Life Is Beautiful (1997)
Bartolomeo: They are looking for someone who speaks German, to translate their instructions.
Guido: Me! I'll do it, I'll translate!
Bartolomeo: Do you speak German?
Guido: What are your political views?
Other Man: [speaking to his two sons] Benito, Adolf! Sit down! Sorry Guido, what did you say?
Guido: [pretending to translate] The game starts now. You have to score one thousand points. If you do that, you take home a tank with a big gun. Each day we will announce the scores from that loudspeaker. The one who has the fewest points will have to wear a sign that says "Jackass" on his back. There are three ways to lose points. One, turning into a big crybaby. Two, telling us you want to see your mommy. Three, saying you're hungry and want something to eat.
Guido: If you speak my name, I vanish. What am I? Silence.
Guido: What kind of place is this? It's beautiful: Pigeons fly, women fall from the sky! I'm moving here!
Guido: I forgot to tell you.
Dora: Go ahead.
Guido: You can't imagine how much I feel like making love to you. But I'll never tell anyone, especially not you. They'd have to torture me to make me say it.
Dora: Say what?
Guido: That I want to make love to you - not just once, but over and over again! But I'll never tell you that. I'd have to be crazy to tell you. I'd even make love to you now... right here for the rest of my life.
Eliseo Orefice: You're serving. You're not a servant. Serving is a supreme art. God is the first servant. God serves men but he's not a servant to men.
Giosué Orefice: "No Jews or Dogs Allowed." Why do all the shops say, "No Jews Allowed"?
Guido: Oh, that. "Not Allowed" signs are the latest trend! The other day, I was in a shop with my friend the kangaroo, but their sign said, "No Kangaroos Allowed," and I said to my friend, "Well, what can I do? They don't allow kangaroos."
Giosué Orefice: Why doesn't our shop have a "Not Allowed" sign?
Guido: Well, tomorrow, we'll put one up. We won't let in anything we don't like. What don't you like?
Giosué Orefice: Spiders.
Guido: Good. I don't like Visigoths. Tomorrow, we'll get sign: "No Spiders or Visigoths Allowed."
Giosué Orefice: [narrating as an adult] This is my story. This is the sacrifice my father made. This was his gift to me.
Giosué Orefice: I didn't like the train.
Guido: [to his son] Me, neither. We'll take the bus back, okay?
Guido: [to the Nazis] Did you hear that? We're taking the bus back!
Giosué Orefice: [watching his father's uncle being sent to another barracks, which is the last time he will see him] Where is Uncle going?
Guido: Uh... oh, he's playing on a different team. Goodbye, Uncle!
Giosué Orefice: Goodbye, Uncle.
Guido: [carrying his son through the camp] You are such a good boy. You sleep now. Dream sweet dreams. Maybe we are both dreaming. Maybe this is all a dream, and in the morning, Mommy will wake us up with milk and cookies. Then, after we eat, I will make love to her two or three times. If I can.
Giosué Orefice: [narrating as an adult] This is a simple story... but not an easy one to tell.
Giosué Orefice: We won!
Dora: Yes, we won! It's true.
Giosué Orefice: We got a thousand points and we won the game! Daddy and me came in first and now we won the real tank! We won! We won!
Dora: My husband and son are on that train. I want to get on that train. Did you hear me? I want to get on that train.
Eliseo Orefice: Nothing is more necessary than the unnecessary.
Giosué Orefice: Daddy, I cannot find any of the other kids, and a lady came telling me to take a shower.
Guido: That's a good idea. You go take a shower.
Giosué Orefice: No!
Guido: Go take a shower!
Giosué Orefice: No!
Giosué Orefice: Buttons and soap.
Giosué Orefice: They turn us into buttons and soap.
Guido: Who told you that?
Giosué Orefice: An old man was crying. He said they turn us into buttons and soap. They burn us all up in ovens.
Guido: How ridiculous. They were just teasing you! There are wood ovens, but there are no people ovens. Putting people in ovens creates too much smoke.
Giosué Orefice: I don't believe you.
[after arriving in the deserted concentration camp in a tank, trying to speak to an Italian boy in English]
U.S. Tank Soldier: You have no idea what I'm saying, do you?
Guido: You can lose all your points for any one of three things. One: If you cry. Two: If you ask to see your mother. Three: If you're hungry and ask for a snack! Forget it!
Guido: The prize is... the prize is...
Eliseo Orefice: A tank.
Guido: Yes! Yes, the prize is a tank.
Giosué Orefice: I already have one.
Guido: No, a real one.
Giosué Orefice: A real tank?
Guido: Dr. Lessing!
Dr. Lessing: Hello!
[notices the flowers]
Dr. Lessing: What are the flowers for?
Guido: [thinks fast] Ah... for your departure!
[hands him the flowers]
Dr. Lessing: Thank you!
Guido: [being shipped to a concentration camp] You've never ridden on a train, have you? They're fantastic! Everybody stands up, close together, and there are no seats!
Giosué Orefice: There aren't any seats?
Guido: Seats? On a train? It's obvious you've never ridden one before! No, everybody's packed in, standing up. Look at this line to get on! Hey, we've got tickets, save room for us!
Dora: At least they don't make the children and old people work.
Female Prisoner: They don't make them work because they kill them! One day, you will hear a lady calling, "Kids, come take a shower," then they gas them!
Dr. Lessing: Fat, fat, ugly, ugly, all yellow in truth, if you ask me where I am I answer "here, here, here". Walking I make poo poo, who am I?