Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
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Index 3423 reviews in total 

3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Possibly in the top ten worst movies

1/10
Author: twobefree from Baltimore, MD
18 May 2002

I loved the first three, and somewhat liked the Phantom Menace. However, this newest movie has proven that Lucas has lost his story telling ability. Myself and 4 of my friends (all Star Wars fans) were extremely let down.

There was no plot, horrible acting, criminal dialogue, and sub par special effect for Lucas. C3PO and R2D2 stole the show as the only authentic portions of the movie. Yoda was silly, and the action scenes were not original and usually hokey. The "love" dialogue so so cheesy that the theatre was snickering through the whole movie.

The only interesting part was when "Vader" snapped and went on a violent killing spree, however, they cut the scene after 10 seconds.

In fact the directing was amateur. I might have nightmares. I am in total shock that anyone liked it. At least I cared about the characters in Episode I, all the Jedi could have died in this film and I would not have cared.

It is a complete waste of money. Go see a good movie, and check out Spider-Man.

I wish I did not have to write this.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Attack of the Baloney

1/10
Author: aj_reilly from Ireland
18 May 2002

Very disappointing. Episode 1 got a going over but I thought this was far worse. The acting was risible (Christopher Lee aside), the early scenes excruciatingly boring and the dialogue pathetic in places. Lucas spent too much time trying to set the groundwork for the 1st (or should that be 2nd?!) great trilogy that he produced a plodding mess. The early chase scene was incredulous, the romance unconvincing to say the least (could it have been any more hammy or clichéd?) and Christensen, in particular, absolutely brutal. In fairness, the "Gladiator" scene was excellent and it picked up considerably after that, but I almost had fallen asleep at that stage. And don't get me started on accents - we had a Scot doing a poncey (and fluctuating) English accent, various US & English accents and a Kiwi bounty hunter. Surely actors can act a bit and leave their parochial accents behind for a galactic extravaganza? At least McGregor tried, in going for the English accent, which appears to be the de facto accent for fine upstanding galactic citizens (go figure!). At least we saw little of that annoying Jar Jar and thats something to be thankful for. Come on George - you can do better than this. At least get a director in that can direct actors for Episode 3.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Oh My God

1/10
Author: Ethan Parker (TERRESTRIALBOY) from Lawrence, Kansas
18 May 2002

How do I put this gingerly? I'll get the good stuff out of the way first: Yoda kicked ass. Obi-Wan kicked ass.

Anyway, on to the rest. Hayden Christiansen is a terrible (and I mean loathsome) actor. He and Amidala have absolutely no chemistry together, and their romance seems to be shoved down the viewer's throat. Hayden couldn't act his way out of a paper bag. Ewan MacGreggor was excellent, however, and managed to play a good Alec Guinness. Back to the abomination of Episode 2, however. The look of the film was great (visually stunning), but the story was contrived. I don't get the whole cult following of Boba Fett. This movie seems like a lot of exposition for a character that gets killed by a blind guy with a stick. I know in the books he has a bigger part, which brings me to the next problem with the whole new Star Wars thing. I want to be able to pay $7.50 to see a movie and NOT need to spend an additional $30 on merchandise like books and comics to get character development which should have been shown in the film. Let me also say that Dooku was excellent. Too bad he isn't in the movie hardly at all, and we don't know a damn thing about him -- at all. I would like to know more about the villain's history, and not the history of the heroes (we already know that from Episodes 4-6). Don't get me wrong, I liked Episode I. It actually flowed well together and had enough action to keep me occupied for two hours plus. This failed in that regard until the very end of the movie. It's too bad when a great writer like George Lucas slaps together a B-movie-like piece of schlock like this. Too bad indeed.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

A true disappointment

1/10
Author: hushicho from Knoxville, TN
18 May 2002

Although the first film was highly criticized for its mascot injection of Jar-Jar (who didn't actually appear any more than the equally annoying C-3PO of the original trilogy), the second film takes another tone and another turn, attempting to further chronicle the downfall of doomed Anakin Skywalker.

Unfortunately in this brave attempt, it falls flat on its face.

Lucas's obviously lacking grasp of philosophy and the spiritual practices upon which he purports to base Jedi beliefs make this a true disaster for anyone watching who follows any of these spiritualist practices, because the assertion that these Jedi must be totally emotionless to function is not only ridiculous but also completely not borne out from the actions of the Jedi in the film!

That aside, the worst part of the film must be the truly forced, unlikely, and extremely uncomfortable "relationship" between Anakin and Amidala. To be so publicized, it's very forced and unlikely, and honestly it disturbed me a great deal and seemed quite unrealistic. Judging this by logic and knowing a good bit about relationships from experience, this one was portrayed in the worst way possible, and by two of the worst actors possible. The allure of Amidala's exotic costumes and accents from the first episode was all gone, leaving the wholly unfulfilling and wooden acting of Natalie Portman, who is at best bland, and of course the almost laughable Hayden Christensen, who does about as well as Jake Lloyd on the belching out of his overly hostile lines.

