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|Index||3521 reviews in total|
Disclaimer: I am 18 years old and until now I had never seen Star Wars.
While most people's view on Star Wars nowadays is clouded by nostalgia,
here is my unaffected take on these 'classics'. I'm watching in this
order: IV - V - I - II - III - VI
I found The Phantom Menace to be quite enjoyable. This sequel feels merely like an extension of it, with similar decent humor, writing and acting. Not a bad by any means, but definitely not an improvement either.
If anything, I would actually say that Attack of the Clones is slightly worse than its predecessor. The cast feels like a downgrade. Liam Neeson and (in my opinion) surprisingly charming Jake Lloyd have left the cast and Hayden Christensen has stepped in. Christensen's Anakin Skywalker feels odd, unpredictable and quite confusing. One second he is acting like he is about to turn evil, and then the next I'm supposed to be rooting for him? Maybe that is just how his character is written, with Skywalker being of his rebellious age, but it is not appreciated in my eyes.
Also, Yoda seems a bit off. I don't know how to explain it. He was really charming in IV and V, and I hardly payed much attention to him in I. But in this movie, I've noticed that he is not as funny anymore and his knick of rephrasing sentences has really started to wear off as entertaining.
Though as mentioned earlier, in almost all other aspects, Attack of the Clones is just a 'clone' (heh) of The Phantom Menace. It is just the slightly weaker cast that drags it down by comparison.
Not a bad movie. McGregor, Portman and most of the cast still shine. So does the writing and the action. I did enjoy this movie. But out of the ones I've seen so far, (IV, V, I, II) this is the 'worst' one yet.
But being 'worst' is far from being bad in this franchise, needless to say.
* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * *
Last year did not see many, if not any really good summer blockbuster movies. The usual clutch of commercial popcorn movies were hurled at us from those big wigs at Hollywood and one that stuck in my mind was this effort. Not because it was the best. Oh, no. Because it was undeniably in my opinion the biggest load of garbage since 'The Phantom Menace' three years previously.
Over the years George Lucas has released wave upon wave of movie as a producer that was not as big as the good yet over rated star wars movies(Apart from the Indiana Jones movies). The 1986 effort of Howard: A New breed of Hero was a huge turkey of a movie that flopped big time at the box office. The fantasy adventure movie he produced which Ron Howard directed, called 'Willow' with Val Kilmer was a better effort but also failed to bring in the audiences.
So why people went to see this drivel is any one's guess.Personally I believe they were hoping for an improvement. Don't get me wrong. I was one of them. Having seen both trailers for Episode II for free(I work in a cinema)I was quite hopeful from the look of them. Boy, was I wrong.
This segment in the Star Wars saga concerns the young Anakin Skywalker (Played here by new comer Hayden Christiensen). No longer the little boy we saw in Episode I: The Phantom menace, but a nineteen year old Padawan apprentice to now, Master Jedi Obi-Wan-Kenobi(Ewan MacGregor reprising the roll).
Ten years have passed since the battle of Naboo and the two Jedi are given the task by the Jedi high council of protecting Padme Amidala (Nathalie Portman), once ruler of Naboo she has now become a senator to her home world. Her life is being threatened by a separatist movement lead by the enigmatic Count Dooku,(Christopher Lee) a former Jedi Master who detests the ever growing corruption in the galactic senate and plans to put a stop to it by what ever means he sees fit.
The reason for the threat on Padme's life is the fact that she plans to put a vote in the senate that will enable the senate to build a grand army of the republic to combat against the seperatists. The Jedi's number are not strong enough to cope against the many that are out there. As Jedi Master Mace Windu states, 'We are keepers of the peace. Not soldiers.'
Of course as always things are not quite as they seem and the events of the movie will lead Anakin back to his home planet of Tataooine and the grim realisation of what has become of his mother. Not only that but we witness the first unsubtle steps he will take to joining the Darkside.
Sadly however, the promise that the movie had is compeletly lost in a badly written script with characters who are never well enough drawn out. Anakin who is so woodenly portrayed by Canadian new comer Hayden Christiensen does not come across as a idealistic young apprentice coping with the enormity incredible powers, so much as a spoiled brat who forever has a hissy fit when he doesn't get his own way. You constantly wonder why Obi-Wan as he states in the previous trilogy, loved him so much.
Ewan Macgregor does a slightly better job as Anakin's supposed friend and Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.Now no longer the rebellious apprentice he was in the Phantom Menace he is a wiser more medetive man. However Macgregor can't seem to fully convince as the younger Obi-Wan.He is unable to harness Alec Guinesse's mannerism's voice and the character is so different. Too different from the older man he becomes. Never the less Macgregor does apear to have fun in the roll.
