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Fantastic Four (2005) Poster

(I) (2005)

Quotes

Nurse: [taking Johnny's temperature which charges the electronic thermometer to 209 degrees] My God! You're hot!

Johnny Storm: Why, thank you. So are you.

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Johnny Storm: Wake up, Ben. Hey, rise and shine, big boy. How you feeling?

Ben Grimm: Where am I?

Johnny Storm: Back on Earth. We're in quarantine. Victor's medical facility.

Ben Grimm: Reed? Sue?

Johnny Storm: Oh, they're fine. Everybody else is fine.

Ben Grimm: What's wrong with me?

Johnny Storm: I swear to you, Ben, they've done everything humanly possible. The best plastic surgeons in the world are here, Ben. You had the best.

[Johnny picks up a hand mirror on the bed table before Ben can reach it, reluctant to give it to him]

Ben Grimm: Give me that mirror.

Johnny Storm: I don't think if that's a good idea. They said the shock alone...

Ben Grimm: I said, give me that goddamn mirror!

Johnny Storm: Okay, Ben. Just be strong.

[Ben grabs it from him. Then slowly raises it to look and see that he's totally normal]

Johnny Storm: Unfortunately, the doctors just couldn't do anything to fix your face.

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Susan Storm: It's got to be the cloud! It's fundamentally altered our DNA!

Reed Richards: Now, let's not jump to conclusions. We need much more scientific evidence before we can say that.

Johnny Storm: Hey, guys!

[his thumb is on fire. He snaps his fingers, and it goes out. He snaps it on again, then off again]

Johnny Storm: Now picture that... But everywhere! I mean... Everywhere! *What*?

Reed Richards: ...The cloud has fundamentally altered our DNA.

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Victor Von Doom: [proposing to Sue Storm] Four words, Sue. Four words that will change our lives forever...

Reed Richards: [interrupting] The cloud is accelerating!

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Reed Richards: How many times have I ever asked you to do something that you said you absolutely could not do?

Ben Grimm: Five times.

[walks off]

Reed Richards: I had it at four.

Ben Grimm: [from offscreen] Well, this is number five.

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Ben Grimm: You know, living through something like this you really appreciate having the right woman in your life.

Reed Richards: Yeah, you and Debbie are perfect.

Ben Grimm: I'm not talking about Debbie.

[Indicates to Sue]

Reed Richards: What? Come on. She's got a good thing with Victor. He's smart, He's powerful, successful.

Ben Grimm: Well, maybe you should date him then.

Reed Richards: Ben, she ended up with the right guy, everything worked out for the best.

[Reed walks away]

Ben Grimm: Do I have to do everything myself?

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Ben Grimm: [Sitting on the Brooklyn Bridge] Oh yeah Ben, few days in space, it'll be great, what's the worst that could happen?

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Victor Von Doom: Do you really think fate turned us into gods so we could refuse these gifts?

Susan Storm: Victor, you *always* thought you were a god. Now back off.

Victor Von Doom: Susan, let's not fight.

Susan Storm: No, let's!

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Reed Richards: [Talking about his home] So what do you think?

Johnny Storm: I don't know Reed, I think you might be taking you work home with you.

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Johnny Storm: All right, I'm here, let's make this quick, I've got a lot of places to go today. Oh wait - I don't go anywhere!

Reed Richards: Johnny, it's imperative that we stay inside for the foreseeable future.

Johnny Storm: I know, I know, but when you said that last time my brain hurt a week.

Susan Storm: Johnny, it's too dangerous for you to be in public.

Johnny Storm: You've been saying that for years.

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Johnny Storm: [to Doom, after he sent a heat seeking missile after him] You missed me!

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[first lines]

Ben Grimm: Typical of Victor Von Doom to build a 30 foot statue of himself.

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Ben Grimm: Ladies, I'm gonna need to borrow your car.

Old Lady with Car #2: The transmission sticks.

Ben Grimm: Not gonna be a problem!

[hurls the car in the direction of Doom]

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Reed Richards: [extends his arm, stretching it under a metal door, and bringing his hand up to the window on the other side]

Johnny Storm: That's gross!

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Ben Grimm: [after finding out that he's working for Johnny] I cannot take orders from the underwear model.

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Ben Grimm: Hey, no more wise cracks about the way I look.

Johnny Storm: Hey, call me Mr. Sensitivity.

Johnny Storm: [walking through the crowd] Okay, wide load coming through! Everybody move! He's huge!

Ben Grimm: Hey! Come here, Mr. Sensitive.

Johnny Storm: Flame on!

