|Page 10 of 353:||               |
|Index||3521 reviews in total|
"Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace" was one of the most
colossally disappointing films I've ever seen in my life. Now comes the
second installment in George Lucas's prequel trilogy to the epic
narrative that broke box office records and set standards for
generations to come. The second movie detailing the past of Darth
Vader, "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" is a little bit
better, but that's not quite enough to make it a recommendable movie.
It's close, but not quite. If it only they had thrown out Jar-Jar Binks
(yes, I still cringe every time I think of that bumbling, frog-like
freak), patched up some mediocre dialogue, reworked this sappy love
story, and captured a better sense of the magic that we require for a
Star Wars movie, it would have worked.
In this one, Anakin Skywalker is grown up to a young Jedi and played by Hayden Christianson. Since Qui-Gon's dead, he is being taught by Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor). While Obi-Wan's out fighting evil, Anakin begins a forbidden romance with Padme (Natalie Portman) and of course, well, trouble begins and lasers are blasting and...yeah....
Now, I have nothing against a love story. Some of my all-time favorite movies are love stories. But I require two things: a good story and a conviction that the lovers are in deed, in love. I got neither of those from this. The 'romance' between Christianson and Portman is very shallow with utterly ridiculous and hammy dialogue such as "to me, you will always be that little boy on Tatooine." Thus, in the end, this subplot is boring, tiresome, and sappy. Not a good combination and not what we want to see in any element of a Star Wars movie. I thought Jack Lloyd was not a very good young Anakin Skywalker in "The Phantom Menace" and Hayden Christianson is awkward and wasted here in a miscast role. Again, with this, we need to have that daunting feeling that Anakin, young, innocent, and loyal to the Jedi will one day betray them and become a cold-blooded killer. We don't get that feeling. Because the original narrative and this new one don't seem to be related beyond plot. The original trilogy was artistic, imaginative, and realized good characters and stories. This new one is just like a hokey video game.
Unfortunately, the screenplay entire is crippled by bad dialogue and unnecessary characters. However, I am not going to trash on this movie too much, because I must admit, it was very close for me. There was more of an adventurous sense to the picture, which was absent in "The Phantom Menace", and I really enjoyed some parts including a scene where Anakin, Padme, and Obi-Wan have to fight with three alien monsters in a ring very much like the gladiatorial fights of Ancient Rome. And thankfully, Jar-Jar Binks has a much smaller part in this picture. That's always a relief. Overall, it's not too bad of a picture. It's tolerable, but it doesn't quite deserve to bear the words Star Wars in its title. Thankfully, by the third prequel, "Revenge of the Sith", things would improve.
Existing among Star Wars non-apologists are subdivisions who realized at different moments that this film was beyond repair. For some, it was immediately, upon witnessing Padme Amidala's courageous bout with danger and learning that female planetary monarchs are subject to term limits! Another faction of viewers might take issue with Anakin Skywalker's evolution from a bratty little eight-year-old to a whining, spoiled teenager (as I'm sure Lucas intended all along). Nevertheless, few can contradict that the clear point of no return was Yoda, now reduced to a CGI. Decently portrayed in The Empire Strikes Back as a wise teacher, the little green guy here is everything and everywhere at once. First he presides over the Jedi Council (ok, I think the whole council thing has been played out about a thousand times over in science fiction). Next we see him teaching Jedi nursery school, going so far as having his pupils greet Ewan MacGregor with "Helll ohhhh Mass Terrrr Obeeeeee Wannnnn" as pronounced in younglingspeak. Later on, he appears as a George Patton-like General in the heat of battle, uttering what will surely be the century's most ridiculous line: "Around the survivors a perimeter create!!!" erasing any remaining doubt of Lucas's incompetence in writing dialogue. After such horrible silliness, the average cinema patron is not even phased by the so-called Jedi Master's swordfight, which is so fast that it looks like Kermit the Frog working late in a meth lab without a mask.
