Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot24 September 1997
They don't remember they saw each-other on the San Francisco subway when their totally different parents kept them apart, so they think it's love at first sight when federal prosecution official Gregory 'Greg' Montgomery can't think of anything else then Dharma Finklestein after seeing her on it again, and she recognizes his picture in the newspaper and finds him in his office, to drag him along to the Giants baseball stadium for the organ music and shouting with impunity and next for pie- all the way to Reno, where they get married the same day. Back home, the dream soon turns nightmarish after meeting her hippie parents: her dad Larry may not know they committed the 'fascist state's unnatural' marriage- while his are socialite snobs; so the lovers have a bad row over decency or staying yourself ruthlessly honest...
1 October 1997
After making Greg drag the mattress to the roof 'for the full moon' and making love instead of sleeping when it starts raining, Dharma insists to invite both their parents to celebrate their marriage. Kitty would stop or at least boycott it, but when Dharma turns up at the county-club must save face by taking over so as to hold it in style. In order to get Dharma's parents aboard, hippie versus conservative concessions are 'traded', in a messy battle for symbols of incompatible values...
8 October 1997
Hippie-child Dharma doesn't even notice well-mannered Greg's embarrassment to be seen naked by her date Brian -she forgot to cancel, having met him a day before her marriage- in bed and by wicked weird Jane while bathing: she only hears he prefers a shower, so the goof girls decide to surprise him with one; over the phone, Kitty thinks Dharma means a baby-shower... Greg tried to get the fathers closer golfing at the country club, but that's only closer to physical abuse working up trough verbal, or even crazier... Kitty shows Dharma the wealthy way to make Gregory comfortable, a classy luxury flat irresistible even to the hippie floozies, but meanwhile Pete helped him to install a shower in her flat...
15 October 1997
After Greg gives Dharma a diamond ring to announce their 'second wedding', arranged in traditional style by Kitty, they expected their parents to clash over traditions, but actually they rather fight among each-other. After Edward told Larry he's a whipped husband except for a formal marriage, the hippie 'rebels' against her extreme vegetarianism and nature rites; Kitty is fed-up her tireless hostess skills aren't appreciated, not even noticed -nor her eye-color- and actually claims to want a divorce. Bridesmaid from hell Jane meanwhile makes loveless love with best man Pete...
22 October 1997
Dharma insists to invite Greg's former legal colleague Barbara to join them in a restaurant, but once she realizes they were lovers for two years till he let her take a promotion in Washington, Dharma is jealous enough to start prospecting alternative lovers for Barbara... The wedding video may barely escape Larry's suspicion of government spying (unlike the TV set), it holds surprising proof deciding his cards dispute with 'working class exploiting capitalist' Edward, while an allergy remedy Abby offers Kitty is ignored, until she learns about its wrinkle-curing 'side-effect'...
29 October 1997
Seeing eager beaver Greg is always stressed, Dharma gets him to take her yoga class, which is hell on his untrained muscles anyway, just too much after competing with Pete makes them strain a groin viz. ham-strings. Now Dharma has limping Greg try 'do nothing' at home- in his Streber eyes literally a dog's life. Meanwhile Dharma goes hold the fort at the office, but gets phone calls mixed up with dangerous consequences... Jealous of his own rich brother, Larry seeks to make Edward his investor, somehow cashing in on the female love for yoga. Kitty plans a birthday party for her maid Luddy, a gifts dilemma for everyone, but Dharma's...
5 November 1997
Greg is most suspicious when an old Indian they never met turns up on their roof saying he needs to spend his last few days there to die in his tribe's traditional way, but Dharma is as determined to help George Littlefox with his last wishes as Larry is to apologize for the injustice inflicted by- well, other white people then his (Baltic), but anyway, and as Abby to demonstrate her irrelevant Peiute knowledge. Edward is made to sacrifice his priceless bear-rug as shroud. Kitty is getting so desperate to find a speaker at the botanical gardens even an Indian will do. Pete is eager to go with or for Greg to a dinner with the US attorney general...
12 November 1997
After Greg wins a high-profile criminal case, dad Ed brings in political adviser Andy: it's time to pursue his life-long dream, a bid for Congress. Dharma accepts a politician's wife needs to learn appropriate behavior from an expert: Kitty! To Greg's delight none of the three Finkelsteins causes any embarrassment when he officially announces his candidature, but the press only has eyes for- Greg's open fly, and when he has comfort-sex with Dharma in the car, a paparazzo shoots them with his pants down. The effect on public opinion is however surprisingly positive, and yet...
19 November 1997
When Greg and his family must pass a 'standard' FBI security check, not Dharma's past surprises, but their parents. Dharma tells her dad Larry to run as he once broke into a federal building to burn records, but when Pete checks things, he finds Larry only damaged a carpet, the revolutionary's record is squeaky clean. Abby realizes the 'innocent' truth would totally destroy Larry's self-esteem, so she and Dharma convince Greg to help them execute a ludicrous plan... On the other hand, pillar of society Edward is found to be- a bigamist, but Kitty sees a romantic side to being 'the other woman', just the zest their long sex-less relationship needs...
26 November 1997
The Finkelstein Thanksgiving is fasting instead of a turkey dinner; this year they take the next step: liberating turkeys from 'culinary death-row', but run over the only one who actually made it outside the pen. Kitty's tradition is giving the staff off and dining at a restaurant, but this year Dharma insists to cook for the whole family, actually with Jane, who picks up Pete shopping at the supermarket for him and his new cat. Based solely on Dharma's nesting, she and her gang assume her to be pregnant, only Greg is not to be told...
10 December 1997
Dharma feels terrible, being a failure as a yoga instructor. Now everyone -except her parents, who never pay anyhow- have deserted her class for Spyder's self-defense class. Only Jane understands Dharma's sniffling and whining, but it's Greg who consoles her by behaving inappropriately funny at his parent's fund-raiser recital for the San Francisco Opera. Now Dharma gathers the courage to confront her martial arts rival, who proves dishonest and mean enough to spark a cat-fight with the hippie pacifist...
17 December 1997
While the Finkelsteins' hippie tribe carols, Kitty hates having Greg's 16 year-old cousin Jennifer's staying there during her ma's honeymoon, so she convinces Dharma the girl is better off with a younger couple. When they catch Jen kissing with some youngster, Greg throws Frank out, but Dharma resists punishing as 'giving in by negative attention', they settle on sending her along when Dharma and Jane do Christmas shopping as daft German tourists. After being arrested for a sweater Jen stole but blamed the weirdos for, Dharma is converted to disciplining, but grounding proves far from easy in practice...
7 January 1998
After winning a major court case and celebrating at the office, Greg admits to Dharma his stressy job makes him unhappy, so she convinces him to resign on the spot. After a single party night, she finds Greg up making an elaborate breakfast and miserable without somewhere to 'wear his work underwear', so she convinces him to practice cooking, which he obviously enjoys, as his professional calling, even if he must start as fry-cook in a measly hamburger joint which even Pete considers beneath a lawyer. The Montgomery parents's efforts to get Greg an even better lawyer job aren't appreciated, in fact Edward is made to consider his own menial talent, hair styles, but soon...