Ben Grimm: Show-off!

[Johnny flies into the sky to make a fiery 4]

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Ben Grimm: [referring to Reed, Susan and Johnny in their new outfits] You guys look like an '80s rock band!

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[after he falls off his snowboard and lights on fire, melting the snow around him into water, talking to nurse]

Johnny Storm: Care to join me?

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Ben Grimm: [complaining about Johnny] That underwear model washed out at NASA for bringing two Victoria's Secret wannabes into a flight simulator.

Reed Richards: Youthful high spirits.

Ben Grimm: They crashed it into a wall.

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[Susan has just taken off all of her clothes while she was invisible]

Johnny Storm: I'm gonna need therapy.

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Reed Richards: A few days in space. What's the worst that could happen?

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[as the four enter the elevator, it creaks and from Ben's massive body weight]

Johnny Storm: Either we're moving really fast or not at all.

[the elevator's "exceed maximum weight" sign lights up]

Ben Grimm: I'll take the stairs.

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Johnny Storm: [Ben enters the lobby] Hey! Look what the marketing guys did! Look, check it out, listen, listen, you'll love this...

[holds up a little Thing doll that says, "It's clobberin' time!" in a squeaky voice]

Johnny Storm: It's catchy, right?

[giggles]

Johnny Storm: Isn't that great?

[Ben takes the figure from Johnny, smashes it into the wall and stomps away]

Johnny Storm: Aww, that was the prototype!

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[Susan's invisibility has worn off and she's now standing in front of a crowd in her underwear]

Reed Richards: I see you've been working out.

Susan Storm: Shut up!

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Susan Storm: [to Johnny as a heat-seeker rocket is heading towards them] Don't even think about it!

Johnny Storm: Never do.

[he jumps off the Baxter Building]

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Susan Storm: You don't want to walk around on fire for the rest of your life, do you?

Johnny Storm: Is that a trick question?

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Reed Richards: Exposure to a high energy cosmic storm could advance our knowledge of planetary life.

Victor Von Doom: Same old Reed, always stretching, reaching for the stars.

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Johnny Storm: [to Ben, after first seeing him as The Thing] Where are your ears?

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Reed Richards: [while fighting Victor Von Doom] Johnny! Supernova!

Johnny Storm: I thought we agreed that was bad!

Reed Richards: Now!

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Nurse: Johnny! You're on fire!

Johnny Storm: Thanks! You're pretty good too!

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Susan Storm: You were at 4,000 degrees Kelvin! You were approaching Super-Nova!

Johnny Storm: Sweet!

Susan Storm: No, not "sweet"! That's the heat of the sun!

Reed Richards: You could kill yourself, other people, and burn up the atmosphere, ending all human life as we know it.

Johnny Storm: Got it. Super-Nova bad.

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Ben Grimm: [after Victor was talking about him] Reed does the talking. I do the walking.

Victor Von Doom: So take a walk, Ben.

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Susan Storm: [about the machine that could change them back to normal] What are the risks?

Reed Richards: Even a small miscalculation could increase our symptoms exponentially - or perhaps even kill us.

Johnny Storm: Now, dying - that's bad, right?

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Susan Storm: We're all in this together, Ben.

Ben Grimm: Together? Susie, look at me. You got no idea what I'd - what I'd give to be invisible.

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Victor Von Doom: It's time to end this.

Ben Grimm: No, Vic. It's clobbering time!

[he sends Dr. Doom flying. A metal painting falls on the latter]

Ben Grimm: Damn, I've been waiting to do that!

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Johnny Storm: [after The Thing demolishes his red Porsche] You think that's funny, Pebbles?

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X Games Announcer: [after Johnny has ignited during a biker stunt] He's ok! He's all right! I have to give you props Johnny. You were on fire!

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Victor Von Doom: Isn't it funny the way things turn out?

Reed Richards: Hilarious.

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Johnny Storm: [to Reed] Hey. Nice do. Likin' the grandpa look.

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Reed Richards: [to Ben] I swear to you... I will do everything in my power until there is not a breath left in me- You're gonna be Ben again.

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Johnny Storm: Come on, Ben. Smile. They wanna like you, bud. Say hi.

[to a group of little kids]

Ben Grimm: Uh, don't do drugs!

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[to Johnny as they wait for the traffic light to turn green]

Goth Guy: Where's your hot sister and the monster?

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[Johnny hurls a fireball that smacks Ben in the back of his head]

Ben Grimm: Did you just...?

[gets another fireball in the face]

Susan Storm: Johnny, stop it!

