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|Index||67 reviews in total|
62 out of 65 people found the following review useful:
High Noon at Mega Suck-fest, 18 January 2006
Author: Red-Barracuda from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK
First off, this is a kids movie so certain allowances should be made
for its rubbishness. But I expect that the majority of 7 year olds
would find High Noon an unrewarding and painful experience.
The film concerns a group of extremely unscary baddies who decide that world domination can be best achieved by hijacking an amusement park. Two things prevent the villains from carrying out their evil plan. Firstly, the bad guys find themselves easily defeated at every turn by three children and Hulk Hogan. Secondly, those aforementioned bad guys are morons.
The three children are, of course, the 3 Ninjas. They defeat fully grown men in martial art combat at every turn. Particularly remarkable, since one of the kids appears to be about four years old. Of especial note is the second youngest as he sports a haircut that is so abysmally misguided it makes Billy Ray Cyrus's mullet look tasteful. It is a bowl-cut/pony-tail combo; two haircuts from hell all on one head - it is truly horrendous and should really not be seen by younger viewers.
An interesting aspect of the movie is that despite the fact that the fairground has been hijacked, no one seems to have informed the extras. They carry on enjoying the rides as if nothing has happened. As I said earlier, the bad guys are essentially idiots, so its just possible that they have not got their heads round the technicalities of hijacking. But, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter as the film is not exactly convincing in a general sense.
Do I recommend it? Not really but it is an ideal birthday present for a child you dislike.
32 out of 38 people found the following review useful:
CRRRRRRRRRAP!!!!!!!!, 1 July 2000
Author: stu-22 from tracy, california
1992's "3 Ninjas" was a really cool movie, back in 2nd grade! I felt that it
would of been best to leave it alone. But, like all money hungry executives
do, they have to go and make 3 lame sequels that overexpose what made the
first one successful: fighting. And I don't know what the hell the filmakers
were doing while shooting these movies and casting the stars? I guess they
filmed the third one right after the first and intended for that to be the
second one, since the kids in it are the same as the kids in the first!
(still with me?)
But overall, this is the worst of the four. Was it supposed to be a prequel or something, 'cause all three kids look about 5 years younger than in the previous movies. And even if it was a prequel, the filmakers obviously didn't realize the kids don't get their names until later. Please don't rent this movie to enjoy it with your kids or yourself. Rent it to make fun of it with a friend or sibling, but beware, it might bore you or cheese you to death before you finish it!!
Note: A black belt doesn't screech out a high-pitched "HI-YA" when doing something like throwing an egg at a bad guy or cutting a rope that releases an anvil or something of that sort that black-belts don't do.
33 out of 46 people found the following review useful:
possibly the worst movie i've ever seen, 6 November 2004
Author: ztem89 from ny
the only reason i rented this garbage excuse for a movie is because i
am a big fan of the original 3 ninjas movie. when the original came out
i was a little kid and it was great. after seeing 3 ninjas kick back
and 3 ninjas knuckle up i wasn't expecting 3 ninjas high noon to be
that good, since the 2 preceding ones weren't' that great. so finally, 8
years after the release i rent 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega
Mountain....where shall i begin.
-3 new actors playing the boys, if u can even consider them actors -rocky is "too cool" to be a ninja -colt has a lisp and a pony tail -tum-tum looks like he retrograded back in time and is now 5
-when tum-tum screams hi-ya it sounds like a little girl
-hulk holgan is in this movie -terriorts take over AN AMUSMANT PARK! -worst acting i've ever seen...ninjas, hulk holgan, terriorts included -dummest plot line
this movie killed the 3 ninjas for me. i don't' think i can ever watch the original again and enjoy it. every time i see rocky i will think of a stuck up asshole; colt, i will think of his "new look", and tum-tum i will think of a 5 year old cry baby.
19 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
Right to video..., 24 June 1999
Author: Joey Buddafuco
This was horrible. I remember that the original movie was mildly amusing, but this stinker left me disgusted. This is one movie where I was actually wanting the villains to win, because of the annyoing, constipated sounding screeching noises that "Tum-Tum" was making for karate yells and what not. I actually laughed when Loni Anderson said "Rest in pieces". The first two movies were cute, the third was...blech, but when a movie stars Hulk Hogan.... slow up on that, you've already lost all the money that you put into this flop; and then some.
