Charlie:
We're not working. We're dancing and cavorting.
Gil Godwyn:
I'm your worst nightmare: a song-and-dance man raised on a military base.
Mavis:
Which Wright Brother did you buy this plane from?
Leon the Pilot:
Probably the one you dated in high school.
Charlie:
Be careful! Some of the big fish can swallow you whole.
Herb:
Swallow my what?
Mavis LaBreche:
I saw the way you were looking at my daughter's chest.
Charlie:
I used to be a cardiologist.
Charlie:
No such thing as too late. That's why they invented death.
Gil:
I've got my eye on you, Gordon.
Charlie Gordon:
You're not so bad yourself! Heh! Heh! Heh!
Mavis LaBreche:
I need a crap and a nap and I don't need an audience!"
Herb:
Look at the size of this room! A good fart will give you a concussion!
[
after seeing their cabin]
Herb:
Cozy? A good fart will give you a concussion!
Herb:
Listen, I'm not authorized to throw your ass over board, but I will!
Herb:
[
to Gil Godwyn while in the lifeboat] /Listen to me, you sniveling little brown-nose. I have lived for 71 years, I've fought a war, I've buried my wife and I've survived 48 white sales at Gimble's. So if you think a little fop like you is gonna stop me, you've got another think coming!
[
Herb and Charlie have successfully left the ship in the lifeboat]
Gil Godwyn:
I hope your boat capsizes and you drown like bloody rats!
Charlie, Herb:
Bye!
[
Ellen Carruthers walks in at this point]
Gil Godwyn:
When that old bag makes me VP, I'll see to it you two never work on a cruise ship again as long as you LIVE!
[
turns around, sees Ellen]
Gil Godwyn:
[
shocked] Ellen.
[
Ellen heard Gil's rant]
Ellen Carruthers:
You know, Gil. I never believed it but it's true. You really *are* an asshole!
Gil Godwyn:
[
flustered] I was simply doing my job.
Ellen Carruthers:
Oh, you have no job. You're fired. Mac, as of now, you're my new CD.
Jonathan Devereaux:
[
as Ellen starts to leave] What about *me*?
Ellen Carruthers:
[
pointing to Mac] You're... his friend.
[
leaves]
Ellen Carruthers:
[
Mac and Jonathan turn on Gil]
[
Mac has replaced Gil as the Cruise Director]
Gil Godwyn:
What's she talking about?
Mac Valor:
She's talking about "Button that button, you little prick!"
[
leaves]
Jonathan Devereaux:
Prick.
[
leaves]
Jonathan Devereaux:
[
Gil stands there, still in shock]
Charlie:
With an ass so beautiful, it's a shame she has to sit down on it.
Related Links