Nathalie Portman like Christiensen is undeniably flat in her portrayal. She lacks the charisma to make Padme the fully memorable character that Princess Leia was in the earlier film's. But then that's probably down more to the writing of the script than her boring performance.
The rest of the supporting cast with the exception of maybe Christopher lee is absoleutly terrible. A normally reliable Samuel L. Jackson tries bravely to cope with the script but sadly fails while Ian Mcdiarmid as the future Emperor, Chancellor Palpatine fall short of expectations.
One of the few wise moves that Lucas makes his decreasing the screen time of one of the most unpopular characters from the first movie. That of Jar-Jar Binks. It's good to see that he at least listened to the fans when it came to this irritating character. Shame he couldn't erase him completly.
In surmising Episode II has very slight redeeming features but none to prevent it from being possibly just as bad as 'The Phantom Menace'. Lucas has tried telling a story in at two hours and twenty minutes is just not quite long enough and feels a bit rushed. If you do really want to see this film rent it out. But don't make the mistake of buying it. Robs Rating: *
Wow, I went into this movie thinking it would be okay but I was sorely mistaken. This movie was incredibly boring, oh my gosh. About an hour into and I really really wanted to leave, or at least fall asleep. I thought all the other movies were just fine but this was just bad. Even the scene between Yoda and the bad guy was just dumb. I also think they shouldn't have had the love thing going on 'cuz that just seemed like it took away from the movie.
Unless you're a diehard Star Wars fan don't waste your time. The movie is nice to look at. But the acting is wooden and stale. And things just happen to characters that one really has no emotional attachment to. This may be mediocre as a Star Wars movie but as a regular movie its barely tolerable.
i could never guess that star wars would be drowning in a special effects pool.the star wars of the 80's were much more exciting than the last ones.i think the things that make star wars exciting are its diologues and its main idea.star wars don't need tricks to be a perfect film.the advance in special effects made george lucas's eyes blind.if he had gone on as he was,the last two films could be even better than the first ones with such options he has.he shouldn't be concerned about the box office,he should be concerned about how we,the true fans of the star wars,will react to the film.otherwise he loses more than he wins.
It is time to set things straight, and bring the true balance to the
in the field of cinema -- Episodes I and II should forever be banned from
being associated to the original triology. I don't care if they involve
same characters with same names. I don't care if it is set in the same
galaxy far, far away that same long time ago. These two movies have
marred the legacy of Star Wars.
What a piece of junk this one was! This was worse that Episode II. Okay, I did have a bias going into the theaters -- not that of high expectation, but with a very LOW one. Alas, those trailers only got me excited about going to the theater with my friends and point out all the hilarious scenes that the previews provided; especially parts involving the absurd "love" story. Who wrote this crap? It was like an unhappy medium between the dialogues in "Sleepless in Seattle" and "Spawn". And what about direction on acting, or lack there of? Did George Lucas just let the actors say the line once and finish the rest of the scene in CG lab? Or did he intentionally direct them to speak in as boring fashion as possible?
Anakin Skywalker, of course, was not a flat character, oh no. He was waaaay too much of a drama queen. Look, this is someone who, although a teenager, grows up to be the most dark (literally), mysterious, fear-inspiring (and thus, undoubtly coolest) character in cinematic history. And here he is, 18 years old (or something like that), crying like a baby about not getting any from the former Queen Amidala and crying like a bitch about how Obiwan is holding him back. What a joke of a character! I already have less respect for Darth Vader because of what has been done in this movie. It's like seeing a "Before They Were Stars" video on Vader and poking fun at stupid stuff that he used to do before hitting the big time. Of course, in my universe, I'm still in denial that Episodes I and II are NOT part of the whole Star Wars saga.
And there are a WHOLE lot more complaints, but I trust that the sensible moviegoers who post these reviews have done enough bashing on this decrepit piece of turd already. But before I finish, I must share an Episode II opening night experience that my friend had.
The theater was packed with fans watching the movie (many with utter discontent and shock), it reached the part when Anakin was having a little fireside chat with Amidala, crying (like a baby) about love, how horny he is, etc. He says something like this: "That kiss that you should never have given me haunts me every night...(sob sob, whine whine)...I'm in AGONY!" And then a brilliantly witty man stands up from his seat in the theater and shouts out loud:
"So are WE!"
