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|Index||71 reviews in total|
I don't have much of an opinion on this flick. Because what's there to
analyze? Gratuitous violence. Gratuitous gore. Gross-out effects strictly
for shock value. Gratuitous nudity and close-ups of big breasts. What we
have here is a feminist's nightmare. What we also have is an absolute
I'm sure women won't enjoy this as much and will probably b*tch about the overdose of female nudity, but for all you guys who just don't give a damn and just want to kick back and have a good time: You will love this movie!! This is like a mix of Wes Craven and Howard Stern. A supreme guilty pleasure!
I enjoy deep, artistically brilliant films like "American Beauty" and "Magnolia," but there's no reason I can't enjoy a campy, shallow, sleazy horror flick like this. I don't ONLY enjoy these types of flicks, but I can enjoy it as long as it's done in a fun, tongue-in-cheek, unpretentious manner. I just want to get that straight. OK, I'll go on. :)
Dennis Miller provides great comic relief in his lead role. Those who are fans of his schtick should look forward to this movie. The horror sequences, though sometimes cheesy, are great fun to watch. There's a spectacular sequence at the end with excellent usage of the song "Ballroom Blitz." There are other great classics like "All Right Now" and "Jailbreak." That's why I bought the soundtrack. It's awesome!
So this movie fits the "guy flick" stereotype like a glove. If you're not in the mood for excessive violence, gore and female nudity--don't watch this movie! Don't say I didn't warn you.
My score: 7 (out of 10)
While I enjoyed the humor and the Crypt Keepers puns more in this than in Demon Knight, the overall experience of this is just slightly inferior. This one suffers mainly under not having such an entertaining villain/main monster as the first one; Lilith does have some decent lines, but almost all of them were sexual innuendos, which gets old a little too fast. The Collector was more entertaining, with his cynical and sarcastic personality. There's also less "action" in this one, though there might be slightly more gore. In this one, the plot also moves along a little too slowly, considering the fact that it's only meant as entertainment; with that in mind, you have to wonder why it takes so long to tell the story and get to the gore and blood. The ending sequence was also slightly less entertaining and exciting than the one in Demon Knight. Like Demon Knight, the film manages to bring in plenty of both sex and violence, often both at the same time. Apart from Rafe(Dennis Miller), there weren't really any interesting or entertaining characters. Miller does a really great job, portraying the type of character he usually does; a slimy, sarcastic jerk. That is the Miller that we fans know and love. It's nice to see him in a role that compliments his talents so well. The film, like Demon Knight, is very gory and violent, although apart from the Crypt Keepers puns, and some of Miller's lines, this didn't have that much to offer. It's good enough to watch, if you've got 90 minutes to kill, and you don't want to see Demon Knight, don't want to re-watch it, or can't find it. The films are both worth watching, but I'd suggest Demon Knight over this one. I recommend it(like the first) to fans of gory horror films, and people who just want to be entertained for 90 minutes without having to think very much. 6/10
Ok, I am a female, so I really got annoyed by all the nudity in it of women... but, besides that, I think people are being too hard on this movie... If you rent a Tales From The Crypt movie, don't expect something very good... but I was a little dissapointed when I saw this, because I think Demon Knight is about one of the best horrors made, and I was surprised that their second film was far different than Demon Knight... This one, Bordello Of Blood, was more funny than anything (quite funny humor I must admit at some points in the movie) with gore, that's all it was, funny and bloody, I was shocked that this movie really didn't have a real plot to it (none that I realized anyway) except obviously, there was vampires, and they wanted them dead... Did I miss something? In Demon Knight, there was a strong plot, great acting, (Especially, Billy Zane...) And funny, gory, exciting, etc., but this was just... pretty plain. If you are expecting a good vampire movie out of this, go watch something else... may I recommend John Carpenter's Vampires? A more serious, believable vampire movie =), but hey, COME ON... this movie isn't THAT bad... is it? The whole idea of it was dumb, and I think made for men, and that isn't fair to us female fans of Tales From The Crypt... am I missing something? Well, maybe the "boss" the cryptkeeper IS a guy, I guess he has say-so about what is put in the movies...
Blood, breasts, vampires and Chris Sarandon. How can you go wrong?
"Bordello of Blood," the second "Tales From The Crypt" feature film, supplies the viewer with ample amounts of all of the above, leaving room for little else. What it lacks in story, it more than makes up for in its cheap thrills, and as far as midnight guilty pleasures go, this one is about as good as it gets.
The story revolves around a good-girl (Erika Eleniak) whose delinquent brother (Corey Feldman) goes missing. Upon hiring a wise-cracking private detective, it is revealed that a local morgue is housing a brothel run by a gang of beautiful but deadly vampires. Armed with super-soakers full of holy water and with the help of a guitar-slinging reverend (Chris Sarandon), the two set out to put the joint out of business once and for all.