Ben Grimm: That's it, Tinker Bell! You wanna fly? Then fly!

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[in a heated fight with Ben]

Johnny Storm: Let's see if we can get blood from a stone.

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Johnny Storm: Let's think about it, you've got Victor, more money than God, stud of the year, and you've got Reed, the world's dumbest smart guy, worth less than a postage stamp. That's a real toss up.

Ben Grimm: Don't trouble your tiny little mind.

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Johnny Storm: Please tell me your guy's not trying to rekindle things with my sister again.

Ben Grimm: Of course not. It's strictly business.

Johnny Storm: Yes. Well, his eyes say differently, don't they?

Ben Grimm: Hey. Two hearts got busted last time. Maybe she's not over it either.

Johnny Storm: Wow, Dr. Phil, that's deep. Let's think about that. You got Victor: more money than god, stud of the year. And you got Reed: world's dumbest smart guy, worth less than a postage stamp. That's a real toss-up.

Ben Grimm: Don't trouble your tiny little mind.

Johnny Storm: Don't wander off now, boy.

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Johnny Storm: Digital camera - $250. Memory stick - $59. The look on your hard-ass former C.O.'s face when he finds out he's your junior pilot - priceless.

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Victor Von Doom: [after he turns Ben to normal] Take a good look Ben. This is what a man looks like who embraces his destiny.

[punches Ben and sends him crashing]

Victor Von Doom: One down - three to go.

Reed Richards: [appearing on the landing] Vic?

Victor Von Doom: Right on cue!

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Susan Storm: [Johnny is snapping his fingers and a flame is going on and off] I said cut it out Johnny. Johnny.Stop!

Johnny Storm: All right.

Susan Storm: All right?

Johnny Storm: Yes!

Susan Storm: *God*

Johnny Storm: [mockingly] God.

Susan Storm: What is wrong with you?

Johnny Storm: What?

Susan Storm: Uhhh!

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X Games Reporter: [referring to Ben] What is that? What do you call that thing?

Johnny Storm: That's it - the Thing. Yeah, you think this is bad, you should have seen him before!

Ben Grimm: Okay. Now I'm gonna go kill him!

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Victor Von Doom: I've always wanted power. Now I have an unlimited supply.

Ben Grimm: And no Thing to stand in your way.

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Reed Richards: I'm trying to figure out why we each ended up with different symptoms.

Johnny Storm: Oh, well that's easy: I'm hot. You're... well, you're a little limp. Sue's easy to see through. And Ben's always been a hardass.

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Susan Storm: It's too dangerous for you to go out into public.

Johnny Storm: You've been saying that for years.

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Reed Richards: [after leaning in to kiss Sue, she turns invisible] ... That's not fair.

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Reed Richards: His internal organs are completely solid.

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Ben Grimm: [shaking head sadly, trying to make Alicia understand] You don't know what it's like out there. Walking around like some kind of circus freak. People staring, whispering...

Alicia Masters: [sarcastically] I wouldn't know anything about that.

Ben Grimm: [instantly contrite] I mean...

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Alicia Masters: Tell me, when you grew up in Brooklyn, how many astronauts did you know?

[already knowing the answer, reminds him]

Alicia Masters: You went your own way then. You didn't listen to people. So why start now?

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Reed Richards: Ben, I've been crunching the numbers on the machine. I think if we can rework the power settings...

Ben Grimm: [casually] Forget it, egghead. I'm good as is.

Alicia Masters: [approaches and hands Ben a large metal mug of beer] Better than good, baby.

[they clink glasses causing hers to shatter]

Alicia Masters: You just... need to work on your touch.

Ben Grimm: [hugging her and smiling widely] I like the sound of that.

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Ernie: [in Ben's defense] This is Ben Grimm here - the first mook from Brooklyn to go into outer space. So pay him some respect.

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Johnny Storm: [after Ben has transformed back to the Thing] Had a little relapse, huh? Welcome back!

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Ben Grimm: Good thing you're flexible enough to watch your own back... 'cause I ain't doing it no more.

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Victor Von Doom: [facing the Fantastic Four in full strength] This is gonna be fun!

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Reed Richards: [Susan unexpectedly generates a force field which knocks Reed off his chair]

Susan Storm: I'm so sorry! Are you OK?

Reed Richards: Yeah.

Susan Storm: You're sure?

Reed Richards: Yeah.

Susan Storm: I - uh - you probably thought that was some form of latent hostility.

Reed Richards: What in the world would give me that idea?

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Susan Storm: [invisible] Look at me!

Reed Richards: I can't.

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Susan Storm: Johnny, have you seen Ben?

