Stinky Pete the Prospector: How long will it last, Woody? Do you really think Andy is going to take you to college, or on his honeymoon? Andy's growing up, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's your choice, Woody. You can go back, or you can stay with us and last forever. You'll be adored by children for generations.
Woody: [pets Bullseye the Horse, then suddenly decides to stay] Who am I to break up the Roundup Gang?
Tour guide Barbie: And this is the Buzz Lightyear aisle. Back in 1995, short-sighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand.
Slinky Dog: I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.
Mrs. Potato Head: [to Mr. Potato Head] I'm packing your extra pair of shoes, and your angry eyes just in case.
Jessie: You never forget kids like Emily, or Andy, but they forget you.
Woody: Look Jessie, I know you hate me for leaving, but I have to go back. I'm still Andy's toy. Well, if you knew him, you'd understand. See, Andy's...
Jessie: Let me guess. Andy's a real special kid, and to him, you're his buddy, his best friend, and when Andy plays with you it's like... even though you're not moving, you feel like you're alive, because that's how he sees you.
Woody: How did you know that?
Jessie: Because Emily was just the same. She was my whole world.
Buzz Lightyear: I'll never give in. You killed my father!
Emperor Zurg: No, Buzz. I *am* your father!
Buzz Lightyear: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Rex: I can't look. Could somebody please cover my eyes?
[Channel-surfing at breathtaking speed to find the Al's Toy Barn ad]
Rex: Go back, go back, you missed it!
Hamm: Too late, I'm in the 40's, gotta go around the horn!
Buzz Lightyear: Don't worry, Woody. In just a few hours you'll be sitting around a campfire with Andy making delicious hot Schmoes.
Woody: [lamely] They're called "S'mores", Buzz.
Buzz Lightyear: Yes, yes. Of course.
[Woody's arm is torn]
Andy's Mom: I'm sorry, honey, but you know... toys don't last forever.
Wheezy: What's the point of prolonging the inevitable? We're all just one stitch away from here...
[points to yard sale]
Wheezy: ...to there.
Bo Peep: This is for Woody, when you find him.
[She gives Buzz a long kiss]
Buzz Lightyear: [cough] Um, okay, but it won't be the same coming from me.
Rex: [gasps] What're we gonna do, Buzz?
Buzz Lightyear: Use your head!
[the toys use Rex as a battering ram in the next shot]
Rex: But I don't wanna use my head!
Woody: Ride like the wind, Bullseye.
[On "Woody's Roundup" TV show, Jessie's animal friends run to Woody to come to her rescue]
Rabbit: [incoherent chatter]
Woody: What's that? Jessie and Prospector are trapped in the old abandoned mine and Prospector just lit a stick of dynamite thinking it was a candle and now they're about to be blown to smithereens?
Rabbit: Uh huh.
Woody: Ride like the wind, Bullseye!
[right when the Prospector is out of his box, and is tightening the screw back onto the heat duct]
Woody: You're outta your box!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: I tried reasoning with you, Woody, but you keep forcing me to take extreme measures.
Woody: [yelling through the heat duct] Help! Buzz! Guys!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: It's too late, Woody! That silly Buzz Lightweight can't help you.
Woody: His name is Buzz Lightyear!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Whatever. I've always hated those upstart space toys.
[Woody's arm is ripped by the Prospector]
Stinky Pete the Prospector: It's your choice, Woody. Either you can go to Japan together or in pieces. He fixed you once, he can fix you again. Now get in the box.
Mr. Potato Head: Prepare to meet
Mr. Potato Head: Mr Angry Eyes! Argh argh!
[he accidentally sticks his extra pair of shoes on his face and runs into a wall]
[Woody explains his newfound past to his old friends]
Woody: Oh, you should have seen it. There was a record player. And a yo-yo. Buzz, I was a yo-yo!
Mr. Potato Head: [to Hamm] WAS?
Al McWiggin: To overnight, 6 packages to Japan is how much? What? That's in yen, right? DOLLARS?'! Oh, you are deliberately takin' advantage of people in a hurry! You know that?'!
Hamm: Where did you get the cool belt, Buzz?
