Werewolf (1995 Video)
Sam the Keeper: Weird things a-goin', weird things a-comin', weird things a-happenin' 'round here!
Natalie: What's wrong? Paul!
Paul Niles: I don't know. It's like a nightmare. It was a nightmare. I was running in the streets... doing "things".
Sam the Keeper: Mr. Niles, I just found out that Count Dracula was a faggot!
Paul Niles: Huh, Is that so?
Sam the Keeper: Hey, you don't have to believe me but that's the facts!
Natalie: Wuur-wilf? You mean Joel thinks this thing is a wuur-wilf?
Sam the Keeper: I was just praying for the police! I think we should call the cops!
Sam the Keeper: [after surviving a confrontation with Paul the Werewolf, to the audience] I'm the good guy!
Sam the Keeper: [Standing almost perfectly still a few feet from the werewolf] What's going on? Oh my God! Help me!
[Still not moving away]
Sam the Keeper: Holy Jesus God Father! Werewolf? Oh, no! Save me! This thing is a werewolf!
[is finally attacked]
Natalie: [totally flat and lifeless] This is absolutely fascinating...
Natalie: What are you hiding from me, Noel? Tell me the truth!
Noel: In due time, you'll know everything.
Natalie: Well, maybe then it's too late!
Noel: They can also tell when a man is Yalloglanchie. He takes on a series of strange body habits, like sleeping like a coyote, nose to anus. The house begins to smell like coyote urine.
Noel: Look Yuri, What the hell is wrong with you? I suggest you stay out here and get sober before you rejoin the party and when you do your gonna apologize to Natalie! Now go take a walk!
Yuri: Yeah, I'll take a walk!
[gives a disgusted look at the camera]
Taxi Driver: Uh, no, sir, a lot has changed. If you stick around you'll find out for yourself! Just the other night, half-man, half-beast got shot down! They took 'em to the hospital he's in a coma! The Police are investigating, its been all over My radio!
Paul Niles: Do you always greet people with a gun in your hand?
Sam the Keeper: What this? This is just to keep the flies down! There's some weird things happening around here!
Yuri: Where the hell have you been? Do you know what time it is? Where the hell is Tommy?
Bill: [spits] Here we go again.
Yuri: Hey I'm talking to you!
Joel: Look man! Tommy's at City Emergency Hospital He's sick!
Bill: Yeah he's turning in...
[Joel motions Bill to be quiet]
Joel: He's real sick!
Yuri: What's wrong with him?
Joel: He got an infection from that thing he got cut on yesterday, that's all I know. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to work.
Sam the Keeper: What's going on here? Oh my god? Help me? Holy Jesus God Father?
Natalie: So it all comes to this? You and Noel is in it for fame and fortune? But over my dead body! You hear me? I won't stand for it!