This has all of the glitz of the Star Wars saga but none of the fun or appeal. Of all the movies in the quintet that now exist, this is undoubtedly the worst. All the continuity flaws, poor acting, bad writing, and hyped-up nonsense make this the largest disappointment of the entire summer. Save your money unless you're one of the die-hard Star Wars fans, in which case Lucas could probably scrape up any old garbage on a plate and you'd think it was brilliant anyway.

A truly hideous travesty of the sci-fi genre, I wouldn't be surprised if a good many fans of this trilogy stop watching right now. I certainly won't be packing the theater for Episode III.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

2 strikes

1/10
Author: AJ from United States
18 May 2002

I've never had a problem with CGI before but after watching Star Wars I feel like the movie beat me over the head with it and then shoved it down my throat. This movie is just a training exercise for CGI students. The character development? Who cares? I mean who can you actually care for in this movie? The dialogue? Horrible. Serious scenes brought tons of laughter from the crowd. And people were nearly falling out in the aisles during Anakin's bad dream sequence from laughing so hard. I guess they needed something to laugh at because this was the most boring, tedious attempt at a storyline ever.

How did the love story end up?

Anakin - "I killed not only the men but the women and children as well...I hate them all".

Padme - "OK let's get married...fa la la la la".

Lucas spent all his time and energy on a visual accomplishment and forgot that he actually had to tell an interesting story. That was not Star Wars I saw. It was Starship Troopers, 5th Element, Gladiator, and Blade Runner re-mixed with a weak Titanic love story. Lucas slapped a Star Wars label on this mess and the Star Wars fans are eating it up just like they did Phantom Menace. The action had such little payoff after that long, boring setup that came before it. The Gladiator-ish battle was just a repetitive mess of Jedi slaughtering droids over and over and over...and then some more. Yoda's duel in the end gave me goosebumps but it's over before it even gets started and 2 minutes of Yoda fighting is not worth it.

One of the great things about the original trilogy of Star Wars was the characters and story came before the effects...the effects were just there to serve the story. In Attack of the Clones the special effects ARE the story. The characters are there to say their forgettable lines and be a backdrop for Lucas's CGI show which looked more like a cartoon as the movie went on. Nothing in that arena battle looked believable. The CGI was so obvious it just took me out of the movie. And losing interest in this movie was too easy. Like I said before, I didn't care for any of the characters so there's no danger factor or excitement factor here. The only saving grace I can take from these new Star Wars movies is it just making me appreciate the original trilogy more and more for how great those movies truly are.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Needs better direction

1/10
Author: steveuljana from Washington
17 May 2002

George Lucas rendered a good science fiction movie a confusing mess. He succeeded in bringing out the worst in most of his actors, notable exceptions being the robots, Jar Jar Binx and Bobba Fett. The wooden readings, considering the history of the actors clearly a product of the direction, ruin the movie. The terrible scriptings of the romantic scenes rob them of romance and any semblance of credibility, making it impossible to forget the scripted age difference (what is this 30year- old doing with an obnoxious 18year-old?). Some scenes appear to be added purely to be used in follow-up videogames.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

The Good, Bad, and Downright Ugly

1/10
Author: slinky-8 from New York, USA
16 May 2002

In short, it was better than the Star Wars I -- which unfortunately tells you little. It does provide entertainment value but you'll sit there with a look of incredulity on your face at least several times during the movie, including parts which you'll laugh hysterically when you shouldn't. But read on and don't worry, I won't blow the movie for you like the trailer.

The Good: The graphics were top notch as usual. Some of the effects were so good you didn't even think about how good they were as they were very convincing. If you follow the Star Wars story, you'll enjoy meeting a few of the players and seeing how the story progresses. The Obi-Wan and Anneken characters did a decent job acting. Unfortunately, that's it. I wasn't that impressed with some of the fighting scenes but others were just amazed by it. Thought the sabre work was better in Star Wars I, which should say something too.

The Bad: The story has several holes in it, as does the ability to use the force. One minute, the Jedi are all powerful. The next, you wonder why they are totally mortal -- perhaps it is to lend a feeling like there is a dangerous situation for our protagonist? The movie editing is not good and there are so many cut scenes you'll get a little dizzy and, in some cases, a scene will be too short so you'll be confused and have to consciously guess that "significant time has passed since the scene you saw 92 seconds ago." The beginning of the movie is incredibly confusing as it throws a whole bunch of characters together whom you don't know and it assumes that you remember all the players in the first movie. Fortunately, the dizzying number of characters lessens over the course of the movie. Surprise... you will see a cameo appearance by a well known actor and you will laugh when you see him (and how out of place he is!) The best part about Luke Skywalker's and Han Solo's characters was that nobody knew who they were and it didn't stick out in your mind. Some jokes are forced into this movie and you will feel like they were sometimes funny but too often placed there because Lucas felt like he needed laughs. Other times, these little "jokes" just fall very flat. Jar-Jar is back for no reason and in ludicrous positions... and fortunately he/she isn't around for very long. Warning: bring earplugs if you have them because Lucas obviously felt that he needed as many roaring engines as possible. It's VERY annoying.