Season 1, Episode 14: Old Yeller21 January 1998
Because Greg's compulsive neatness clashes with Dharma's free spirit car care, they decide to buy her one; a traumatic experience for the 'lying' car salesman Greg was getting a good deal from, instead she goes to an auction with Jane, and returns with- a yellow school-bus, to Greg's legally justified horror like giving -uninsured- free rides to people. Abby cooks a roast for the Montgmery's first formal visit, when Kitty discovers Abby got an original from Salazar, the sculptor whose latest exhibition her foundation hosts an opening for. At the reception, it becomes clear Salazar was Abby's fiancé, but the rain causes more urgent worries by flooding the parking lot via Salazar's giant cone outdoors, 'Old Yeller' is the only hope to evacuate the art lovers...
4 February 1998
As if Dharma's alternative medicine didn't make sick Greg miserable enough, she gets a surprise visit from her hunky ex Leonard, who took a vow of celibacy and started Buddhist wandering after their break-up, and she asks him to stay with them. Leonard has many talents and is instantly popular with everyone, even the Montgomerys take him in, while Dharma wants a few weeks of marital abstention. Only when she sees Greg is desperately unhappy, she agrees to stop seeing Leonard, but he has a surprise for Greg and Pete...
11 February 1998
Once they sneak by the dogs, Greg can take Dharma for their first Valentine's Day weekend to a B&B he booked. After a stressing drive, while she litters, plays childish car spotting games and makes him bury a roadkill, and a cop books them just during the sunset, Greg is not amused the place isn't nearly as romantic as made out on the website, while Dharma takes to the dump's owners, Alice Binns and her equally measly adult son Kenny, who reacts to the truthful criticism on the trailer, actually his room, surprisingly... Meanwhile a bad phone connection makes Kitty and Edward fear the animals benefit junk swap the Finkelstein invite them to is a sordid swingers affair...
25 February 1998
During the Winter Olympics, everything in Greg and Dharma's home is somehow linked to the Games, their official sponsors etc., including a drinking game which gets Greg, Larry -who needs somewhere to eat, Abby doesn't cook- and Edward -who flees the home where Kitty got invited to a Seniors organization on turning 50- drunk at the rate of showings of the Olympic flame, far faster then expected, till they believe their own bragging and fly to Lake Tahoe, barely able to remember they came to prove they can bobsled, for some reason from a mountain slope in a canoe... Meanwhile Dharma, Abby and wicked Jane try to convince vain Kitty life gets better from 50, and not to have plastic surgery, but the only way to cure her depression is the game to go to an officers bar, dressed as man-eaters....
4 March 1998
When the water is cut off at Greg and Dharma's place, they stay with his parents, to uninterested Kitty's obvious suspicion, while maid Celia is pretty lazy. Greg's room is the deal place to discuss their romantic past and seductive moves. Then Abby arrives in tears, because Larry still considers marriage a mindless convention, she wants open commitment after 28 years, and Dharma decides this requires a family meeting, with the Montgomerys. It gets even worse at night, when Dharma keeps the telephone line open in Greg's bedroom for Abby, Kitty sees Larry wandering around starkers and Greg in bed with Dharma. Edward's moving out after a de facto separation from Kitty is becoming hard to hide.
11 March 1998
When Dharma discovers the Montgomerys are living apart, Kitty convinces her to promise to keep the 'cooling off period' secret for Greg. Having to lie, especially to Greg, thus forced to make Jane Seymour play along in her deception (all the way over in LA!), is bad enough, but when Greg says he 'trusts her judgment' if Dharma has a good reason for keeping a secret from him, which obviously works both ways, the fear he hides things for her too rekindles her pixie sticks-addiction and spoils her six months anniversary fun when she searches his things...
1 April 1998
Dharma accepts to mind Jane's even crazier 'cat' Mr. Boots, a lunatic wearing withe socks and mittens who behaves as feline as a fat human can. However Greg is far more troubled when Dharma doctors the fortune cookies at a double date-dinner in a Chinese restaurant to tell him his parents are separated. Now the proverbial cat is out of the bag, Kitty sucks up to Dharma and Edward tries with Greg, whose remark puts dad on the path to try professional 'young flesh'...
28 April 1998
Like all San Francisco Greg loves the nude-danced ode to Spring, until he realizes it's performed on live TV by Dharma. In Kitty's socialite circles the season starts with a formal feast; when told the ballroom dancing contest requires years of practice, Dharma insists to enter just for fun, which practicing with sweet Greg is, but to Larry's utter horror she turns competitive, encouraged by ma Abby who once was a teenage dancing talent, to the point of contemplating cheating and stunting on stage...
13 May 1998
Greg discovers why Dharma is so eager to 'do it' with him in weird, dangerous, public places: it's a contest with Jane, the winner is awarded the duck (actually a goose), just one of many silly rules. Still Greg decides to help her win the duck back when told doing it with a dull gay like him was worth a bonus. They get arrested, but are released without bail by cop Mel, an old friend of the Finkelsteins. Greg reasons the safest time is during the last episode of Seinfeld, when all San Francisco will be watching inside. However enlisting Pete to give instructions by walkie-talkie is just the lead Jane needs, and she first tricks the Montgomerys to come to the steps of the courthouse...
20 May 1998
Greg's poker bunch has been playing happily for years without any serious personal conversation ever, but Dharma quickly finds out about their private lives and feelings, even becomes their confident for problems and secrets, such as the mystery man's name Paul Binyan, Stuart's job loss and hunk Howard's crush on Greg, who feels she has thus ruined his poker friends, with whom he could relax anonymously... Meanwile Kitty and Edward are so desperate to get rid of ducks who invaded their swimming pool that they appeal to Abby's Berkely degree in bird behavior, yet Larry's primitive idea does the trick...
23 September 1998
When Dharma finds their high-pregnant checkout-clerk Donna was abandoned by the baby's father, she 'obviously' offers to take her in and accepts by herself to adopt the unborn child with Greg. While Kitty dreads this like the end of civilization, the Finkelsteins are delighted with 'Greg's first truly unselfish act', while their own attempts to help save the planet by cycling instead of wasting the earth's riches proves taxing, especially for Larry. Still, Greg manages to make Dharma see his sincere yes is required for such a commitment...
30 September 1998
Now Greg has accepted adopting Donna's baby, who is biracial, his whole home is taken over by a lunatic circus including the Finkelsteins, bard Sean etcetera, because it 'takes a village to raise a child', and they all bicker over everything all day, outvoting every sensible idea. Kitty now is determined to play her part as grandmother, even sees it as another chance to become a family matriarch...
7 October 1998
Donna makes an announcement about the baby's future; the families can't agree on how to celebrate the naming of the child.
