Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Needs better direction

1/10
Author: steveuljana from Washington
17 May 2002

George Lucas rendered a good science fiction movie a confusing mess. He succeeded in bringing out the worst in most of his actors, notable exceptions being the robots, Jar Jar Binx and Bobba Fett. The wooden readings, considering the history of the actors clearly a product of the direction, ruin the movie. The terrible scriptings of the romantic scenes rob them of romance and any semblance of credibility, making it impossible to forget the scripted age difference (what is this 30year- old doing with an obnoxious 18year-old?). Some scenes appear to be added purely to be used in follow-up videogames.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

The Good, Bad, and Downright Ugly

1/10
Author: slinky-8 from New York, USA
16 May 2002

In short, it was better than the Star Wars I -- which unfortunately tells you little. It does provide entertainment value but you'll sit there with a look of incredulity on your face at least several times during the movie, including parts which you'll laugh hysterically when you shouldn't. But read on and don't worry, I won't blow the movie for you like the trailer.

The Good: The graphics were top notch as usual. Some of the effects were so good you didn't even think about how good they were as they were very convincing. If you follow the Star Wars story, you'll enjoy meeting a few of the players and seeing how the story progresses. The Obi-Wan and Anneken characters did a decent job acting. Unfortunately, that's it. I wasn't that impressed with some of the fighting scenes but others were just amazed by it. Thought the sabre work was better in Star Wars I, which should say something too.

The Bad: The story has several holes in it, as does the ability to use the force. One minute, the Jedi are all powerful. The next, you wonder why they are totally mortal -- perhaps it is to lend a feeling like there is a dangerous situation for our protagonist? The movie editing is not good and there are so many cut scenes you'll get a little dizzy and, in some cases, a scene will be too short so you'll be confused and have to consciously guess that "significant time has passed since the scene you saw 92 seconds ago." The beginning of the movie is incredibly confusing as it throws a whole bunch of characters together whom you don't know and it assumes that you remember all the players in the first movie. Fortunately, the dizzying number of characters lessens over the course of the movie. Surprise... you will see a cameo appearance by a well known actor and you will laugh when you see him (and how out of place he is!) The best part about Luke Skywalker's and Han Solo's characters was that nobody knew who they were and it didn't stick out in your mind. Some jokes are forced into this movie and you will feel like they were sometimes funny but too often placed there because Lucas felt like he needed laughs. Other times, these little "jokes" just fall very flat. Jar-Jar is back for no reason and in ludicrous positions... and fortunately he/she isn't around for very long. Warning: bring earplugs if you have them because Lucas obviously felt that he needed as many roaring engines as possible. It's VERY annoying.

The Ugly: Oh, the script in many places was, to put it kindly, MS3K laughably bad. In fact, several times during the movie, especially with the absolutely horrifically hysterical love scenes, the dialogue is so awful that you sit there in amazement and wonder how this sappy, awkward, forced garbage could ever have made it to the screen and whether Lucas was so full of his own work that he couldn't see just how absurd it is. Some of the editing is choppy. Natalie Portman is a good actress (good body too ;) ) but her lines are so awful... well, you know. Also, you'll see characters thrown at a hundred miles an hour only to walk away and brush themselves off. It's horribly funny. Princess Amadallah will annoy the hell out of you with her wardrobe that changes in virtually every scene. I thought that some of the battle scenes, especially one at the end was funny to watch. It wasn't bad, but it was very much like a comic book character.

Summation: This movie is a B-movie with superb special effects and a story line that people want to know more about. There is entertainment value but the script is so poor in several places that you might find yourself looking at your watch during this semi-predictable film and thinking that the Star Wars movies have unfortunately deteriorated into little more than cheap sci-fi tripe with CGI. I give it a 5. It's clearly below any other Star Wars movie except the first -- but it's not better by much. You will be disappointed if you are looking for a "great" movie.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Even more disappointing than Episode I

1/10
Author: Troy (bobfett33) from Orange, California
16 May 2002

Attack of the Clones is a joke, in every respect. From a film standpoint, it is pathetic. The cinematography and editing are poor, and the acting is no better. From a story standpoint, it is muddled at best, and excruciatingly scattered at worst. As opposed to focusing on the interaction between a few main characters in the film, Attack of the Clones instead blazes through a large number of meaningless character interaction. The only sustained interaction is between Padme and Anakin Skywalker, and even this is campy, uninteresting, and aggravating. Characters do and say things for no apparant reason.

