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Modern Vampires (1998)

TV Movie  -   -  Comedy | Horror | Romance  -  7 May 1999 (Spain)
4.4
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Ratings: 4.4/10 from 1,604 users  
Reviews: 113 user | 22 critic

A borderline fascistic Dr. Van Helsing unwittingly hires crack smoking gang-bangers to pursue the decadent vampires who secretly control Hollywood and the United States.

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Title: Modern Vampires (TV Movie 1998)

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Natalya Andreychenko ...
Panthia (as Natasha Andreichenko)
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Concierge (as Boris Krutonog)
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Hans (as Marco Hosschneider)
Stephen Porter ...
Ellia Thompson ...
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Storyline

Count Dracula is in L.A., running a hideous club scene, and he's angry that a rogue vampire, posing as a streetwalker, is slashing. He's also unhappy that Dallas, a youthful undead and former protégé, is in town. The rogue slasher, Nico, serendipitously picks Dallas as a victim; after discovering each other's nature, they become lovers. In fear of the Count, Dallas's coterie urges him to kill Nico, but he refuses. Meanwhile, a Viennese vampire hunter, Van Helsing, arrives in L.A. and hires the Crips to help him. They're soon following Nico and Dallas. When they capture her, Dallas wants to deal: spare Nico and he'll lead the hunters to Dracula. It's time for stake and bake. Written by <jhailey@hotmail.com>

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

Taste the evil. Taste the fun. See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Horror | Romance

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for vampire violence and gore, sexuality, language and some drug use | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Official Sites:

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Release Date:

7 May 1999 (Spain)  »

Also Known As:

The Revenant  »

Box Office

Budget:

$2,000,000 (estimated)
 »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Modern Vampires is a darkly comic social satire, not a straight-ahead vampire movie. Due to the way film was marketed, some unsuspecting viewers, thinking they were going to see a straight-ahead vampire film, may not have gotten what they expected. See more »

Goofs

At the end of the movie, when the gang is shooting the vampires at the nightclub, Time Bomb is shown shooting with two semiautomatic pistols, yet the slides were back, indicating that the guns were out of bullets. See more »

Quotes

Nico: I never knew vampires could do sex.
Dallas: That's a myth. With a good commercial lubricant we could go for hours.
See more »

Connections

References Blacula (1972) See more »

Soundtracks

Big Red Rocket of Love
By James C. Heath
Performed by The Reverend Horton Heat
Published by Horton House Publishing
Courtesy of Interscope Records
Under license from Universal Special Markets
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

See more (Spoiler Alert!) »

User Reviews

 
Rod And The Boys From The Hood
3 June 2008 | by (Buffalo, New York) – See all my reviews

Other than Rod Steiger doing this tongue in cheek imitation of Laurence Olivier's Mitteleuropa accent and having a ball as a modern Dr. Van Helsing, this rather witless comedy might go over with the juvenile trade, but not too many others. It certainly does make vampires out to be such fun creatures.

Natasha Gregson Wagner and Casper Van Dien are a couple of modern vampires who are tired of the rule of that most notorious vampire of them all, Count Dracula as played by Robert Pastorelli. But all of them have to worry that that famous vampire slaughterer Van Helsing who's on the prowl with some new kind of help, a few boys from the hood.

Except when Steiger was on the screen I didn't get too many laughs out of this film though. Maybe it's because my taste in music just doesn't run to rap which blares at intervals during the movie.

There is one other good scene I did like. Kim Catrall pulling a freight train with the Van Helsing helpers and turning them all into vampires. It's the inevitable result of sex with one.

For the juvenile trade strictly.


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