David: Fire! Fire! Fire!
[gets to the fire station]
David: Fire! Fire! Fire!
[finds the firemen]
[they look weirdly at him]
[still no movement]
[everybody gets on their feet]
Big Bob: Up until now everything around here has been, well, pleasant. Recently certain things have become unpleasant. Now, it seems to me that the first thing we have to do is to separate out the things that are pleasant from the things that are unpleasant.
David: [on the phone] Well, he's not homeless, Howard, they just don't say where he lives. - Well, it's a silly question! - Because nobody's homeless in Pleasantville. 'Cause that's just not what it's like.
David: They're happy like this.
Jennifer: No, David. Nobody's happy in a poodle skirt and a sweater set.
Betty Parker: Mary Sue?
Betty Parker: What goes on up at Lover's Lane?
Jennifer: What do you mean?
Betty Parker: Well, you hear these things lately... kids spending so much time up there. Uh, is it holding hands? That kind of thing?
Jennifer: Yeah! That and...
Betty Parker: What?
Jennifer: It doesn't matter.
Betty Parker: No, I wanna know.
Jennifer: Well, sex.
Betty Parker: Oh. What's sex?
Jennifer: And I still don't see why we're doing this!
David: Because we're supposed to be in school.
Jennifer: We're supposed to be at home, David. We're supposed to be in color!
David: [placatingly] Okay, okay, okay.
[after Mary Sue explains to Betty about sex]
Jennifer: Are you okay?
Betty Parker: Um, yes. It's, uh, just that your father would never do anything like that.
Betty Parker: Mmm.
Jennifer: Well, you know, Mom, there are other ways to enjoy yourself... without Dad.
Big Bob: Everybody really likes you, George.
George Parker: Oh. Well...
Big Bob: No! They do! And it's not just 'cause you're a good bowler. It's 'cause people respect you!
Skip: Hiya, Bud!
David: Hiya, Skip!
Skip: Hiya, Bud!
David: Hiya, Skip!
Skip: Bud, can I ask you a question?
Skip: Well, if I was to go up to your sister... What I mean is, if I was to go up to Mary Sue...
David: Oh my God... are we in that episode?
Jennifer: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Jennifer: How come I'm still in black and white?
Jennifer: I've had, like, ten times as much sex as the rest of these girls, and I still look like this. I mean, they spend, like, an hour in the back seat of some car and all of a sudden they're in Technicolor?
David: I don't know. Maybe it's not just the sex.
David's Mom: When your father was here, I used to think, "This was it. This is the way it was always going to be. I had the right house. I had the right car. I had the right life."
David: There is no right house. There is no right car.
David's Mom: God, my face must be a mess.
David: It looks great.
David's Mom: Honey, it's really sweet of you, but I'm sure it does not look "great."
David: Sure it does. Come here.
David's Mom: I'm 40 years old. I mean, it's not supposed to be like this.
David: It's not supposed to be anything. Hold still.
David's Mom: How'd you get so smart all of a sudden?
David: [long slow smile] I had a good day.
Jennifer: I knew you'd pay a price for this. I knew you couldn't be so hopelessly geek-ridden for so long without suffering some really tragic consequences.
Jennifer: I was thinking of wearing that red thing... it's not slutty!... it's fun.
Jennifer: [looking at boobs in mirror] I could, like, kill a guy with these things.
[David is gazing admiringly at a pretty blonde girl]
David: I mean, Hi. Uh, look, you probably don't think I should be asking you this. I mean, not knowing you well and all? I mean, you know, I, I, I know you, 'cause everybody knows you. I just don't know you technically. Uh, anyhow. Uh, I don't know what you're doing this weekend, but my mom's leaving town, and she's letting me borrow the car.
[the camera pulls back to show that the girl is standing several dozen feet away and, in fact, is smiling and looking at another boy]
David: [Looks down at the ground, disappointed with himself, but still keeping his tone cheerful] Okey-dokey, so, just give me a call; let me know. Bye!
[Montage of teachers talking to David's classes]
College Counselor: For those of you going on to college next year, the chance of finding a good job will actually decrease by the time you graduate. The available number of entry-level jobs will drop 31 percent over the next four years. Median income for those jobs will go down as well. Obviously, my friends, it's a competitive world, and good grades are your only ticket through. In fact, by the year 2000...
Health Teacher: The chance of contracting HIV from a non-monogamous lifestyle will climb to 1 in 150. The odds of dying in an auto accident are only 1 in twenty-five hundred. Now, this marks a drastic increase...
Science Teacher: ...from fourteen years ago, when ozone depletion was just at 10 percent of its current level. By the time you are thirty years old, average global temperature will have risen two and a half degrees, causing such catastrophic consequences as typhoons, floods, widespread drought, and famine.
