Quotes

[Watching a surveillance tape with Congressman Albert having sex with his female assistant]

Brill: I think you're a little young to watch this part.

Robert Clayton Dean: Yeah, so's she.

Fiedler: Rachel F., for you-know-what, Banks. God, would I love to have her ruin my life.

Robert Clayton Dean: Actually, I believe the term "shyster" is reserved for attorneys of the Jewish persuasion. I believe the proper term for me is "eggplant".

Robert Clayton Dean: Why are they after me?

Brill: You have something they want.

Robert Clayton Dean: I don't have anything.

Brill: Maybe you do and you don't know it.

Zavitz: Fuck a duck.

David Pratt: We believe Mr. Zavitz may have passed sensitive materials to you.

Robert Clayton Dean: What sort of materials?

David Pratt: Sensitive, sir.

Brill: Do they know me?

Robert Clayton Dean: Who's them?

Brill: Do they know me?

Robert Clayton Dean: I don't know what you're talking about.

Brill: You're either very smart... or incredibly stupid.

Silverberg: Bob. We we're told to look back on your files as far as the electrician strike. We believe that you helped a man named Sam Velotti form a company called Zurich.

Blake: We also found out about your connection with the Peitzo family.

Robert Clayton Dean: Well, that's true.

Silverberg: You're admitting to it?

Robert Clayton Dean: Sure. Everything except forming a company called Zurich, or knowing anybody who is named Sam Velotti, or having any connection, whatsoever to the Peitzo family. This is Ridiculous.

Silverberg: Bob we're trying...

Robert Clayton Dean: [Interrupting] Wait, wait. This is Pintero, he's coming after me. You give me 1 week, 1 week and 4 people from litigation, and I can guarantee you, we can have this guy begging us...

Blake: [Interrupting] Tell us abut Rachael Banks.

Robert Clayton Dean: I'll tell you what. Rachael, was my girlfriend in my second year of law school, we still remain in close contact, and we swap information from time to time.

Blake: Did you have an affair with her 4 years ago?

Robert Clayton Dean: Ever beat off in the shower, Brian? Ever had any homosexual thoughts?

Silverberg: Bob, that's...

Robert Clayton Dean: [Interrupting] None of my fuckin' business. You're damn right it's not. I love my wife and I love my son, "absolutely" with no equivocations, and that's none of your fuckin' business either.

Silverberg: Bob, we believe that you should take a leave of abscence on this, until we straighten this out.

Robert Clayton Dean: Are you firing me?

Silverberg: I think you just fired yourself.

Robert Clayton Dean: Planning a quick getaway?

Brill: Yeah. Ever since I met you.

Brill: You wanna take a poke at me?

Robert Clayton Dean: I don't hit senior citizens.

Selby: Jones, Krug, what, are you guys from Communications?

Jones: No, we're Ops.

Fiedler: You can tell by their haircuts.

Admiral Shaffer: I want the entire history of this device, from birth to abortion on my desk in 2 hours. I want the name of the tech who made it. I want to know who authorized its use, who checked it out from inventory,

[hits the table]

Admiral Shaffer: And for what purpose? And most important, how in God's green earth it got into Congressman Albert's hotel room! Listen people, everyone knows where this is going. If this was a legit op, and I can't imagine how it could be, then so be it. But if this was someone's unilateral wet dream, then that someone is going to prison.

Rachel F. Banks: How do you like the trout?

Robert Clayton Dean: It tastes like fish.

Rachel F. Banks: It is fish.

Robert Clayton Dean: Yeah, but it tastes like every other fish I've ever eaten.

Eric Dean: I missed you too, Dad. Where did you go?

Robert Clayton Dean: Oh, they've been keeping me really busy on this case. They're trying to work me to death out there.

Pintero: [to Dean, after he has just finished trying to blackmail him with incriminating evidence] Listen to me, I want to know who made that videotape, and I want to know within a week... or I'll kill you.

Brill: You're either incredibly smart or incredibly stupid.

Robert Clayton Dean: We'll see in a minute. Watch out for the FBI.

[winks to Brill]

Robert Clayton Dean: He said his name was Brill.

Brill: He said it, or you said it and he picked up on it?

Robert Clayton Dean: [pause] Oh shit, I said it.

Brill: Get in the fucking elevator.

Robert Clayton Dean: Hey, I'll be back to get my blender.

John Bingham: Yeah, I'll have it gift-wrapped.

Carla Dean: Oh, well there goes the Fourth Amendment... what's left of it.

Carla Dean: Baby, listen to this fascist gasbag.

