Greg's law practice now goes so well he's exhausted. He wants a secretary but is too stressed for time to select one, so Dharma decides to do that for him, and subjects candidates to loony tests, even horoscopes. When the apparently ideally qualified and motivated candidate is too attractive for words, as even Jane remarks, Dharma imagines what will happen if she goes by her principles of non-discrimination, before making up her mind.
When mindless Dharma runs after a man to 'return' a wallet he obviously just stole, before the police and worried Greg catch up she has accidentally made a citizen arrest. For once her cupid-meddling with young cops Billa and Ellen makes both couples spend time as friends, with a major drawback: the police are Larry's very idea of incarnated evil authority, incompatible with planning Abby's birthday 'surprise' party, so they end up staging one each, in adjoining rooms.
Minding the Finkelstein house while they travel 'up' to Washington is bad enough for Greg with female furniture sex-suitability suggestions, worse is hearing that's D.C., for a Senate meeting on an environmentally challenged bill his parents also fly to -actually on the same plane. Worst is when the dogs dig up human bones, which Dharma knows to be Uncle Henry 'Pinto', illegally buried, and workmen are about to lay pipes just there.
Greg injures himself whilst having sex with Dharma and ends up at the doctor. Dharma, being her usual self, is overly open about the experience with everyone making Greg uncomfortable. Then at the pharmacy getting Greg's medication, they run into an ex-boyfriend of Dharma', Scott, who is ironically purchasing a large packet of condoms. Things become more uncomfortable for Greg as Scott rents a place in their building.
Dharma's shameless public decides to 'coach' supermarket staff Donald -a cute, coy teenage genius- and Anita who have decided to shed their virginity together. She offers them her home as a venue. Dharma stays at her parents, where Larry discovered a single scent, alas no longer in production, rekindles his memory shortly each time he sniffs it. Greg can't watch and listen to 'kama sutra school' any longer, so he goes to spend time at his parents, where he remembers a traumatic event from his youth. Dharma discovers Anita isn't looking for love, just sex, but Donald ...
Dharma worries that Greg over-plans their otherwise healthy sex-life because of such 'scientific patterns' as food-related sex-games after every shuttle launch, her attempts as Abby advises to break his routine fail. The 'ladies' all keep returning to an unsanitary, hazardous, measly Greek restaurant just because waiter Stavros is such a hot stud. Greg tells Ed and Pete he noticed something makes Dharma aloof and is made to believe she must be unfaithful. Now both spouses are needlessly frustrated while trying too hard.
The Finkelsteins hold their seven-yearly karmic cleansing, which means confessing one's faults to the victim, who forgives by blowing them into an imaginary bubble. Greg adopts this hippie lunacy at home, but when Kitty forgives Dharma 'since you didn't mean it' she dares not confess, and believes from then to be unlucky through spoiled karma. Meanwhile Larry proves most unforgiving as maid Celia's 'union rep', extorting better conditions from 'management negotiator' Edward, although neither knows her present pay.
Greg's ex, Stephanie, wants a letter of recommendation for her son, Jeremy, to get into the exclusive prep school where Greg went. When she brings the kid along Greg and Jeremy get on so well, being obviously alike. This leads Dharma into believing that Greg must be his biological father. Meanwhile a remark by Edward gets Kitty obsessed with Larry.
When Dharma pays the bills she discovers Greg's storage box where he put away all his belongings when he moved in with her. At first she scolds him for mistrusting their marriage, then realizes he gave up everything for her, feels guilty and puts his furniture etc inside instead of her own. Abby calls it a feng-shui nightmare and huge health hazard. Larry just likes it and Edward becomes quit jealous of not being allowed almost anything. Dharma also starts behaving peculiarly efficient, so in the end Pete gets the consolation prize.
Used to being re-elected as the Alternative Cooperation president, Abby expects the same after nominating Dharma as counter candidate, who to all the Finkelsteins' horror is instantly elected. Dharma believes that all her changes are turning into disasters (because of Abby's devious work). Greg is delighted to get a case for Canadian singer K.D. Lang, so he can tag along to her studio recording, where he volunteers his services for a questionable approach to her recording deals.
