When a documentary crew traveling through the Amazon jungle, picks up a stranded man, they are unaware of the trouble that will occur. This stranger's hobby is to capture the giant Anaconda snake, and plans to continue targeting it on their boat, by any means necessary. Written by
Dio Che Nell'alma Infondere
From the opera 'Don Carlo'
Written by Giuseppe Verdi
Performed by Michael Sylvester & Vladimir Chernov with the Metropolitan Opera Orchestra
Courtesy of Sonny Classical See more »
As inept a piece of film-making as I have ever seen
I wouldn't have wasted my time commenting on this one if it weren't for the people (not just the ones on this site) willing to speak out in its defence. Well, sort of. Instead of a DEFENCE, exactly, you're more likely to hear remarks like, `Of course it's bad - that's why I like it!' (okaaay ...); and, `It's bad, but if you'd had a different upbringing, you would have liked it' ... which can be truly said of every bad film ever made, so it's not saying much.
I'll just concentrate on the long concluding sequence, with snake after snake ... or was it just one snake? This is a film with deathless, invulnerable, heroes and villains, so I'm not entirely convinced that anyone or anything in it was ever killed. But anyway: talk about one-note! The film's `conclusion' was the dramatic equivalent of some guy on a bagpipe droning out a low G for twenty minutes and calling it a tune. Constant screaming, constant movement, constant boredom. Even I, I who loathe computer graphics, especially when they're as bad as this (although there were some animatronic snake effects as well, and these were passable), could not have cared less about the special effects - I was too busy marvelling at the lack of creativity, how the director never once so much as lifted a finger to make his footage suspenseful or moving or fun to watch. Has anyone experienced sleep paralysis? That's what the conclusion of `Anaconda' felt like. I could probably have turned it off during the dull first half, but then sleep paralysis set in and my muscles refused to obey my desires.
That'll teach me to watch something just because it's bad.
Fans of Jennifer Lopez might like looking at her. I didn't. Don't take this the wrong way - I'm sure she's supremely gorgeous in real life, but on screen, or at least on THIS screen, she comes across as the product of the same Hollywood cloning factory that produced - you know - what's her name.
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