What was it that set Darth Vader off to join the dark side of the
force? This film suggests several possibilities: 1) The killing of his
mother by Tusken Raiders caused him to channel John Wayne in 'The
Searchers.' 2) Getting passed over during the N' Sync tryouts. 3)
Discovering the woman of his dreams, upon closer inspection, is a
carbonite mannequin. 4) Excess pressure on the back of his head from
the so-'90s rattail he wears. 5) The shock of learning his father was
evil guy Cole from "Bachelor Party."
Hayden Christensen reminds me a lot of the character Robert Prescott played in "Bachelor Party," and that's not a good thing. Prescott's supposed to be comically over-the-top in his smugness and arrogance. As I understand the story of "Attack Of The Clones," young Anakin Skywalker is not comic relief. He is challenged by forces within him he can't control, and a sense of outrage at the way things are. He doesn't like being an apprentice, and he doesn't understand why his love for Princess (oops, now Senator) Amidala is not returned. It's a tough part, not Hamlet, but requires a more nuanced delivery than Christensen seems able to provide. Instead he sort of throws up a series of Tiger Beat poses. He sneers. He smirks. He seethes. Petulance is not a trait that makes one like a character. Before this film was over, I felt like yelling "Hurry up and turn to the dark side so I can feel better about hating you!"
Christensen is just one actor, but he is required to carry "Attack of the Clones" in a way no actor has before in the "Star Wars" series. So it's impossible to look past him and say something akin to "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?" Here Christensen is the play.
Getting another actor would have improved things a little, but not too much. The acting in "Attack of the Clones" is across-the-board abysmal. We lose the best in 'Phantom Menace,' Liam Neeson and (except for an embarrassingly clichéd death scene) Pernilla August. The remaining actors, Ewan MacGregor and especially Natalie Portman, slide into a state of near-catatonia. Portman's tight white lycra skinsuit means she's not only sexy but unencumbered by the ornate regalia that limited her projection in "Phantom Menace." So how come she's more wooden than ever? Obviously the direction was a problem. Lucas is legendarily weak at providing acting direction, but every one of the "Star Wars" films until this had at least serviceable performances. This was one of the worst-acted films I have seen, and I saw "Manos: Hands Of Fate."
The annoying trait Lucas has of connecting everything with everything else finally comes a cropper here, after threatening to do so in "Phantom Menace." The Imperial Stormtroopers, it turns out, are cloned knock-offs of the father of one Boba Fett, future bounty hunter supreme. Why him? And why is the guy moonlighting as an assassin and not telling his boss about his sideline activity? We discover Anakin's mother was sold to some moisture farmers on Tatoonie with a suspiciously familiar love of blue milk. So why does someone get the bright idea of stashing away Darth Vader's offspring with the Evil One's own stepbrother, on Darth's home planet? The problem was the first time Lucas threw a connection at us, in 'Empire Strikes Back,' it was undeniably cool, maybe the best thing in the series. Now he can't resist four or five more trips to the well with each new picture. Meanwhile, his galaxy is becoming more inbred than a kennel of pugs.
The story is more a series of set pieces than any in the saga, with no solid "through line" as screenwriters call it. Everyone runs off in different directions, and characters act with sudden bursts of motivation ascribed to strange feelings or catch-what-can. Christopher Lee's Count Dooku (or was that Duke Countoo) shows up as an interesting character that Lucas seems to want to make us wonder about, in a scene where he warns an imprisoned Obi-Wan about the influence of the Dark Side at the helm of the Republic and promises to help get him free. In that scene, he sounds like a renegade, even an ally. But then Dooku drops the charade and just sends Obi-Wan off to die. What was the point of having the scene in the first place? And also, if Dooku is a Jedi of such great skill, shouldn't he or someone in his great army have their sensors on when an armada of starships appears in the sky overhead?
I like some things in the movie. As video wallpaper, it's kind of neat. The Stormtrooper arrival is fun, and Yoda's light saber battle. But the 'Star Wars' fan in me was bitterly disappointed.
I'm sure Episode 3 will explain all these things away, and bring cohesion to Lucas' epic storyline. There's a better way for Lucas to have pulled that off: Stopping the series at "Empire Strikes Back." Am I the only one who wishes he did?
