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The House of Yes (1997) Poster

Quotes

Lesly: You were spying on us?

Mrs. Pascal: A mother doesn't spy. A mother pays attention.

Marty: Are you being wise?

Jackie-O: One day I woke up wise.

Marty: One day I woke up stupid.

Jackie-O: What'd you do?

Marty: I went back to bed.

Jackie-O: That was wise.

Mrs. Pascal: Jackie and Marty belong to each other. Jackie's hand was holding Marty's penis when they came out the womb.

Lesly: I can't talk that way about your brother.

Jackie-O: Pretend he is not my brother, I do.

Jackie-O: Were you poor? Did you eat chicken pot pie?

Mrs. Pascal: Oh my God, I sounded just like a mother! Didn't I sound just like a mother?

Marty: You are a mother.

Mrs. Pascal: I know, but I still can't believe it. I look at you people and wonder, how did you ever fit in my womb?

Lesly: This is how you raised them?

Mrs. Pascal: People raise cattle. Children just happen.

Lesly: [about Marty's ex-girlfriend] Is she still here, in Washington?

Jackie-O: Very much so. I wonder...

Lesly: What?

Jackie-O: No, it's none of my business.

Lesly: What?

Jackie-O: Well, if he plans to get together with her while he's home.

Lesly: Why didn't he marry her?

Jackie-O: He couldn't.

Lesly: Why not?

Jackie-O: It was a family thing.

Lesly: Families objected?

Jackie-O: Something like that.

Lesly: He never told me.

Jackie-O: Men and their secrets.

Lesly: Not all men have secrets.

Jackie-O: We all have our secrets.

Lesly: So what if I slept with his brother? He slept with his sister!

Anthony: Would you like a glass of Liebfraumilch?

Lesly: No thank you. I'll just have a glass of wine.

Marty: That's the name of the wine.

Lesly: Oh!

[laughs]

Lesly: I don't speak french.

Jackie-O: Who does?

Anthony: You do.

Jackie-O: Oh, that's right, I do.

[smiles]

Lesly: So what does that name mean?

Jackie-O: In french?

Lesly: [nods]

Jackie-O: I think it means something German.

Marty: It means, "loving mother's milk."

Lesly: You speak french?

Marty: No. German.

Anthony: [to Jackie] I hear you crying at night alone in your room.

Anthony: [to Marty] I hear her crying at night alone in her room.

Marty: [to Jackie] You cry at night alone in your room?

Anthony: Hey, don't make fun of her! I won't let you make fun of her.

Marty: I wasn't going to make fun of her. I was going to ask her what she cries about.

Jackie-O: [turns away] What do you think? You want somebody for a very long time. And then you have them. And they love you. And they make love to you. But it's not enough. This is the truth about sex.

Anthony: Is that why Peter was lousy in bed?

Jackie-O: I'm not talking about Peter, Anthony.

Jackie-O: [turns towards them, crying] Jesus, I'm talking about Marty.

Jackie-O: Marty and I tell each other everything.

Lesly: Everything?

Jackie-O: We're twins.

Lesly: Did he tell you about his other girlfriends?

Jackie-O: Did he tell *you* about his other girlfriends?

Lesly: There was one, he said.

Jackie-O: [eyes open wide] Did he tell you about her?

Lesly: No, what was she like?

Jackie-O: Who?

Lesly: The girl.

Jackie-O: She wasn't a girl. She was a woman.

Lesly: She was *older* than Marty.

Jackie-O: No, they were almost exactly the same age. Talk about glamorous. She was glamorous.

Lesly: I thought so.

Jackie-O: Goo is what tape is all about. Goo is what makes it tape instead of *paper*.

Jackie-O: I went through all this trouble to get sane, so you can't just leave.

Mrs. Pascal: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go baste the turkey and hide the kitchen knives.

Jackie-O: Pennsylvania's just this state that's in your way when you're trying to get someplace else.

Jackie-O: Love is for tiny people with tiny lives.

Jackie-O: What about what *we* have?

Marty: *Had*

Jackie-O: I don't recognize the past tense.

