The Mummy (1999)
Beni: [after a shipwreck] Hey, O'Connell! It looks to me like I've got all the horses!
Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!
Hangman: [Rick is about to be hanged] Any last requests, pig?
Rick: Yeah. Loosen the knot and let me go.
Warden Gad Hassan: [the hangman says something to the warden in Arabic]
Warden Gad Hassan: Yahemar! Of course we don't let him go!
[the hangman smacks Rick on the back of the head]
Rick: Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you.
Beni: Think of my children.
Rick: You don't have any children
Beni: Someday I might.
Dr. Bey: [stutters in disbelief] Oh, look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs, flies, locusts, anything but YOU! Compared to you the other plagues were a joy!
Evelyn: I am so very sorry. It was an accident.
Dr. Bey: My darling girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe!
Evelyn: [Upon opening the tomb] I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl.
Rick: You dream about dead guys?
Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
Rick: And what is that?
Evelyn: I... am a librarian.
Rick: Can you swim?
Evelyn: Well, of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it.
Rick: [throwing her overboard] Trust me. It calls for it.
Dr. Bey: We are part of an ancient secret society. For over three thousand years we have guarded the City of the Dead. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from being reborn into this world.
Ardeth Bay: Now, because of you, we have failed.
Evelyn: And you think this justifies the killing of innocent people?
Dr. Bey: To stop this creature? Let me think...
Evelyn: [at Hamunaptra, opening Imhotep's sarcophagus] Oh my God, I hate it when these things do that.
Rick: Is he supposed to look like that?
Evelyn: No, I've never seen a mummy look like this before. He's still... still...
Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?
Rick: Yeah, I was there.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.
Evelyn: [Evy is drunk] You're wondering, 'What is a place like me doing in a girl like this?'
Rick: Yeah, something like that.
Winston: So, what's your little problem got to do with His Majesty's Royal Air Corps?
Rick: Not a damn thing.
Winston: Is it dangerous?
Rick: Well, you probably won't live through it.
Winston: By Jove, do you really think so?
Jonathan: Well, everybody else we've bumped into has died. Why not you?
Beni: As long as I serve him, I am immune.
Rick: Immune from what?
Beni: Piszkos állat.
Rick: What did you say?
Beni: I don't want to tell you. You'll just hurt me some more.
Rick: Let me get this straight, they ripped out your guts and they stuffed them in jars?
Evelyn: And they take out your heart as well. Oh, and you know how they took out your brains?
Jonathan: Evy, I don't think we need to know this
Evelyn: They take a sharp, red hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things about a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils.
Rick: Ooh, that's got to hurt.
Evelyn: It's called mummification, you'll be dead when they do this.
Rick: For the record, if I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification.
Rick: Are you sure you want to be playing around with this thing?
Evelyn: It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.
Jonathan: [a scarab has just crawled under Jonathan's skin] Do something! Do something!
[Rick flicks a knife]
Jonathan: Not that! Not that!
Jonathan: [they have just walked into a large room full of gold] Can you see...
Jonathan: Can you believe...
Jonathan: Can we just...
Evelyn: Have you got any bright ideas?
Rick: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because, if he turns me into a mummy you're the first one I'm coming after.
Evelyn: You lied to me.
Jonathan: I lie to everybody. What makes you so special?
Evelyn: I am your sister.
Jonathan: Yes, well that just makes you more gullible.
Evelyn: By the way, why did you kiss me?
Rick: I don't know. I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
[gets up and walks away in a huff]
Rick: [Calling after her] What? What'd I say?
Rick: That's called "stealing," you know.
Evelyn: According to you and my brother it's called "borrowing."
Rick: Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.
Evelyn: The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.
Rick: [trying to pack Evelyn's things into a suitcase but as he's packing, she's taking her things back out again] I thought you said you didn't believe in all this fairy tales and hokum stuff!
Evelyn: Well, having an encounter with a three thousand year old walking, talking corpse does tend to convert one.
Rick: Forget it! We're out the door, we're down the hall, and we're gone.
Evelyn: Oh no we are not!
Rick: Oh yes we are!
Evelyn: Oh no we are not! We woke him up and we are going stop him!
Rick: We? What 'we'? We didn't read that book, I told you not to play around with that thing, didn't I tell you not to play around with that thing?
Evelyn: Yes, that's right, me, me, me, me, I, I, I woke him up and I intend to stop him.
Rick: Oh yeah? How? You heard the man, no mortal weapons can kill this guy
Evelyn: Then we're just going to have to find some immortal ones!