14 October 1998
Greg and Dharma planned to bail out on conventional paper anniversary celebrations with their parents, but just because she overhears him call her flaky to Kitty she gets furious for hours and taunts Greg as utter fuddy-duddy all the way to Nappa Valley, till he furiously wrecks the car. The place Greg had reserved is closed for a funeral, but he throws a rock trough the window of Maud's diner; when officer Burke drops by, they can't leave and must wait as 'Ike and Tina', for whom she invents crazy details gossiping to customers... Back in Frisco, the oldies dog-sit, and get along ever better as they drink, until the male decorations committee...
21 October 1998
Pete is helpless after breaking an arm, so Dharma insists to take him in. When she goes pick up his underwear, she realizes his life is as empty as his place dirty, and resolves to turn him into a modern, balanced man by her standards, a recipe for mutual disappointment. His piggish nature wins out, but a heavenly massage has a hellish twist.. Meanwhile Abby puts aside her aversion of Kitty's socialite style of fund-raising with fake awards, as that decuples the earnings needed to safeguard Spotswood Lake as a vital site for the endangered gray mallard. Alas celebrity Alan Alda has to cancel, so sleaze star Andrew Dice Clay takes his place, and the ducks have their own prejudice...
28 October 1998
Greg gets stripping lessons at home, then discovers a secret door in their bedroom to a hidden attic closet full of dolls which scare Dharma as 'bad karma', Jane remembers the previous tenants moved and were never heard of 'spookily'. When the cleaned-out dolls are back inexplicably, Dharma beaks up the house warming party to move away from the 'portal of hell', but Abby presides over 'exorcism' to the girls' satisfaction. When they hear noises from it at night, Greg is determined to find out the truth, so they stay up there until they see ...
Season 2, Episode 7: Valet Girl4 November 1998
To Kitty's public embarrassment Dharma abuses the junior country club membership the Montgomerys gave her to bring along Celia, their foreign maid, and works on both women's guilt till Kitty is invited against either's will to Celia's wedding, next Saturday, while she only now hears from inquisitive Dharma Celia is a former teacher and guerrilla sniper. Greg grudgingly accepts 'as a gift' to stand in for the parking valet, yet she shamelessly takes the Ferrari for endless drives. It gets worse when Greg's first physical partner ever, Ynez, is a guest who now thinks he never made it in law-school, much worse when poor communication between anglo- and hispanophones makes her jealous husband believe Greg 'picked her flower', and the only able translator is a priest...
11 November 1998
Much to Greg's chagrin, Dharma accepts the invitation of a neighborhood teenager to be his date for a high school homecoming dance. Meanwhile, Kitty sues Larry for personal injury.
18 November 1998
Dharma's dead friend George goes to Dharma and tells Dharma to go on a vision quest.
25 November 1998
Greg's proud pleasure to be given the rare excellent rating as every year is spoiled by the fact his incompetent lazy mate Pete got the same, then realizes his boss just can't choose anything as better, however clear the choice, his frantic efforts only make him look so messed-up Pete is left in charge in the boss's absence. Dharma decides on impulse to buy a shop, without a plan what to sell assisted by Jane- then accepts to let it become a waiting area for public transport passengers. Edward wants a speedboat and tries one out at sea with both parent couples, but when a seal jumps in, nobody dares go steer it...
9 December 1998
Dharma abuses her casino experience to clean out Greg- at strip poker, but he can't have sex while her parents are in the next room. When they show papers from lawyer David Saunders who is hell-bent to acquire their home, Greg warns it's a ratty shark who was at Harvard with him, but Dharma insists to invite David and his -obviously cheated-on, spoiled but unhappy- wife Patty and appeals to the good in the 'little boy beneath the tough surface', only to have everything she says used against her parents. Finally after Saunders expects her to offer him sex to back off, she realizes the hard way of the real world is needed and justified, but against such a bastard still worse may fit: Kitty's advice to dig up David's dirt, even literally...
16 December 1998
When Pete's horrible girlfriend allows him to take Greg and Dharma along to an American football game, something strictly banned from the Finkelstein household, she not only learns the rules but becomes the 49ers most avid 'superfan' as called on TV. 'We' hence means the San Francisco team, taking over her entire life, even watching college games as recruiting potential, while she imagines her presence and superstitious idiotic dances are required for the team to win, wherever they play, so she gets up in the middle of the night to follow them to say Chicago, Greg is worried sick and neglected...
6 January 1999
Just to spite Kitty, who brought the family for a dignified visit to Edward mother's deathbed, Beatrice Montgomery gives her priceless Stradivarius to Dharma, who even doubts playing a violin requires training, but joins a kids class. Greg demands Dharma should respect his family's non-demonstrative way, but she keeps encouraging 'last fun' and pressing for a reconciliation in the 'feud' since Edward married a 'mere' millionaire' daughter. When Greg finally drags Edward to 'Bea', it's too late, but she had just promised the heirloom engagement ring Kitty never got...
20 January 1999
Dharma and Greg masquerade as a southern couple to impress a judge before whom Greg is arguing a case.
3 February 1999
When Dharma meets Kitty's fox-hunt horse Capital Loss, the devilish stallion and she get spontaneously along, and more: he even escapes to follow her home... Meanwhile Greg has to work late with his ex Barbara Colfield, and makes Pete pretend he's just with him, but the secret is hard to keep, and when Dharma finds out and the birthday gift he hid for her...
10 February 1999
When Dharma persists putting money in other peoples parking meters, even after a warden's warning that's illegal, she gets eight tickets but ignores Greg's advice not to fight the city, only to find red tape in city hall runs long enough to wear down anyone dumb enough to try. After Jane suspects her boy-friend in jail has another and Pete admits his girl Eileen is invented, they decide to celebrate Valentine's day by- getting married... Greg tells Dharma complaints on principles should go before the board of supervisors anyhow- which turns out to be a parade of hopeless nut-cases, the chairman even gets a fatal cardiac arrest from them. Alas Dharama takes hat as a karmic sign she should run for his succession...
17 February 1999
Dharma runs her campaign for San Francisco Supervisor the 'democratic' Finkelstein way: hippie nonsense rules by drawing tasks from a hat, with no regard for any capacity, nor for the logic and tricks of campaign efficiency, so when Greg takes a week off to help, his experience as congressional candidate is put to no better use then licking stamps! Then Karen Love steps into the race- Dharma just worries about the name ("'care and 'love' are all we stand for") but Greg warns the no-nonsense college graduate will make mince meat of ignorant Dharma in the first debate on every issue, and boy was he right...
24 February 1999
In the final phase of her electoral campaign for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, Dharma gets a gut full of honesty harvesting lukewarm or negative crowd reactions and learns from Greg to tell what people want to hear without actually saying anything. She gets addicted to the applause, enough to lie to everyone and be believed as she has no record. The effort causes her to get a terrible, uncured cold, rendering her ugly and bitchy, so she turns down an offer by competitor Karen Love to become her advisor, and breaks down during a TV debate, calling herself a terrible liar and Greg bad in bed last night. However the electorate seems to respond to this refreshing honesty...