[Cut to David absorbing all this grim information and looking really depressed]
Science Teacher: [With a bright smile:] Okay! Who can tell me what "famine" is?
TV Repairman: Hey - who did Muffin take to the Masquerade Ball when her date came down with the measles?
David: Her father.
TV Repairman: That's right! And how'd she dress him?
David: As Prince Charming.
TV Repairman: Nice! Remember the one where Bud lost his cousin when he was supposed to be watching him?
TV Repairman: What department store did they go to?
TV Repairman: McGinty's.
David: No! MacIntyre's! Remember?
[sings a jingle]
David: "For the very best in men's attire, head right down to MacIntyre's."
TV Repairman: That's right.
[Looks consideringly at David]
TV Repairman: Listen, uh, why don't you take this remote instead? It's got a little more oomph in it.
TV Repairman: Sure! Big beautiful set like that? You want something'll put you right in the show.
[as David takes the remote control, the room fills with supernatural flashes of lightning and a rumble of thunder]
[David and Howard are eating lunch at school and studying for the "Pleasantville" Trivia Competition]
Howard: Okay, in the very first "Pleasantville" episode, whose window did Bud break when he was playing with his father's golf clubs?
David: Easy: Mister Jenkins. What job did Mister Jenkins have?
[Howard doesn't know]
David: Salesman. What did Bud and Mary Sue name the cat they found in the gutter?
David: Marmalade! All right, all right, here's one. Why did their parents come home early from their weekend at the lake?
[Howard doesn't know]
David: 'Cause Bud didn't answer the phone and they were worried about him.
Howard: Man. You're unbelievable. You'll win this thing for sure. When is it on?
David: Uh, marathon starts at 6:30, contest is tomorrow at noon.
Howard: A thousand bucks, huh? And it's on all night?
David: Well, of course it is, Howard. That's why they call it a marathon.
Jennifer: You listen to me for just a minute! I don't know what you've done to us, but you better fix it!
Jennifer: Fast! I had a date with Mark Davis and I even bought new underwear!
Skip: I'll see you at school, Mary Sue.
[Jennifer smiles as Skip drives away]
Jennifer: Who's that?
David: Skip Martin, captain of the basketball team.
Jennifer: Does he like me?
David: As a matter of fact, he does.
[Jennifer's smile turns slightly lecherous]
[the geography teacher uses a pointer to demonstrate, on the classroom blackboard, the world of Pleasantville, which consists of Elm Street, Main Street, and the Town Hall]
Miss Peters: Last week, class, we discussed the geography of Main Street. This week we're going to be talking about Elm Street. Now, can anyone tell me the difference between Elm Street and Main Street? Tommy.
Tommy: It's not as long?
Miss Peters: That's right, Tommy, it's not as long. Also, it only has houses, so the geography of Main Street is different than the geography of Elm Street.
[Jennifer is frowning in bewilderment. She raises her hand]
Miss Peters: Mary Sue!
Jennifer: Yeah. What's outside of Pleasantville?
[the entire class turns to look at her]
Miss Peters: I don't understand.
Jennifer: Outside of Pleasantville? Like, what's at the end of Main Street?
Miss Peters: [chuckles and shakes her head] Mary Sue. You should know the answer to that! The end of Main Street is just the beginning again.
[the teacher points at the intersection of Elm and Main. The class feels released to giggle at Jennifer/Mary Sue's clearly stupid question, and Jennifer frowns again]
[David looks up from his job at the soda counter to see Jennifer determinedly leading Skip out of the place and down the sidewalk]
David: Oh, shit!
[He takes a flying jump-leap over the counter]
David: Jennifer, stop!
[He chases Jennifer and Skip outside, to where Skip's car is already pulling away from the curb]
David: You can't do this, Jennifer! He doesn't exist! You can't do this to someone who doesn't exist!
Big Bob: [bangs the gavel] You're out of order!
David: Why am I out of order?
[approaches Big Bob]
Big Bob: Because I'm not gonna let you turn this courtroom into a circus!
David: Well, I don't think it's a circus, and I don't think they do, either.
[David turns to look at the crowd, where many of the black-and-white people are changing into color. There are gasps and murmurs. Jennifer grins]
Big Bob: [bangs the gavel] This behavior must stop at once.
David: But see? That's just the point! It can't stop at once, because it's in you, and you can't stop something that's inside you.
Big Bob: It is not inside *me*!
David: [amused] Oh, sure it is.
Big Bob: No, it is not!
David: [Leans forward and speaks confidentially with a mischievous grin] What do you want to do to me right now? Come on. Everyone is turning colors. Kids are making out in the street. No one is getting their dinner.
[Raises his voice for all to hear]
David: Hell, you could have a flood any minute! Pretty soon, the women could be going off to work, while the men stayed at home and cooked!
