A boat has been destroyed, criminals are dead, and the key to this mystery lies with the only survivor and his twisted, convoluted story beginning with five career crooks in a seemingly random police lineup.
I'm usually very forgiving of movies (I'm a loyal defender of Speed 2 and The Postman), but I simply can't condone this awful, boring, and unpleasant movie. Every murder that happens is to utterly predictable that you just sit there in your seat begging for something interesting or original to happen, but it never does. Don Johnson's character is the only interesting one in the entire movie, but he's not in it for long, and things just go downhill from there. Not that I have anything against this kind of movie- one of my favorite movies last year was Wild Things, but that movie was smart, funny and interesting, and had fun characters. This loser of a movie has none of those things; the jokes are totally unfunny, and the plot developments are not the least bit interesting. Patricia Arquette is not the least bit convincing (or all that attractive, really) as a femme fatale wannabe, and Ellen DeGeneres, a great actress who could have made this character smart and funny, instead makes a character who is boring, annoying, and rather depressing to watch. Take, for example, the way she makes fun of her Mormon partner- there is no cleverness in her jokes, only rudeness, and so they all fall flat. The main reason that I was interested in this movie was because I kept hearing about all the great plot twists. Beware: there aren't really all that many, and none of them are the least bit believable. If you want a good neo-noir with fun plot twists, go rent Wild Things or The Usual Suspects, but leave this loser alone- it's not worth the film it's printed on.
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