Distraught over the media's nonstop coverage of her, Britney Spears attempts to commit suicide, but survives despite blowing the top half of her head off. Disgusted by this treatment of her, the boys attempt to help, only to learn the secret behind the media's cruel scrutiny of celebrities.
South Park declares cats illegal after kids start getting high on cat urine. Cartman starts hiding neighborhood cats in his attic to protect them, and Kenny becomes an addict and starts having Heavy Metal (1981) hallucinations.
A class field trip to a frontier park turns into a hostage situation when a group of robbers use the park to evade the police, but the park employees won't help resolve the situation because they won't get out of character.
With Craig's help, the boys start up a Peruvian pan flute band to make money. However, they are detained by Homeland Security and sent to Peru to end the "Pandemic." In the pan flute bands' absence, giant guinea pigs invade South Park.
Craig and the boys are stranded in the Andes Mountains while giant guinea pigs wreak havoc all over the planet. Craig is the only person who can end the terror, but he doesn't care and won't do anything about it.
While the rest of the nation is distracted by the results of the presidential election, Barack Obama and John McCain set out to complete their true combined objective: a daring "Ocean's Eleven" style jewel heist.
The boys try to resist the "High School Musical" fad when it hits South Park Elementary, while also trying to convince the school's top singer that he should follow his dream and try out for the basketball team.