Big Bob: That is not going to happen!
David: [with defiant delight] But it *could* happen!
Big Bob: [enraged] *No, it could not!*
[Big Bob suddenly turns pink, and David grins victoriously]
Bill Johnson: It's just... where am I going to see colors like that?
George Parker: Betty! Bob would like some of your great hors d'oeuvres!
Maltshop Guy: What's outside of Pleasantville?
David: Oh, it doesn't matter.
Margaret Henderson: What's outside of Pleasantville?
David: There are some places that the road doesn't go in a circle. There are some places where the road keeps going.
Margaret Henderson: Keeps going?
David: Yeah, yeah. It just keeps going. It all keeps going.
Bill Johnson: ...Don't you think?
David: I think you should try not to think about that anymore.
George Parker: You know, your mom went out.
David: Went out?
George Parker: Yeah. She went out for a little while.
George Parker: Three days ago.
George Parker: What happened? One minute, everything's fine... What went wrong?
David: Nothing went wrong. People change.
George Parker: People change?
David: Yeah, people change.
George Parker: Can they change back?
David: [grins] I don't know. I think it's harder.
David: Yeah, where's our lawyer?
Big Bob: Oh, I think we want to keep these proceedings as pleasant as possible.
George Parker: So what's going to happen now?
Betty Parker: I don't know. Do you know what's going to happen now?
George Parker: No
George Parker: [laughing]
George Parker: ...I don't!
Bill Johnson: I guess I don't either.
David: I know you miss her, I mean, you told me you did. But maybe it's not just the cooking or the cleaning that you miss. Maybe it's something else. Maybe you can't even describe it. Maybe you only know it when it's gone. Maybe it's like there's a whole piece of you that's missing, too. Look at her, Dad. Doesn't she look pretty like that? Doesn't she look just as beautiful as the first time you met her? Do you really want her back the way she was? Doesn't she look wonderful? Now, don't you wish you could tell her that?
Skip: I don't know if I ever told you this before, but I think you're just about the keenest girl in the whole school!
Jennifer: Oh, really Skip? The keenest?
Jennifer: HELLO! I've got like three pounds of underwire on here!
Jennifer: This place gives me the creeps! Did you know that the books are blank?
Jennifer: Yeah, I was in the library and I looked, and they have covers and there's nothing inside of them.
David: What were you doing in a library?
Jennifer: I got lost.
Jennifer: You can pin me anytime, Skip. Or maybe I should just pin you.
Skip: [laughs] That's silly, Mary Sue. How could you possibly pin me?
Skip: Mary Sue, I think I should go home now.
Jennifer: Why what's wrong?
Skip: I think I might be
Skip: ... ill. Somethings happening to me.
Jennifer: [looking with him] That's supposed to happen.
Skip: It is?
Jennifer: Yeah, trust me.
David: What can I get you two?
Skip: Well, Bud, I think I'll have my usual cheeseburger and a Cherry Coke.
Jennifer: Oh, I don't know Bud... I think I'll have a salad and an Evian water...
[Bud gives her a dirty look]
Jennifer: Cheeseburger it is!
Kimmy: [about David] Oh, my God. He is, like, so pathetic. I can't believe you're, like, related to him!
Jennifer: Only on my parents' side.
Kimmy: Yeah, but you guys are, like, twins and stuff. You must be from the cool side of the uterus.
Jennifer: [on the phone] It was so amazing, Daff! I was like, "So, my mom's gonna be out of town," and he was like, "Yeah? Well, maybe we could..." and I was like, "Yeah, sure," and he was like, "Cool,"... I know! He is so smart!
Skip: [townspeople are burning library books] Mary Sue, it's better this way!
Jennifer: This is the only book I've ever read in my whole life, and you're not going to put it on that fire!
TV Repairman: Just give me the damned remote!
TV Repairman: Ow!
TV Repairman: I'm getting a little concerned about what I'm seeing on some of these reruns.
[after waiting two seconds after knocking on the door]
Mark Davis: Bitch...
Betty Parker: [Betty is in color, George is still black & white] George, look at me. Look at my face. That meeting is not for me.
George Parker: You'll put on some make-up.
Betty Parker: I don't want to put on make-up.
George Parker: It'll go away. It goes away.
Betty Parker: [firmly] I don't want it to go away.
[Pleasantville's first-ever rainstorm]
Big Bob: Well, we're safe for now. Thank goodness we're in a bowling alley.
David: You know, we didn't call for any TV repair.
TV Repairman: Well, that just makes it a lucky day for both of us!
[smiles, followed by silence]
TV Weatherman: Well, it looks like we're going to have another sunny day - high 72, low 72, and not a cloud in the sky.