Buzz Lightyear #2: Well, slotted pig, they're standard issue.
[Buzz is driving a pizza truck; Hamm is reading the owner's manual]
Ham: I seriously doubt he's getting this kind of mileage.
[Potato Head has saved some alien toys]
Alien toys: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
Mr. Potato Head: Will you just leave me alone?
Mr. Potato Head: Can we stop? My parts are killing me.
Buzz Lightyear: How about a quick roll call? Everybody here?
Mr. Potato Head: Not everybody.
Buzz Lightyear: Who's behind?
Slinky Dog: Mine...
[Slinky Dog's back half catches up with the group]
[the toys are trying to enter an apartment building]
Mr. Potato Head: I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom and pretend we're delivering a pizza.
Hamm: How about a ham sandwich? With fries and a hotdog?
Rex: What about me?
Hamm: Ah, you can be the toy that comes with the meal.
Hamm: You heard of Kung Fu? Well get ready for pork chop.
[Buster the dog is barking and trying to leave Andy's room]
Slinky: Ah, this fella says he needs to go out back for a little private time?
Buzz Lightyear: Uh, ma - ma'am? I, uh, um, well, I just wanted to say you're a bright young woman with a beautiful yarn full of hair. A hair full of yarn. It's ah... um... I must go.
Jessie: [brings him back] Well aren't you just the sweetest space toy I ever did meet!
Buzz Lightyear #2: Buzz Lightyear to Star Command. I have an AWOL Space Ranger.
Buzz Lightyear: Tell me I wasn't this deluded...
Buzz Lightyear #2: No back talk! I have a laser, and I will really use it.
Buzz Lightyear: You mean a laser that's a lightbulb?
Buzz Lightyear #2: Has your mind been melted? You could have killed me, Space Ranger! Or should I say, "traitor?"
Buzz Lightyear: I don't have time for this...
Buzz Lightyear #2: Has your mind been melted? You could have killed me, Space Ranger. Or should I say "traitor."
Buzz Lightyear: I don't have time for this.
Rex: How do you spell FBI?
Slinky Dog: We've been down this aisle already.
Mr. Potato Head: We haven't been down this aisle, it's pink.
Slinky Dog: Face it, we're lost.
Buzz Lightyear: To Al's Toy Barn... and beyond.
[Hamm's cork has popped out and there is change all over the sidewalk]
Hamm: All right, nobody look till I get my cork back in.
Slinky Dog: How are we going to get up there?
Rex: Maybe if we found some balloons, we could float to the top.
Hamm: Turn into the spin, Barbie!
[in "Woody's Roundup" Jessie is trying to extinguish a dynamite fuse]
Stinky Pete the Prospector: You're just fannin' the flames, Jessie. It takes brains to put out that fire.
[sits on the fuse, then jumps right back up]
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Yeow! My biscuits are burning!
Slinky Dog: Buzz, Buzz! My backend's going to Baton Rouge!
Jessie: You callin' me a liar?
Woody: Well, if the boot fits...
Jessie: [adjusting her hat] Say that again.
Woody: [slowly] If the boot-tuh fits!
Rex: Buzz, you could have defeated Zurg all along! You just got to believe in yourself!
Emperor Zurg: Prepare to die.
Rex: Aah! I can't look!
[as Rex turns he knocks Zurg down the elevator shaft with his tail]
Emperor Zurg: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Rex: I did it! I finally defeated Zurg!
Buzz Lightyear #2: [forlornly reaching down at the abyss] Father.
Alien toys: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
Mrs. Potato Head: You saved their lives? My hero! They're so adorable. Let's adopt them!
Alien toys: [Gathering around Mr. Potato Head] Daddy!
Buzz Lightyear #2: Will somebody *please* explain what's going on?
Buzz Lightyear: It's all right, Space Ranger. It's a code 546.
Buzz Lightyear #2: [gasps] You mean it's a...?
Buzz Lightyear: Yes.
Buzz Lightyear #2: And he's a...?
Buzz Lightyear: Oh, yeah.
[Buzz #2 runs over to Woody and gets down on his knees]
Buzz Lightyear #2: Your Majesty.