Johnny Storm: Yeah, Sunshine just left. Look Sue, I'm sorry, I... I can't stay in this freak show, I gotta get back to the real world.

Susan Storm: You're calling that the real world?

Johnny Storm: Sue stop, you're not mum, don't talk to me like I'm a little boy, okay?

Susan Storm: Maybe I would if you stopped acting like one! Do you even hear yourself? Who do you think you are?

Johnny Storm: Why is everyone on my ass? If you guys are jealous, that's fine; I didn't expect it to come from you though.

Susan Storm: You really think those people out there care about you? You're just a fad to them, Johnny!

Johnny Storm: Let's try something new. You live your life, I'll live mine. Sound good?

[before Johnny walks out of the Baxter Building, he turns back to Sue]

Johnny Storm: Oh, and just for the record - they love me!

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[Ben zips Johnny's suit all the way up]

Johnny Storm: Thank you. That's so sweet.

Ben Grimm: I can handle this ship. I can even handle Mr. Blonde Ambition. But I don't know if I should be flying or doing Swan Lake in these suits.

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Johnny Storm: If you're good, maybe daddy'll let you drive.

Ben Grimm: You keep talking and there won't be a next time!

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[Standing in underware, yelling at Reed]

Susan Storm: Any more bright ideas? Why don't you strip down and have a hundred people stare at you!

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Compound Reporter #2: [to Johnny] Is it true you can fly?

Johnny Storm: Yeah, I'm working on that, its actually really difficult.

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Reed Richards: What worries me is that our powers are evolving.

Johnny Storm: I know - I know! I'm so close to flying, guys, I can taste it.

Susan Storm: You can't fly.

Johnny Storm: Yet.

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Johnny Storm: [to Reed, after the fight with Ben] What?

Reed Richards: You need to control yourself, and think before you act.

Johnny Storm: Yeah, but you see, that's your problem; you always think, you never act! What if we got these powers for a reason? What if it's like some higher calling?

Reed Richards: A higher calling? Like getting girls and making money?

Johnny Storm: Is there any higher? You know what Reed - this is who we are. Accept it. Or better yet, enjoy it.

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Johnny Storm: You know that looked cool!

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Alicia Masters: You know, being different isn't always a bad thing.

Ben Grimm: Trust me, this ain't one of them times.

Alicia Masters: Not if you don't want it to be.

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[watching Johnny on TV at the Moto-X Games]

Susan Storm: He didn't.

Ben Grimm: Oh, yes, he did! Flame boy never listens!

Susan Storm: What did he do to his uniform?

X Games Reporter: Johnny, I've got to ask you about this outfit.

Johnny Storm: Yeah, it's sorta Armani meets astronaut.

X Games Reporter: So, what are your superhero names?

Johnny Storm: They call me the Human Torch. Ladies call me Torch.

X Games Reporter: What about the rest of the team?

[Sue's picture is shown on the huge screen]

Johnny Storm: That's the Invisible Girl.

Susan Storm: "Girl"?

X Games Reporter: What about your leader, Reed Richards? I hear you call him Mr. Fantastic.

Ben Grimm: Could've been worse.

Reed Richards: I guess.

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Ned Cecil: [to Victor] About the I.P.O.- no hard feelings, right? Nothing personal. You know, you could always move back to Latveria and start fresh. Maybe that's where you belong - the old country.

[Victor shoots electricity through Ned's body which burns a hole in his chest]

Victor Von Doom: Nothing personal, Ned... but I'm not going anywhere.

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Susan Storm: Johnny!

Johnny Storm: What?

Susan Storm: You gave us names? You don't think! So now you're the face of the Fantastic Four?

Ben Grimm: A face that's about to be broken!

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Johnny Storm: I need names... and shots. Bartender!

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[Reed opens the bathroom door as Sue get's out]

Susan Storm: [Sue goes invisible] You could knock!

Reed Richards: Sorry.

[Reed slams the door shut]

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Johnny Storm: [puts thermometer in nurse's pocket] That's yours.

[kisses nurse]

Johnny Storm: That's mine.

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X Games Reporter: [about Reed] Is it true what they say about him? That he can expand *any* part of his anatomy?

Johnny Storm: Well, I've always found him to be a little limp.

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Johnny Storm: [referring to the nurse] My future wife!

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Reporter- City TV: Excuse me. That thing doesn't look so fantastic.

Reed Richards: Ben Grimm is a genuine American hero.

Johnny Storm: What he means is, every team needs a mascot.

