Big Helium Dog (1999)

User Rating:

5.0/10   

Director:

Brian Lynch

Writer:

Brian Lynch (writer)

Genre:

Comedy

Tagline:

Now the Bible is the SECOND Greatest Story Ever Told!

Plot Keywords:

Bikini | Cult Favorite | Cancer | Independent Film

Cast

Matt Kawczynski	...	Charlie Osgood
Michael Linstroth	...	Ray Cross
Kevin Smith	...	Director
Kevin Heffernan	...	Phil
Michael Ian Black	...	Martin Huber
Lorene Scafaria	...	Chastity
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Pete Capella	...	High School Jock
Jay Chandrasekhar	...	Movie Producer (scenes deleted)
Damien Furey	...	Autograph Seeker
Ralph Lambiase	...	BHD Interviewer
Alyce LaTourelle	...	Law Bitch
Steve Lemme	...	Kendrick
Brian Lynch	...	Director's Assistant
Colleen Murphy	...	Mother
Vincent Pereira	...	Cigarette Fairy
Richard Perello	...	Bartender
Brian Quinn	...	Vance
Blanchard Ryan	...	Beautiful Dancer
Erik Stolhanske	...	Father Joeb
Bryan W. Strang	...	Carl Dunlop
Kelli Strang	...	Little Susie
Kris VanCleave	...	Immense Gay Trucker

Runtime:

89 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Certification:

USA:Unrated

Filming Locations:

New Jersey, USA

Company:

Rayisdead co.

Trivia:

Ben Affleck agreed to take a role in this film based on reading the script while on the set of Chasing Amy. However due to his schedule with Armageddon, he had to drop out of the production.

Quotes:

Charlie: You're so thrifty, that was one of the first things I noticed about you. That, and your ass.

Where is the DVD?

It may be a stupid, stupid movie. Hell, it's so stupid it makes Dude, Where's My Car? look downright erudite. But Big Helium Dog can also be very funny, depending on your sense of humor. Me, I find it very funny. Here is a test. If setting your cat on fire is funny to you or if throwing your grandma down a flight of stairs to her death is funny to you --- then you will love this movie. If you love Jesus and like Cop movies - then this will be a good one for you as well.

I love that sort of humor, the strange little non-sequitur moments that show the filmmakers weren't trying to make something that everyone would "get." I'm talking about things like the animated sequence of the Knights of the Round Table being chased by an animated beast in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, only to be saved by the animator having a heart attack. Or the giant penguin Adam Sandler hallucinated about during his lowest moments in Billy Madison. Big Helium Dog is full of moments like that; in fact, the movie is little more than a clothesline upon which moments like that hang like soiled boxers. For me, that's a cinematic treat akin to fried cheese.

So I'm sure you're wondering why, if this is such a stupid (though funny) movie, why do I want it so badly? Two reasons. One, a friend once said that 'stupid-funny' is the ultimate test of a relationship. If you could find a woman who would watch Billy Madison or Monty Python with you, from beginning to end, without rolling her eyes, then she was a keeper. A movie with that kind of power should be available on DVD, period.

Two, every other crappy movie gets a DVD release. Every single TV series gets a DVD release. So where is this DVD? It has some pretty big names in it? Michael Ian Black of the TV show `ED' is in it and Director of Clerks, Kevin Smith, also makes an appearance as do some other very recognizable people.

Sometimes the DVD gods smile on the unlikeliest of films. Helium Dog needs to somehow manage a release, even if it is bare-bones, it needs a DVD presentation.