The Object of My Affection (1998)
Rodney Fraser: One shouldn't be too hard on oneself when the object of one's affection returns the favor with rather less enthusiasm than one might have hoped.
Rodney: Don't fix your life so that you're left alone right when you come to the middle of it.
Constance: I enjoy gay people, but I just have a slight problem with my pregnant sister being in love with one of them.
Nina: Don't open the door for any gas men. Unless you think either one of us would be interested.
Nina: I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you.
Nina: You don't tell a woman that you love her and then two days later bring Romeo home to sleep with you.
Sidney: If I wasn't happily married and you weren't my wife's stepsister I'd have an affair with you in a second.
Rodney Fraser: Have you noticed that you're the only practicing heterosexual at your Thanksgiving dinner?
Nina Borowski: I haven't practiced for a while.
George Hanson: I'm simple, that's why I teach first grade.
Nina: I want to look at you and not feel so hurt by you.
George Hanson: Do you ever just want to touch her nose? I mean its like a Tulip.
Nina: Don't start that with her.
Dr. Robert Joley: Are you okay honey?
George Hanson: How did we get back to the "honey" stage so quickly?
Dr. Robert Joley: Maybe we never should have left it.
Mrs. Sarni: No hot water between 2 and 7.
George Hanson: Did you get your television fixed Mrs. Sarni?
Mrs. Sarni: Why? You wanna come over and watch?
George Hanson: So, you're an ear, nose and throat man?
Dr. Goldstein: No, that's my... you know professional life.
[shakes his head]
Dr. Goldstein: I have other interests that go below the upper torso.
Vince McBride: How come its okay for him to live on top of you and not me?
Nina: He's not living on top of me and he's leaving in 2 weeks.
Vince McBride: Na na na, he's never goin' anywhere. He's gonna fall in love with you and turn straight.
Nina: [laughs] You're crazy.
Vince McBride: Not if you're lookin' at what I'm lookin' at.
Vince McBride: What?
Nina: [whispers] Get in here.
Nina: Don't you miss men?
George Hanson: Yeah, sure. Sometimes. Don't you?
Nina: I guess.
George Hanson: But I don't miss them when I'm with you.
Nina: So, are you gonna go?
George Hanson: I don't know.
Nina: That usually means yes.
George Hanson: I hate that you know me so well.
Louis Crowley: I used to give women lots of opinions but now, I go with the flow.
Nina: Are you gay?
Louis Crowley: I'm sorry?
Nina: I've this new theory that any man who doesn't hit you over the head with his opinions must be gay.
Rodney: Clearly, the no-talent who directed this hoped to transform the world's greatest love story into a Calvin Klein commercial. The man should be shot.
Romeo & Juliet Director: Mr. Fraser.
Romeo & Juliet Director: I'm the director.
[Director punches Rodney in the face]
Wedding Guest: [to Nina about George] Your husband is adorable.
Wedding Guest: I can't imagine my husband still calling me his friend.
Nina: [talking about Vince to George] But he's not home to me. You are.
George Hanson: [introducing Paul to Nina] Oh and uh... this is Nina.
Nina: Hi! You were... great.
Paul James: It's great to meet you. George talks about you all the time.
Dr. Goldstein: Hey George! George... Jerry, how are you? I want you to meet somebody.
Trotter Bull: I don't know if you remember me from college. We talked all night about Walt Whitman. Trotter Bull.
George Hanson: Paul! Paul! Paul! This is Trotter Bull.
Paul James: Oh my god! I've heard so much about you.
Nina: [imitating Paul] George talks about you all the time.
Nina: I like guys a lot, but I'm not going to waste my time with some guy that doesn't see things the way I do... I mean do you really need this guy?