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Idiots! Children destroy toys. You'll be ruined, forgotten, spending eternity rotting on some landfill.
Woody: Well, Stinky Pete, I think it's time you learned the true meaning of playtime.
Woody: You really ARE Stinky Pete, aren't you?
Jessie: Prospector, this isn't fair!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Fair? I'll tell you what's not fair: Spending a lifetime on a dime-store shelf watching every other toy be sold! Well, finally my waiting has paid off, and no hand-me-down cowboy doll is gonna mess it up for me now!
Slinky Dog: [the toys are climbing up an elevator shaft. Some coins fall out of Hamm's stomach opening and hit Slinky in the face] Pork bellies are falling.
Buzz Lightyear: [looking at another toy of himself] Am I really that fat?
Rex: [Rex is running to catch up with the toy car Barbie is driving] Hey guys! Wait for me!
[he trips and falls face first into the backseat]
Tour guide Barbie: Remain seated, please! Permanecer sentados, por favor!
Rex: Guys, we can't park here. It's a white zone.
Woody: I have no choice, Buzz. This is my only chance.
Buzz Lightyear: To do what? Watch kids from behind glass and never be loved again? Some life.
Woody: Here's your list of things to do while I'm gone: batteries need to be changed. Toys at the bottom of the chest need to be rotated. Oh, and make sure everyone attends Mr. Spell's seminar on what to do if you or part of you is swallowed. Okay? Okay, good, okay.
Rex: It's the chicken man!
Buzz Lightyear: That's our guy!
Hamm: I knew there was somethin' I didn't like about that chicken.
Slinky Dog: Pardon me, gentlemen, but have either of you seen a cowboy doll with a bad arm?
Blue Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot: [politely] Why, no. I haven't.
Red Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot: [yelling] Hey! He was talkin' to me!
Blue Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot: No! He was talkin' to me!
Red Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot: Why, you! I'll...!
[they both fight until the red robot's head pops up]
Buzz Lightyear: Woody once risked his life to save mine, and I couldn't call myself his friend if I wasn't willing to do the same. Now who's with me?
Woody: [Woody's arm finally rips completely off] Aaaahhh! It's gone! I can't believe it! My arm is completely gone!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: All right. Come here. Come on. Let me see that. Oh, it's just a popped seam. Easily repaired! You should consider yourself lucky.
Woody: Lucky? Are you shrink-wrapped? I am missing my ARM!
Jessie: Big deal!
[shoots a plunger onto a cardboard display of Woody]
Jessie: Let him go! I'm sure his precious Andy is dying to play with a one-armed cowboy doll.
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Now, Jessie, you know that he wouldn't last an hour on the streets in his condition. It's a dangerous world out there for a toy.
[In the beginning of the movie, Rex just lost a Buzz Lightyear vs. Emperor Zurg game, right when nearly winning]
Rex: No, no, no, no.
Buzz Lightyear: Oh, you almost had him.
Rex: I'm never gonna defeat Zurg!
Buzz Lightyear: Sure, you will, Rex. In fact, you're a better Buzz than I am.
Rex: But look at my little arms! I can't press the "fire" button and jump at the same time!
[gestures those buttons]
[Woody goes to the yard sale]
Mr. Potato Head: Where is he going? He's nuts!
Slinky Dog: His arm ain't that bad!
Rex: Don't do it, Woody! We love you!
Woody: [Jessie shuts off the TV as the "Woody's Roundup" episode ends] Hey, w-wait, What happened? What happens next? Come on, let's see the next episode!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: That's it.
Stinky Pete the Prospector: The show was cancelled after that.
Woody: Wait, wait, wait. What about the gold mine and... and the cute little critters and the dynamite? That was a great show! I mean, why cancel it?
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Two words: Sput-nik. Once the astronauts went up, children only wanted to play with space toys.
Woody: ...I know how that feels.
Hamm: All right, let's review this one more time. At precisely 8:32-ish, Exhibit A, Woody, was kidnapped.
[Etch-A-Sketch draws Woody]
Hamm: Exhibit B, a composide sketch of the kidnapper.
[Etch-A-Sketch draws Al with a long beard]
Bo Peep: He didn't have a beard like that.
