Home Alone 3 (1997)
[Alice has just split her pants open at the rear while on a secret spy mission]
Alice: I need assistance. I'm... exposed.
Police Officer #1: Freeze!
Earl Unger: [in the pool frozen] You gotta be kidding me.
Burton Jernigan: [Jernigan has been hit in the groin by Alice with a crowbar when she tried to kill Alex's petmouse, Doris] You... smacked my winkie.
Alice: Well, if you changed your shorts once in a while, maybe you wouldn't have rats in your pants.
Burton Jernigan: Unger. What's your position?
Earl Unger: Heading down Washington Street.
Burton Jernigan: I didn't copy. Where?
Earl Unger: I said, I'm heading to Wuh-ah-ah-ah...
[Jernigan runs over Unger while driving]
Earl Unger: Stop, you nitwit!
[the car stops and Unger screams, then collapses into the snow]
Alex: Heads up!
[unleashes booby trap that releases dumbbells on two criminals]
Alex: [donging is heard] Ouch.
Peter Beaupre: We are going to Chicago.
Earl Unger: In the winter? I packed tropical.
Earl Unger: I can't tell you how much I appreciate you hitting me with a minivan.
Burton Jernigan: Never let your emotions get the best of you. You weren't paying attention. You should have been more vigilant.
Earl Unger: You should've taken driver's ed. I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old and I'll have Burton Jernigan to thank.
Alice: You got hit with a book?
Earl Unger: Books. Plural a trunk, full of books. Then a set of weights. We got hit twice, you dumb broad!
[Alex is hiding in the closet and Mr. Unger tries to unlock the door]
Earl Unger: I'm coming for you, shorty, to pay you back for all the misery you caused me.
Alice: Mr. Unger, what are you doing?
Earl Unger: He's in the closet. Scaring him a little, just before I grab him. And behind door number one!
[Mr. Unger opens the closet door and Alex just disappeared]
Earl Unger: Towels.
Burton Jernigan: Hmph.
Earl Unger: I saw this door close.
Earl Unger: Would I make it up? Why? What's the point? We working on commission here?
Peter Beaupre: [as he sneaks into the mailslot of Alex's house] You can run, but you can't hide, Junior!
[Beaupre screams while Alex sprays black paint to his eyes]
Alex: [calls out to the crooks] You're not gonna find me up there, you big, dumb, law-breaking knuckle-heads!
Alex: There's a senior citizen across the street who needs some soup and a doctor to look at her feet. There's two in our pool and one in our basement. The other one's gone.
Agent Stuckey: [shows Alex the picture of Beaupre] Is this him?
Agent Stuckey: For seven years, we've been after this guy. He always manages to slip away. Thanks.
[while Beaupre, Unger, Jernigan and Alice are sitting at the dinner table, they discuss their plans to steal Alex's toy car]
Earl Unger: Tomorrow, whack every kid in the neighborhood. Burn them all!
[the four "spies" all stare at him]
Earl Unger: Then look for that stupid toy car.
Peter Beaupre: My thoughts keep turning to number 3026. It's within the operating radius of the toy car. It's in sight of all the houses I've been in.
[Mr. Unger and Mr. Jernigan meet Beaupre, who just found Alex's toy car, at the Alcott's house]
Burton Jernigan: It's a video camera. Someone's onto us.
Earl Unger: Do you think this really matters? Chip's in the car. We're at the airport in 45 minutes.
Peter Beaupre: Where's Alice?
Alice: [as she pushes a baby stroller to the Alcott's shed] What happened?
Peter Beaupre: There's a woman in the house. I'll go back in and deal with her. Get the chip.
[Beaupre then hands Alice the car]
Stan: Hey, Alex, could you pass me the false alarms? I mean, the peas.
Peter Beaupre: There are 14 houses. The toy car must be in one of them. We're going have to search them all. We'll come back when it's light.
Earl Unger: We're gonna work houses in broad daylight?
Peter Beaupre: It's the suberbs, Mr. Unger. Nobody's home during the day.
Karen Pruitt: You get in that bed, young man.
Alex: Excuse me, but I saw a man in Karen Stephen's bedroom, a little older than Dad, and he was wearing butt inspection gloves.
Karen Pruitt: I have warned you about that telescope. You look through it long enough, you're gonna start seeing things, whether or not they're there.
Alex: Well, I guess you have to be 35 before anyone around here listens to you.
Karen Pruitt: Don't get smart with me, Alex. Sick or not, I am very angry with you. You caused a lot of trouble today. Dad and I have to replace a door at the Stephens'. Do you think we're happy about that?
Alex: I saw what I saw!
[as Alice locks them in Mrs. Hess's garage, intending to keep her from interfering]
Mrs. Hess: What are you doing?
Alice: I left my heart in San Francisco.
Molly: [pushing the office door closed to stop Agent Stucky] The 'it' you're referring to, is my little brother!
Alice: Good Afternoon, my husband and I just moved into the neighborhood.
Peter Beaupre: [about Alex, in a sinister tone] What a brave little fellow!