Rick: There goes that 'we' again, y'know I wonder if-
[Evelyn slams the suitcase shut on Rick's fingers]
Evelyn: Listen we've got to do something! Once the creature's been reborn his curse is going to spread until the whole of the earth is destroyed!
Rick: And is that my problem?
Evelyn: Well it is everybody's problem!
Rick: Evelyn, I appreciate you saving my life and all but when I signed on I agreed to take you out there and bring you back, end of job, end of story, contract terminated!
Evelyn: Oh, that's all I am to you, a contract?
Rick: Ok look, you can either tag along with me or stay here... and try to save the world! What's it gonna be?
Evelyn: I'm staying.
[leaves and slams the door]
Beni: It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.
Warden Gad Hassan: [to O'Connell about the burning, sinking ship they are on] What are we going to do? What are we going to do?
Rick: Wait here. I'll go get help.
Evelyn: [Jonathan looks through the warden's pouch. Suddenly he cuts himself on something] What is it?
Jonathan: A broken bottle. Glenlivet. Twelve years old! Well, he may have been a stinky fellow, but he had good taste.
Beni: You never believed in Hamunaptra, O'Connell. Why are you going back?
Rick: You see that girl?
[points to Evelyn]
Rick: She saved my neck.
Beni: You always did have more balls than brains.
Rick: [a bunch of mummies start coming out of the ground] Who the hell are these guys?
Ardeth Bay: Priests. *Imhotep's* priests.
Rick: All right then.
Rick: You came back from the desert with a new friend. Didn't you, Beni?
Beni: What friend? You are my only friend.
Winston: What's the challenge, then?
Rick: Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world.
Mr. Henderson: Get me a glass of bourbon.
Mr. Daniels: Alright.
Mr. Henderson: A-And a shot of bourbon.
Mr. Daniels: Yeah. Okay, okay.
Mr. Henderson: And a bourbon chaser!
Mr. Daniels: Yeah, yeah, I'll get your damn bourbon.
Ardeth Bay: [narrating] Thebes, City of the Living. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the First. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh's high priest, keeper of the dead. Birthplace of Anck Su Namun, Pharaoh's mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her. But for their love, they were willing to risk life itself.
Rick: Oh, yeah. This just keeps gettin' better and better.
Evelyn: We must stop him from regenerating. Who opened that chest?
Mr. Henderson: Well, there was me, and Daniels here. Oh, and Burns, of course.
Mr. Daniels: And that Egyptologist feller.
Rick: What about my buddy, Beni?
Mr. Daniels: Nah, he scrammed out of there 'fore we opened the damn thing.
Mr. Henderson: Yeah. He was the smart one.
Rick: Well, yeah, that sounds like Beni.
Evelyn: There is only one person I know that can possibly give us any answers.
[sees Ardeth Bay]
Dr. Bey: Miss Carnahan. Gentlemen.
[the men draw their guns and point them at Ardeth]
Evelyn: [about Ardeth] What is HE doing here?
Dr. Bey: Do you really want to know, or would you prefer to just shoot us?
Rick: After what I just saw, I'm willing to go on a little faith here.
Jonathan: Well, I guess we go home empty handed. Again.
Rick: I wouldn't say that.
Jonathan: Oh please.
[to his camel]
Jonathan: How about you darling, would you like a little kissy-wissy?
[the camel breathes on him]
Beni: [about Imhotep's sand storm] I loved the whole sand wall trick. It was beautiful. Bastard.
Jonathan: [Trying to buy some camels from a Bedouin] I only want four! Four! I only want four, not a whole bloody herd! O'Connell! Can you believe the cheek?
Rick: Would you just pay the man!
Jonathan: Oh, for heaven's sake! Can't believe the price of these flea bags! Yes, happy. Very good.
Rick: You probably could have gotten them for free, all we had to do was give him your sister.
Jonathan: Yes. Yes. Awfully tempting, wasn't it?
Rick: [as Evelyn walks up looking beautiful in her new black clothes with a veil hiding her face except the eyes] Awf'lly...
Rick: This door doesn't open. She doesn't come out, and no one goes in.
[to Mr. Henderson]
Mr. Henderson: Right.
Rick: [to Mr. Daniels] Right?
Mr. Daniels: Right.
Rick: Let's go Jonathan.
Jonathan: Oh, well, I thought I could just stay at the fort and, uh, reconnoiter.
Jonathan: Yeah. Right. We're just gonna rescue the... Egyptologist.