To the droves of Star Wars fans still out there: Please, please, stop fooling yourselves. I know that it is terribly painful to admit, but this film is NO improvement over Episode I, in fact I saw it as yet another BIG slip in the series. The SW films truly ran out of steam with Return of the Jedi TWO long decades ago. Clones/Episode II has the poorest of everything you can think of...direction (or lack of direction), acting (utterly laughable...the actor, Hayden Christensen, hired to anchor the absolute core of the entire series CAN NOT ACT), plot (oh please), effects (yes, even the tired special effects...how many times can you laser blast the enemy and still get the audience to go "Oooh!"??). Sorry folks, this film is a MAJOR piece of junk. It's not even close to being something worthy of upholding the lore and mystique created by the first two films way back when. And they're making ANOTHER one??? Holy crow...
Painful to watch. A truly dreadful film. A drillion dollars in special effects cannot compensate for two-dimensional, wooden characters and stilted dialogue. Whenever Keanu Reeves finally dies, Hayden Christenson will be the worst actor in the universe. Samuel L. Jackson repeated the role he's used to great success in every film he's ever been in; he takes himself far too seriously. And why haven't these brilliant Jedi Knights ever figured out that if they just put wrist-straps on their light sabers they won't drop them just out of reach every 15 seconds? Yes, the fight scenes and graphics were outstanding. Unfortunately, that's not enough to make a great film. Sorry George, but Elian Gonzales could have done a better job. The money would have been better spent renting the space shuttle and launching Hayden Christenson to a distant galaxy.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
WARNING. MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS. IN FACT, THE MOVIE ITSELF WAS SPOILED!
A New Hope. The Empire Strikes Back Return of the Jedi The Phantom Menace.... These are all pretty cool names, which is fitting, seeing as how Star Wars is the coolest movie series ever created by man. Then, we get Attack of the Clones. The name alone is disapointing. I think that the brilliant writer who created the characters of luke Skywalker, Han Solo and the like could come up with a better name than that, but unfortunately, the lame name is not the only problem with this movie. Problem number one is with the characters. The battle droids were bad enough in episode one, but then Lucas had to revive the walking scrap heaps for this one too, in which they were much dumber, and more boring, even the new, re-vamped "super battle droids". I mean, if the frickin gungans could wipe these guys out in ep. 1, why did the Jedi have such a hard time. Which brings me to another lame character. actually, multiople lame characters. The jedi in this movie were crap. Except for Yoda, Mace Windu, and Obi Wan, all we saw were a bunch of tentacle-headed, retarded looking alien farts with lightsabers. AND WHY THE CRAP WAS JAR JAR IN THIS PICTURE!?!?!?!?!?! Lucas must know that anyone above the age of two and a half hated Binks' guts. If he had to put him in the movie, he should at least killed him off. But no! Now we'll probably be stuck with binks in ep. 3, and even in the NEW SUPER ULTRA SPECIAL EDITION STAR WARS, in which he will be digitally imposed into the original trilogy as a special cameo. Great. Wonderful. Just what we need. Problem number 2. Okay, don't get me wrong, I love computer effects as much as the next guy, but there is such a thing as TOO MUCH!!! For cryin out loud, now even Yoda has to be cgi. I can understand a computer animated yoda for the fight scene, but throughout the rest of the movie, the only vestige of the real Yoda is Frank Oz's brilliant voicing. I mean, if they could make it look great with puppets in the 70's, why can't they now? Problem numero 3. Hayden Crapstensen. That is how i will now refer to this stinkbomb of an actor. No, not even an actor. A glamourized pretty boy who happens to look a little like what jake Lloyd may look like ten years from now. This guy was whinier, wimpier, and all around annoying-er than even Jar Jar. I absoluytely hated every scene he was in, which is sad, because most of his scenes were alongside Ewan McGregor, whose brilliant (as always) performance was the only thing that kept me alive during the movie. Now, dont get me wrong, there were still some good things about this flick. number one, Jango Fett. This guy was so cool, it made me forget what a retard young boba was in this movie. number 2, Mace Windu. Now, im not a big fan of sam JAckson, but he was just plain awesome as the coolest jedi ever to walk the streets of Coruscant. Number 3, Obi Wan Kenobi. The sole voice of reason, logic, and sanity in this movie. Too bad the action figure looks like it came out of a happy meal. And of Course, number 4, YODA! I only wish we could have seen him fighting more, because the short duel with the geriatrics poster boy Christopher Lee (who is a fine actor, but was duped into playing a lame character) was just not enough to satisfy my craving for midgit swordplay.
