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Out to Sea (1997) Poster

(1997)

Quotes

Mavis: Which Wright Brother did you buy this plane from?

Leon the Pilot: [sarcastic] Probably the one you dated in high school.

Mavis: Oh, that's reassuring. We have a funny pilot.

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Charlie: Be careful! Some of the big fish can swallow you whole.

Herb: Swallow my what? You're not helping.

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Charlie: There's no such thing as too late. That's why they invented death.

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Herb: [to Gil Godwyn while in the lifeboat] /Listen to me, you sniveling little brown-nose. I have lived for 71 years, I've fought a war, I've buried my wife and I've survived 48 white sales at Gimble's. So if you think a little fop like you is gonna stop me, you've got another think coming!

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[Herb and Charlie have successfully left the ship in the lifeboat]

Gil Godwyn: [furiously] I hope your boat capsizes and you drown like bloody rats!

CharlieHerb: Bye!

[Ellen Carruthers walks in at this point]

Gil Godwyn: When that old bag makes me VP, I'll see to it you two never work on a cruise ship again as long as you LIVE!

[turns around, sees Ellen]

Gil Godwyn: [shocked, but tries to save face] Good evening, Ellen.

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[Ellen heard Gil's rant]

Ellen Carruthers: You know, Gil. I never believed it but it's true. You really *are* an asshole!

Gil Godwyn: [flustered] I was simply doing my job.

Ellen Carruthers: Oh, you have no job. You're fired. Mac, as of now, you're my new CD.

Jonathan Devereaux: [as Ellen starts to leave] What about *me*?

Ellen Carruthers: [pointing to Mac] You're... his friend.

[leaves]

Ellen Carruthers: [Mac and Jonathan turn on Gil]

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[Mac has replaced Gil as the Cruise Director]

Gil Godwyn: What's she talking about?

Mac Valor: She's talking about "Button that button, you little prick!"

[leaves]

Jonathan Devereaux: Prick.

[leaves]

Jonathan Devereaux: [Gil stands there, still in shock]

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Liz LaBreche: [Charlie fakes a fall onto the deck to hide from Gil spotting him fraternizing with Liz] Oh, what's the matter? Are you all right?

Charlie: An old football injury.

Liz LaBreche: College?

Charlie: No, professional. The Jets blew a 30-point lead against the Dolphins. I tried to throw my TV set out the window.

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Mavis: Which one of the Wright brothers did you buy this from?

Leon the Pilot: Probably the one you dated in high school.

Mavis: Wooo! I feel so much better. That's very reassuring. We have a FUNNY pilot!

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Charlie: We're not working. We're dancing and cavorting.

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Gil Godwyn: I'm your worst nightmare: a song-and-dance man raised on a military base.

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Mavis LaBreche: I saw the way you were looking at my daughter's chest.

Charlie: I used to be a cardiologist.

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Gil: I've got my eye on you, Gordon.

Charlie Gordon: You're not so bad yourself! Heh! Heh! Heh!

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Mavis LaBreche: I need a crap and a nap and I don't need an audience!"

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Herb: Look at the size of this room! A good fart will give you a concussion!

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[after seeing their cabin]

Herb: Cozy? A good fart will give you a concussion!

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Herb: Listen, I'm not authorized to throw your ass over board, but I will!

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Charlie: With an ass so beautiful, it's a shame she has to sit down on it.

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Charlie: I'm waiting for my sexual prime.

Liz LaBreche: And just when do you think that's gonna happen?

Charlie: [Charlie looks at watch. She laughs]

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Gil Godwyn: [Sniffing Charles] Is that cologne, or Armor All?

Charlie: That's close, close. It's cologne, but I bought it at a gas station.

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Herb: I'll tell you the truth, Gil, I lost my wife not too long ago...

Gil Godwyn: Oh, good. Good! Tell it to the ladies. They eat it up.

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Gil Godwyn: We shall have to call the Guinness Book of Records about your friend Charlie.

Herb: What? Now what?

Gil Godwyn: Oh, he's taking the longest piss in freaking recorded history

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Charlie Gordon: Why are you sterilizing your trousers?

Herb: [Annoyed] I'm *steaming* them.

Charlie Gordon: Oh, then what are you gonna' do, eat 'em with garlic butter?

Herb: It takes the wrinkles out, you imbecile!

Charlie Gordon: Huh! When a man is steaming his pants at midnight, it generally means there's a broad.

Herb: No broad!

Charlie Gordon: Well, that's too bad, 'cause I got one lined up: rich... "Texas rich." With an ass so beautiful, it's a shame she has to sit down on it.

Herb: Will you do me a favor and just knock that stuff off?

Charlie Gordon: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you were cooking.

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Liz LaBreche: My husband was in the oil business with my dad. If daddy trusted him, I figured I could trust him, too.

Charlie: So, what happened?

Liz LaBreche: Well, as it turned out, there were a lot of test wells he was drillin' on the side.

Charlie: Should've had him neutered.

Liz LaBreche: Oh, I did, ha ha. Except I used an attorney instead of a doctor.

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Ellen Carruthers: [Dancing with Charlie, who is extremely awkward] What do you call this step?

Charlie: This is called "the Brazilian Creep."

Ellen Carruthers: Oh?

Charlie: In Brazil, of course, it's just called "the creep".

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Charlie: [Seeing Vivian entering the dance area] So... it's the broad that stole our airplane seats.

Herb: [Annoyed] That "broad" happens to have been an editor at Doubleday.

Charlie: Who cares?

Herb: All I was, was a clerk at Gimbel's.

Charlie: And Secretariat was just a horse. Go on, ask her to dance!

Herb: Oh, it's too late, Charlie.

Charlie: There's no such thing as "too late". That's why they invented death!

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Charlie Gordon: Liz... from the first moment I saw you on that ship... it was my intention to lie to you, I swear.

Liz LaBreche: Well, *that's* sweet.

Charlie Gordon: What I didn't intend, was falling in love with you.

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Mac Valor: [Seeing Charlie and Herb dancing together] Don't ask, don't tell.

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Mavis: Hah! A couple of gold diggers, comin' up empty. That's terrific!

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Charlie: What do I look like, a schmuck?

Mavis: The jury's still out on that one.

Liz LaBreche: Shut up, ma. We're keepin' him.

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Herb: [Last lines] You're not getting' a nickel out of me, Charlie!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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