Hamm: Fine. Uh, Etch, give him a shave.
[Etch-A-Sketch redraws Al without a beard]
Slinky Dog: The kidnapper was bigger than that.
Hamm: Oh, picky, picky, picky.
Mr. Potato Head: Oh, let's just go straight to Exhibit F! The kidnapper's vehicle.
[Refers to their toy reconstruction of the driveway]
Mr. Potato Head: Now the vehicle fled the scene in this direction.
[pushes a toy car to the left]
Hamm: Oh, your parts are in backwards! It went the other way!
[pushes the toy car right]
Hamm: Hey, put a cork in it!
[Rex walks through, destroying their model]
Rex: Hey, how do you spell F-B-I?
Mr. Potato Head: My crime scene!
Hamm: Hey, watch where you're going, Godspilla!
Rex: I didn't know this was a crime scene!
Buzz Lightyear: Good work, men. Two blocks down and only nineteen more to go.
Mr. Potato Head: What?
Mr. Potato Head: Are we gonna do this all night? My parts are killing me.
Buzz Lightyear: Come on, fellas. Did Woody give up when Sid had me strapped to a rocket?
Buzz Lightyear: No. And did he give up when you threw him out of the back of that moving van?
Mr. Potato Head: Oh, you had to bring *that* up!
Buzz Lightyear: No, he didn't! We have a friend in need, and we're not going to rest until he's safe in Andy's room! Now, let's move out!
Buzz Lightyear: Buzz, are you coming?
Buzz Lightyear #2: No, I... I have a lot of catching up to do with my dad.
[Buzz throws the ball back to Zurg; it hits him on the head]
Emperor Zurg: Good throw, son. That's my boy! Go long, Buzzy!
[throws Buzz another ball]
Buzz Lightyear #2: Oh, you're a great dad. Yippee!
Buzz Lightyear: Farewell!
Buzz Lightyear #2: [thinks the approaching elevator is walls closing in] Quick! Help me prop up Vegetable Man, or we're done for!
Andy: You must choose, Sheriff Woody. How shall she die? Shark, or death by monkeys?
Woody: I know! It's okay, Buzz. I actually want to go.
Mr. Potato Head: What? Are you crazy?
Woody: Look, the thing is, I'm this rare "Sheriff Woody" doll, and these guys, are my - round-up gang.
Buzz Lightyear: Woody, what are you talking about?
Woody: What am I talking about? "Woody's Round-Up"! Oh, it's this great old T.V. show, and I was the star.
[turns on T.V. and "Woody's Round-Up" video starts playing]
Woody: See, look, that's me!
Hamm: This is weirdin' me out.
[last spoken lines]
Buzz Lightyear: You still worried?
Woody: About Andy? Nah, it will be fun while it lasts.
Buzz Lightyear: I'm proud of you, cowboy.
Woody: Besides, when it all ends I'll have old Buzz Lightyear to keep me company - for infinity and beyond.
Woody: Your'e right, Prospector. I can't stop Andy from growing up... but I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Buzz Lightyear #2: Hang tight everyone, I'm going to let go of the wall.
[they all look up at him shocked]
Slinky Dog: Huh?
Mr. Potato Head: He wouldn't!
Buzz Lightyear #2: One!
Hamm: He would.
Buzz Lightyear #2: Two!
Buzz Lightyear #2: Three!
[he lets go of the wall and they all land on the elevator, which is coming up the shaft]
Buzz Lightyear #2: To infinity and beyond! Approaching destination. Reengaging gravity.
[gets off the elevator into the vent]
Buzz Lightyear #2: Area secure.
Buzz Lightyear #2: It's OK troops, the antigravity sickness will wear off momentarily. Now, let's move!
Mr. Potato Head: Remind me to glue his helmet shut when we get back.
Woody: Jessie, let go of the plane!
Jessie: What? Are you crazy?
Woody: Just pretend it's the final episode of "Woody's Roundup".
Jessie: But it was cancelled! We never saw if you made it!
Woody: Well, then, let's find out together!
Jessie: That was definitely Woody's finest hour!
