Hank has the misfortune of being left all alone with Connie right when she gets her first period. He tries to handle the situation the best way he knows how, and unfortunately, he doesn't.
Hank is given the chance to win a million dollars after winning an Alamo Beer contest. All he must do is throw a football through a one-foot hole into a Giant Alamo beer can. Or he can let former Cowboy "Dandy" Don Meredith make the throw for $100,000; Bill visits his family in Louisiana.
As Y2K approaches, everybody fears the approaching millennium, even Dale, who hoards food, Mountain Dew and hamsters in his basement. Only Hank is unaffected by the growing concerns...until there's a propane shortage.
Luanne is sick of Hank's rules and regulations, so she rents the house next door with three other people. When she gets angry at them for being irresponsible, she gets upset because she's acting just like Hank would.
After Hank's usual barber loses his mind he dyes Hank's hair blonde, so Bill convinces Hank to let him cut his hair and re-dye his hair it's natural color. Not long after that Hank receives a letter from the government stating that the haircut will cost him $900.00.
Peggy is ashamed of her size 16 feet, but her shame turns to pride when an alleged doctor takes an interest in filming them. She does not know, however, that the man is really photographing them for a sex fetish website.
The Hills go to a country music festival in Nashville, where no one believes Peggy when she says that Randy Travis plagiarized a song she submitted to him.