Winston: [as the plane spins through the sandstorm] Here I come, laddies! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Jonathan: [Jonathan hands Evy a strange box] My whole life I've never found anything, Evy. *Please* tell me I've found something.
Jonathan: [Evelyn opens the strange box, inside lies an ancient map] Jonathan?
Evelyn: I think you found something.
Evelyn: [about O'Connell] Personally, I think he's filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don't like him one bit.
Rick: Anyone I know?
Rick: [to Evelyn who was just attacked/almost kissed by Imhotep] You all right?
Jonathan: [standing several feet behind Rick] Well, I'm not sure.
Evelyn: [after the warden has died] What do you suppose killed him?
Jonathan: Did you ever see him eat?
Rick: Look at what I've got!
[holds up the cat]
Rick: [Imhotep gasps]
Rick: [Imhotep shrieks and flees in a dust storm]
Evelyn: You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.
Beni: They do?
Rick: So what's the scam, Beni? You take them out into the middle of the desert and then you leave 'em to rot?
Beni: Unfortunately, no. These Americans are smart. They pay me only half now, half when I get them back to Cairo, so this time I must go all the way.
Rick: Them's the breaks, huh?
Rick: [Hamunaptra is about to be destroyed] Time to go.
Rick: You're gonna get yours, Beni. You hear me? You're gonna get yours.
Beni: Oh, like I've never heard *that* before.
Evelyn: The map! The map! We forgot the map!
Rick: Relax. I'm the map. It's all up here.
[points to his head]
Evelyn: Oh, that's comforting.
Mr. Henderson: Do they know something we don't?
Dr. Allen Chamberlain: They're led by a woman. What does a woman know?
Evelyn: Now, what exactly is this man in prison for?
Warden Gad Hassan: Well, this I did not know. But when I heard you were coming, I asked him that myself.
Warden Gad Hassan: Ya'llah!
[Arabic: "Hurry up!"]
Evelyn: And what did he say?
Warden Gad Hassan: He said he was 'just looking for a good time.'
Beni: You just got promoted.
Rick: [shouting to troops] Prenez vos positions! Steady!
Rick: You're with me on this one, right?
Beni: Oh, your strength gives me strength.
[Beni runs away]
Evelyn: Have you no respect for the dead?
Jonathan: Of course I do, but sometimes I'd rather like to join them.
Evelyn: Well I wish you would do it sooner rather than later before you ruin my career the way you've ruined yours.
Rick: [Seeing Imhotep regenerate] We are in serious trouble.
Dr. Bey: [Imhotep, fully regenerated, and Beni, walks through the possessed male crowd towards Rick, Evelyn, Jonathan, Dr. Bey, and Ardeth] It's the creature. He's fully regenerated.
Imhotep: Keetah mi pharos aja nilo, isirian.
Beni: [translating] "Come with me, my princess. It is time to make you mine, forever."
Evelyn: [corrects Beni] "For all eternity," idiot.
Imhotep: Kootash de na... aja nilo.
Beni: [translating] "Take my hand and I will spare your friends."
Ardeth Bay: Know this: this creature is the bringer of death. He will never eat, he will never sleep, and he will never stop.
Jonathan: [about a noise] What was that?
Rick: Sounds like... bugs.
Evelyn: [to the warden] He said 'bugs.'
Warden Gad Hassan: What do you mean bugs? I hate bugs!
Jonathan: Never did like camels. Filthy buggers. They smell, they bite, they spit.
[the warden spits]
Evelyn: Oh, for heaven's sake, girl! It wasn't that good of a kiss.
Evelyn: Mister O'Connell, can you look me in the eye, and guarantee me that this isn't all some kind of a flimflam?
Dr. Allen Chamberlain: [after Evelyn has spoken the incantation that awakens Imhotep] NO! You must not read from the book!
Imhotep: [as Imhotep, not yet regenerated, walks toward Beni, Beni speaks incantations in three languages, at last speaking one in Hebrew as he is backed against a wall]
[In Ancient Egyptian]
Imhotep: The language of the slaves. I may have use for you. And the rewards
[Holds out a handful of gold to Beni]
Imhotep: will be great.
Beni: My prince.
Imhotep: [In Ancient Egyptian] Where are the other sacred jars?
Jonathan: [from deleted scene]
[as they are riding on camels, Jonathan accuses the Warden of things]
Jonathan: ... and you snore.
Warden Gad Hassan: I do not snore.
Jonathan: All night you snored.
Warden Gad Hassan: Break wind, maybe, but snore? *Never*!