[in the airplane's cargo hold, Woody finds Jessie rolled up in a corner of the green case]
Woody: [deep voice] Excuse me, ma'am, but I believe you're on the wrong flight.
[Woody, Buzz, Jessie, and Bullseye are celebrating their escape when another plane comes in only a few inches over them]
Woody: Let's... go home.
Rex: [as Al drives off] How are we going to get him now?
Mr. Potato Head: Pizza, anyone?
[camera pans to reveal the Pizza Planet delivery truck]
Buzz Lightyear: [landing on Zurg's planet] Buzz Lightyear to mission log: All signs point to this planet as location of Zurg's fortress, but there seems to be no signs of intelligent life anywhere...
[Buzz #2 and the other toys tries to get Woody back home]
Buzz Lightyear: Hold it right there!
Buzz Lightyear #2: You again?
Buzz Lightyear: Woody! Thank goodness you're all right.
Woody: Buzz, what is going on?
Buzz Lightyear #2: [throws Woody onto the floor] Hold on! I am Buzz Lightyear, and I'm in charge of this detachment.
Buzz Lightyear: No, *I'm* Buzz Lightyear.
Buzz Lightyear #2: [arguing with Buzz #1] *I'm* Buzz Lightyear!
Buzz Lightyear: *I* am Buzz Lightyear!
Woody: So, who's the *real* Buzz?
Buzz Lightyear #2: Don't let this imposter fool you! He's been trained by Zurg himself to mimic my every move.
Buzz Lightyear: Woody, stop this nonsense and let's go.
Woody: Nah, Buzz.
Woody: I can't go. I can't abandon these guys. They need me to get into this museum. Without me, they'll go back into storage. Maybe forever.
Buzz Lightyear: Woody, you're not a collector's item, you're a child's plaything. You are a *toy*!
Woody: For how much longer? One more rip, and Andy's done with me. And what do I do then, Buzz? Huh? You tell me.
Buzz Lightyear: Somewhere in that pad of stuffing is a toy who taught me that life's only worth living if you're being loved by a kid. And I traveled all this way to rescue that toy because I believed him.
Woody: Well, you wasted your time.
Emperor Zurg: [referring to Buzz as he pulls back on a lever] Come to me, my prey...
Buzz Lightyear #2: Oh no, the walls are closing in!
[grabs Mr. Potato head and mounts him aganist the celing of the vent]
Buzz Lightyear #2: Quick, help me prop up Vegetable man here or we're done for!
Woody: [after dealing with Prospector] I think it's time that Prospector learned something called playtime.
[points to something off screen]
Woody: Right over there guys!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: No, no, No!
[we see a Barbie backpack come out of the baggage room with the Prospector sitting in the netting in front]
Amy: [offscreen] Look, Barbie! A big ugly man-doll! Ooh, he needs a makeover.
[Amy grabs her backpack and puts her Barbie doll in. The doll's head is facing to the left of the screen]
Barbie: Hi, you'll like Amy.
[Turns her face to reveal a bunch of make up on her cheek]
Barbie: She's an artist!
[In Woody's dream, Andy came home from the cowboy camp. Woody then yells at the other toys that Andy's back. The toys ran back to their places. Andy ran up to his bedroom, riding on his stick with a horse head on. He then sees Woody]
Andy: Hey, Woody! Did you miss me?
[Takes Woody and plays with him]
Andy: Giddyup, giddyup, giddyup, ridin' cowboy!
[notices Woody's broken arm]
Andy: [depressed] Oh, I forgot, you're broken. I won't even play with you anymore.
[In slow motion, Andy drops Woody on the cards. Woody fell through the cards and into the trash can. Woody then got scared in the trash can and the arms and hands reaches out to grab him. Woody then wails for Andy]
Woody: No, no, no, no, no!
[the silhouette of Andy came and looks at Woody]
Andy: [echo] Byyyyyyyyyyyyyye, Woodyyyyyyyyy.
Woody: No, no! ANDY!
[Andy closes lid and Woody's nightmare ends. Woody wakes up, screaming, and sees his broken arm tangled around his neck]
Geri the Cleaner: [standing outside to door of Al McWiggan's apartment] Is the specimen ready for cleaning?