[the reporters laugh]

Johnny Storm: A new day is dawning. *The day of the Fantastic Four!*

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Reed Richards: What I see in your relationship is what I considered the best part of ours.

Susan Storm: That is?

Reed Richards: Passion... for science.

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[Ben Grimm sees a man about to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge]

Ben Grimm: Hey! You think you got problems, you take a good look, pal.

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Johnny Storm: [Sue turns invisible, then begins taking off her clothes but loses her invisibility] I'm going to need therapy.

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[Reed tries to kiss an invisible Sue]

Susan Storm: That's my nose, genius. These are my lips.

[she kisses him]

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Susan Storm: [to Reed] You're such a dork.

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Victor Von Doom: Call me Doom.

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Johnny Storm: [diving off a building trying to turn his power on] Come on, come on, come on. Flame on!

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Chief Fireman: Who's the leader?

Johnny Storm: That would be me!

Chief Fireman: No, really.

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Ben Grimm: [after he accidentally shatters his vat of alcohol] If there is a God, he hates me.

Alicia Masters: *She* is not so into hate.

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Von Doom's Doctor: Your entire biophysical structure is changing.

Victor Von Doom: That's terrible news.

[he kills the Doctor]

Victor Von Doom: I think I'll get a second opinion.

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Leonard: [to Victor] Uh, sir, Larry King just canceled. Apparently there's a bigger story.

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Reed Richards: I found a broken gasket from space.

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Ben Grimm: [after trying to make a phone call when first becoming the Thing] Little buttons!

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Leonard: Sir, I have always wondered. Why Sue? You could have any other woman in the world.

Victor Von Doom: That's why. Because I could have any other woman.

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[Johnny has engulfed Dr. Doom in a huge fire cone that has just burned away Doom's clothes and outer skin]

Victor Von Doom: Is that the best you can do?

Reed Richards: Time for your lesson - Chem 101. What happens when you rapidly cool hot metal?

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Johnny Storm: [adjusting Ben's suit] Please tell me your guy isn't trying to rekindle things with my sister.

Ben Grimm: 'Course not. This time it's strictly business.

Johnny Storm: His eyes say differently, don't they?

Ben Grimm: [grabbing Johnny's arm] Hey. Two hearts got busted last time. Maybe she's not over it either.

Johnny Storm: Wow, Dr. Phil, that's deep.

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Victor Von Doom: Susan, you're fired!

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Victor Von Doom: [looking in the mirror while talking to his assistant] Get me on the a.m. shows, Larry King, cover of the Journal. Gonna have to do something about this scar. Make sure they only shoot me from my left side.

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Victor Von Doom: [to Reed] Why the long face? Let's talk in my office.

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Ben Grimm: How bad is it? You know, I used to smoke.

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Ben Grimm: You know, you could'a run an ad in the personals.

Alicia Masters: Sensual blind chick seeks three-ton, rock-hard he-man for deep spiritual relationship.

Ben Grimm: [sounding more hopeful than realistic] This ain't permanent. My friend Reed is working on a cure... I think.

Alicia Masters: Bennie... you feel good 'as is'.

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Alicia Masters: [Alicia and Ben reach the gallery] Look around.

[she decides to get drinks]

Alicia Masters: I'll get us drinks.

[anticipating his objection of going through the trouble for him]

Alicia Masters: They always let blind girls cut the line.

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Alicia Masters: [heading toward the door] See you later, Ben.

[pauses and turns around]

Alicia Masters: I'm Alicia, by the way.

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Susan Storm: [stripping off her clothes while trying to escape the mob] I can't believe I'm doing this again!

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Ben Grimm: [about Reed's re-transformation machine] So, how long til this contraption is up and running?

Reed Richards: I don't know, it's hard to say.

Ben Grimm: How long, Reed?

Reed Richards: I don't know, uh...

Ben Grimm: [upset] You don't know?

Reed Richards: You don't want this to get worse?

Johnny Storm: Worse than *that*?

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Ben Grimm: You done good, kid.

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Victor Von Doom: [torturing Reed] Painful? You don't know the meaning of the word.

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Susan Storm: Remember our first date here? God, I was nervous!

Reed Richards: You know, I'd bribed the projectionist ten bucks to keep the place open late.

Susan Storm: Really?

Reed Richards: Mm.

Susan Storm: I gave him twenty!

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[Susan and Reed enter the laboratory happily chatting, but fall silent when they become aware of Ben waiting for them]

Ben Grimm: Yeah - I have that effect on people.

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Ben Grimm: [in a fight with Reed] Get off me, rubber boy!

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Victor Von Doom: Two down. Two to go.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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