Townies (1999)

User Rating:

4.4/10   

Director:

Wayne A. Harold

Writer:

Wayne A. Harold (writer)

Release Date:

8 November 1999 (USA)

Genre:

Comedy | Horror

Tagline:

Lurid Entertainment presents a Magnum Opus of CineTrash!

Plot:

Welcome to Schlarb, Ohio... a small county seat overrun by misfits, freaks and weirdos! Dickie is a...

Plot Keywords:

Cult | Corpse | Black Comedy | Squirrel | Licking

Cast

P. Craig Russell	...	The Clapper
Lori Scarlett	...	Pricey
Jeremy Maes	...	The Licker
Jay Geldhof	...	William
Michelle Sibits	...	Crazy Connie
Toby Radloff	...	Dickie
Sean Wolf	...	Thad
Phil Schmeidel	...	Billy
Shannon McNamara	...	Kelli
Lauren Monaco	...	Kelli's Girlfriend
Shane Koltnow	...	Caduceus
Traci Marks	...	Jeffy's Mom
Eddie Brown	...	Little Jeffy
The Duke	...	Pricey's Grandpa
Coy G. Harold	...	Man With Squirrel

Runtime:

80 min | USA:69 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Black and White

Sound Mix:

Stereo

Filming Locations:

Kent, Ohio, USA

Company:

Lurid Entertainment

Quotes:

William: Damn you, Chico!

Movie Connections:

References Killer Nerd (1991)

Z squared!

Townies is the laziest movie I have ever seen, and I saw the Blair Witch movies (parts one and two). It seems confused in what it wants to be. It's not funny enough for comedy, it's not tragic enough for drama, it's not bloody enough for horror, and it's not good enough for watching. It has scenes of a man doing "slapstick/bloody" karate so I think, oh this movie will be in the vein of Toxic Avenger and Street Trash. Then it leaps without warning into a drama about a missing girl, a retarded (mentally handicap) woman and a trusting mother. Then it slaps itself into the ONLY good part in the movie which seems to be set up like a sitcom without the laugh tracks. The part I'm speaking of is a lonely TOWNIE who is so lonely he finds comfort in a rotting corpse. That was the ONLY part of the movie that gave me ANY feeling. The rest was a waist of my life. Then, just to show how CRUEL Wayne is there is a kind of DOCUMENTARY at the end of the film of Wayne (the Director) making fun of Toby (the star) in public. It made me sick. Even though Killer Nerd and Bride of Killer Nerd (two other movies by Wayne) aren't the best, they at least are thought out enough were you can stay entertained until the ending credits. I even like Killer Nerd a bit, it had some great lines I still use to this day.

If you like underground films, if you like overground films, and if you like to watch your feet, just resting were they are, you will not like TOWNIES!

*1/2 (out of ****)