Mr. Potato Head: Oh, let's just go straight to Exhibit F - the kidnapper's vehicle was seen fleeing in this direction.
[pushes the car left]
Hamm: Oh, your parts are in backwards, it's this way!
[pushes the toy car right]
Mr. Potato Head: Hey, put a cork in it!
Rex: [walks over, knocking things everywhere] Hey, how do you spell F-B-I?
Hamm: My crime scene!
[they all start to bicker]
Buzz Lightyear: Excuse me, excuse me, a little quiet please! Thank you.
Woody: [deleted scene]
[Woody is asking the Roundup gang to come back to Andy's with him]
Woody: Bullseye, are you with me?
[Bullseye licks him like a dog]
Woody: Ah! Okay! Good boy.
[walks toward Prospector's box]
Woody: Prospector, how 'bout you?
[turns box around]
Stinky Pete the Prospector: [talking to two Barbie dolls] ... And so you two are absolutey identical?
Stinky Pete the Prospector: You know, I'm sure I could get you a part in Toy Story 3.
[notices the camera crew filming]
Stinky Pete the Prospector: I'm sorry, are we back? Oh! All right, girls. Lovely talking with you -
[pushes box door open]
- yes, any time you'd like some tips on acting I'd be glad to chat with you. Alright, off you go, then.
Hamm: Excuse me, ladies, but could any of you tell us where we might the Al of Al's Toy Barn?
Tour guide Barbie: I can help!
[slides down the slide and into the toy car]
Tour guide Barbie: I'm Tour Guide Barbie! Please keep your hands, arms, and accessories in the car, and no flash photography. Thank you.
Mr. Potato Head: I'm a married spud, I'm a married spud...
Hamm: Then make way for the single fellas.
Al McWiggin: You, my little cowboy friend, are gonna make me big buck-buck-bucks!
Al McWiggin: [sadly] Welcome to Al's Toy Barn. We've got the lowest prices in town. Everything for a buck-buck-buck.
Woody's Roundup Announcer: Will Woody and Bullseye land to safety? Can they reach Jessie and Stinky Pete in time? Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion: "Woody's Finest Hour"!
Mr. Potato Head: I found it.
Woody: You found my hat?
Mr. Potato Head: Your hat? No. The missus lost her earring. Oh my little sweet potato!
Mrs. Potato Head: You found it! Oh, it's so nice to have a big, strong spud around the house.
Andy's Mom: Andy, honey, come on! Five minutes and we're leaving.
Andy: Five minutes? Hmm...
[cut to a setup Andy has made for a quick playtime]
Andy: [as Bo Peep] Help, help, somebody help me!
Andy: Let her go, evil Doctor Pork Chop!
[as Hamm or Dr. Pork Chop]
Andy: Nevar! You must choose, Sheriff Woody. How shall she die? Shark? Or death by monkeys?
[Andy picks up some of the "monkeys-in-a-barrel"]
Andy: Ooh ooh ooh, ah ah ah!
Andy: I choose Buzz Lightyear!
[Andy grabs RC's remote, puts Buzz on top and speeds him towards Hamm]
Andy: [as Hamm] What? That's not a choice!
[RC flies through the air and knocks Hamm off the Bucket O' Soldiers]
Andy: [as Buzz] To infinity and beyond!
[Hamm falls off and coins clatter on the floor]
Andy: [as Woody] I'll save you, Miss Peep!
[as Bo Peep]
Andy: My hero! Mwa mwa mwa mwa!
[he has her kiss him]
Andy: [as Woody] Thanks, Buzz!
Andy: No problem, buddy!
[he links their arms]
Andy: You should never tangle with the unstoppable duo of Woody and Buzz Lightyear!
[Andy pulls too hard and Buzz's arm makes Woody's tear slightly at the shoulder]
Andy: Oh no!
Andy's Mom: Andy? Let's go! Molly's already in her car seat!
Andy: But Mom, Woody's arm ripped!
Andy's Mom: Oh no! Well maybe we can fix him on the way.
Andy: Nah, just leave him.
Andy's Mom: I'm sorry, honey, but you know, toys don't last forever.