The Ugly: Oh, the script in many places was, to put it kindly, MS3K laughably bad. In fact, several times during the movie, especially with the absolutely horrifically hysterical love scenes, the dialogue is so awful that you sit there in amazement and wonder how this sappy, awkward, forced garbage could ever have made it to the screen and whether Lucas was so full of his own work that he couldn't see just how absurd it is. Some of the editing is choppy. Natalie Portman is a good actress (good body too ;) ) but her lines are so awful... well, you know. Also, you'll see characters thrown at a hundred miles an hour only to walk away and brush themselves off. It's horribly funny. Princess Amadallah will annoy the hell out of you with her wardrobe that changes in virtually every scene. I thought that some of the battle scenes, especially one at the end was funny to watch. It wasn't bad, but it was very much like a comic book character.

Summation: This movie is a B-movie with superb special effects and a story line that people want to know more about. There is entertainment value but the script is so poor in several places that you might find yourself looking at your watch during this semi-predictable film and thinking that the Star Wars movies have unfortunately deteriorated into little more than cheap sci-fi tripe with CGI. I give it a 5. It's clearly below any other Star Wars movie except the first -- but it's not better by much. You will be disappointed if you are looking for a "great" movie.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Even more disappointing than Episode I

1/10
Author: Troy (bobfett33) from Orange, California
16 May 2002

Attack of the Clones is a joke, in every respect. From a film standpoint, it is pathetic. The cinematography and editing are poor, and the acting is no better. From a story standpoint, it is muddled at best, and excruciatingly scattered at worst. As opposed to focusing on the interaction between a few main characters in the film, Attack of the Clones instead blazes through a large number of meaningless character interaction. The only sustained interaction is between Padme and Anakin Skywalker, and even this is campy, uninteresting, and aggravating. Characters do and say things for no apparant reason.

The film doesn't have a single ounce of subtletly, George Lucas seems to make it a point to have his film proceed in an all-too-cartoon-like fashion where nothing is left to be analyzed by the audience. On numerous occasions where he could have just left something in the background, only to be shortly glipsed at, he instead chooses to pound it dead-center into the audience's view.

As far as the Star Wars tradition goes, Attack of the Clones is incredibly insulting to the original three films. It is shiny, and chock full of shiny computer graphics, but it turns the original trilogy into a big joke. The Jedi Knights, once described as prescient wizards, are reduced to mere special forces units with lightsabers, wading into battle with thousands of robots in ridiculous, very un-Jedi fashion. The characters are incredibly poorly developed and one-dimensional, and one of the main bad characters isn't even introduced, he's just suddenly in the film.

Don't go see Attack of the Clones in the theaters. Don't rent it on video. Don't even waste your time reading any other reviews of it. George Lucas seems hell-bent on destroying Star Wars, and any true fan of the original trilogy will absolutely hate this movie.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

This *CHARMLESS* film

1/10
Author: amberace from UK
16 May 2002

Far away in millenia long ago there was a talented film maker... He made three beautiful films that all the people loved... But alas he turned to the dark side :-(

This was one of the worst movie going experiences I've had.....

The script awful and I mean AWFUL!

The fx/cgi AWFUL! Tooo many critters, tooooooo many fx. It all looked REAL fake!

The acting uniformly WOODEN! There where some really talented actors in this piece and yet they were *all* charmless and unconvincing. The performance of McGregor was the most spirited....though his accent was awful. Portman flat.....Jackson erm bland.....Lee scary baddie DooDoo? ick noooooooo....Haydn Whatshisname.........the most awful performance I can currently recall :(

I was laughing in several places...then yawning.....then laughing........then yawning The laughter was more desperate than joyful The yawning *genuine*

Wow Mr Lucas You have done something I'd *never* have thought possible............ A film to rival my most *loathed* film. Yours is a film worthy of a 1........ Though I thought it not possible. There must, *must* be some redeeming features in this work - thinks hard

Nope sorry, can't think of *any* - sigh

A most rare 1 it is :-(

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Bring a Pillow!

1/10
Author: madcap69 from Austin, Texas
16 May 2002

Bring a pillow and an alarm clock. The last quarter of this movie lives up to the Star Wars legacy, but you have to sit through an excruciatingly boring hour and a half that plays like a historical documentary to get there.

Somebody needs to tell George Lucas that you can't build suspense into action sequences by endangering the lives of characters in a prequel when the audience already knows how they're going to die and the fact that it happens later in the series. Apparently, he doesn't realize this because he relied upon such scenarios entirely too often in this movie.

At least Jar Jar's role was greatly diminished this time out.

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