Quotes
Dusty: "The Suck Zone". It's the point basically when the twister... sucks you up. That's not the technical term for it, obviously.
Share thisRabbit: Uh... yeah, trust me. Rabbit is good, Rabbit is wise.
Share this[about Bill's new fiancee]
Bill: She's a... a therapist.
Jo: Oh... Yours?
Bill: Christ, you couldn't resist, could you?
Jo: What? I'm not saying you *need* therapy.
Bill: What? Wait, wait, wait, I need therapy?
Jo: I didn't say that. I didn't *say* that.
Bill: What could I possibly need a therapist for? Huh? You're the doctor, tell me!
Jo: I don't know... inability to finish things?
Bill: "Inability to finish things"?
Jo: Maybe rushing into things you can't quite commit to.
Bill: Commitment?
Jo: You asked!
Share thisJo: Can I drive?
Bill: No!
Jo: Then would you?
Bill: [noticing truck has drifted off the road and is about to run into a parked vehicle] Whoa!
Share thisDusty: Red meat. We crave sustenance.
Jo: No, guys. We are not invading my aunt.
Dusty: Food.
Dusty, Rabbit: [others join in] Food.
Dusty, Rabbit, Beltzer: [the rest join in] FOOOOOOOOD!
Jo: Hey! We are absolutely not going.
Share thisDr. Jonas Miller: [explaining what his own version of Dorothy can do when Bill uppercuts him in the face] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Bill: You son of a bitch.
[grabs Jonas by his shirt and begins to fight]
Dr. Jonas Miller: Hey man. What is your major malfunction?
Bill: You stole my design, you son of a bitch.
[continues to fight with Jonas then Bill's team and Jonas' team breaks them up]
Dr. Jonas Miller: What are you talking about?
Bill: Dorothy. You took her, you damn thief.
Dr. Jonas Miller: [relizes what Bill is talking about] Oh, I get it. You want to take credit for MY design.
Bill: She was OUR idea and you know it.
Dr. Jonas Miller: Unrealised idea... unrealised.
Share thisBill: Jo. Things go wrong. You can't explain it, you can't predict it. Killing yourself wo'nt bring your dad back. I'm sorry that he died, but that was a long time ago. You gotta move on. Stop living in the past, and look what you got right in front of you.
Jo: What are you talking about?
Bill: Me, Jo.
Share this[Bill needs Jo's signature on divorce papers]
Jo: So you want the papers?
Bill: I did drive all the way out here for 'em.
Jo: They're signed and ready.
Bill: Good, good. Let's see 'em.
Jo: Do you need them right this second?
Bill: Well, it'd be nice.
Jo: What's the urgent urgency? You act like you're getting married.
Bill: I am.
Jo: [after a shocked pause] Wow.
Bill: Yeah.
Jo: Is it Melinda?
Bill: Melissa.
Jo: Wasn't there a Melinda in there somewhere?
Bill: No, there's only been Melissa since you.
Jo: Boy, not much for browsing are you?
Share this[talking to a psychiatric patient on the phone]
Melissa: She didn't marry your penis... Okay, she didn't only marry your penis.
Share this[Crying with fright after a pair of tornadoes spun their truck around a few times]
Melissa: When you used to tell me that you chase tornadoes, deep down I thought it was just a metaphor.
Share this[after spotting Jonas being interviewed by a reporter on TV]
Jo: He really is in love with himself. I thought it was just a summer thing.
Share thisJo: Where's my truck...?
[the truck crashes back to earth, right in the middle of the road, in front of the truck Melissa is driving]
Jo: There it is.
Share thisAunt Meg: He didn't keep his part of the bargain, did he?
Jo: Which part?
Aunt Meg: To spend his life pining for you, and die miserable and alone.
Jo: Is that too much to ask?
Share thisJo: [cow flies by in the storm] Cow.
[cow flies by in the storm]
Jo: 'Nother cow.
Bill: Actually I think that was the same one.
Share thisMelissa: I gotta go Julia, we got cows.
Share thisBill: Why can't we spend a normal day together?
Share thisDusty: Ha Ha! It's the wonder of nature, baby!
Share thisBeltzer: Hey, you guys want to wrap this up pretty soon?
Bill: What?
Beltzer: Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to chase this tornado, or if you just wanted to catch the next one.
Bill: Shit!
Share thisRabbit: God, Meg, you've got a lot of beef. Where did you get all this beef?
Meg Greene: Did you see my cows out front?
Rabbit: No.
Meg Greene: Oh!
Dusty: You slaughter your own cows, Meg, nice.
Share thisDusty: Meg's gravy is famous. It's practically a food group.
Share this[to a terrified Melissa]
Dusty: Did you just miss that truck? That's awesome! That's AWESOME!
Share thisJo: You've never seen it miss this house, and miss that house, and come after you!
Share thisDusty: He's gonna rue the day he came up against The Extreme, baby. Bill, I'm talkin' imminent rueage.
