Nothing to Lose (1997)
Nick Beam: Where do I start? It's not you. Well actually it is you. Look, I'm just not... I'm not attracted to you anymore. I need space. You kinda... you kinda gross me out. In the beginning it was different. In the beginning, you were better. But then I got to know you real well, and I came to realize... that you're a fat idiot.
T. Paul: I'm a student of human nature.
Nick Beam: You're a freak of human nature.
T. Paul: Hey, is this your wife? Damn! I see why you were upset! Not bad Nick, not bad, Nick! You know, for a cheatin' bitch.
Nick Beam: Hey! Don't you call her that, you don't know her, don't say that.
T. Paul: Okay, okay, no disrespect. What should I call her? "Monogamously challenged"?
[T. Paul sneaks into Nick's car and points a gun to his head]
T. Paul: Welcome to hell, Bi-atch! Car keys, wallet, now!
[No reaction from Nick]
T. Paul: You hear what I said? Okay you listen and listen good. This a gun. Kay? Don't be fucking around with no gun, white boy.
T. Paul: Helen Keller, I'm talking to you!
[imitates deaf person]
T. Paul: I know you hear what the fuck I'm saying to you.
Nick Beam: [smiles] Boy, did you pick the wrong guy on the wrong day.
[he locks the doors, and floors the accelerator]
Nick Beam: You don't say "sorry" when you shoot somebody. You can say "sorry" when you step on someone's toe, or accidentally break their glasses, or when you fart while they're eating. YOU DON'T SAY YOU'RE SORRY WHEN YOU SHOOT SOMEONE!
T. Paul: I never noticed before, but you really got nice eyes.
Nick Beam: Shut up!
T. Paul: But you do.
Nick Beam: Let's get this over with, I can't believe I'm committing an armed robbery for two flashlights.
T. Paul: Let me explain something to you, Nick: if you ain't got digital, you ain't got shit. This has only got one CCD chip. Broadcast has three, Nick!
[Nick glares at him]
T. Paul: Don't look at me like that. Are you surprised I know shit?
Nick Beam: [Pointing gun at clerk] Now all I want is twenty dollars on pump number fifteen and a sour fruity twist, is that too much to ask?
Nick Beam: The guy that sold me that camera set up our computer network.
T. Paul: Windows NT?
Nick Beam: No, just Windows.
T. Paul: Man, get out of here with that shit.
Nick Beam: Now honestly, which one of us was scarier?
Henry: [Looking at T] He was scarier.
T. Paul: Hah!
Nick Beam: Really? You didn't find what he did as contrived?
Henry: No it was scary.
Nick Beam: What part?
Henry: The 'freeze motherfucker' part was scary and he lead me to believe that if I moved my ass, it might be blown off.
[the two sheriffs go over paperwork after the gas station robbery]
Sheriff: They were driving a 1996 Yukon.
Sheriff Officer #1: License?
Sheriff: You know, if I had a license number, Bart, I wouldn't be standing here eating large quantities of shit, now would I?
T. Paul: What is beetle headed?
Nick Beam: It's a synonym for stupid!
T. Paul: Oh. Well, here's a synonym for procreation: fuck you! It's easy for you to point the finger when you're sitting on your rich ass in a big fucking house!
Nick Beam: I'm not rich.
T. Paul: Oh yeah? How big's your TV?
Nick Beam: What?
T. Paul: I said how big's your TV?
Nick Beam: 50 inch!
T. Paul: Ah, get in the car.
Nick Beam: Please, let's not make this a social issue!
Rig: I bet you sold more girl scout cookies than any other member of the whole troop, didn't you? What were you calling yourself back then? Yelanda? You little bitch! Cynthia? Susan? What was it, I can't remember.
Mrs. Davidson: When are you gonna stop getting into trouble, Terrence?
Nick Beam: Terrence?
T. Paul: T! Okay, my friends call me T. You, can kiss my ass!
[after T. Paul robbed a gas station]
T. Paul: We better get going.
Nick Beam: We'll get going just as soon as you bring back that money.
T. Paul: I'm not bullshitting! Move out!
Nick Beam: We're not going anywhere until you return...
[the side mirror is blown off]
Nick Beam: Here we go.
Rig: Hey, Kareem, do you know that Charlie and I had originally intended to come up here and cap your punk ass. And your girlfriend, Nick, but shit, you two muffins did such a nice job with this financing, who could think about killing at a time like this?
