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Hard Men (1996)

 -  Crime  -  28 February 1997 (UK)
5.7
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Ratings: 5.7/10 from 449 users  
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A Cockney thug becomes a daddy just before he and his two colleagues are supposed to put the screws to some unfortunate deadbeat. The new dad decides that he has had enough killing and ... See full summary »

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Cast

Credited cast:
Layla Aldridge ...
Girl at Bar
Victoria Bensted ...
Night Club Hostess 1
Ross Boatman ...
Bear
Keith Brown ...
John
Rocky Byron ...
Pimp 1
Dallas Campbell ...
Maltese's Boyfriend
Ken Campbell ...
Mr. Ross
Biba Caprez ...
Tone's Child (2 years)
Emma Caprez ...
Tone's Wife
Mark Channon ...
Hardstore Shop Assistant
Min Clifford ...
Waitress
Stuart Jason Cole ...
Winston
Eamonn Collinge ...
The Maltese
...
Chantal
Alec Ewe ...
Chrystal - Transvestite Hostess 1
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Storyline

A Cockney thug becomes a daddy just before he and his two colleagues are supposed to put the screws to some unfortunate deadbeat. The new dad decides that he has had enough killing and wants to start anew. Unfortunately, his partners have other plans, as does his boss who is angry that the thug killed one of his best customers. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

You Call. They Deliver. It Ain't Pizzas.

Genres:

Crime

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for strong violence, pervasive strong language, drug use and some sexuality | See all certifications »
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Details

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Release Date:

28 February 1997 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Skliroi antres  »

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User Reviews

Hard times
25 October 2002 | by (Lake District, England) – See all my reviews

Back in the Fifties, many a movie seemed to require one or other of its characters to say: 'hey, let's put on a show!'. In what may have passed for the gestation of this film, someone, perhaps the writer / director, said: 'Hey, let's make a movie!' The result now is much the same as the result way back then, except that in those Fifties disasters the people on each side of the camera had a reasonable idea of what they were doing. No such luck here: if I'd had to sit through this as a graduation piece from young film makers, the most charitable verdict would've been that 'Hard Men' is to movie making what Jeffrey Archer is to English Literature. In other words, no connection.

The movie doesn't so much take to the screen as set up house in a cliche -- guns, shouting, more guns, more shouting, bad language, guns, bad language, guns. As reportage it's dismal. As fiction it's unsustainable. The acting is of a standard to make one wish to hand out Oscars to those responsible for 'Night of the Lepus' ('Attack of The Killer Rabbits') and the direction as consistent as a weathervane in a hurricane.

But that ol' Fifties magic lingers on, for a third of the way through the director finally loses the plot altogether and it's time for 'hey, let's put on a show!' -- whereupon one or other of the mass murderers turns to the camera and sings about his newborn baby.

Come back, Ed Wood. All is forgiven.

Rating: unrateable.


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