The film doesn't have a single ounce of subtletly, George Lucas seems to make it a point to have his film proceed in an all-too-cartoon-like fashion where nothing is left to be analyzed by the audience. On numerous occasions where he could have just left something in the background, only to be shortly glipsed at, he instead chooses to pound it dead-center into the audience's view.

As far as the Star Wars tradition goes, Attack of the Clones is incredibly insulting to the original three films. It is shiny, and chock full of shiny computer graphics, but it turns the original trilogy into a big joke. The Jedi Knights, once described as prescient wizards, are reduced to mere special forces units with lightsabers, wading into battle with thousands of robots in ridiculous, very un-Jedi fashion. The characters are incredibly poorly developed and one-dimensional, and one of the main bad characters isn't even introduced, he's just suddenly in the film.

Don't go see Attack of the Clones in the theaters. Don't rent it on video. Don't even waste your time reading any other reviews of it. George Lucas seems hell-bent on destroying Star Wars, and any true fan of the original trilogy will absolutely hate this movie.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

This *CHARMLESS* film

1/10
Author: amberace from UK
16 May 2002

Far away in millenia long ago there was a talented film maker... He made three beautiful films that all the people loved... But alas he turned to the dark side :-(

This was one of the worst movie going experiences I've had.....

The script awful and I mean AWFUL!

The fx/cgi AWFUL! Tooo many critters, tooooooo many fx. It all looked REAL fake!

The acting uniformly WOODEN! There where some really talented actors in this piece and yet they were *all* charmless and unconvincing. The performance of McGregor was the most spirited....though his accent was awful. Portman flat.....Jackson erm bland.....Lee scary baddie DooDoo? ick noooooooo....Haydn Whatshisname.........the most awful performance I can currently recall :(

I was laughing in several places...then yawning.....then laughing........then yawning The laughter was more desperate than joyful The yawning *genuine*

Wow Mr Lucas You have done something I'd *never* have thought possible............ A film to rival my most *loathed* film. Yours is a film worthy of a 1........ Though I thought it not possible. There must, *must* be some redeeming features in this work - thinks hard

Nope sorry, can't think of *any* - sigh

A most rare 1 it is :-(

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Bring a Pillow!

1/10
Author: madcap69 from Austin, Texas
16 May 2002

Bring a pillow and an alarm clock. The last quarter of this movie lives up to the Star Wars legacy, but you have to sit through an excruciatingly boring hour and a half that plays like a historical documentary to get there.

Somebody needs to tell George Lucas that you can't build suspense into action sequences by endangering the lives of characters in a prequel when the audience already knows how they're going to die and the fact that it happens later in the series. Apparently, he doesn't realize this because he relied upon such scenarios entirely too often in this movie.

At least Jar Jar's role was greatly diminished this time out.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

An Insult to the StarWars Genre.

1/10
Author: Simon Wells from Mansfield, England
16 May 2002

I just got back from the 1st night of Starwars Episode 2 on my local cinema, and boy am I so soooooooo disappointed.

Never in my born days would I have believed George Lucas could have completely lost the plot like he did making this film. Apart from Ms Portmans sexy curves there is nothing redeeming in this film whatsoever.

The plot, narrative, screenplay and script leave an awful lot to be desired. The scripting of the characters is so empty of any feeling I was sat there in my chair using the force to find it. Sadly it didn`t improve. The digital media the film was made with is far too stale and not near enough technologically advanced to produce a film with. Long shots might looks superb, but sadly they don`t give the viewer the whole picture.