T. Paul: Thanks, your approval means a lot!
Rig: You know when a sweet mouth girl like you has a fancy case like this a man gets to thinkin' ; where's a wallet? I'm gonna need that wallet, Alice. Where's that big fat wallet? Give it to me. Give me your fucking wallet you little bitch.
Rig: Nick, are you aware that there are only two kinds of people on the whole planet? There are killers and then there's everybody else. I'm the killer, Nick, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what are you, Nick?
Nick Beam: I'm married!
[Fires his rifle at Rig, hitting his hand]
T. Paul: Ha ha, who's in control now? Hand over the bag or else my man Nick Beam here is gonna put one in your ass. Ain't that right Nick?
T. Paul: Why can't we use the elevator?
Nick Beam: Because there's a guard that patrols the building.
T. Paul: This is bullshit!
Nick Beam: [At top of 15 flights of steps] I beat you.
T Paul: I carried the damn bag!
Nick Beam: I still beat you.
T Paul: Beat me at what? Climbing steps? Guess we'll be calling you the Step King.
T. Paul: There's a spider on your head.
Nick Beam: What?
T. Paul: There's a spider on yo head.
Nick Beam: Look, I'm sorry, I'm not up on all this jive talkin', home boy lingo, what's that supposed to mean? "There's a spider on your head"?
T. Paul: It means there's a spider on your motherfuckin' head, man!
Nick Beam: Well get it off! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
T. Paul: I ain't touchin' that shit!
T. Paul: That mask sweaty?
Nick Beam: I think that's the one.
T. Paul: I hid it behind my balls. Ha ha.
English Driver: Here, you blokes want a lift somewhere?
Charlie: Where you from?
English Driver: London.
Charlie: Me too!
English Driver: Really?
English Driver: That's terrific! Hop in me car, let's go then. C'mon, jump in, let's go. Oh this is great.
Charlie: Hey would ya scoot over a smidgeon?
[Shoves the English Driver out of the car and drives off]
Charlie: Sorry 'bout that! Cheers, mate! Ha ha ha ha!
Nick Beam: I'm actually grabbing a gun and going after bad guys.
T. Paul: [picking up Nick's credit card to find out who he is] I'm - I'm Nick Beam.That's what I told her. I'm Nick Beam. And Nick Beam ain't puttin' up with that bullshit. She'd have been crying, you know? "Oh, Nick, please take me back. Please, please, Nick. It was only one time." I'm gonna "one time" your ass. Nick Beam is the master of his fate, the ruler of his destiny. So if you wanna cry on somebody's shoulder, why don't you cry on Superdick? As for Nick Beam, I'm fit, lit, and I damn sure ain't takin' no shit. So you can get the fuck out. That's what I'd 'a told the bitch.
[Nick jumps across the table and begins choking T. Paul]
Rig: Nick, I like you like this. You and your prom date both having weapons. That way I don't have to kill an unarmed couple. Not my style.
T. Paul: Hey, you ain't one of them desert slashers, are you? Cut a person's body up and leave it out in the desert in little tiny pieces and shit, huh? Oh shit! We are in the fucking desert! I'm in a car with a psycho freaky Jason hack-killer motherfucker! Hey, please don't kill me, freaky Jason. I said, please don't kill me, freaky Jason.
[Nick is silent]
T. Paul: I done fucked around and caught a ride with the wrong white boy!
Nick Beam: What is Zippy?
Zachary: He's a cookie man.
Nick Beam: He's a cookie man? What is that on the ground behind him?
Zachary: Oh, that's a trail of chocolate chips. See, wherever Zippy goes, he leaves this magical trail of chocolate for all the boys and girls to...
Nick Beam: Magical? It looks like poop. It looks like piles of poop. It looks like Zippy is walking around just... Just crapping all over the place. It looks like...
Zachary: Those are chocolate chips.
Nick Beam: And what do you think it looks like? Zach, let's say you are about to take a bite out of a juicy chocolate chip cookie. What is the last image you want floating through your head?
Nick Beam: Excrement, right. Listen, I'm gonna go out on a limb here, maybe we should avoid all bowel related items on this particular project. Just a hunch, huh?
