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The Bachelor (1999) Poster

(1999)

Quotes

[while listening to love song from Titanic]

Natalie: What kind of dumb bitch lets Leonardo DiCaprio drown?

Anne: Nat, mind your own business

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Priest: It's a wonderful thing, as time goes by, to be with someone who looks into your face, when you've gotten old, and still sees what you think you look like.

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Jimmie: Just give me the damn symbolic vaginas.

Marco: You are sick!

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[after Jimmie is rejected by his ex-girlfriend Stacey]

Jimmie: She's engaged.

Marco: Engaged, or married? Because if she's only engaged...

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Roy O'Dell: Time for desperate measures. What about my daughter?

Jimmie: Absolutely not!

Roy O'Dell: Why not? She's not good enough for you?

Jimmie: She's fifteen!

Roy O'Dell: Well, it's pretty late in the game for you to be Mr. Choosy.

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Marco: [to Jimmie] Your birthday is soon, right? Like next week?

Jimmie: No, it's not next week.

Marco: Thank God.

Jimmie: It's tomorrow.

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[after Carolyn explains to Jimmie the symbolism between flowers and vaginas]

Jimmie: I'm not interested in your goddamn vagina, all right? I just want to marry you!

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Grandad Shannon: [into megaphone] THE HUMAN CONDITION!

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Ilana: [Upon seeing Jimmie after her performance] Up until now I thought you were dead!

[Gives him a dirty look and leaves]

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Preppy Bride: Thank God I'm bisexual

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Daphne: [snarling at prisoner] I don't play "good cop, bad cop" - requires too much patience. I go straight to "bad cop, worse cop." Now behave!

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Grandad Shannon: As my last surviving descendant, you have a sacred duty to pass on my genetic material.

Jimmie: That's a lovely sentiment.

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[Jimmie hears that his "shit or get off the pot" marriage proposal has become an urban legend]

Customer: My psychoanalyst couldn't stop talking about it. It's a bunch of crap if you ask me.

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Marco: [imitating Muhammad Ali while playing with a remote-controlled toy robot] C'mon, gorilla, we in Manila! C'mon, gorilla, this is the Thrilla!

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[Before Jimmie asks his ex-girlfriend Buckley to marry him]

Marco: OK, crunch time. Seventh game of the World Series. Bottom of the ninth. Two outs. Full count. It's our last chance. There's no tomorrow. Got it?

Jimmie: Four cliches ago.

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Jimmie: [playing pool with Marco] Stripes wins, I propose.

Marco: And solids?

Jimmie: I don't know. Fake choking on a piece of steak.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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