Dennis Miller is essentially playing himself, but keeps the humor pumping through the film's ridiculous premise. Chris Sarandon, likewise, is in top form as the genre hero he truly is. As mentioned before, there's plenty of bare-flesh and red-stuff to go around, and if that sort of thing is your bag, you'll have a blast with "Bordello of Blood." Take it for the cheap thrill ride it is.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
BORDELLO is far inferior to FROM DUSK TIL DAWN, which came out around
the same time, but both have similar central ideas: a bordello (well,
in DAWN it was a strip bar) that's a front for vampires. This one's in
the basement of a funeral home; Corey Feldman's an early victim. Dennis
Miller (of all people -- was Jon Lovitz out sick that week?) is the PI
who's looking into Feldman's disappearance for Erika Eleniak, a
Pluses include tons of gratuitous nudity, tons of gratuitous gore, Corey Feldman, who belongs in these kind of roles, Dennis Miller wisecracking his way through everything, a midget, a creepy old guy playing a necrophiliac, good uses of "Thirty Days in the Hole" and "Ballroom Blitz", and Angie Everhart chewing the scenery. Minuses include too much Chris Sarandon, too much of the spectacularly unfunny Cryptkeeper, not nearly enough vampire sex to suit me (we're in a bordello, c'mon), and a bit too much lazy "we know it sucks, just ride with it" vibe for my taste.
So it's not a schlock masterpiece. But its fun, and even it's tongue in cheek tone is preferable to the self-serious schlock one puts up with nowadays.
The dwarf Vincent Prather (Phil Fondacaro) leads an expedition to the
Tierra del Fuego following an ancient map. He arrives at a cave where
there is a coffin instead of a treasure. He opens a box with four
pieces of a heart and revives the mother of all vampires Lilith (Angie
Everhart) that kills his employees. Vincent uses a key artifact with
blood to control and protect himself from Lilith.
The punk Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) has an argument with his sister Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak ) and leaves their house to go to a bar to meet a friend. They learn that there is an amazing brothel at 325 Beaumont, a funeral home where they should ask for the Cunningham Wake. They are received by the mortician McCutcheon (Aubrey Morris) and soon they go to the brothel. However Lilith runs the place and the girls are vampires. Caleb's friend is killed by Lilith that that rips his heart out of his chest and then Caleb is attacked by her.
Katherine goes to the precinct to report that her brother is missing but the police officer does not give much attention to her. The private investigator Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) overhears her conversation and offers his services to Katherine. The snoopy Rafe tracks Caleb's path and he discovers that the brothel seems to be a lair of vampires. But Katherine, who works with Reverend Current (Chris Sarandon) that has a business connection with Lilith, does not believe in his word. Now Rafe is seeking evidences to prove to Katherine that he is telling the truth.
"Bordello of Blood" is an underrated gore comedy of vampires. The plot is funny, with beautiful and hot female vampires, and also with a great unexpected conclusion. The comedy is a funny parody of horror and crime genres with the sexy Angie Everhart and Erika Eleniak. But Dennis Miller steals the movie in the role of a sleazy but efficient private eye. Lilith's tongue reaching the heart of her victims is hilarious; however the funniest scene is when Rafe teams up with Reverend Current and they use squirt guns with holy water to defeat the female vampires, exploding them. When the viewer expects a happy ending, with the good guy and the good girl together, there is an unforeseen conclusion. My vote is seven.
Title (Brazil): "O Bordel de Sangue" ("The Brothel of Blood")
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Before I write this interview, I wanted to just explain that I have
been a Dennis Miller fan since I was 11 (1994), and he was the only
reason I saw this movie. I also think he was one of the aspects of this
movie that held redeeming value. In addition, purchased it new for less
than $10 a few years ago, and it is in my Halloween movie collection.
With that out of the way, I'll start my review.
Vampress Lilith (Angie Everhart) is brought to life again after a long rest in one of the far corners of the world by Reverend Jimmy Current (Chris Sarandon) and his partner Vincent. The two establish a bordello disguised as a funeral home to attract "evil" local young men. The men can "get stiff among the stiffs," but men start disappearing. This disappearance of local young men hits close to home for Katherine Verdoux(Erika Eleniak) when her rebellious younger brother Caleb (Corey Feldman) goes missing. So, she hires a Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) a wisecracking, seedy private investigator with good intentions and a quite unusual case--all involving this mortuary with secrets. Rafe and Katherine put themselves into a mystery that crosses the boundary of the living and the dead--rather, the undead.
This movie, thought quite funny, is a bad movie. That's just how it is. Going into this movie, the title itself is an indication of how trashy or bad it really is. But man, is it a fun trip! I found myself laughing at pretty much all the right scenes and all the right lines. Its as though the lines are tailored for Miller himself, it is perfect shtick for him. Most of the movies he's been in had parts written especially for him, but this was perfect. My first impression of Rafe is that he's a jerk, but I discovered (rather quickly) that he is rather good-natured and good-intentioned, and that he truly wants to help Katherine out.
