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Hard Men (1996)

 -  Crime  -  28 February 1997 (UK)
5.7
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Ratings: 5.7/10 from 450 users  
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A Cockney thug becomes a daddy just before he and his two colleagues are supposed to put the screws to some unfortunate deadbeat. The new dad decides that he has had enough killing and ... See full summary »

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Cast

Credited cast:
Layla Aldridge ...
Girl at Bar
Victoria Bensted ...
Night Club Hostess 1
Ross Boatman ...
Bear
Keith Brown ...
John
Rocky Byron ...
Pimp 1
Dallas Campbell ...
Maltese's Boyfriend
Ken Campbell ...
Mr. Ross
Biba Caprez ...
Tone's Child (2 years)
Emma Caprez ...
Tone's Wife
Mark Channon ...
Hardstore Shop Assistant
Min Clifford ...
Waitress
Stuart Jason Cole ...
Winston
Eamonn Collinge ...
The Maltese
...
Chantal
Alec Ewe ...
Chrystal - Transvestite Hostess 1
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Storyline

A Cockney thug becomes a daddy just before he and his two colleagues are supposed to put the screws to some unfortunate deadbeat. The new dad decides that he has had enough killing and wants to start anew. Unfortunately, his partners have other plans, as does his boss who is angry that the thug killed one of his best customers. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

You Call. They Deliver. It Ain't Pizzas.

Genres:

Crime

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for strong violence, pervasive strong language, drug use and some sexuality | See all certifications »
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Release Date:

28 February 1997 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Skliroi antres  »

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User Reviews

Tiresomely unoriginal and uninspired with swearing and violence not managing to cover the total lack of wit, tension and character
10 April 2004 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

Tone, Bear and John are three hard men in the employee of London underworld boss Pops Den. They are collectors of money, threateners of people and removers of competition. However, with the birth of his first child, Tone decides that he has had enough and that he needs to turn his life around, starting with getting out of the life. When Bear tells Pops this, he orders them to kill Tone and bring him his severed hand by nine o'clock the next morning.

It is to be expected that, when one genre suddenly spawns a bit film, that many others will jump on the bandwagon - some being good and some being rubbish. We saw it with Scream when it relaunched the teen horror genre and spawned a tonne of copies. So it was no surprise to anyone (even if it was still depressing) that the success of a few British cockney gangster films with dark comedy spawned a raft of copies - most of which were average at best and ended up flopping.

Hard Men is one of these films and it deserved every penny it failed to get at the box office. The plot is almost none existent and centres on one night in the lives of these three. It would better if the events in the lives of the characters had mattered or been engaging but, because they aren't, then the plot just falls to pieces (not that it was ever really together). Instead it seems to revel in the grim of it's characters - but doesn't have the decency to make them people. One scene sees a prostitute talk about her years of abuse, but even that is just a scene to add shock value rather than depth. The film even has the nerve to look back fondly to the days of `civilised' gangsters (giving a cameo to Frankie Fraser for that reason) as if all the violence on display here is in some way admirable or a curiosity.

The cast are roundly bad but it is not really their fault - they simply have no material to work with. The cameo for a violent criminal is just pure bad taste and adds nothing to the film. As director and writer Amalou seems to have just fluked his way into the job on the basis of seeing better films and ripping them off. Certainly he brings no wit or style to his script even if his direction is actually quite good considering the budget he had to work with.

Overall this is a very poor film that will only appeal to fans of the genre

  • all others need to avoid it. I was surprised by just how rough I found


the whole thing was - it lacked originality, revelled in uninvolving and seemed under the impression that the word `f*ck' is the height of clever writing.


6 of 11 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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