Share this[Aunt Meg is being loaded into an ambulance]
Jo: Is she OK?
Paramedic: We'll probably keep her overnight just to be safe.
Aunt Meg: Overnight, forget it, I'm all right.
Jo: You're going to the hospital.
Aunt Meg: OK, I'll go, but I'm gonna drive myself.
Rabbit: Honey, your car is in a tree around the corner.
Aunt Meg: OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Share thisJo: Debris! We got debris!
Share this[Jonas is watching the doppler]
Dr. Jonas Miller: Looking good. Looking real good. Okay, about 4 miles down hang a right, deploy and we'll be done.
Eddie: Uh, Dr. Miller?
[Jonas looks up in time to see the twister change direction]
Dr. Jonas Miller: Shit... shit! It's moving away! God!
Eddie: Looks like they're going to intercept.
[Jonas spots Bill's team moving in]
Dr. Jonas Miller: [Over radio] Dammit, Tony, I thought you said this thing was gonna stay on the same heading!
Share this[Watching Jo and Bill approaching a tornado on a video camera]
Dusty: They're in the bear cage!
Share this[Seeing Jonas's team arriving after the first tornado wrecks Jo's truck]
Rabbit: Hey, the auto club's here.
Share this[Jo is salvaging belongings from her crashed truck and looking at Bill's new truck]
Jo: You got full insurance on that truck?
Bill: Liability only.
Jo: [thoughtfully] Liability only...
Jo: It's a very nice truck.
Melissa: [smiling] Thank you.
Bill: Don't even think about it.
[Jo keeps cleaning out her truck]
Bill: No way.
Share this[Jo and Bill are trying to hide from the F5 in a barn but see it's full of sharp metal farming implements]
Jo: My god, who are these people?
Bill: I don't think so!
Share this[Bill and Jo are in the shed hiding from the F5 tornado and bill sees water pipes coming out of the floor]
Bill: Here! These pipes go down at least thirty feet, if we anchor to them we might have a chance!
Share thisAunt Meg: [Meg's house has been hit by the tornado. Her dog is still inside] Bill! Can you get Mose for me? I think he's a little shaken up.
Share thisDusty: Fashionably late again, eh Jonas? Fashionably late. Gimme kiss baby!
[kisses Eddies cheek]
Eddie: Get outta here!
Dusty: [laughing; points at Eddie] Loser! Move on!
Share thisJoey: [Computer beeps] We've got a touchdown!
Laurence: [On radio] We have touchdown! Touchdown! Tornado is on the ground!
Haynes: [Hands radio to Beltzer] Listen to this!
Laurence: Looks like it's heading down Route 33.
Bill: Jo, we're on 33.
Jo: What's the path?
Laurence: Looks like it's going about 35 mph.
Rabbit: [Looking around] Can you see this?
Allan Sanders: I can not see this. Where is it? Hello? Which way you guys looking?
Bill: Where, where, where...
Jo: Direction, Rabbit.
Rabbit: North northeast!
Beltzer: Do you see it?
Haynes: No.
Rabbit: North northeast, you copy?
Bill: Shit, it's coming right at us!
Laurence: Axis has gone vertical, gone vertical. Sucker's really gaining up strength.
Jo: You see it?
Bill: No...
[Takes radio]
Bill: Beltzer! We do not have a visual. Repeat, we do not have a visual. Help us out here!
Jo: Where is it?
Beltzer: Yeah, I got it Billy. Best motion I've ever seen. Looks like the base of this sucker's at least a half mile wide.
Bill: Rabbit?
Rabbit: If you are going east on 7, it should be coming right over that hill in a matter of minutes!
Allan Sanders: This is the one man, I feel it.
Share thisJo: Guys, we are NOT invading my aunt!
Share thisJo: [in the truck, discussing Bill's current life changes] Hey, as long as you're happy...
Bill: I AM. I AM happy. I'm a happy person. I'm happy with my life. I'm happy with the way things are going in my life. I'm happy with... with...
Jo: Melissa?
Bill: I know her name! YES. I'm happy... with... Melissa!
Share thisHaynes: [listening to Bill and Jo argue on the CB] I think they're getting better at this.
Share thisJo: You know what, as long as you're happy.
Bill: Thank you! I am happy! Im a happy person. Im happy with my life, Im happy with the way things are going in my life, Im happy with- with...
Jo: Melissa?
Bill: I know her name! Yes im happy with Melissa! I am!
Jo: [while Bill is talking] You look happy.
[whispers]
Jo: You look happy.
Share thisRabbit: In a severe lightning storm, you wanna grab your ankles and stick your butt in the air.
Share thisBeltzer: Hey there professor, I think I fixed it.
Jo: [dish sparks] Fuck me, this thing is useless!
Beltzer: Sorry, Jo.
Jo: [dish works] That's good!Thats Good! Beltzer get me a reading.
Beltzer: Hang on a second, boss lady, hold your horses. Which way you want it, Jo?