There are two scenes I absolutely loathed about this movie--the scene where Lilith encounters Rafe in his office (I turn the channel off or fast-forward the tape), and the opening scene of the movie where Lilith is discovered by Rev. Current and Vincent (this is only watchable once). Otherwise, this movie is quite funny and interesting if you plan on getting into it. My biggest beef (spoiler) is that we don't even meet our hero until roughly 20 minutes into the movie! When you're first billed, doesn't this mean you'll show up earlier in the film? I guess someone missed one of the most important parts of film-making, or at least credit order. But, its OK, really, it's not the worst thing about the film.
This is essentially a bad movie. I read another review that says that it seems Dennis Miller is letting the viewers know this. He sure is! This is one of those so-bad-it's-funny kind of movies (why it used to be in the horror section of the video store I have no idea). However, Dennis Miller is hysterical in it!! I loved his moments--he had a lot of good ones.
I liked when he goes to the "Cunningham wake," and watches as the men lift the coffin out of the room, but struggle with it. Guttman, observing the scene, says "Wow, she really was a heavyweight." He does make some of the most classically bad facial expressions I have witnessed in a long time (honestly, after seeing this, I want to know what acting school I have to go to just to learn to "Act the Dennis Miller Way"). My favorite scenes are the Super Soaker scene (I won't divulge on this too much, not to spoil it, but it is a classic scene not to me missed), the scene where he sneaks back into the mortuary to investigate, and when Rafe heads into the coffin drop to visit the Bordello.
So why 7 out of 10 stars? One point deducted for the opening scene, which tends to be long and drawn-out. Watch this once, and you'll understand what is going on. What redeems this film is that after this point in the film, it becomes better, and the plot begins to move a little. One the same point, the entire first twenty minutes of the film is a complete drag. Skip the introduction on the next viewing. Another point deducted for the scene where Lilith encounters Rafe in his office--this scene is just a complete turn-off to me (2, 4, 6, 8--You can watch me masturbate!--yuck). And a third point deducted for the nudity. Yes, I know, it's a bordello, yes, they're supposed to be nude. But, I 'm a female, and I don't take pleasure in watching naked women prance around. But, I'm flexible, so I pushed past that dislike and ignored it. The bad acting isn't even a negative--it adds to the movie's silly nature.
This is a great Halloween movie, but non-Dennis Miller fans may be turned off by it. Maybe not, I don't know. The acting is pretty bad, but that's the point--it's not Oscar-caliber material. I highly recommend this movie--it has its moments that make is memorable (probably not for all the right reasons, but it tries). Some classic scenes make it funny, and you just may watch it more than once (I have!). Just try not to read too much into it. It really is quite an enjoyable diversion.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
"Bordello of Blood" is about a Christian woman (Erika Eleniak) who is
looking for his missing goth brother (Corey Feldman) and therefore
hires a private detective to find him (Dennis Miller). It turns out
that the women of the bordello are vampires, and the place is being run
by a Reverend (Chris Sarandon) who wants to get rid of sinners.
Lots of comments deal with the fact that this movie is gory and filled with nudity; it's true, and I think there is a scene that captures its spirit:
Dennis Miller and the Reverend, decide to kill Lilith (Angie Everhart), the "leader" of the vampires. Of course, they have to deal with the vampire women in the house first, so the decide to carry...Waterguns filled with Holy Water!!! Then all hell breaks loose: they shoot their water guns at the nude women, who explode into guts or get caught on fire after being hit. This happens while "Ballroom Blitz" is being played.
Overall "Bordello of Blood" its not as scary as it is silly. Dennis Miller is great as the detective, and there is a cameo appearance by Whoopi Goldberg as a patient in a hospital.
This movie is funny as hell and has tons of gore, why don't people like this? The great Chris Sarandon is also in this(Fright Night) and we get to see one of the Coreys play a fun vampire. Oh yeah, there are hundreds of hot women with breast implants running around naked and exploding. This movie is awesome!
Dennis Miller tries to stop a group of female bi-sexual vampires (led by the ultra-erotic Angie Everhart) who pose as prostitutes at a funeral home that acts as a front for a supposed prostitution ring. By the way, I am completely serious. "Bordello of Blood" is a crazed mess that is so hilarious because of its stupidity that it nearly becomes a deceptive winner. This is the second film of the mid-1990s from "The Tales From the Crypt" HBO series (the equally under-achieving "Demon Knight" was released in 1995). I personally like this picture a little more because it does not take itself too seriously and almost works better as a parody. However the film never rises from its very odd premise as its tone is unclear and the immensely funny situations are sometimes over-shadowed by very graphic violence and constant sexual situations. Arguably Miller's finest performance (go figure that one too) and the steamy vampires are not quite enough to keep "Bordello of Blood" from needing a shot for its STDs (Seriously Tedious Dilemmas). 2 stars out of 5.
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