22 out of 30 people found the following review useful:
This movie ROCKS my SOCKS!, 15 May 2005
Author: abortedfoetus from United Kingdom
In this tremendous film Hulk Hogan plays a really brilliant and
inspirational character called Dave Dragon and he runs around being
BADASS with his amazing theme tune and also he beats up loads of bad
guys with his little chums who all suck at acting. This film is
basically ninjas (rubbish ninjas) getting beaten up by little kids for
ages, while rubbish bad guys go about executing their rubbish plans.
Hulk Hogan doesn't really do much in it and his theme tune doesn't get
played anywhere near as much as it should.
All in all I would say watch this movie because it's got Hulk Hogan in it.
20 out of 27 people found the following review useful:
a bad acting roller-coaster, 12 April 2005
Author: (matthew-lamb) from United Kingdom
There two types of bad film.... a)a film so bad you turn it off immediately or b)bad films starring hulk hogan that you have to watch to amuse yourself. Hulk plays Dave Dragon, some old guy who is not very hard and not very funny - and basically the bottom line of the film is some female terrorist tries to take over a theme park. They fail, thanks to some geeky kids who apparently know martial arts. The most annoying thing though is how easily grown adults get beaten up by pesky little kids. This film is so bad, but, fair play, I watched most of it so it achieved something in that sense. Enjoyable if you like ripping it out of bad actors and rubbish plots.
10 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
One thing made this film great..., 4 October 2001
Author: Goat Boy (firstname.lastname@example.org) from Edinburgh, Scotland
...and that was the atrocious lesbian subtext between the little girl and Loni Anderson! Some of the lines from the lady in leather were so morally wrong they were superb! That said, the rest of the film was poor, with the three kids not even comprehending the basic rules of the ninja (as in STAYING UNSEEN AND SILENT!). The fight scenes were static and bland. If you want a good ninja film for the kids, rent Surf Ninjas. Also, even thinking about Colt's haircut still makes me cringe a week after I saw the film...
19 out of 28 people found the following review useful:
OH GOD PLEASE.....no...no...NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!, 25 January 2001
Author: youngblood_16 from Illinois
OH...UUHHGG...AAAARRRGGGHHHHH...*COUGH COUGH* EEEEWWWW worst movie ever, i fell asleep in the thearter, REALLY i did. It was that bad. You have got to be really corny to like this movie. Its one of those movies that make you hate every thing about your brother, They made me go because they couldnt go alone. After the movie ended, My little brothers wanted to become ninjas themselves.. coming out they were kicking. OH YUCK
10 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
this movie STINKS, 15 July 2005
Author: eragon565 from United States
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This movie is the most awful karate movie i have ever seen. The moves the kids did stunk, the plot was lame, and the ending was dumb. At the end, the bad guy offers a fight deal against the grandpa when he is his prisoner. If the bad guy had half a brain, he would have simply kept him as a prisoner. When the ninja kids do their moves, they do not look realistic and they do not actually hit the targets when they do the moves, but the bad guys get hit anyway. Also, to hold off the criminals in their home, the ninjas give two of them diarrhea?? How lame is that? DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!! IT STINKS!!! This movie is currently on my top 10 of worst movies of all time. Oh, by the way, the kids looked like they were 3 yrs younger than before and the middle aged boy's hairdo gave me nightmares. DO NOT WATCH THIS!!!!
18 out of 28 people found the following review useful:
more like "High Noon at this film is %&@£", 2 November 2004
Author: philbertz from Dudesville
I've just worked it out on my pocket calculator, this is the worst film
I have ever seen. Reminds me of a film produced a couple of years back,
"Kitchen Wars", if only for the fact that the bad guys(the late great
Jassi Chan)/girls in both films liked to wear leather skirts. The film
has only served to fuel my hatred for the 3 ninjas. I'd love to beat up
the 3 ninjas, I'm pretty sure I could take them in a fight. I've seen
the film three times now, studying their moves and I don't think
they're as good as Hulk Hogan says. On the plus side... It did star
Hulk Hogan and as Hulk always says "hi, I'm Hulk Hogan!" My favourite
part was when the little kid went POW! However, it's really good and I
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