A drunk 'vision' after a wine tasting trio to Napa Valley makes Dharma decide to have a baby, so Greg is pressed to try hard and often. Pete is finally fired at Justice. Greg refuses to take his legally incompetent friend or even to write him an insincere letter of recommendation, yet is pressed into that by the girls -although Jane scolded Pete a loser herself- only to be bitterly told that got Pete's fake one found out... Abby announces happily to be a crone, then proves cranky, blamed on menopause, but turns out pregnant herself, to Larry's despair and denial, ...
Dharma is appalled when her mother Abby decides to raise her new baby normally, not the 'cool, liberating' loony hippie way she was raised. While defending the crazy attributes of her youth she finally faces facts, it was all emotional baggage to dump on a child. Abby is rushed to hospital, and Dharma feels guilty for resenting her ma as an 'unworthy expecting mother'. George Littlefox's spirit appears to her. Meanwhile Jane asks for help with her loveless marriage to Greg's mate Pete, and his advice to talk instead of just indulging in her SM abuse results in a ...
Greg joins a trip to Mexico with Dharma and her hippie friends, but things quickly get uncomfortable on the way. Larry gets a job at Montgomery Industries as a night security guard, but his first shift gets the better of him.
Dharma 'coaches' an alternative class softball team, completely oblivious of the competition. Greg's motivational speech and any other normal phrase are instantly scolded; even Pete would be a real athletic improvement. Edward is in a good mood, so the women wickedly presume he must have an affair. He asks Dharma not to tell Kitty he's seeing his 'lady friend'. Kitty was prepared to turn a blind eye, but Dharma gets her in a murderous mood; it turns out to be another kind of secret pleasure.
Fascinated by general Kirby's war memories praising his dad Edward, Greg decides to join the Army Reserve corps, which recruits top-graduates like him at the grade of Captain. Pacifist Dharma is dead against anything military, but for once her bossy dictatorial nonsense is ignored. The new officer flies to Virginia for a course in procurement, where he shows annoying enthusiasm in both the matter and meaningless military decorum. Meanwhile Edward's 'reassuring' remark landing in a war zone is highly unlikely suffices to make Dharma realize darling Greg's well-being ...
Edward soon regrets Kitty generously offered to donate the state-of-the-art van they won in a raffle to the Finkelsteins, as penniless-proud Larry keeps bugging him about a fair price. Abby is elated unlike Dharma, who expected the job, to have famous midwife-author Chloe assisting at her baby's birth, but they bicker as badly as the fathers, till an unlikely savior is hailed.
After Greg made the Finkelsteins realize that made-up hippie names may be cute for girls, but they get boys beaten up by peers, they bicker through a list of preferred relatives in order to take regular names from. When Greg asks dad Edward for lunch alone, Kitty has paranoid conclusions ready-made. Meanwhile Dharma gets sick of minding mother's noisy baby and the 'helpful' nearly centenary experienced minder Becky, which Abby invited. The old lady shares in the housemother credit she is denied as an amateur while getting so tired and sleep-deprived it becomes painful...
Through combined coincidences Greg and Dharma have been so busy separately, occupied by their jobs and social obligations, that they haven't had sex for weeks. While taking pity on others, like taking in Pete who fears his ex Jane might kill someone, and matching his lazy secretary Marlene with weird pragmatic foolish poet Roger. Of all places Dharma chooses to end their own sensual drought in the Montgomery mansion during a speech by the archbishop against sinful promiscuity, so wildly that the rocking chandelier makes Edward and Kitty believe there's and earthquake.
Nione of the Finkelstein can't understand why Greg wants to spend some time relaxing on a crossword rather than be dragged all over San Francisco, or wherever her whims take them. Dharma nags till the crossword author, Harrison, accepts (against his newspaper's policy) to work in a birthday greeting for Greg. She plans a surprise party, only the 'wild bee killers' country club is unacceptable for her parents, well, for Abby and for Kitty, because Edward arranged his ex to get its catering contract. Pete arranges a gift better suited for himself. On the happy day, all ...
Dharma finds an obnoxious woman gets an her nerves enough to turn her violent, against all Finkelstein principles, next to the even more aggressive sister. Greg suggests she lets off steam, but that proves dangerous too, whether verbal or in the box ring. Larry discovers the temptations of being treated to fringe benefits once word gets out among the staff he's boss Ed's in-law, even though he can't even remember who he's supposed to plead for.