3 March 1999
Fearing they'll never get to spend time with Greg as Dharma keeps involving him in her loony world, Kitty drags Edward along to a forest retreat couples relation weekend, but back home -on foot- after seeing Larry leaving the only latrine. Inside therapist Chapman's tests, in which couples earn stones in a basket based on indications of compatibility, absurdly suggest constantly bickering Pete and Jane would be the best match, Greg and Dharma the worst, so frustrating they even cheat...
24 March 1999
Edward is miserable in retirement, no more work or purpose, just dragged along by Kitty, who feels her best years finally started. Dharma made Greg give her a stock investment account, but was stupid enough to waste all on a tip from Larry, eDrag.com which sells dresses to men and got listed to launch itself internationally. Desperate to get something out of the dodo, she enlists management expert Edward's help to put the firm on the market. Hoping to escape such pastimes a Kitty's book club, he does a great job and enjoys life again, but Kitty explodes now Dharma has ruined her plans for Gregory and her marriage...
5 May 1999
After six weeks of marital hell, Pete and Jane decide to get divorced, and Dharma presses Greg to plead Jane's case, which he ethically can't accept given the conflict of interest, being Pete's friend, but just advising her ruins that terrible lawyer's chances. The couple's furious fight for their meager assets takes a surprising turn... Now Dharma's six month trial period in the socialite charity committee is over, she is put in charge of a ball where Kitty is to get an award, but instead of following 'suggestions' writes the speech herself and is declared persona non grata in the Montgomery home. Greg insists to handle it his ma's way, pretending it never happened after a cooling off period, but Dharma can't keep her ugly big mouth shut...
12 May 1999
Greg is in hospital, and Dharma tortures the worried Montgomery parents by telling them in inconsistent flashbacks how it all happened. It started when her dad Larry came help repair some loose tiles in the bathroom, but they made a huge hole in the exterior wall; every attempt by Greg to get some damage undone results in worse throughout the apartment, a contractor he asks for an estimate can't even come within a reasonable time yet charges $435 for an hour doing nothing and beats Greg up, so it's back to do-it-yourself with or without loony Larry...
19 May 1999
Because of a dream, Dharma is convinced that the flight Greg and Pete are going to take to Washington will crash. Nothing can convince her otherwise, not even Abby's admission after reading tarot cards the dream probably has another meaning, such as sexual frustration. She therefore tries anything to stop him going, from hiding all his cloths to taking the door out of its hinges, but he still goes and arrives fine, only Peter was worried sick Dharma would be right. Then Dharma's real problem becomes clear: she can't sleep alone without Greg, and makes life impossible for Jane, the dogs and Kitty, while Pete keeps Greg awake by phoning home...
26 May 1999
Greg remarks he and Dharma missed something as they didn't date before wedding, so they decide to pretend to be unwed lovers. Even Larry plays the 'real dad'. Of course the date goes wrong, but his argument presenting themselves to his parents is too weird, even for her, makes her start a row and return to her wacky parents, yet like a love-sick puppy he willingly goes to extreme lengths to be 'forgiven', stripping on the goat's lawn.
21 September 1999
Greg questions his reason for becoming a lawyer and begins a journey of self-discovery.
28 September 1999
Eager to please everyone, Greg has finally cracked under the pressure of Montgomerys and Finkelsteins tug-of-war. Greg runs away to search for himself, spending some time on his own, masquerading as a bearded hippie in boarding in the measly Calamari hotel. Back home, the fighting goes on about who to blame. Dharma worries until Greg calls, but he promises her not to say where he is. Meanwhile Greg talks to New York Portorican neighbor Trina. Dharma goes salmon-fishing with Edward, Greg takes a fish cleaning job. Then it's truth time...
5 October 1999
Now Greg is home, still searching himself, having quit his prosecution office job, he insists on economizing on domestic expenses by doing his own washing and cooking. Dharma, meanwhile, works odd unskilled jobs to make ends meet. Kitty tempts Dharma with money. Kitty and Dharma go to the opera, meanwhile Greg is being persuaded among suited men to sign on with a tycoon. The Faust opera plot inspires Dharma, to a suddenly desperate change of mind...
12 October 1999
Greg is being terribly argumentative to the point of being insufferable, eruditely pointing out the tiniest details and driving everyone nuts being right and uses each available avenue, everywhere, even building a documented case his parents did a bad job raising him. The Finkelsteins insist Dharma must argue with Greg to prevent him seeking this satisfaction elsewhere. Ironically the only one who is naturally as smart, pedantic and sweet a gentleman as Greg, pizza delivery-boy Donald, invites Dharma to play in his band as the drummer is sick. Greg comes along, and soon starts arguing with the boys' parents telling them how they are driving Donald crazy too.
19 October 1999
Kitty enters the menopause and becomes very emotional, scaring everyone off literally at a safe distance, or in Edward's case hiding in his car. Dharma, counseled by Abby to run, decides to help make Kitty's dream (winning a beauty pageant) come true. Dharma gets what she deserves: endless chores as dogsbody to take care of fickle whims. On the big night things go wrong, especially Edward's ode to Kitty as he reads out the inappropriate comments he also wrote down amongst the dictated text...
26 November 1999
When Doris Haviland, a lonely old woman from their building, dies, a mere draft at her funeral -only them and the reverend- convinces Dharma the ghost is contacting her, and in the Finkelstein world that must mean some unfinished business, such as her sexual frustration, compensated for by a hat collection. Various 'possessed' scenes follow, not in the least in poor Greg's nightmares, which drive him out of bed in his underwear, even to the cemetery. Meanwhile Greg's parents enjoy dressing up for Halloween scarecrow-style: in everyday Finkelstein hippie-rags!
2 November 1999
Greg acts as indignant as Dharma when his parents ask them to dinner only to nag him for 'wasting his life', having been unemployed for months, but back home he breaks down with guilt. When he tells Dharma his plan, even she thinks its crazy. Greg wants to train to become a professional golfer, but this will take 18 years. Nevertheless she joins him on the golf course - with Jane as their caddy. Montgomery Enterprises offers him a cushy job in Scotland, and even the taste of haggis doesn't put him off. Dharma resorts to a diabolical ploy.
9 November 1999
Larry and Aby finally decide to get married, and Dharama offers to throw a 'simple' party. Abby's ideas about romantically ideal ceremonies are as frustratingly inconstant as some are bordering on impossible. Larry's obsession with big brother requires Greg's help to prove he exists legally and prevent the wedding making him traceable. Meanwhile Greg's search for himself brought him back to practicing law, but in secret so Dharma shouldn't find out.
16 November 1999
Greg is starting his private lawyer's practice, but Dharma keeps chasing his clients by giving them alternative non-litigant advice, even after he takes a shabby office to get away from home where her loony nature is obvious at first sight. When Pete asks for legal advice concerning their common landlord Mrs. Spinoza, Greg hands the case over to Dharma. She gets what she deserves for believing the greedy shark to be a sweet old lady. Meanwhile Larry's childish fight with his neighbor gets so desperately out of hand that he becomes Greg's despairing client.
