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Modern Vampires (1998)

TV Movie  -   -  Comedy | Horror | Romance  -  7 May 1999 (Spain)
4.4
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Ratings: 4.4/10 from 1,577 users  
Reviews: 113 user | 22 critic

A borderline fascistic Dr. Van Helsing unwittingly hires crack smoking gang-bangers to pursue the decadent vampires who secretly control Hollywood and the United States.

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Title: Modern Vampires (TV Movie 1998)

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Natalya Andreychenko ...
Panthia (as Natasha Andreichenko)
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Concierge (as Boris Krutonog)
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Hans (as Marco Hosschneider)
Stephen Porter ...
Ellia Thompson ...
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Storyline

Count Dracula is in L.A., running a hideous club scene, and he's angry that a rogue vampire, posing as a streetwalker, is slashing. He's also unhappy that Dallas, a youthful undead and former protégé, is in town. The rogue slasher, Nico, serendipitously picks Dallas as a victim; after discovering each other's nature, they become lovers. In fear of the Count, Dallas's coterie urges him to kill Nico, but he refuses. Meanwhile, a Viennese vampire hunter, Van Helsing, arrives in L.A. and hires the Crips to help him. They're soon following Nico and Dallas. When they capture her, Dallas wants to deal: spare Nico and he'll lead the hunters to Dracula. It's time for stake and bake. Written by <jhailey@hotmail.com>

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

They're ridding the world of Bloodsuckers See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Horror | Romance

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for vampire violence and gore, sexuality, language and some drug use | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Official Sites:

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Language:

Release Date:

7 May 1999 (Spain)  »

Also Known As:

The Revenant  »

Box Office

Budget:

$2,000,000 (estimated)
 »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Modern Vampires is a darkly comic social satire, not a straight-ahead vampire movie. Due to the way film was marketed, some unsuspecting viewers, thinking they were going to see a straight-ahead vampire film, may not have gotten what they expected. See more »

Goofs

When they pull up in front of the club to celebrate Dallas's return to LA, the license plate on the car is for Florida. See more »

Quotes

Nico: I never knew vampires could do sex.
Dallas: That's a myth. With a good commercial lubricant we could go for hours.
See more »

Connections

References Blacula (1972) See more »

Soundtracks

Psycho Dwarf 2
By Les Fernandez and Jerry Tineo
Performed by The Beatnuts
Published by Inkyju Music (ASCAP)/Jerry Tineo Publishing
Courtesy of Relativity Records
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

See more (Spoiler Alert!) »

User Reviews

 
A few new twists on the old bloodsucking myth.
16 June 2004 | by (Milwaukee, WI) – See all my reviews

Only in America can vampires expect to call for garbage pickup. No messy disposal problems here. As a vampire author, I'd far rather see vampire movies that feature something new, rather than rehashing the old myths - no matter how well it's done. (For a similar new take on vampires, though hardly as funny, be sure to see Dance of the Damned) Actually, though Modern Vampires seems to strive to be intentionally bad, this makes it very funny, very hip though certainly not for everyone.

I loved it for the early humor (The scene with the bitchy salesperson in the dress shop was worth the rental price all by itself), and was sad to see the over the top end did not work quite as well as the first half.


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