I consider myself a patient person, I can sit through a lot. This
movie, however, was too much. I was at a friend's house and I had not
yet seen Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. I was somewhat afraid because
I love the original Star Wars movies, and I even enjoyed the third one
(though it was not nearly as good as the originals). However, I hated
Star Wars: Episode I. As I sat on the couch waiting for the movie to
begin, I wondered if I would like it. Little did I know, I would have
much rather been in Uganda doing manual labor than having to sit
through that awful movie. Here are my reasons:
1) The dialog was terrible (I know George Lucas has never been known for great dialog...but this was just unfathomable)
2) Mr. Lucas tried to make the movie into some sort of drama (I'm speaking for Episodes I and III also) rather than sticking to the fun originals.
3) He tried to make the audience feel Anakin's "deep inner struggles" but it turned into a flop because the dialog was such as: "I...I...I just can't breathe without you." and "Where I come from it is so rocky, but here it's so soft and smooth."
4) George Lucas had an interesting idea of dwelling on how Anikan became Darth Vader, but he didn't have enough to go on so he tried filling the rest in with bits and scraps that made the movie look poorly put together.
After I watched the movie (barely being able sit through it at all) I went and did something productive like renting the "The Grapes of Wrath" which is actually good. I understand that if you're some sort of Star Wars fanatic you'll think me an idiot and you'll say this is the best movie that' s been made in the past 10 years. That's why I didn't aim this review at people like you because you're just stubborn mules with no taste and you take offense much too easily. I aimed this review at those of you who aren't Star Wars fanatics, because if you haven't already seen it...just skip it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
"The Final Sacrifice" has been called the movie that is 100% deus ex
machina. Well, here's the TRILOGY that is 100% deus ex machina. Words
cannot describe how terribly bad this movie is, but an easy summary, is
that every single thing in the movie, is the exact opposite of what
would make sense. It is also another perfect example of what happens
when movie-related merchandise becomes the goal of movie-making,
instead of a bi-product.
First of all, Anakin is all grown up, Amidala is a senator, Palpatine is chancellor, we're told that Anakin is Obi-Wan's apprentice and C-3PO and R2-D2 are around, so the first movie didn't need to be made at all. This is practically an all together new story, and everything worth mentioning from episode one could be squeezed into the first five minutes of it.
Second of all well, everything. Amidala knows that someone's trying to kill her, but does nothing to hide. She constantly resides near the biggest windows she can find. A shape-shifter assassin shows up, but tries to kill Amidala using bugs. The Jedi meant to protect Amidala both chase after the assassin, but instead of just shifting shape and going back to finish the job, she tries to kill the Jedi instead.
To protect her, they send Amidala back home, with Anakin, who's obviously in love with her, but is forbidden to love anyone. (Does anyone know why that is? When Yoda said that the Force was "strong in your family. Pass on what you have learned" to Luke, I got the impression that the ability to use the Force was somewhat hereditary. But since the Jedi can't have families, according to the new trilogy, this ability is completely random. It doesn't at all explain why it would be strong in an entire family, or why Anakin's or Luke's children would automatically get it.) She takes him to the most romantic place imaginable and walks around in practically no clothes at all, while telling him how impossible his love is. Now, I may have used my looks to get some free drinks, but hell, I've never been THAT cruel. But she falls for him anyway, because he talks about sand. And kills an entire village. And whines about Obi-Wan pretty much non-stop. And he acts like a 10-year-old. And he constantly stares at her creepily as hell. Know what, Mr. Lucas? This is the kind of guy women usually get restraining orders against. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan goes to a town that looks almost exactly like Cloud City. Were they built by the same contractor?
They end up on some bug-planet, where they fight bugs, useless robots and Count Dooku. This is probably meant to be a big, spectacular Colosseum-like arena scene, but it's so cluttered you can't even see what goes on in it. There are so many light-sabers in it, though, that had it been darker, I'd have guessed rave party.
The idiotic things relieve each other in this movie, and so do the game-hype sequences. There are high-speed chases that are ironically at least 20 minutes too long, then some crap in a factory that reminds me of 80's platform games, and there are light-sabers EVERYwhere, all the time. I'm willing to bet they use them as reading lamps too. I won't count, but the light-saber shots probably make up more than half of the movie. Apparently, people can hardly even get dressed without using a light-saber. In the original trilogy, this was the coolest weapon ever. In this movie, it's so over-used it's about as exciting as a flash-light.
The fact that this is what's spat out of the computer when George Lucas can bring to the screen everything he can imagine, makes me start wondering exactly how awful a film-maker he really is. After all, it's now more than clear that everything amazing about the original trilogy must have been thanks to other people. In fact, the only other name that comes to mind when watching crap of this magnitude is Uwe Boll. I could have said Ed Wood, but I won't, because while Ed Wood was god awful at nearly everything cinematic, at least he had heart and cared about his stories.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Not even an argument as far as I'm concerned, STAR WARS, EPISODE TWO:
ATTACK OF THE CLONES is the absolute WORST of all 6 STAR WARS films!