Overall, out of a possible 10, I give Attack of the Clones a 3
Well, the very disappointing Episode I really got me off wanting to see
more new Star Wars, but as I had some free time I watched it on
television when it was on.
This movie does not show any promise in the beginning, and after the ridiculous chase sequence I already gave up hope. The things that happen in this chase are totally preposterous: after the 'shortcut' Anakin jumps out of his craft and drops a mile and still ends up to catch the one they chased; moments later he loses his lightsaber. But no fear, Obi Wan incredibly has caught up to them and can catch the saber with two fingers. OK, the force is great, but this is stretching it a bit, isn't it?.
The movie then splits in two stories (as Empire did): One follows Anakin and Amidala and as the two young ones just need to fall in love, no one bothered to write any interesting dialogue. Anakin turns into a sissy for a while and whines a lot as Amidala wants to stretch the running time of the movie and holds of falling in love proper. Anakin then wants to prove he's not a sissy and decides to go off and rescue his mother, never forgetting that he needs to fall in love by the end of the movie. To makes sure this happens Amidala just tags along not doing anything really.
The other story then: Obi Wan leaves the two kids and promptly goes off visiting a lot of special effects. After walking around in corridors for about ten minutes, talking to a few CGI characters, he decides to fall of a roof and then chases Fett Senior and Junior around some more special effects. In the planet he's lead to he then discovers Christopher Lee, also talking to CGI characters. He then gets caught by some more special effects and needs to be rescued
Meanwhile Anakin is getting quite desperate and decides to take Amidala and go and rescue Obi Wan from all the special effects. After being captured and being reunited with Obi Wan, they decide to all fight the same special effects for once. After a while they temporarily turn into CGI characters themselves.
Finally, The Jedi and a huge army show up and save the day long enough to warrant a sequel.
Oh yes, almost forgot to mention: Anakin an Amadila get married at the end of this part. So do R2 and 3PO in he same ceremony, that explains why they argue so much in the original trilogy.
Well, now you know what happens, so you don't have to watch it. You can thank me later.
It took a while for me to figure out what really turned me off about the
last two Star Wars episodes. Sure there are the obvious things like bad
acting and go-nowhere scripts, as well as uninspired and unimaginitive
dialogue, but there was something else. Then, it hit me.
It was the cartoons! Call them CGI, call them what you will, they're cartoons in every sense of the word. There is hardly a scene in the last two Star Wars episodes without some kind of corny cartoonish Disneyesque figure dancing about in some exaggerated way.
What's wrong with cartoons on the screen? People don't take them seriously, and when you can't take what's happening on screen seriously it becomes hard to suspend your disbelief.
The first three movies relied on human actors, and the aliens were humans in alien costumes, not computer graphics. Conversations between human characters and computer generated cartoons don't work, and come off looking quite silly. I think in a few years we'll look back on the infancy of this media with a touch of disdain. Episode I and II, and probably III will not have the timeless appeal of IV, V, and VI because of it.
When I go to see a Star Wars movie I expect to see a Star Wars movie, not Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Sorry Roger, no disrespect).
Bring back the people! Lose the cartoonish "busyness" in every shot!
I liked Ep I more than most, and had high hopes for this one. When I looked
at imdb after the first few nights in theaters, read about Jar-Jar being
almost totally gone and how much better this part was, I was really excited.
I so wanted to like this movie.
