4.5/10
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116 user 27 critic

Modern Vampires (1998)

A borderline fascistic Dr. Van Helsing unwittingly hires crack smoking gang-bangers to pursue the decadent vampires who secretly control Hollywood and the United States.

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Cast

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Natalya Andreychenko ...
Panthia (as Natasha Andreichenko)
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Concierge (as Boris Krutonog)
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Hans (as Marco Hosschneider)
Stephen Porter ...
Ellia Thompson ...
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Storyline

Count Dracula is in L.A., running a hideous club scene, and he's angry that a rogue vampire, posing as a streetwalker, is slashing. He's also unhappy that Dallas, a youthful undead and former protégé, is in town. The rogue slasher, Nico, serendipitously picks Dallas as a victim; after discovering each other's nature, they become lovers. In fear of the Count, Dallas's coterie urges him to kill Nico, but he refuses. Meanwhile, a Viennese vampire hunter, Van Helsing, arrives in L.A. and hires the Crips to help him. They're soon following Nico and Dallas. When they capture her, Dallas wants to deal: spare Nico and he'll lead the hunters to Dracula. It's time for stake and bake. Written by <jhailey@hotmail.com>

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

They're ridding the world of Bloodsuckers See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Horror | Romance

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for vampire violence and gore, sexuality, language and some drug use | See all certifications »

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Release Date:

7 May 1999 (Spain)  »

Also Known As:

The Revenant  »

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Box Office

Budget:

$2,000,000 (estimated)
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Director Richard Elfman's hands can be seen in close-up shots whenever a vampire gets staked. See more »

Goofs

When they pull up in front of the club to celebrate Dallas's return to LA, the license plate on the car is for Florida. See more »

Quotes

Nico: I never knew vampires could do sex.
Dallas: That's a myth. With a good commercial lubricant we could go for hours.
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Connections

References I Love Lucy (1951) See more »

Soundtracks

Love Generation
By Marc Ferrari, Danny Gill and Keith St. John
Performed by Medicine Wheel
Published by Red Engine Music (ASCAP)/Gill Tunes (ASCAP)
Courtesy of Mastersource
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Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

 
Rod And The Boys From The Hood
3 June 2008 | by (Buffalo, New York) – See all my reviews

Other than Rod Steiger doing this tongue in cheek imitation of Laurence Olivier's Mitteleuropa accent and having a ball as a modern Dr. Van Helsing, this rather witless comedy might go over with the juvenile trade, but not too many others. It certainly does make vampires out to be such fun creatures.

Natasha Gregson Wagner and Casper Van Dien are a couple of modern vampires who are tired of the rule of that most notorious vampire of them all, Count Dracula as played by Robert Pastorelli. But all of them have to worry that that famous vampire slaughterer Van Helsing who's on the prowl with some new kind of help, a few boys from the hood.

Except when Steiger was on the screen I didn't get too many laughs out of this film though. Maybe it's because my taste in music just doesn't run to rap which blares at intervals during the movie.

There is one other good scene I did like. Kim Catrall pulling a freight train with the Van Helsing helpers and turning them all into vampires. It's the inevitable result of sex with one.

For the juvenile trade strictly.


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