And, given it's budget, some of the actors in it, and just the fact
that it is part of the STAR WARS saga itself, perhaps a contender for
one of the worst films of all time, at least worst big-budget
films.....Wow! And I remember when this first came out that a
significant number of fans thought THIS was better than PHANTOM
MENANCE...Nope! Not even close, actually.
While MENACE has its share of sorry dialogue and characters (Jar Jar Binks!), it mostly benefited from mimicking the fast pacing of the original A NEW HOPE and has some exciting set pieces and moments (fast-paced opening, the pod race, climactic battle). The acting and dialogue in MENACE certainly wasn't spectacular, but it was way better than what we were served with in this clunker! But most importantly, the CGI effects of MENACE essentially did not detract from the film the way it does in CLONES.
CLONES begins with the former Naboo Queen, now Senator, Padme Amidala (played by Natalie Portman) being transported to the planet city Coruscant and and an assassination attempt occurs. Her stand-in is killed and so Senator Palpatine (Ian McDarmid) "suggests" a Jedi escort/bodyguard for her protection. Of course, the duty goes to teenage Jedi-in-training Anakin Skywalker (played by Hayden Christensen). Another attack occurs and so Anakin accompanies Padme to Naboo where the Senate and Jedi feel she will be safer. And thus, the Anakin-Padme romance begins! And that ain't good! A terribly realized, cringe-inducing set of interactions ensues and takes up a large portion of the film. I really don't blame the actors. The dialogue is atrocious. I don't think Meryl Streep and Robert DeNiro could have looked better in this!
Other stories include Anakin's Jedi Master Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) investigating the creation of a clone army on the faraway Kamino star system, and Jedi Masters/Council members Yoda and Mace Windu (Samuel Jackson) sensing a dark, ominous disturbance in the Force. All stories converge to a climactic battle on Geonosis, where the Jedi must battle a droid army led by Count Dooku (Christopher Lee), who is responsible for the attack on Padme's life.
The worst offense of CLONES is the CGI! This film is at present the worst example of CGI use in today's movies. It is completely overdone and really cheesy-looking in a lot of places. I mean, it dominates the film! Yoda is CGI! Not good. The original trilogy demonstrated that you have to have a story. EMPIRE STRIKES BACK had the best story, and A NEW HOPE had an footloose, tongue-in-cheek appeal that more than made up for its minimal plot and story. RETURN OF THE JEDI, actually the weakest of the original 3, by plain default, feels like a masterpiece to CLONES! At least the characters were established from HOPE and EMPIRE by the time of JEDI and we could forgive the rather juvenile nature with which they concluded the original trilogy. The characters in CLONES, however, had never really been established in the fast-paced MENACE. And CGI so dominates CLONES, with no character development whatsoever, yet the film has exposition and dialogue all over the place! And in the end, the climactic battle is deathly boring and confusing. A bunch of Jedi fighting a bunch of battle Droids with a moment that made me cringe more than the Anakin-Padme scenes: when that worm-headed Jedi used his powers to knock C3PO down so he didn't have to participate in the fight and then gave him that weird smile (really eerie!). Trust me, it's a goofy moment! Then Yoda and the Clone army swoops in. And we are "treated" to a terrible lightsaber duel where Obi-Wan and Anakin get their ass handed to them by a 100-year old Count Dooku! So CGI Yoda must save their young butts!
Essentially, the same way that MENACE tried to mimic HOPE, so does CLONES try to mimic EMPIRE: Jedi-in-training Anakin gets trumped by the more powerful former-Jedi-turned-Sith Lord Dooku the way that Jedi-in-training Luke got beat by more powerful Darth Vader and both Anakin and Luke lost one of their hands in the battle (Anakin even lost a whole arm!). Anakin and Padme joined at the end of CLONES (with a noticeably pregnant Padme) the way their offspring Luke and Leia stood together at the end of EMPIRE. Also Anakin and Padme's budding romance in CLONES doubling for Han and Leia's romance in EMPIRE. Obi-Wan off by himself investigating Kamino the way Luke went off by himself to discover Yoda in the Dagobah system in EMPIRE. And of course, the ominous, open ending where we know a sequel is to come! Difference? We looked forward to the EMPIRE sequel wanting more, but with CLONES, we wished the entire movie experience could be taken back! Do-over, please!
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