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Townies (1999)

4.6
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Ratings: 4.6/10 from 134 users  
Reviews: 8 user | 14 critic

Welcome to Schlarb, Ohio... a small county seat overrun by misfits, freaks and weirdos! Dickie is a lonely dumpster-driver who finds companionship in his latest dumpster discovery, a young ... See full summary »

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(as Wayne A. Harold)

Writer:

(as Wayne A. Harold)
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Edit

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
P. Craig Russell ...
The Clapper
Lori Scarlett ...
Pricey
Jeremy Maes ...
The Licker
Jay Geldhof ...
William
Michelle Sibits ...
Crazy Connie
Toby Radloff ...
Dickie
Sean Wolf ...
Thad
Phil Schmeidel ...
Billy
Shannon McNamara ...
Kelli
Lauren Monaco ...
Kelli's Girlfriend
Shane Koltnow ...
Caduceus
Traci Marks ...
Jeffy's Mom
Eddie Brown ...
Little Jeffy
The Duke ...
Pricey's Grandpa
Coy G. Harold ...
Man With Squirrel
Edit

Storyline

Welcome to Schlarb, Ohio... a small county seat overrun by misfits, freaks and weirdos! Dickie is a lonely dumpster-driver who finds companionship in his latest dumpster discovery, a young woman's corpse! Pricey is a mute intellectually disabled girl with a lookalike baby-doll. When she loses her doll after an unsavory encounter with a mean cracker, she replaces it with the next best thing, her neighbor's young son! Meanwhile, the enigmatic Caduceus sets out to cleanse a nasty high school girl of her wicked ways! You'll also meet The Clapper, William, The Licker, Crazy Connie and other wild and wacky Townies in this Magnum Opus of CineTrash from cult filmmaker Wayne Alan Harold. Written by Wayne Alan Harold <wayne@lurid.com>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Lurid Entertainment presents a Magnum Opus of CineTrash!

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

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Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

8 November 1999 (USA)  »

Filming Locations:

 »

Company Credits

Production Co:

 »
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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

See  »
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Did You Know?

Quotes

The Licker: Why don't you go down to the grocery store and sit in the dairy section? That way everyone will know YOU are the head cheese!
See more »

Connections

References Quincy M.E. (1976) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Z squared!
28 January 2002 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

Townies is the laziest movie I have ever seen, and I saw the Blair Witch movies (parts one and two). It seems confused in what it wants to be. It's not funny enough for comedy, it's not tragic enough for drama, it's not bloody enough for horror, and it's not good enough for watching. It has scenes of a man doing "slapstick/bloody" karate so I think, oh this movie will be in the vein of Toxic Avenger and Street Trash. Then it leaps without warning into a drama about a missing girl, a retarded (mentally handicap) woman and a trusting mother. Then it slaps itself into the ONLY good part in the movie which seems to be set up like a sitcom without the laugh tracks. The part I'm speaking of is a lonely TOWNIE who is so lonely he finds comfort in a rotting corpse. That was the ONLY part of the movie that gave me ANY feeling. The rest was a waist of my life. Then, just to show how CRUEL Wayne is there is a kind of DOCUMENTARY at the end of the film of Wayne (the Director) making fun of Toby (the star) in public. It made me sick. Even though Killer Nerd and Bride of Killer Nerd (two other movies by Wayne) aren't the best, they at least are thought out enough were you can stay entertained until the ending credits. I even like Killer Nerd a bit, it had some great lines I still use to this day.

If you like underground films, if you like overground films, and if you like to watch your feet, just resting were they are, you will not like TOWNIES!

*1/2 (out of ****)


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