Brill: The government's been in bed with the entire telecommunications industry since the forties. They've infected everything. They get into your bank statements, computer files, email, listen to your phone calls... Every wire, every airwave. The more technology used, the easier it is for them to keep tabs on you. It's a brave new world out there. At least it'd better be.

Carla Dean: [while reading the newspaper] Robert, how could you let me find out like this?

Robert Clayton Dean: Honey, *I* found out like this. These are all lies, okay, none of this stuff is true.

Carla Dean: Did you see her?

Robert Clayton Dean: Yes, we had lunch together, she is the contact for the investigator, Brill. You're right about this, they got this from the security camera from the restaurant.

Carla Dean: I thought you said she's not an issue.

Robert Clayton Dean: She's not, I have to see her for business.

Carla Dean: They said you had an affair with her, Robert. An affair. We went to marriage counseling for a year, and now, you're standing here lying about seeing her, you make me sick.

Robert Clayton Dean: Carla, I am "smeared" all over the newspaper today for money-laundering schemes, mob ties, I lost my job. I am telling you, I am telling you is, trust me, on this Rachel Banks thing right now.

Carla Dean: How in god's name can I trust you? Bobbie, I want you to leave.

Robert Clayton Dean: Carla, I'm telling you, this is all bullshit!

Carla Dean: I want you to leave, I cannot think with you in my face. I want you to leave!

Robert Clayton Dean: [yelling over Carla] Carla, how can you expect me to do this when you believe in this bullshit?

Carla Dean: Just leave so I can think! Just go Bobbie, go! Go.

Robert Clayton Dean: I was shopping for some lingerie. That's still legal, isn't it?

David Pratt: Were you buying that for your wife?

Robert Clayton Dean: No I was picking something up for myself, I do a little cross dressing on the weekends. You know, you'd be surprised how a nice pair of edible panties can make a guy feel sexy.

Robert Clayton Dean: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Listen. Now, we can go get a warrant and come back with the FBI, take anything we want, arrest anybody that we want. Just give the man the video tape!

Pintero: Hey, the only one who's gonna get arrested here is YOU, for felonious COCK sucking with an attempt to swallow the evidence. So SHUT your mouth!

[the NSA team is watching satellite footage of a conversation between Dean and Brill on a rooftop]

Hicks: Can you get a feature scan and pattern matching on him?

Van: No, he's smart, he never looks up.

Jones: Why does he have to look up?

Fiedler: The satellite is 155 miles above the Earth. It can only look straight down.

Jones: That's a bit limited, isn't it?

Van: [Sarcastically] Well, maybe you should design a better one.

Jones: Maybe I will idiot.

[Krug is spray painting graffiti in Dean's house to make it look like a break in]

Jones: [Watching him] Lower! Lower! - like kids would do it, dammit!

Krug: [Angry] You sound like a fucking old lady, shut up!

[Selby and Williams watch through the surveillance cameras]

Jamie Williams: Ooh, sensitive...!

Selby: Alright, Jones has some issues we need to resolve!

[Dean and Brill were trying to make Reynolds confess, but they were captured by him]

Brill: [to Dean] Asshole!

Robert Clayton Dean: Great plan!

Robert Clayton Dean: Baby, I love you and only you. That is it... And I love your family... except for your dad.

Thomas Reynolds: We never dealt with domestic. With us, it was always war. We won the war. Now we're fighting the peace. It's a lot more volatile. Now we've got ten million crackpots out there with sniper scopes, sarin gas and C-4. Ten-year-olds go on the Net, downloading encryption we can barely break, not to mention instructions on how to make a low-yield nuclear device. Privacy's been dead for years because we can't risk it. The only privacy that's left is the inside of your head. Maybe that's enough. You think we're the enemy of democracy, you and I? I think we're democracy's last hope.

Brill: Fort Meade has 18 acres of mainframe computers underground. You're talking to your wife on the phone and you use the word "bomb", "president", "Allah", any of a hundred keywords, the computer recognizes it, automatically records it, red-flags it for analysis. That was 20 years ago.

Pintero: The only person under arrest here is you! For felonious cock-sucking and attempting to swallow the evidence!

Brill: [smiling] Huh, not too stupid after all.

Robert Clayton Dean: [Watching himself on TV and realizing it's a video Brill has sent him] Brill you are one SICK man.

[an image of a wave on the beach showing the words "Wish you were here" appears]

Robert Clayton Dean: Yeah, me too.

[another image of Brill's legs near the waves appears]

Robert Clayton Dean: Oo. You're gonna need a tan on those things!

Congressman Phillip Hammersley: I'm not gonna sit in congress and pass a law that lets the government point a camera and a microphone at anything they damn well please.