T. Paul: [Grabs Rig's gun and points it at him] Alright, drop the fucking gun. Drop the fucking gun!
[Charlie drops his gun; T. Paul takes Rig's rifle]
T. Paul: Give me this motherfucker. Now back the fuck up before I kick you in your bitch-ass chin. Back the fuck up! Didn't I say back the fuck up? Everybody back the fuck...
[Accidentally fires the gun; the bullet grazes Nick]
T. Paul: Oh shit.
Nick Beam: You shot me.
T. Paul: I'm sorry, Nick.
Rig: Put down the gun.
T. Paul: Shut up.
Nick Beam: You shot me!
T. Paul: I said I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to. The gun just went off. You know I have that same trouble in bed. Well, rarely. Every once in a gray while.
Rig: [a slow violin song plays on the radio] Charlie, this shit is depressing the shit out of me. It's making me sad.
Charlie: What? Oh come on, man, this shit is the shit. This is the shit. It's supposed to make you sad.
Rig: It's grim.
Charlie: Oh come on, man, this is THE SHIT. This shit IS the shit. This is the hellified LOVE music.
Rig: I'm in bad shape over here.
Charlie: You know, maybe I could you in to a nice AM station, get you some Donny Osmond. Ha ha ha.
Nick Beam: We have to bring the money back.
T. Paul: Ha ha. Maybe you a little confushed about the purpose of a robbery.
Nick Beam: Oh gee I didn't tell you, when we were at the hotel I called my wife. Everything's alright. She wasn't even there. Isn't that great? It was her sister and her sister's fiance.
Nick Beam: I don't give a damn if it was her Uncle Fester and Gumby. You ain't taking this money anywhere, man. I don't wanna hear all that.
Nick Beam: [Tries to grab the bag of money] Let go of the bag.
T. Paul: You let go of it.
Nick Beam: It's not your money.
T. Paul: It's not your money.
Nick Beam: It's not your money!
T. Paul: It's not yours... It's half mine!
T. Paul: You can stay at my place, man.
Nick Beam: Thanks. Just for the night.
T. Paul: What, did you think I was asking you to move in?
Nick Beam: No I was just saying...
T. Paul: Please, Mr. Beam, stay with me forever.
Nick Beam: Just shut up.
T. Paul: Mr. Beam.
Nick Beam: Shut up.
T. Paul: Mr. Beam, Mr. Beam, Mr. Beam.
Nick Beam: Do you know how to shut up? Is it in your vocabulary? Do you ever shut up?
T. Paul: Please stay with me forever, Mr. Beam!
T. Paul: Oh Mama. Please go on back to bed, Mama.
Bertha: [smacks T] What kind of man stay out 'til 2:30 in the morning and then comes back lookin' like a bruised turd?
T. Paul: Mama I wasn't...
Bertha: [Smacks him again] Don't you talk back!
Nick Beam: Don't talk back to your mother.
[Bertha slaps him]
Nick Beam: Ow. What did I do?
Bertha: You got that slap 'cause you with him and I know you part of whatever badness he into. You got some explainin' to do in the morning, Mr. Gentleman. Now you think on that!
[Smacks T. Paul again then leaves]
Nick Beam: [the attendant of the gas station T. Paul robbed is chasing them; He blows out the back window of the car] Oh great. Bufford's come to kill us.
T. Paul: Persistent hillbilly motherfucker.
Nick Beam: He has every right to be. You robbed him. At gun point. YOU DICK!
T. Paul: Hey hey, you're the one who threw the wallet out the fucking window.
T. Paul: Smart!
[Nick walks out of a convienence store with a shotgun]
T. Paul: Let me get this straight. It's all right for you to rob a place, but it ain't all right for me?
Nick Beam: I didn't rob him.
T. Paul: Well, you got a funny way of *not* robbin' a motherfucker.
Nick Beam: The point is that, even if you wanted to rob a place, there are smarter ways to do it!
T. Paul: Enlighten me.
Nick Beam: A mask. Wear a mask. You see, the police have this thing called "a lineup", and if anybody recognizes you, YOU GO TO JAIL! Or how's this for a novel idea? Case the place first. Find out if there's a security camera, or a hidden alarm. Then again, why even rob a convenience store? How much money could you possibly get? Two, three hundred dollars? You're set for two days, wow!
T. Paul: What do you know, lanky?
Nick Beam: I know you go for the big score. One robbery, you're set.