23 November 1999
Greg and Dharma experience a physical downside to being on good terms with both families: their parent pairs each insist on hosting Thanksgiving parties. Abby tearfully 'murders' a turkey and Kitty actually cooks- so badly even she can barely recognize the courses. As if that weren't enough assault on their digestion, Dharma volunteered both of them for a homeless shelter's turkey dinner, and 'almost her own son' Greg couldn't deny popping in at Montgomery maid Celia's first Thanksgiving with her recently immigrated parents.
30 November 1999
Greg launches his practice with a dignified TV commercial, nevertheless the end of civilization according to Kitty. Alas the only interested reaction all day is - for Dharma, whose endless bumbling cost over 150 takes, for a beer commercial. Greg feels even more miserable when the loony job earns her a small fortune, which she spends on a giant TV 'for him', which he can't even turn on as it symbolizes his loss of bread-winner status, so he tuns it in and buys a small one.
14 December 1999
When another nasty row between Pete and Jane makes them bail out of an Aerosmith rock concert, Greg and Dharma are stuck with two extra tickets. Looking for alternatives they realize they don't really have friends their age, but finally meet a charming couple, Doug and Cynthia, with whom they get on well. Suddenly the Goodbars seem unwilling to meet Greg and Dharma anymore, so they start guessing what the other did to scare them off and sort of spy on them.
11 January 2000
Greg's law practice now goes so well he's exhausted. He wants a secretary but is too stressed for time to select one, so Dharma decides to do that for him, and subjects candidates to loony tests, even horoscopes. When the apparently ideally qualified and motivated candidate is too attractive for words, as even Jane remarks, Dharma imagines what will happen if she goes by her principles of non-discrimination, before making up her mind.
25 January 2000
When mindless Dharma runs after a man to 'return' a wallet he obviously just stole, before the police and worried Greg catch up she has accidentally made a citizen arrest. For once her cupid-meddling with young cops Billa and Ellen makes both couples spend time as friends, with a major drawback: the police are Larry's very idea of incarnated evil authority, incompatible with planning Abby's birthday 'surprise' party, so they end up staging one each, in adjoining rooms.
8 February 2000
15 February 2000
Minding the Finkelstein house while they travel 'up' to Washington is bad enough for Greg with female furniture sex-suitability suggestions, worse is hearing that's D.C., for a Senate meeting on an environmentally challenged bill his parents also fly to -actually on the same plane. Worst is when the dogs dig up human bones, which Dharma knows to be Uncle Henry 'Pinto', illegally buried, and workmen are about to lay pipes just there.
22 February 2000
29 February 2000
Dharma's shameless public decides to 'coach' supermarket staff Donald -a cute, coy teenage genius- and Anita who have decided to shed their virginity together. She offers them her home as a venue. Dharma stays at her parents, where Larry discovered a single scent, alas no longer in production, rekindles his memory shortly each time he sniffs it. Greg can't watch and listen to 'kama sutra school' any longer, so he goes to spend time at his parents, where he remembers a traumatic event from his youth. Dharma discovers Anita isn't looking for love, just sex, but Donald only suffered her 'wise advice' sweetly, just sex is all he really wants too. Then Greg returns unannounced.
14 March 2000
Dharma worries that Greg over-plans their otherwise healthy sex-life because of such 'scientific patterns' as food-related sex-games after every shuttle launch, her attempts as Abby advises to break his routine fail. The 'ladies' all keep returning to an unsanitary, hazardous, measly Greek restaurant just because waiter Stavros is such a hot stud. Greg tells Ed and Pete he noticed something makes Dharma aloof and is made to believe she must be unfaithful. Now both spouses are needlessly frustrated while trying too hard.
21 March 2000
The Finkelsteins hold their seven-yearly karmic cleansing, which means confessing one's faults to the victim, who forgives by blowing them into an imaginary bubble. Greg adopts this hippie lunacy at home, but when Kitty forgives Dharma 'since you didn't mean it' she dares not confess, and believes from then to be unlucky through spoiled karma. Meanwhile Larry proves most unforgiving as maid Celia's 'union rep', extorting better conditions from 'management negotiator' Edward, although neither knows her present pay.
Season 3, Episode 21: Big Daddy11 April 2000
Greg's ex, Stephanie, wants a letter of recommendation for her son, Jeremy, to get into the exclusive prep school where Greg went. When she brings the kid along Greg and Jeremy get on so well, being obviously alike. This leads Dharma into believing that Greg must be his biological father. Meanwhile a remark by Edward gets Kitty obsessed with Larry.
18 April 2000
When Dharma pays the bills she discovers Greg's storage box where he put away all his belongings when he moved in with her. At first she scolds him for mistrusting their marriage, then realizes he gave up everything for her, feels guilty and puts his furniture etc inside instead of her own. Abby calls it a feng-shui nightmare and huge health hazard. Larry just likes it and Edward becomes quit jealous of not being allowed almost anything. Dharma also starts behaving peculiarly efficient, so in the end Pete gets the consolation prize.
9 May 2000
Used to being re-elected as the Alternative Cooperation president, Abby expects the same after nominating Dharma as counter candidate, who to all the Finkelsteins' horror is instantly elected. Dharma believes that all her changes are turning into disasters (because of Abby's devious work). Greg is delighted to get a case for Canadian singer K.D. Lang, so he can tag along to her studio recording, where he volunteers his services for a questionable approach to her recording deals.
Season 3, Episode 24: Be My Baby16 May 2000
A drunk 'vision' after a wine tasting trio to Napa Valley makes Dharma decide to have a baby, so Greg is pressed to try hard and often. Pete is finally fired at Justice. Greg refuses to take his legally incompetent friend or even to write him an insincere letter of recommendation, yet is pressed into that by the girls -although Jane scolded Pete a loser herself- only to be bitterly told that got Pete's fake one found out... Abby announces happily to be a crone, then proves cranky, blamed on menopause, but turns out pregnant herself, to Larry's despair and denial, Dharma thinks that's 'the' baby she dreamed about already.
10 October 2000
Dharma is appalled when her mother Abby decides to raise her new baby normally, not the 'cool, liberating' loony hippie way she was raised. While defending the crazy attributes of her youth she finally faces facts, it was all emotional baggage to dump on a child. Abby is rushed to hospital, and Dharma feels guilty for resenting her ma as an 'unworthy expecting mother'. George Littlefox's spirit appears to her. Meanwhile Jane asks for help with her loveless marriage to Greg's mate Pete, and his advice to talk instead of just indulging in her SM abuse results in a drastic resolution.
24 October 2000
Greg joins a trip to Mexico with Dharma and her hippie friends, but things quickly get uncomfortable on the way. Larry gets a job at Montgomery Industries as a night security guard, but his first shift gets the better of him.
