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Quotes

[after Cartman makes a remark about Jews]

Kyle: Don't you oppress me, fat boy!

Cartman: Don't call me fat, buttfucker!

Kyle: Then don't belittle my people you fuckin' fatass!

Cartman: GODDAMMIT, DON'T CALL ME FAT, YOU BUTTFUCKING SONOFABITCH!

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Kyle: OH MY GOD! They've killed Kenny!

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Santa: Ho, ho ho! We meet again, Jesus!

Jesus: You have blemished the meaning of Christmas for the last time, Kringle!

Santa: I bring happiness and love to children all over the world!

Jesus: Christmas is for celebrating my birth!

Santa: Christmas is for giving!

Jesus: I'm here to put an end to your blasphemy!

Santa: This time we finish it! There can be only one!

Stan: Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.

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Stan: Dude, we've got to think, here! What would Brian Boitano do?

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Brian Boitano: Did someone say my name?

Stan: Hey look, it's Brian Boitano!

Kyle: What incredible irony!

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Jesus: Behold my glory!

Stan: Holy shit! It's Jesus!

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Jesus: I come seeking retribution!

Stan: He's come to kill you 'cause you're Jewish, Kyle!

Kyle: Oh, FUCK! I'm sorry Jesus, don't kill me!

Jesus: Nay, fear not, I love all my children!

Kyle: Whew!

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Jesus: Tomorrow is my birthday, yet all is not right.

Stan: Your birthday is on Christmas? That sucks, dude!

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Cartman: Hey! Goddamnit, you stepped on my foot, you pig-fucker!

Stan: Dude, don't say "pig-fucker" in front of Jesus!

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Stan: Yeah. And you know? I think I learned something today, it doesn't matter if you're Christian or Jewish or Atheist or Hindu. Christmas still is about one very important thing.

Cartman: Yeah, ham.

Stan: No not ham, you fat fuck!

Cartman: Fuck you!

Stan: Christmas is about something much more important.

Kyle: What?

Stan: Presents.

Kyle: Ah.

Stan: Don't you see, Kyle? Presents.

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Cartman: I say we help Santa Claus.

Kyle: Your just saying that because he brings you candy.

Cartman: Hey I don't have to take that kind of shit from a Jew.

Kyle: Your such a fat fuck Cartman that when you walk down the street people go god damnit that kids a big fat fuck.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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