script complete with plot holes the size of the CGI ants the feast on the human flesh. Some magical force of nature has cause a popular salmon fishing hot spot in Alaska to have increased subterranean temperature. This causes the salmon to flee and a unusual increase in the number of earthquakes. Ants begin to invade. Killer ants. When asked the question later of where there ants came from: "Have any boats been in dock?/ Yes, actually last week./ Was it from South America?/ Yes, Actually." These ants are rare because they only travel on roads. Cleverly they wait until humans discover them and their giant nest to decide to go on on all out rampage on society.
When someone gets eaten by ants they are replaced by fully clothed skeletons with a wig on. Apparently ants lick the bones clean. It was delicious.
The solution xfiles comes up with is to blow up the pass with dynamite if they cant eradicate them by Saturday (arbitrarily). This is the 20th century, even if they blow up the pass we don't have to wait for a wagon to take an extra 2 months to go over the mountains. And the ants have been crawling around underground, so blowing up the pass, although seething with seemingly cunning genius would ultimately prove to be mentally retarded and the ants would be unaffected.. sort of like challenging millions of ants with a revolver while belaying down a cliff, but i guess he had to open the locked door of the trailer and the revolver ended up being a key part. Why's that trailer there in the middle of a huge valley again?
Wait until you see the flame thrower scene. Here they try to burn a nest of ants with a flame throw that needs to be manually pumped. Listen as the entomologist tells the teacher to "Pump Harder" and her respond "I'm Trying" Then as ants crawl up her pants and on her feet, he turns and unleashes a s fury of flame over her feet, successfully destroying all ants without rendering her pants or shoes slightly burned. They then hop in a canoe. Then randomly hit a stretch of white water and as it turns out amazingly and quite conveniently, that they are both expert white water canoers. Watch for the ideally placed logs.
The ants will later burrow underneath people, pulling them under reminding us of the movie "Tremors". They then go on all assault including what appears to be some sort of explosive device. Fortunetly the entomologist remembers that he studies this for a living and comes up with a plan. Dstrpy the queen.
The plan itself is both idiotic and asinine. See it to believe it but know it includes a dam, 3 bundles of dynamite, 1 shovel, 1 lighter, an earthquake,a helicopter, and ants. The only thing that could have made this movie better would have been the appearance of Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal to fight each other to be the king of the ants and lead them to prosperity in Los Angeles. If either are reading... My people will call your people. I smell sequel.
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