31 October 2000
Dharma 'coaches' an alternative class softball team, completely oblivious of the competition. Greg's motivational speech and any other normal phrase are instantly scolded; even Pete would be a real athletic improvement. Edward is in a good mood, so the women wickedly presume he must have an affair. He asks Dharma not to tell Kitty he's seeing his 'lady friend'. Kitty was prepared to turn a blind eye, but Dharma gets her in a murderous mood; it turns out to be another kind of secret pleasure.
14 November 2000
Fascinated by general Kirby's war memories praising his dad Edward, Greg decides to join the Army Reserve corps, which recruits top-graduates like him at the grade of Captain. Pacifist Dharma is dead against anything military, but for once her bossy dictatorial nonsense is ignored. The new officer flies to Virginia for a course in procurement, where he shows annoying enthusiasm in both the matter and meaningless military decorum. Meanwhile Edward's 'reassuring' remark landing in a war zone is highly unlikely suffices to make Dharma realize darling Greg's well-being counts for more then political principles.
21 November 2000
Edward soon regrets Kitty generously offered to donate the state-of-the-art van they won in a raffle to the Finkelsteins, as penniless-proud Larry keeps bugging him about a fair price. Abby is elated unlike Dharma, who expected the job, to have famous midwife-author Chloe assisting at her baby's birth, but they bicker as badly as the fathers, till an unlikely savior is hailed.
28 November 2000
After Greg made the Finkelsteins realize that made-up hippie names may be cute for girls, but they get boys beaten up by peers, they bicker through a list of preferred relatives in order to take regular names from. When Greg asks dad Edward for lunch alone, Kitty has paranoid conclusions ready-made. Meanwhile Dharma gets sick of minding mother's noisy baby and the 'helpful' nearly centenary experienced minder Becky, which Abby invited. The old lady shares in the housemother credit she is denied as an amateur while getting so tired and sleep-deprived it becomes painful, especially on her yoga-class.
5 December 2000
Through combined coincidences Greg and Dharma have been so busy separately, occupied by their jobs and social obligations, that they haven't had sex for weeks. While taking pity on others, like taking in Pete who fears his ex Jane might kill someone, and matching his lazy secretary Marlene with weird pragmatic foolish poet Roger. Of all places Dharma chooses to end their own sensual drought in the Montgomery mansion during a speech by the archbishop against sinful promiscuity, so wildly that the rocking chandelier makes Edward and Kitty believe there's and earthquake.
12 December 2000
Nione of the Finkelstein can't understand why Greg wants to spend some time relaxing on a crossword rather than be dragged all over San Francisco, or wherever her whims take them. Dharma nags till the crossword author, Harrison, accepts (against his newspaper's policy) to work in a birthday greeting for Greg. She plans a surprise party, only the 'wild bee killers' country club is unacceptable for her parents, well, for Abby and for Kitty, because Edward arranged his ex to get its catering contract. Pete arranges a gift better suited for himself. On the happy day, all her plans go wrong, making everyone miserable.
19 December 2000
Dharma finds an obnoxious woman gets an her nerves enough to turn her violent, against all Finkelstein principles, next to the even more aggressive sister. Greg suggests she lets off steam, but that proves dangerous too, whether verbal or in the box ring. Larry discovers the temptations of being treated to fringe benefits once word gets out among the staff he's boss Ed's in-law, even though he can't even remember who he's supposed to plead for.
9 January 2001
When Dharma notices how neighbor, law student Donald Ridgely, dreams about the lingerie models in her yoga class -Pete actually bribes her to be allowed to the same sessions-, she invites him to dinner. Greg gives his new protégé an internship at his office, where the other staff shamelessly abuses the gentle kid as their errand-boy. The real worry is Dharma, who decides college shouldn't be 'just' about study and arranges for Donald to join a fraternity, so he starts spending valuable study time on prank nonsense as 'new experiences'. When Greg protests the boy won't be 'rescued' like Dharma, she claims she doesn't need a provider, a claim they test by going Dutch in all domestic matters. She stinks at housework and earning, so she ditches back-pay yogis, gives classes every night and preys on her parents for dinner, even wants an allowance 'like baby Harry'.
Season 4, Episode 11: The Box16 January 2001
Dharma accidentally discovers Greg has a strong box. Greg assures her it's not a matter of keeping secrets but of privacy, which she claims to respect. In fact she keeps trying first to make him disclose, then to get it open behind his back or even by proxy, till he takes action. Meanwhile Larry takes Edward's advice to leave the delicate choice of a gift for post-natal depressed Abby to the expert, Kitty, who soon regrets trying to teach Larry how to shop with free champagne.
30 January 2001
Dharma is forced to make cutbacks with the co-op while Greg makes a slam-dunk case personal when he learns that the other side's lawyer used to live with Dharma.
6 February 2001
When his parents ask Greg to defend rich brat Brandon Gullicksen, he's angry once he finds the incorrigible scamp pulls pranks and gets caught regularly and wants to dump such a morally dubious client, while Pete just sees a 'gold mine'. Realizing Brandon is rebelling in order to get back at his absentee parents for dumping him in boarding school, Greg sympathizes from experience and acts as substitute dad. Taking notes for sick Donald in college, Dharma discovers Larry's history lessons were pure lunacy and considers going to college herself. Greg thinks she'll change her mind long before the four years that the course takes, and first she must get a real high-school degree. However, the divorced professor Charlie accepts to tutor her in exchange for yoga classes, so they become closer then Marcie considers appropriate.
13 February 2001
Dharma feels guilty now that Charlie declares his love, although nothing happens, so she tries to spoil Greg and hint he's intimate with a female divorce client, Brandon's mother. Abby claims feelings can't be controlled, Kitty warns her not to hurt Greg for a stillborn affair.
20 February 2001
At Edward's birthday party, Dharma enters the soap opera-like drama of the Montgomery clan and detects a conspiracy among some of them to take over the company.
13 March 2001
Dharma drags Greg away from a boring lecture on Victorian architecture to crash what turns out a class reunion, assuming the identity of non-show alumni Judy and Todd, who were the least viz. most liked class mates, so he has a ball posing as the popular hero, she starts feeling guilty for her assumed persona, and carries that on trying to make amends as Judy even afterward, as usual as absurdum. Meanwhile Edward gets envious enough of the Finkelstein sex frequency to take his cue from 'Love Dr.' Larry, he brings Abby to coach Kitty about seduction, but their combined advice has an unmatched result.
27 March 2001
Kitty is dead-set on dragging the family to a 'tulip festival', but although Dharma messes up Greg's excuses Edward gets both boys off with a -real- root canal. In order to escape the destination, Dharma gets Kitty to try her amazing pool skills in a pool bar, and teaches her to hustle. Meanwhile Greg and Pete planned to trap a rat behind her back, but Abby drops by and refuses to lie. The 'safe trap' still kills the rodent while Dharma is back hustling with Kitty, who likes winning so much that she drops her guard and takes on Sweet Lou.
