The House of Yes (1997)
Mrs. Pascal: What's that gun doing there?
Jackie-O: It's not a gun. It's a camera.
Mrs. Pascal: It's a gun.
Jackie-O: It's a camera that looks like a gun.
Marty: Relax, Mama, it isn't loaded.
Mrs. Pascal: How do you know?
Marty: I checked.
Mrs. Pascal: What's it doing there?
Jackie-O: Being gunlike, gunesque, gunonic.
Mrs. Pascal: Where did it come from?
Marty: Are you being wise?
Jackie-O: One day I woke up wise.
Marty: One day I woke up stupid.
Jackie-O: What'd you do?
Marty: I went back to bed.
Jackie-O: That was wise.
Lesly: I don't think you're insane.
Jackie-O: You don't?
Jackie-O: You don't think I'm an eensie weensie bit insane?
Lesly: I don't think you're insane. I think you're just spoiled.
Jackie-O: [exasperated] Oh please, if everyone around here is going to start telling the truth, I'm going to bed.
Mrs. Pascal: Jackie and Marty belong to each other. Jackie's hand was holding Marty's penis when they came out the womb.
Lesly: [about Marty's ex-girlfriend] Is she still here, in Washington?
Jackie-O: Very much so. I wonder...
Jackie-O: No, it's none of my business.
Jackie-O: Well, if he plans to get together with her while he's home.
Lesly: Why didn't he marry her?
Jackie-O: He couldn't.
Lesly: Why not?
Jackie-O: It was a family thing.
Lesly: Families objected?
Jackie-O: Something like that.
Lesly: He never told me.
Jackie-O: Men and their secrets.
Lesly: Not all men have secrets.
Jackie-O: We all have our secrets.
Anthony: Would you like a glass of Liebfraumilch?
Lesly: No thank you. I'll just have a glass of wine.
Marty: That's the name of the wine.
Lesly: I don't speak french.
Jackie-O: Who does?
Anthony: You do.
Jackie-O: Oh, that's right, I do.
Lesly: So what does that name mean?
Jackie-O: In french?
Jackie-O: I think it means something German.
Marty: It means, "loving mother's milk."
Lesly: You speak french?
Marty: No. German.
Jackie-O: Marty and I tell each other everything.
Jackie-O: We're twins.
Lesly: Did he tell you about his other girlfriends?
Jackie-O: Did he tell *you* about his other girlfriends?
Lesly: There was one, he said.
Jackie-O: [eyes open wide] Did he tell you about her?
Lesly: No, what was she like?
Lesly: The girl.
Jackie-O: She wasn't a girl. She was a woman.
Lesly: She was *older* than Marty.
Jackie-O: No, they were almost exactly the same age. Talk about glamorous. She was glamorous.
Lesly: I thought so.
Jackie-O: Goo is what tape is all about. Goo is what makes it tape instead of *paper*.
Jackie-O: I went through all this trouble to get sane, so you can't just leave.
Jackie-O: Pennsylvania's just this state that's in your way when you're trying to get someplace else.
Jackie-O: Sorry about that, by the way, I didn't mean to maim you. I only meant to kill you.
Marty: These things happen.
Mrs. Pascal: Men do not marry girls who smell like powdered sugar. They have a sordid affair with them which they recall fondly in their twilight years.
Jackie-O: I watch soap operas. I bake brownies. Normalcy is coursing through my veins.
Mrs. Pascal: Oh my God, I sounded just like a mother! Didn't I sound just like a mother?
Marty: You are a mother.
Mrs. Pascal: I know, but I still can't believe it. I look at you people and wonder, how did you ever fit in my womb?
Lesly: So what if I slept with his brother? He slept with his sister!
Marty: Leslie, this is Jackie-O.
Marty: My Mother. Anthony. Meet Leslie. Leslie and I are engaged!
Jackie-O: [screams hysterically, then laughs hysterically]
Jackie-O: [still laughing] I have to find my hairbrush.
Lesly: Oh, I have a comb.
Jackie-O: [squints angrily, then runs away]
Anthony: [to Jackie] I hear you crying at night alone in your room.
Anthony: [to Marty] I hear her crying at night alone in her room.
Marty: [to Jackie] You cry at night alone in your room?
Anthony: Hey, don't make fun of her! I won't let you make fun of her.
Marty: I wasn't going to make fun of her. I was going to ask her what she cries about.
Jackie-O: [turns away] What do you think? You want somebody for a very long time. And then you have them. And they love you. And they make love to you. But it's not enough. This is the truth about sex.
Anthony: Is that why Peter was lousy in bed?
Jackie-O: I'm not talking about Peter, Anthony.
Jackie-O: [turns towards them, crying] Jesus, I'm talking about Marty.
Mrs. Pascal: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go baste the turkey and hide the kitchen knives.
Mrs. Pascal: I really have no idea who my children belong to.
Jackie-O: No, Peter and I have nothing in common. You and I, Marty, have a lot in common; parents, dna, bone structure.
Jackie-O: They've switched me - I used to be green, now I'm brown. I wanted my pills to match my eyes. Color me beautiful!
Anthony: What did it look like?
Jackie-O: It looked like a hairbrush, like a brush you brush your hair with.
Mrs. Pascal: Was it pink?
Jackie-O: Yes, it was pink, goddamn it! It was pink! It was pink and now is gone!
Jackie-O: I suppose you think I'm going insane just to be fashionable.
Jackie-O: I see Anthony wears a lot of layers around me, don't 'cha Anthony? He's got a tee shirt, a dress shirt, a vest, and a jacket.
Anthony: I'm wearing a jacket because it's Thanksgiving
Jackie-O: You weren't wearing it before.
Anthony: I put it on after Marty got here.
Marty: I appreciate it. It looks nice.
Anthony: I think it belonged to a Kennedy.
Marty: Why? Is there a bullet hole?
Jackie-O: It's okay, Anthony. I understand.
Anthony: Understand what?
Jackie-O: Just because Marty's attracted to girls doesn't mean you have to be.
Anthony: I'm attracted to girls!
Jackie-O: Really? Are you sure?
Jackie-O: Well, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. There's this thing I've heard, and if I thought for one second it was true I'd probably kill myself. Does your fiancee work - in a doughnut shop?
Mrs. Pascal: There is no television and no food. What else is there to stay up for?
Jackie-O: Guess where I am? I'm in a box and I can't get out.
Marty: No. I'm in a box and I can't get out.
Jackie-O: Well, I'm sorry that wasn't a very good mime, Marty, I didn't see that at all.