Jonathan: And then there was the drooling. Anyway, how would you know? You were asleep.
Evelyn: I will give you one hundred pounds to save this man's life.
Warden Gad Hassan: Madame, I would pay one hundred pounds just to see him hang.
Evelyn: Two! Two hundred pounds!
Warden Gad Hassan: Proceed.
Evelyn: Three hundred pounds! Five hundred pounds!
Warden Gad Hassan: [looks at her] And what else?
[puts his hand on her thigh]
Warden Gad Hassan: I'm a very lonely man.
Evelyn: Oh my God it's a... it's a sarcophagus. Buried at the base of Anubis. He must have been someone of great importance. Or he did something *very* naughty.
Warden Gad Hassan: [Rick is hanging from the noose] Ha, ha! His neck did not break! Oh, I am so sorry. Now we must watch him strangle to death!
Evelyn: [after a pause] He knows the location to Hamunaptra.
Warden Gad Hassan: You lie!
Evelyn: I would never!
Warden Gad Hassan: Are you telling me this filthy, godless son of a pig knows where to find the city of the dead?
Warden Gad Hassan: Truly?
Evelyn: Yes! And if you cut him down, we will give you... ten percent.
Warden Gad Hassan: Fifty percent.
Warden Gad Hassan: Forty!
Warden Gad Hassan: Twenty-five!
Evelyn: Ah! Deal!
Warden Gad Hassan: [giving in] Agh! Cut him down!
Rick: [after a mysterious wind blows up for the umpteenth time] That happens a lot around here.
Beni: Mr. Burns, Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality.
Mr. Burns: No.
Beni: And for your eyes, and for your tongue.
Mr. Burns: Wha?
Beni: But I'm afraid more is needed. The prince must finish the job. And consummate the curse which you and your friends have brought down upon yourselves.
Jonathan: [entering Sah-Netjer] Whew! What is that god-awful stench?
[smells the Warden climbing down right behind him]
Rick: [being chased by a sandstorm] Hey, Winston! Pedal faster.
Dr. Allen Chamberlain: [about the plague of locust terrorizing everyone] What have we done?
Beni: [after being thrown out of Imhotep's sand storm] I need a new job.
Winston: You know, O'Connell, ever since the end of the Great War, there hasn't been a single challenge worthy of a man like me.
Rick: Yeah? Well, we all got our little problems today. Don't we, Winston?
Winston: [stepping into a fountain] Some bloody idiot spilled his drink.
Rick: Forget it. We're out the door, we're down the hall and we're gone.
Beni: [from deleted scene] It is three days down the Nile, then two days by camel, Barat'm.
Mr. Daniels: All the money we're payin' you, there better be something under that sand.
Mr. Henderson: Hamunaptra, Daniels. That's all you gotta keep telling yourself. Hamunaptra.
Mr. Burns: We're gonna find it, boys, and we're gonna make history.
Mr. Henderson: And get rich doin' it.
Dr. Allen Chamberlain: [to native workers loading equipment into the riverboat] Let's load it up! Let's load it up! Everything's in order, gentlemen.
Mr. Burns: Thank you, Doctor.
Mr. Henderson: [when Hamunaptra is revealed in the morning] Look at that!
Mr. Daniels: Can you believe it?
Mr. Burns: Hamunaptra.
Rick: Here we go again.
Beni: [translating for Imhotep] Come with me my princess and I will make you mine... forever.
Evelyn: "For all eternity." Idiot.
Mr. Henderson: [after finding the sacred jars] Say, O'Connell, what do you think these babies will fetch back home?
Mr. Burns: We hear you boys found yourselves a nice, gooey mummy. Congratulations.
Mr. Daniels: You know, if you dry that fellow out, you might be able to sell him for firewood.
Evelyn: Where are they taking him?
Warden Gad Hassan: To be hanged. Apparently, he had a VERY good time.
Mr. Burns: [revealing his injuries after meeting 'The Mummy'] He took my eyes!
Rick: [inspecting Imhotep's sarcophagus] This looks like some sort of a lock.
Jonathan: Well, whoever's in here sure wasn't getting out.
Evelyn: [upon inspecting the map to Hamunaptra] You see the cartouche there? It's the official royal seal of Seti I, I'm sure of it.
Jonathan: Two questions: Who the hell was Seti I? And was he rich?
Evelyn: He was the second pharaoh of the 19th dynasty, said to be the wealthiest pharaoh of them all.
Jonathan: That's good. I like this fellow. I like him very much.