This film is an insult to the star wars genre. The plot is far too overcomplicated with little attempt at explaining the situations within the film in any detail. The editing of the film was obviously done by an overzealous butcher with a hatchet because in certain parts of the film you can see where bits have been snipped without even considering the impact loosing the scene would have on the end product.

If anything it reminded me of "the mummy returns". Summing up, I`d say if I changed my name by dpol to Mr george lucas and had a billion dollar film production suite like his and a ranch of my own to produce a film on, I would have made a better job of it.

Episode 1 was better by a long chalk.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Episode 1 was bad, this is even worse,

1/10
Author: Ollerbeschter dor Beschten
15 May 2002

After Episode 1 I thought "OK, the movie is crap, at least the episodes 2 and 3 can't get any worse...". I was wrong.... This movie is the total destruction of the myth that Star Wars once was.... It seems to me George Lucas was trying to make a movie for people under the age of 15, which don't have any idea of the original star wars movies. The real fans can't be satisfied cause there are not enough of them to make the real big money. Episode One was bad, but this movie is even worse. It is just a normal love story accompanied by a few battles, where only lightsabres remind you of Star Wars. Oh yes, and special effects, lots of them, special effects where anyone could live without them... why do there have to be so many (not very good) rendered animals, so many landscapes generated by computers? What about just a bit of the old Star Wars style? The old masks looked far better than most of the rendered people in this movie.... This is NOT Star Wars anymore, this is crap. Where are the characters like Lando or Han? Why is this Jar Jar creature still alive? George Lucas destroyed the world he created with his own mind... I just hope he will rebuild it in Episode 3

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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Flawed, but fun

7/10
Author: Neil Welch from United Kingdom
14 February 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Tiresome kiddie Annakin becomes tiresome young teen Annakin.

Palpatine's machinations start to become more obvious, and there is some fun to be had with the sequences on the oceanic clone manufacturing planet, in the asteroid belt, and in the gladiatorial arena on the insect-y planet (although the Force doesn't seem to be a great deal of help to these young Jedi).

The tedious but necessary romance is more than outweighed by Yoda vs Dooku - Best. Entrance. Ever.

Jar-Jar is minimalised but, sadly, not exterminated.

And, like all middle parts, this suffers by virtue of not actually going anywhere.

Lucas has said that he is pitching his movies at younger viewers: if so, they aren't going to find it easy separating goodies from baddies in this opening trilogy.

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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

better premise but still lacking

Author: Special-K88
11 December 2006

Follow-up to The Phantom Menace is set years in the future where Anakin Skywalker has become an accomplished, but at times defiant young Jedi apprentice. He's burdened with conflicting emotions for his duty and obligation to the Jedi, his forbidden feelings for Senator Amidala, and his frustrating concern that he's being held back by his mentor. Meanwhile, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi travels across the galaxy where he discovers construction of a secret, unauthorized clone army. The story is much more intriguing and has much more depth than Episode One, but it too often drags and suffers from uninspired performances. As always, the special effects are a real treat, especially a new and improved Yoda. **½

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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Even worse than THE PHANTOM MENACE

1/10
Author: Jeffrey from Erie, PA
24 June 2005

My comment about THE PHANTOM MENACE began thus: "This movie is so unbelievably bad, it is almost unwatchable." Upon returning from the theatre on opening day of this execrable fiasco, my friend asked me what I thought of it. I answered, "Remember when I said The Phantom Menace was the worst movie of all time? Well, we have a new champion." Lucas seems bent on redefining the movie-going experience as neither entertaining, thoughtful, uplifting nor fun. I have seen both of the first two "new" Star Wars movies, and could not tell you right now what the two sides are, or what they are fighting about. He has turned the battle for good and evil into a CGI version of a 3-hour John Kerry lecture about "nuance." This leads to the worst sin a movie (which is entertainment, after all) can commit - it is BORING. Where is the genius that brought us American Graffiti and the original STAR WARS trilogy? Gone, most likely gone forever. He will be missed.

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