But OUCH. Now first of all, the directing was utterly horrid. It was the worst part of Ep I as well, but Lucas really lost it here. The movie seemed to jump from scene to scene in the most illogical places, action scenes got interrupted, and just when you were getting into a better scene, you get hit with yet another boring "but I love you, but I am Jedi, oh no, boohoo"-scene. Excuse me, but since when has Star Wars been a soap opera instead of an adventure?
Furthermore, Haydensen was horrible, and even the old actors from Ep 1 seemed to have lost some of their interest. Most action scenes were either boring, badly directed or the effects really didn't look too good. I especially was opening my own wrists in the Arena shootout scene, looking at the princess just standing still and shooting around, without a hint of any kind of battle tactics or trying to take cover.
One scene, above all others, basically made me hurt, bad. The one with the princess and "Darth" on the meadow, riding a fat (bad CGI) blob, rolling around, laughing, jumping, kissing... God, me and my friends couldn't believe our eyes, how did that get into the film. Laughter was the only way to go.
Only in the very ending did the movie manage to create some of that good old star wars feeling, leaving some hope for a better Ep 3. I just wish lucas would give the directors seat to someone else...
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
LOVE STORY: unbelievably unconvincing and boring
GRAPHICS: not very inspired this time
ACTION: occasionally good, most of the time you think "what's the point".
LIGHT SABRE USAGE: MOST UNCOOL!!
SPOILER: expect to see a muppet and a senior citizen battle it out with telekinesis and neon signs.
I just watched this on DVD last night, having seen it in the theatre. I was
very disappointed when I watched the scenes that had been cut, as they
fleshed out the story a lot more than the final cut. You learned more about
the wasp creatures near the end of the film and why Dooku enlisted their
help. Padme's character was a lot more established as well in visits to her
parents house and in a confrontation with Dooku.
Many people have commented on the wooden acting of the two leads, which I somewhat agree with, but Christensen is not that bad an actor, and neither is Portman.
The problem with both this film and Phantom Menace is Lucas' dialogue. He writes lines which no actor, even in a fantasy movie, can say without sounding like they're reading them off of cue cards. This can be excused when the line is SF technobabble, but when it's supposed to be intimate romance it comes off as clumsy, forced, and utterly unbelievable. Considering that we KNOW the ultimate fate of each of these characters, these make scenes where they are put in peril uninteresting, since you already know they'll survive. Lucas really blew the chance at creating highly developed, memorable characters in my opinion.
In addition, both this and Phantom Menace sorely miss a solid supporting cast to the two cardboard character leads. Where is the Han Solo/Chewbacca/Lando of these movies? Watching the original trilogy, the chemistry between Han and Chewie gives the movies a much broader appeal than the soap opera Skywalker saga. Imagine the original trilogy with only Luke and Leia as the two main characters -- it'd be far less interesting!!!
Ewan McGregor is given a lot more to do in this film as Obi-Wan, and he acquits himself very well, although I think the scenes on the clone world would have been much better if he had been accompanied by Mace Windu. We almost always see Jedis travel in pairs, until Kenobi's solo visit. Christopher Lee does well in the limited screen time he's given. Samuel L. Jackson gives a one note performance as Mace Windu ... we're never convinced that he's as powerful a warrior as he's said to be. And when a CGI Yoda is the most expressive character in the film, you know something's just not right.
Lucas has really painted himself into a corner to deliver the goods in Episode III. In my opinion, to tie up all the loose ends he's created between Phantom Menace and this film, Episode III might have to be 4 hours long.
In summary, this is a decent film for fans of the Star Wars saga, and certainly better than Phantom Menace, but it still doesn't break much new ground. Compared to the colorful entertaining space opera of the first trilogy it's rather dull and predictable. Hopefully Episode III will give Star Wars fans a movie that can be held up to the high standards of the originals.
|Page 10 of 353:||               |
|Plot summary||Plot synopsis||Ratings|
|Awards||External reviews||Parents Guide|
|Official site||Plot keywords||Main details|
|Your user reviews||Your vote history|