T. Paul: News flash, big slim: people with big money, they protect it!
Nick Beam: So you do a little research. Take Quality Design Group, where I work. My boss keeps a ton of cash in his vault. At night there's only two guards, and a personal security system. And in this case, I even happen to know the code! But even if I didn't, I...
[stops and stares]
T. Paul: What? I got a booger in my nose?
Nick Beam: [imitating Phillip] "Diversify! You can't trust banks, Nick. The whole economy could crumble at any second." That bastard's so heavily leveraged it would wipe him out.
T. Paul: What, am I hearing you right? Mr. High-and-Mighty's gonna rob his boss? You hear that, gila monsters? Old Nick Beam here's gonna rob his boss! I say, do you hear that, gila monsters? You know what, Nick? Your wife really messed your head up bad, man.
T. Paul: Hey, I was present at the time of creative inspiration, which entitles me to partial ownership in this criminalistic endeavor.
Nick Beam: How's it feel, Phillip? You had it all, but it just wasn't enough. You had to mess with me. Nobody messes with Nick Beam.
Gas Station Cashier: [as Nick enters the gas station, his shoes are smoking] You must be really fast.
Nick Beam: [Holding a gun in the cashiers face] Have you ever had a really bad day?
Gas Station Cashier: Having one right now.
Nick Beam: I'm sure you're a really scary guy. I'm sure that, normally, people just quiver at the very sound of your voice. But, you see, I, I cant see that right now. I... I... I just see a weak, desperate little man... that probably grew up torturing little animals. Some puny, little uncoordinated... cant-make-the-football-team- so-I'll-pick-on-third-graders-and-steal-their-lunch-money... punk, jerk-off bully... that one day wakes up and realizes he's nothing. Just a sad, pathetic, useless, illiterate piece of inbred shit.
Rig: [holding a shotgun under Nicks chin] Time to die.
Nick Beam: That just makes you my best friend.
T. Paul: Okay, when you meet my wife, she don't know nothin' about my sideline gig.
Nick Beam: You mean she doesn't know you're a thief?
T. Paul: Hey, I'm not a thief. Okay? I just dabble in future used goods.
Ann Beam: I want a divorce. It's a physical thing. I've been experimenting with other men lately. A lot of other men... and women. I don't know. I mean, Antonio can do this thing with his tongue, and Willam's stamina is amazing. And as far as hands go, your father's hands are... You are no match.
Nick Beam: [Whips out gun] Freeze suckerbitch!
Henry: That was much better.
Nick Beam: Thank you, Henry, see ya later.
T. Paul: What the hell is a suckerbitch?
Rig: Put down that gun, you idiot.
Nick Beam: Will you shut up? I'm shot here.
Rig: You shut the fuck up. Who the hell do you think you are?
Nick Beam: You shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Charlie: YOU shut the fuck up!
[They begin arguing]
T. Paul: Hey! Hey!
Charlie: Pu that fucking gun down before you take a fucking toe hit!
Nick Beam: Shut the fuck up.
[They begin arguing even further]
T. Paul: Hey! Hey! HEY! Everybody shut the fuck up! Every... Body shut the fuck up!
T. Paul: Especially you, shut the fuck up. You like girl scout cookies? Come here, come here, you want a cookie? Here's a cookie.
[Does a pivitol gesture towards him]
T. Paul: Now back the fuck up like I done told you two dumbass mother...
[Lunges forward and blows out the tires on Charlie and Rig's car]
T. Paul: Get in the car, Nick. Look at you now. Bye, cowboys! Ha ha ha.
Rig: Hey Charlie, smell this.
[Holds out a wad of bills]
Charlie: [sniffs] Oh yes, you too can be a millionaire.
Sheriff Officer #1: [Sees a wanted poster of Charlie and Rig] Highway shooters?
Sheriff: One black, one white. You tell me.
T Paul: [barges in the store and aims a gun at Henry] Freeze, motherfucker! You move your ass so much as a... A inch. I'll blow it off! You hear me, MOTHERFUCKER? YOU HEAR ME?
Nick Beam: You don't have to be so mean.
T Paul: Look man, now ain't the fucking time, alright? You say scary shit, it scares him.
Nick Beam: yeah plus you have a gun. What you're doing is the stereotypical robber thing. If you want to scare someone, you gotta do it calm and cool and collected, man.
T Paul: Man that's bullshit.