3 April 2001
Greg is eagerly doing another week in the Army reserve, lots of boyish fun for the serious lawyer, even though real Rangers play a cruel trick on his kind. Dharma insists he should keep the law office open, with Pete in charge, and gets him 'easy' routine cases, such as Marcia's conflict with her landlord. As Greg feared, Pete's legal incompetence causes disaster, despite Dharma picking lazy, arrogant legal secretary Marlene's brain for procedures in return for pleading for a raise. Pete manages to drive Marlena away, and mess up worse then she could wish him.
10 April 2001
Greg finds out Kitty has enrolled him as sole adult for a 'mother and son' fashion show, angrily walks off and calls her devotion to charity fund-raising a wasteful excuse to show of her outfits. Dharma's attempts to make him make up stand no chance, so she spends time with he Montgomerys without him. A Finkelstein advice attempt only makes Abby realize Larry doesn't speak up for her against his mother. Kitty 'adopts' obviously gay waiter-actor with matching fashion sense David as substitute son, but is in for a surprise at his stand-up performance.
24 April 2001
During spring cleaning Greg gets sentimental about some collectibles and their childhood memories that Dharma would sell for pittance, and decides to finish a model warship meticulously, with Pete's dubious help. Dharma concentrates on a notebook which got into Greg's boxes by accident, containing Kitty's private erotic stories. She feels they're too good to remain unpublished, and drags the author along to Abby's loony 'literary' circle, with the desired effect. However, a writer's block proves quite a dilemma: she only produces steamy stuff when she's frustrated in Edward's bed.
1 May 2001
When Greg's short study friend, Ray, visits and brings along is equally short wife, Kate, Dharma embarrasses everyone by absurdly scolding Greg for every word that could conceivably have the slightest height-connotation. When Greg makes her realize she was the one wrongly raised, denying people's reality rather then accept them as they are, she goes overboard the other way. Meanwhile Edward's mediocre performance at bridge frustrates Kitty by making them loose against the Finkelsteins every time - or should Larry drop a game?
8 May 2001
When Dharma sees Montgomery Enterprises has a large plot of land, she convinces Kitty to make Edward turn the investment into a communal gardening plot. This soon becomes a battleground with her loony commune over organic gardening versus a clinical industrial approach, for which Greg even hires a college expert. A bag of money is found, which turns out to be the missing fortune that Edward erroneously fired his chief accountant, Earl, for thirty years ago, taking him for a thief. Dharma can't help stirring the wound Earl had finally come to terms with. In both story lines lawyers experience a strange twist.
15 May 2001
Greg is furious after finding a letter which proves Dharma lied to him about Charlie. Dr. Trish's childish 'methods' are no help; even Kitty's assurance to Dharma that, on balance, they are good for her son's happiness doesn't cut it. Greg still encourages her to start classes at UCLA where Charlie teaches history, but sees her leaving his car.
22 May 2001
Greg has moved out after catching Dharma with Charlie. Greg stays with Pete, who has a 'relationship' with Hungarian Magda, or guesses so as he speaks no more Hungarian than she does English - she may be a maid or a hooker, and finding out proves perilous. Charlie tries to convince Greg he's still Dharma's greatest joy, to no avail. However the split-up couple must meet for friends' wedding preparations, being usher to the Montgomery family's Jewish lawyer Gottlieb's son Russel viz. bridesmaid to Chinese co-op member Susan. At first their marital row seems to spill over to the happy couple, whose families fight constantly, then the couple's reconciliation. Finally there is a cliffhanger.
25 September 2001
Just after Greg and Dharma made up, they had a car accident which lands her in hospital. Greg is concerned more with her medical treatment than is she, Dr. Coleman or physiotherapist Nancy, whom she matches with Pete. When the Finkelsteins arrange an alternative 'therapy' with a loon in Santa Fé, that crosses the top surgeon Gower which Greg got to operate on her. Meanwhile jealous Kitty refuses to let the hippie couple take care of Greg and his place.
25 September 2001
Even during her rehabilitation and still in a wheelchair, Dharma keeps meddling with everybody else's love - and other lives, but none of them accepts or appreciates it, and even matchmaking Pete with her physiotherapist turns sour. She also pretends to need no help and ignores doctors orders and other warnings to take it easy, pending full recovery, but Greg finds her flat on her face and in tears as physical reality catches up with loony arrogance.
2 October 2001
When Dharma starts a very amateuristic radio station in the living room, Greg jumps in opposing callers' conspiracies and other loony theories, yet finds the right tone to handle the audience, but is ignorant of one technical kink. Surprisingly the most requests are for a good song by - Larry, so Dharma wants him to perform at an open night. Kitty panics when Greg finds an old-fashioned suit which Edward insists on wearing publicly.
9 October 2001
Shameless Dharma enjoys making prudish Kitty hear how she tells Greg she's ready to have sex again. After discussing the total loss car with insurance official Ed, Greg first takes her to Dr. Coleman, to check what exactly they are allowed in her recovering state, then is terribly worried not to hurt her. Meanwhile Larry refuses to return Edward's favorite chair, which Kitty gave away, but promises to gamble for it.
16 October 2001
The British tourist couple Henry and Lorraine Cooper accidentally phones Dharma and Greg, looking for a B&B to celebrate their anniversary. They can't find any vacancies elsewhere because the fleet is in San Fransisco, so Dharma decides to volunteer Greg as their waiter and footman at home. Alas Henry proves too picky for such a perfectionist's pride. Kitty is furious the zoo named a hippo facility after her and demands Greg's help to get better value for 'charity' in the ongoing rivalry with another socialite couple, Porter and Teensy. When the Brits leave without a personal thank you, Dharma loses faith in people. Greg solves both crises.
23 October 2001
Greg was surprised when Dharma stole his PJ pants while he slept, and startled when he meets a self-invited house-guest wearing only his boxers. The guest turns out to be Dharma's commune youth friend, September, a radical hippie who even puts bugs in salad. While they visit the Finkelstein parents, with the intent of meeting Larry and finding out if he's September's biological father, Greg is left alone wrestling with Dharma's claim he can't live without his electronic friends, such as radio and TV.
Season 5, Episode 7: Used Karma30 October 2001
Greg finds out that Dharma actually bought the sports-car he only dreams about. After Abby declares the car is haunted, Pete shows them a file about its previous owner who was a gangster called Shorty Green. Meanwhile Edward tells 'security professional' Larry to mount a camera to find out which Halloween vandal always throws eggs at his house.
13 November 2001
When Dharma finds her friend Terry the performance artist is in Frisco, she immediately accepts an invitation to participate in his latest 'play': being live exhibits in a gallery for a week, which gets extended to a month. Greg didn't see the point in it but let her go. Larry, who is thrown out by Abby for feeding the baby meat, moves in and drives Greg nuts, even climbing in his bed stark-naked. Even Dharma slowly starts to realize she should give priority to her marriage.