Jackie-O: Sorry about that, by the way, I didn't mean to maim you. I only meant to kill you.

Marty: These things happen.

Mrs. Pascal: I really have no idea who my children belong to.

Mrs. Pascal: What's that gun doing there?

Jackie-O: It's not a gun. It's a camera.

Mrs. Pascal: It's a gun.

Jackie-O: It's a camera that looks like a gun.

Marty: Relax, Mama, it isn't loaded.

Mrs. Pascal: How do you know?

Marty: I checked.

Mrs. Pascal: What's it doing there?

Jackie-O: Being gunlike, gunesque, gunonic.

Mrs. Pascal: Where did it come from?

Jackie-O: God?

Lesly: I don't think you're insane.

Jackie-O: You don't?

Lesly: No.

Jackie-O: You don't think I'm an eensie weensie bit insane?

Lesly: I don't think you're insane. I think you're just spoiled.

Jackie-O: [exasperated] Oh please, if everyone around here is going to start telling the truth, I'm going to bed.

Jackie-O: I suppose you think I'm going insane just to be fashionable.

Lesly: Boy, it's been a long day.

Jackie-O: Not as long as yesterday. Yesterday was 24 whole hours.

Mrs. Pascal: Men do not marry girls who smell like powdered sugar. They have a sordid affair with them which they recall fondly in their twilight years.

Jackie-O: I watch soap operas. I bake brownies. Normalcy is coursing through my veins.

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Jackie-O: You be him, and I'll be her.

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Jackie-O: We all have our secrets.

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Marty: Leslie, this is Jackie-O.

Lesly: Hi!

Marty: My Mother. Anthony. Meet Leslie. Leslie and I are engaged!

Jackie-O: [screams hysterically, then laughs hysterically]

Jackie-O: [still laughing] I have to find my hairbrush.

Lesly: Oh, I have a comb.

Jackie-O: [squints angrily, then runs away]

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Jackie-O: It's okay, Anthony. I understand.

Anthony: Understand what?

Jackie-O: Just because Marty's attracted to girls doesn't mean you have to be.

Anthony: I'm attracted to girls!

Jackie-O: Really? Are you sure?

Anthony: Yes!

Jackie-O: Hmm...

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Jackie-O: Sorry, no pancakes today, I'm afraid!

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Jackie-O: Well, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. There's this thing I've heard, and if I thought for one second it was true I'd probably kill myself. Does your fiancee work - in a doughnut shop?

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Jackie-O: No, Peter and I have nothing in common. You and I, Marty, have a lot in common; parents, dna, bone structure.

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Anthony: I always carry crazy glue.

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Jackie-O: They've switched me - I used to be green, now I'm brown. I wanted my pills to match my eyes. Color me beautiful!

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Anthony: Nobody *buys* matches. People *find* matches.

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Mrs. Pascal: There is no television and no food. What else is there to stay up for?

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Anthony: What did it look like?

Jackie-O: It looked like a hairbrush, like a brush you brush your hair with.

Mrs. Pascal: Was it pink?

Jackie-O: Yes, it was pink, goddamn it! It was pink! It was pink and now is gone!

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Jackie-O: Guess where I am? I'm in a box and I can't get out.

Marty: No. I'm in a box and I can't get out.

Jackie-O: Well, I'm sorry that wasn't a very good mime, Marty, I didn't see that at all.

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Mrs. Pascal: Did you give your sister her medication?

Anthony: Uh-huh

[eyes Jackie-O]

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Lesly: Does this happen a lot?

Jackie-O: Every goddamned hurricane!

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Mrs. Pascal: Don't forget your toothbrush!

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Jackie-O: I see Anthony wears a lot of layers around me, don't 'cha Anthony? He's got a tee shirt, a dress shirt, a vest, and a jacket.

Anthony: I'm wearing a jacket because it's Thanksgiving

Jackie-O: You weren't wearing it before.

Anthony: I put it on after Marty got here.

Marty: I appreciate it. It looks nice.

Anthony: I think it belonged to a Kennedy.

Marty: Why? Is there a bullet hole?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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