Jo: Looks like the dry line has stalled. A sector scan of West North-West look for rotation and increase the PRF.
Share thisDusty: He strolls up to the twister, and he says, *have a drink*. And he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it never hits the ground.
Share thisDusty: [after first tornado, Dusty walks over to Joe's crashed truck while she's grabbing things out of it, laughing and noticing DOROTHY I still strapped in the bed, damaged] Well there's some good news, it *did* fly. What was it like?
Jo: It was windy.
Dusty: Windy.
[snorts]
Dusty: That's intense.
Jo: All right, move it, Dusty!
Dusty: That's intense!
Share thisBill: Honey, this is a tissue of lies. You see there was a bad Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.
Share thisBeltzer: Normal man spends his life avoiding tense situations.
Dusty: Repo Man spends his life getting into tense situations, Beltzer!
Share this[after the twister has passed]
Bill: It's gone... it's gone.
Jo: [looking behind them] Where's my truck?
[cut to road; truck crashes to the ground in front of Melissa in Bill's truck]
Melissa: [screams]
Share thisBill: [over radio] OK, Rabbit, time to impress me.
Share thisDusty: Jo! Bill! Did you see that explosion?
Jo: [having just driven through the exploding petroleum truck with Bill] Yeah, we saw it.
Share this[last lines]
Allan Sanders: Hey Jo and Bill, check out that sky!
Jo: You know what? I think we've seen enough.
[turns and kisses Bill]
Share thisRabbit: Look, all I'm saying is don't fold the maps.
Allan Sanders: I didn't fold the maps.
Rabbit: Yeah, well Kansas is a mess, there's a big crease right through Wichita. ROLL the maps.
Share thisRabbit: Find this road... it's like Bob's Road...
Share thisDr. Jonas Miller: Well, let me enlighten you people.
Share thisDr. Jonas Miller: Today, we're gonna make history, so stick around. 'Cause the days of sniffing the dirt are over.
Laurence: Better than what *you* sniff.
Bill: We'll see who gets there first... "pal".
Dr. Jonas Miller: [to Bill] Oh, by the way. I really enjoy your weather reports.
[Jonas' crew laugh]
Bill: [runs at Jonas] You slime! I'm not through with you yet!
[Jo's crew break up the fight]
Laurence: [of Jonas] He's a corporate kiss-butt, man!
Share thisDusty: [while watching Jonas on television] Oh God, he sucks.
Rabbit: Oh, shut up. Get him off.
[Bill turns off the televsion]
Jo: [about Jonas] He is so in love with himself. I thought it was just a summer thing.
Share thisMelissa: Why do you call him the extreme.
Dusty: Because Bill *is* the extreme. There was one time, he has a bottle of Jack Daniels, he was butt naked.
Bill: I was not naked, I was "not naked".
Dusty: He walks up to the twister, he throws the bottle, he says here have some. The bottle never hits the ground.
Bill: [to Melissa] Honey, these are a list of lies. There was another Bill, I killed him.
Share thisJoey: [Discussing at Meg's on the tornadoes they have seen so far] No, that was a good size twister. What was it, an F3?
Bill: Solid F2.
Melissa: See, now you have lost me again.
Bill: It's the Fujita scale. It measures a tornado's intensity by how much it eats.
Melissa: Eats?
Bill: Destroys.
Laurence: That one we encountered back there was a strong F2, possibly an F3.
Beltzer: Maybe we'll see some 4's.
Haynes: That would be sweet!
Bill: 4 is good. 4 will relocate your house very efficently.
Melissa: Is there an F5?
[Everyone goes dead silent]
Melissa: What would that be like?
Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: The Finger of God.
Melissa: None of you has ever seen an F5?
Bill: ...Just one of us.
[Looks upstairs, indicating Jo]
Share thisJo: [in the middle of an argument chasing the first tornado, veering off the road] Do you want me to drive?
Bill: [while looking at Jo instead of road] No!
Jo: [Seeing they are heading for a large combine parked along the side of the road] Then would you?
[Bill swerves to avoid]
Share thisMelissa: [after seeing DOROTHY for the first time] Wow, it is great... what is it?
Share thisBill: Honey, it's Meg. I gotta go.
Melissa: I'm going back.
Bill: Good, good, you'll be safe at the motel. I'll see you in the morning.
Melissa: I won't be there.
Bill: What? Why? What are you saying?
Melissa: I'm saying goodbye.
Bill: No...
Melissa: You know what? I can't compete with this. I don't even know where to start.
Bill: Wait, don't do this now, please.
Melissa: Sooner or later it would have ended, we both know that. The funny thing is... I'm not that upset. What does that mean?
Bill: I never meant for any of this to happen,
Melissa: Oh Billy, I know. It's okay. You go ahead. She needs you. I hope that Aunt Meg's okay.
Bill: What about you?
Melissa: Oh, don't worry about me. I know my way home.
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