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Modern Vampires (1998)

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A borderline fascistic Dr. Van Helsing unwittingly hires crack smoking gang-bangers to pursue the decadent vampires who secretly control Hollywood and the United States.

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3 nominations. See more awards »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Natalya Andreychenko ...
Panthia (as Natasha Andreichenko)
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Concierge (as Boris Krutonog)
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Hans (as Marco Hosschneider)
Stephen Porter ...
Ellia Thompson ...
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Storyline

Count Dracula is in L.A., running a hideous club scene, and he's angry that a rogue vampire, posing as a streetwalker, is slashing. He's also unhappy that Dallas, a youthful undead and former protégé, is in town. The rogue slasher, Nico, serendipitously picks Dallas as a victim; after discovering each other's nature, they become lovers. In fear of the Count, Dallas's coterie urges him to kill Nico, but he refuses. Meanwhile, a Viennese vampire hunter, Van Helsing, arrives in L.A. and hires the Crips to help him. They're soon following Nico and Dallas. When they capture her, Dallas wants to deal: spare Nico and he'll lead the hunters to Dracula. It's time for stake and bake. Written by <jhailey@hotmail.com>

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

Taste the evil. Taste the fun. See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Horror | Romance

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for vampire violence and gore, sexuality, language and some drug use | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

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Language:

Release Date:

7 May 1999 (Spain)  »

Also Known As:

The Revenant  »

Filming Locations:

 »

Box Office

Budget:

$2,000,000 (estimated)
 »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Rod Steiger improvised the moment when he spits in Robert Pastorelli's face. See more »

Goofs

At the end of the movie, when the gang is shooting the vampires at the nightclub, Time Bomb is shown shooting with two semiautomatic pistols, yet the slides were back, indicating that the guns were out of bullets. See more »

Quotes

Nico: I never knew vampires could do sex.
Dallas: That's a myth. With a good commercial lubricant we could go for hours.
See more »

Connections

References I Love Lucy (1951) See more »

Soundtracks

Hoe Stroll
By Moe Z & Devious
Performed by The Ghetto Family featuring Devious
Published by Pecot Music Co. (ASCAP), o/b/o itself and Moe Jams Music (ASCAP)
Courtesy of Avatar Records
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

 
A few new twists on the old bloodsucking myth.
16 June 2004 | by (Milwaukee, WI) – See all my reviews

Only in America can vampires expect to call for garbage pickup. No messy disposal problems here. As a vampire author, I'd far rather see vampire movies that feature something new, rather than rehashing the old myths - no matter how well it's done. (For a similar new take on vampires, though hardly as funny, be sure to see Dance of the Damned) Actually, though Modern Vampires seems to strive to be intentionally bad, this makes it very funny, very hip though certainly not for everyone.

I loved it for the early humor (The scene with the bitchy salesperson in the dress shop was worth the rental price all by itself), and was sad to see the over the top end did not work quite as well as the first half.


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