20 November 2001
Greg had planned to escape their rowing parents by spending Thanskiving on the Bahamas, but bad weather got them stuck in Fort Wayne, Indiana. While he eagerly tries to rebook, however complicated, despite incompetence or ill will from airline staff, even to another tropical destination, Dharma gets involved in a couple on its way to a romantic wedding, if they don't break up.
27 November 2001
When Kitty offers Greg and Dharma a cruise but fails to mention she and Edward are also coming, for once Greg abandons his excuse and even insists he would prefer to be able to tell the truth. This deeply unsettles the balance of pretense in the Montgomery Senior household. Dharma bugs Greg till he admits his sexual fantasy girl is a famous violist he once shared winks and a cab with. She wrecks it for Greg by contacting her and decides to 'provide' him a new fantasy, which delivers only stunting.
4 December 2001
Dharma refuses even a white lie against her parents, so she makes Greg tell Abby he and Edward are going fishing, a rare habit- to her, plain murder and cause for divorce. After Dharma's desperate attempts to stop him Greg confides in her the men in fact don't fish but go to Las Vegas; maid Celia tells them what Kitty does. Now Dharma tries to learn from Pete what they do in Vegas...
11 December 2001
Dharma & Greg find that they nearly met quite a few times before they really met. But the universe wasn't ready for them.
8 January 2002
Dharma makes Greg have sex with her in his parent's country club's coat check, but the real embarrassment comes when everybody wriggles out of attending Kitty's socialite rival Teensy Manhart's theatre opening. That turns out to be on an ecologically valuable wetland (marsh), so the Finkelsteins lead the protest, or was that Kitty's devious plan to eliminate her 'charity' competition?
5 March 2002
Tasting the vegetarian' chili con carne that Larry wants to sell lands Ed in hospital. He's is soon released but forbidden to work, so Greg must fill in for him. Dharma takes Ed shoe shopping to the store that Montgomery Industries owns at the mall, so he shows Vaughn's sales team how much better an enthusiastic talent does it. Kitty pulls Ed up for his image, then tells Dharma he's putting off retirement until Greg takes over.
12 March 2002
To Ed's delight Greg starts working at Montgomery Industries, where Kitty and her interior decorator Lorenzo try -mostly absurd- office themes. Donald shows his new comic creation, superhero Blond Tornado, modeled on Dharma, so she insists on helping him promote it at a convention, in costume. Pete consults Greg about his legal problems, but jealous VP Howard spreads the word that Pete is the brain behind the heir. When Dharma, in costume, attacks a store-robber, Greg saves her by disarming the fiend and makes her sit on him- she makes the newspaper, Greg is passed off as the inferior new man - once too often.
19 March 2002
Greg finds his German new legal colleague too sexy not to fantasize about, and her European ways too seductive, so he absurdly feels guilty and spoils Dharma with diamonds. She really is guilty - of tricking Lalit, the guru who took over her yoga classes at the hippie coop and is so good at it nobody wants her back, into returning to India.
26 March 2002
At a business drink with conservative Mongomery Industries client Kevin Kincaid, Dharma meets his rebellious daughter, Kelly, and stirs her plans to quit a college education for Jared's band. Dharma even joins it and encourages embarrassing acts, such as a naked performance on the roof. When Kelly's father kicks her out, Dharma takes the whole gang -who lived in her student flat- in, again without consulting Greg, who is mortified. Even his father, Ed, offers to take over. Kelly's applause for her comment 'not even trying to explain what suits can't understand', makes Dharma feel guilty and she tries to make an effort to be a "corporate" wife - Kitty-style.
2 April 2002
Greg is delighted by an office visit from a very polite Harvard Law School student, Rick Sanderson. But to his horror discovers afterward he's been had at a hair-brain game they apparently still play there, involving an Eisenhower bust as a trophy. However an elaborate plot is devised to take revenge under the crazy rules with Pete, Dharma and Susan. Things don't go to plan but still work out. Meanwhile ever incompetent Larry finally gets fired from his security desk job.
2 April 2002
Dharma stupidly forgot to renew her license, passes the drivers exam only because it's a shamble, and manages to loose an heirloom ring Kitty gave her. Pete begs Greg to save him from his girlfriend Gretchen's nymphomaniac appetite, since Dharma gave him a book on sensitive wooing. Dharma discovers Kitty actually gave her fake ring, and proves again that was very wise, yet refuses to acknowledge so.
9 April 2002
Seeing how Larry, already depressed by his dismissal as Mongomery Industries security guard, mourns the impending closing of Frisco's conspiracy books shop, Greg sees red. All that pseudo-scientific lies about UFO's need to be put right. Dharma only sees an alternative occupation for her dad, except he won't take the capital required for a takeover from anyone. Larry's estranged brother Herb, a dentist, is somehow persuaded by Dharma to offer the money. When the bookshop seems to be sabotaged, Dharma thinks Larry was right all the time Herb wanted to see his brother fail. Then the facts get known.
16 April 2002
Seeing Marlena Hoffman, who until recently was working in a clothes shop, Greg wants her to leave but Dharma insists on helping her. Greg fired Marlena as she was a lazy mean secretary, and it appeared that she lost her subsequent job in the clothes shop because she was just as rude. Dharma takes in Marlene's ill cat, but Marlena's parents are far worse to handle and she takes them to the Finkelstein's home. Meanwhile Edward refuses to play along with Kitty's fashionably planned wedding vows renewal, as nobody asked him, and later gives the vows an artistic twist.
23 April 2002
Greg notices young Gracie stays behind after a performance by Rodney the clown. Dharma insists to take elaborate care of Gracie, dragging the brat along to everyone's nuisance at Montgomery Industries. Kitty's alleged abuse of a perfume saleslady got her convicted to community service. She expected Abby to sign her hours slip at the recycling shop, but when that is denied as cheating turns the place into a fashionable elite boutique against every hippie grain, with the desired result.
30 April 2002
Greg planned a nice anniversary holiday with Dharma, but she can't help promising to her parents to join their hippie celebration of Abby's 'spiritual birthday' and to Kitty to spend equal quality time with the Montgomerys. Thus Greg and both elderly couples find themselves lumped together in Ed's country retreat, a sure recipe for almost instant bickering. It gets so bad, as the Finkelsteins mount a tent camp with ludicrous demands against the 'hypocrits', that Dharma finally admits Greg is right, five years of reconciliation attempt achieved nothing. Meanwhile Greg left Pete to meet an SEC official, but her sex-appeal decided him to overstep his courtesy-only instructions.
30 April 2002
Giving up on their parents, Greg and Dharma drive off and she gets them stuck in the snow. They compare frustrations about dubious parents and systematically disagree how to do better when they'll have kids. Meanwhile the oldies got along great with drinks in the jacuzzi, until Abby screams murder(ers) because of hunting trophies and forces Larry to mount another protest while it snows. Meanwhile Pete panics in the office, having spilled the fictitious beans to get in bed with Laura from the SEC.
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